"It was just another evening, just like this; I had tucked Samaya and Arlin to sleep, and then put the sheeps back in their cabin when suddenly I heard a broken twig. I thought I was terrified to see Edad carrying your lifeless body over his shoulder, but not as terrified as Edad. That look on his face; like a child who had just witnessed the end of the world right in front of him. We rushed you in, and alerted the rest. Edad cleaned you, put you in fresh clothes while I treated your wounds. I didn't take long before I noticed that Edad was sneaking Ganya in every night to see you while the village slumbers. It didn't take long for the village to find out either."
Something in my chest drops into my stomach, forcing me to stop on my tracks and turn to her. My shoulders suddenly go stiff like a rock. Isha might have sensed my growing unease, so she gives me a reassuring smile.
"Relax, Abel. Deep down, we already grew tired of harboring such hatred for her – even before Cain took her away. So, when we saw her, alive, and concerned for you… then, just then, we realized that we might've been the monsters all along, fighting what we didn't understand, fighting who didn't want to fight us. And so, we decided to take her in. We clothe her, fed her, prayed for her. Baby steps and… we grew fond of her. And now she roams free, unafraid and at peace."
I nod gently, and then scoff.
"What is it?" Isha asks, studying me.
"This is a dream. I must be dreaming to think that the day, where she would stop being haunted and finally welcomed has come." Shaking my head vehemently, "no… this isn't real." I mutter to myself.
Isha gives me a gentle tap on the back. "Well, you've been asleep for a long time, Abel. Sure it wasn't easy, but we are there now."
"Are we? You mean to tell me that it took 30 out of 93 days to warm up to somebody who this very village despise – even from the beginning? Who the village grew up to be scared of? Who Cain haunted relentlessly for almost all his life, who everyone agreed – including you, to hunt down and be sacrificed to God at the altar?" Shaking my head, " you might think it's easy, but it's not that simple to grasp, Isha."
"Abel –"
"And I believe the children are still very much terrified of her, because that's exactly what they've been told to do."
"Abel, we're there now. I know it's hard to believe, but we're finally there, and we see her now, we accept her now."
"Accept…" I murmur. "Accept? Are you serious? Have you forgotten, Ishan and how he died? How you grieved him? How you swore to the heart that you would find that which took his life? Have you forgotten how loud you applauded when Cain proposed the idea of Ganya's execution? It was you who gave him all the encouragement he needed to capture her. Have you forgotten? Have you accepted that?"
"Abel? It's okay to have your doubts, even I worry for her safety too, but… you have to trust us, we do lie and we do not betray – and now that you are awake, perhaps you will find a place suitable for her. But know this, she has moved on too, all she was waiting for was for you to wake up… and now you have." She looks on, then picks up a tiny rock and added it to the pile of rocks in front of her.
I do the same; pick up a rock, steps forward slowly and place it carefully on the piled rocks. "He lived well," I mutter. "We always fight, but, he was always the one who comes first to apologize."
"You were his best friend, Abel. I'm sure he didn't wanted to lose you. Not to a fight, i guess."
I nod gently. "But it was Cain who told him to do that. Hadn't Cain asked him, I don't think he would."
"You shouldn't be surprised, are you?"
"I'm not. Because I knew. I also know that Luther might have been my best friend but… he was always, always loyal to Cain. He would literally lay down his life for him."
"And you think no one would do the same for you?"
I glance at her and she glances back, giving me a knowing smile. I look away and let out a long sigh.
"Abel, do you realize where you stand?"
"I stand before Luther's grave."
Isha scoff. "I meant now that Cain is gone. Do you realize that you're the last of your father's sons? Do you wish to see the great length people would go just to keep you alive?"
"That's not what I want. I wouldn't want anyone to lay down their lives for me – especially those I love."
"But it can't be helped, can it? It's important that you stay alive, Abel. It's important that you stay safe because you are important."
I turn to her, staring deep into her ember eyes until I see my very reflection in them. "I am safe, Isha. And wanting to be with the woman I love, as well as keeping her safe isn't going to change that."
She lets out a sigh. "Not even me?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You always listened to me in the past. Can you please do that one last time?"
I let out a soft sigh, feeling cornered. "Isha –"
"You can keep each other safe by keeping distance, Abel. If you can't do that, then perhaps you can't take risks. She knows better, Abel. If you think you can still keep her even after losing Cain – because of her, then you don't care enough for her as much as she cares for you."
I swallow hard. I don't know why, but the mere thought of letting the Night child go instead only Abel's burden to bear but mine too. This sick attachment he has for her is slowly becoming my own too, and hearing this woman asking me to let go of her is actually making me want her more.
This won't be easy. I can feel it.
"I want to hear it from her. I want her to push me away with her own hands, then, only then will I consider."
"Abel, there's nothing to consider –"
"You have no idea how long I've loved her, Isha. I've loved her even before I knew what love is, even before I knew what she was – and I loved her even more after that." I swallow the lump growing in my throat, shaking my head. "No. Even if I take a blade to the chest, I don't think I'll ever stop loving her, Isha."
"Abel." Isha looks on, glaring with concern mixed with bewilderments.
"I'm telling you, Isha. I'm telling you this based on what I've experienced lately; we're better off together than apart. If you want to keep me safe… then leave us be."
She scoffs, and then walks away, heading towards the path we came from; the village. And I follow closely.
•••
As soon as we arrive at the village square, the children stops what they're doing and rushes to me, circling me while giggling.
I giggle back at them, at the sea of flushed, innocent faces staring up at me with pair of blue, ember, hazel, brown eyes. I find myself giving in, letting go and joining the fun. I find myself laughing more than I ever have. I find myself holding onto their tiny hands, and not letting go. I find myself ready to catch whichever one of them that tries to fall.
I don't know if this is Abel right now, or me. This feeling, this moment… is good.
Malak aren't given a single chance to be ourselves. To find what we like, for ourselves. To find what heals us without the silver core flowing through our veins. We aren't given the chance to look the other way. It has always been one way in , and one way out.
So I'm curious. Who owns this feeling that I feel now? Does Abel love children? Or this is me, finding what I love for myself?
Is this Abel's nature? Or is this who I truly am outside the gates of Aravoth; lover of children?
"Chief!" Edad calls out from a distance, waving – also making heads turn to me.
I return the wave, smiling sheepishly. And so, he stops making brooms and approaches.
" I don't think I've seen anyone this happy before." I murmur.
Isha scoffs, sneaking up from behind. "One small incident and he's refused to leave you alone, even for a single second."
I scoff too, turning to her briefly. "According to you, Isha 'I almost died' you can't possibly call that a small accident."
"Chief, you've returned." Edad joins in, beaming.
"I'm not the chief anymore, Edad."
"Yes," Isha takes over. "and if you don't learn to call Abel by his name, you're going to get the villagers –including the new chief confused."
"And jealous," I add. "Trust me, nothing hurts more than when one's title is addressed to someone else."
Edad raises his hand in surrender. "I'm sorry. Just… bad habit." He says, nodding subtly while keeping our gaze locked onto one another. And then I remember.
"Edad?"
He takes a step closer, hands suddenly going behind his back and remaining that way.
"Chief?"
I let out a long sigh. "Thank you."
His brows furrow as he takes another step closer. "For what?"
"For… " my voice trails off.
I may not know Edad more than Abel does, but… these past few times I've spent with him, made me realize that he respects me. That he gives, without wanting back. He doesn't move on very quickly, and he's there… wherever I am. He is there.
Our gaze remains locked in, blue to blue. So, if I was Abel, I'd thank him, for staying. I had killed Cain and… instead of leaving me to rot, he brought me home. And he snuck in the very woman he knew who was powerful enough to heal me with her mere presence.
Suddenly, I narrow the space between us and pull him into a tight hug instead. "No words, Edad. Just… thank you." His arms snakes around my ribs, curling all the way to my back, pulling me in closer. "I thought I've lost a friend," I whisper to him alone. "I was wrong. So wrong."
He pulls away to look at me intently. He let out a soft sigh and a subtle nod, then his eyes softens, back to his usual beam. "So, after Cain and Luther, I guess you'll be meeting the elders next?"
I clear my throat. "Yes, I believe they'd be waiting for me at their chambers."
"What do you think they're summoning you for?" Edad asks innocently.
"He just woke up from an endless sleep, Edad, perhaps they want to hear all his trip."
Edad laughs. "Or… they want to re-coronate as the village chief?"
"Or they want to punish me for killing my brother." That statement not only knock out air from their lungs, it forces them to mute. Isha and Edad look up at once, eyes wide with shock, shock that I had said what I said. "I should probably go now –"
"Not before you wash."
I glance sideways to find the Night child landing against the wall. Always leaning against something. And this time, her hands aren't empty; she carrying a pair of fresh clean clothes, a fur and… sandals in her arms. Abel's sandals.
"Ahh, yes. Sorry Abel, your banter made me forget your routine."
I turn to Isha with a raised brow. "Routine?"
She nods. "Yes, routine."
I turn to the Night child again and almost collided into her. "Uh, thank you." I reach out for the clothes, but she wouldn't let go.
"We don't have time," she turns away. "come."
"Uhh, Isha?"
"Yes, Abel."
"Where is she taking me?"
"To wash, my lord."
"This isn't funny." My growl surfaces as a pathetic whine.
"Do you see me laughing?"
"You are biting back a grin." I whine even more and this makes her laugh – except Edad, who is suddenly hiding his reaction from me.
"Edad washed you too but only for 13 days. Other days has been her, Abel. I think… she's gotten used to it."
I swallow once. And then twice, harder. For some reason, I'm feeling hot everywhere and my throat is suddenly dry like I've threaded the earth for an eternity without a drop of water.
I look down at my palms, my awfully flushed palms. "She washed me?" I mutter to myself.
"And… clothe you." Isha adds. I can literally taste the amusement in her voice.
I scoff, smiling as I stare at the path she took. "And now she wants to wash me… again?"
Edad exhale sharply. "You should hurry after her, chief." He says quietly, and then walks away.m without another glance.
"Just… don't get on her nerves. She's been through a lot." Isha taps me on the back one last time, and then pushes me towards the Night child's direction. "Good luck!"
Good luck?
What exactly do I need luck for?
"Walk, Abel!" Isha bellows, forcing my legs into action.