And then the first thing I saw in front of my eyes was that I was in my room, my room.
But how could it be possible?
Where is Yuan Yuan, and where is Chen Shiyuan? She must have woken up by this time. I need to see her.
And I tried to get up from my bed, but at that moment I realized something: I was not alone in this room. Xin Xin was sitting near me.
And when I tried to get up from the bed, Xin Xin held both of my hands and said, "Zhao Shiza, don't get up from the bed. You have finally woken up after so long. First let Doctor Hu see you, then only you can get up," she said to me.
I got pretty shocked seeing Xin Xin here. Hadn't she already gotten married and had kids? Then what was she doing here? And who was Doctor Hu, and why did he want to see me first?
And why did Xin Xin say that I had woken up after a long time? Did I fall asleep?
But I had never fallen asleep for more than six hours, so why was she saying it like this?
I asked myself these questions. So many questions were going around in my mind, but there were no answers.
It seemed like everything had changed within the blink of an eye, and I was so clueless.
I didn't know where to go and whom to ask about it.
But the most important thing was that I needed to find him.
I said this to myself.
And then I again tried to get up from the bed, but Xin Xin stopped me again.
"Please don't move, Zhao Shiza. Aren't you understanding? You are not in a condition to move," she said.
This was really enough. Xin Xin was testing my patience to the next level.
And then I burst out in anger at her and said, "Xin Xin, could you please stop it? Let me get up from the bed. I need to see him. I don't know what he is thinking at this time. He really can't handle seeing me like this. You know what? Even if I got a slight cut on my thumb while chopping vegetables, he got so worried about it that you can't even imagine," I said.
"Zhao Shiza, what are you saying? I am not getting it. Are you really okay?" Xin Xin asked me.
I got frustrated by her stupid question and asked her, "Tell me, what's the time right now?"
"It's nine a.m. in the morning," Xin Xin said.
"Oh, it's nine a.m. I got late for work. He must have gone to work by this time," I said.
Xin Xin placed her hand on my shoulder and said, "Zhao Shiza, whom are you talking about, and what kind of strange things are you saying right now?" she asked me.
"Xin Xin, stop it. Please go find him. I don't know what he is going through at this moment," I said worriedly.
"Whom?" she asked me.
"Yuan Yuan," I said.
Xin Xin got a little shocked hearing this from me, and I really didn't know why she was giving me that kind of expression.
Then, after a second, she asked me very slowly and in a very calm tone, "Do you still remember him?"
"How could I not?" I said.
And I was about to say after that, How could I not remember him? He is my husband.
But I stopped myself in the middle of the sentence because before I could speak further, I saw something that I couldn't even believe with my own eyes.
Then a voice came, carrying so much love and care in it.
"Xiao Shiza, you have finally woken up. My God has finally answered all my prayers."
And then tears filled her eyes so much that she couldn't control them anymore, and they fell uncontrollably from her eyes.
Then she hugged me.
I hugged her back and said, "Ma."
She kissed my forehead and cheeks and said, "Yes, my Xiao Shiza. Your Ma has been waiting for so long, for many years, to give the warmth of my love to my Xiao Shiza. But it looks like this day has finally arrived after so many years," she said.
"How many years, Ma?" I asked her while looking at her.
But before she could answer me, tears filled her eyes again, and Xin Xin came in between and said,
"It's been so many years. But Ma always loved you and waited for the day when you would come back. But look, you finally came back. You really don't know, Zhao Shiza, that these years have been so difficult for Ma to spend without you. No matter how hard I try, your place will never be fulfilled," Xin Xin said.
I got very shocked hearing all this because whatever she was saying completely seemed like a different story from a different world where I had never been.
I thought this to myself.
And then I held Ma's hand in mine and asked her, "But where did I go?"
And then suddenly Doctor Hu appeared, holding a file of reports in his hands, and said,
"Oneiric Consciousness Syndrome, OCS."
"What was it?" I asked him immediately.
"In simple language, it's called Mèngjìng Yìshí Zōnghézhēng. It's a rare condition where a person's body remains unconscious for years. And in your case, it remained unconscious for six years. But the mind remains active, and that active mind creates a series of life in its own illusion that seems real to you, but it is really not," he said.
My ears couldn't believe what I had just heard.
Did this mean that my life with him was just a state of mind or a condition?
Was all of that fake?
The love between us, the memories we made together, our daughter, our love...
Was it all just nothing more than a dream?
No.
It couldn't be possible.
Everything felt so real.
That couldn't be possible.
I said this to myself.
Tears filled my eyes, and I said to Doctor Hu,
"I have lived a life there during these years, and it all felt so real. How can it be just my mind?"
Doctor Hu came near me and looked at me closely.
Then he said,
"You really don't know. The mind has so much power that it can do anything and everything. The same happened to you too, Zhao Shiza. The life that you think you were really living during these past six years was all just your dream fantasy, made by your mind and fulfilled by your heart's desires," he said.
"But time will heal everything. I am not going to ask you what kind of life your mind made you live through these years. It's totally your personal matter. My medical work doesn't require me to know what kind of life it was. But by looking at your expression and reaction after waking up, that life must have been the one that you always desired to live. And now you are finding it difficult to leave it behind."
"But I will say it again: time will heal everything."
And then Doctor Hu went outside my room with Ma to talk to her.
Xin Xin switched on the TV in my room and, while giving the remote into my hands, said,
"This is Xu Yuan's new drama. It's going on nowadays. I think you should watch it too."
"Actually, I really don't know, Zhao Shiza. Even after waking up from six years, the first thing you asked about was him. I really didn't expect it."
Then she looked at me very curiously and asked,
"But Zhao Shiza, what did you see in your six-year-long dream?"
But by my expression she understood that I didn't want to answer her.
So she said by herself,
"It's okay if you don't want to tell me about it. Take your time."
And then, after patting my back, she left the room.
And I was left there alone with the remote in my hands and him on the TV screen in that drama.
And I asked myself:
Was that life just my dream?
Was us just my dream?
Did you and I never meet?
Was the difference between us never erased?
Did you still not know about my existence till now?
And I asked these questions to myself while tears filled my eyes.
And then...