WELCOME TO THE END OF YOUR BRAIN CELLS"
The story begins the way all disasters begin—by accident.
Someone, somewhere, in an unfortunate corner of the internet, clicked on a video titled:
"WELCOME TO THE CHAOS CHANNEL (we talk about everything and regret nothing)"
It was uploaded by a channel called "The Three Brain Cells."
No one really knows who gave them that name. Some say it was destiny. Others say it was an insult that stuck. Either way, the screen flickered to life—showing a studio that looked like if a rejected classroom, an emergency ward, and a podcast set had a love child.
Scene One: The Unholy Opening
Kade appeared first. He leaned toward the camera, wearing a hoodie, messy hair, purple eyes and an expression that screamed, "I didn't sleep last night, and I'm proud of it"
"Yo, internet!" he shouted, waving dramatically. "Welcome to the most chaotic, unnecessary, and intellectually bankrupted corner of YouTube—where your IQ drops, but your happiness skyrockets.
My name's Kade. I'm your emotionally unstable tour guide through stupidity itself."
The camera panned to his left. Dr. Flex, wearing a white lab coat that definitely wasn't clean, adjusted his glasses with a suspiciously smug grin.
"I'm Dr. Flex," he said in a deep, mock-serious voice. "Certified doctor of nonsense, philosopher of chaos, and part-time life coach for people who already gave up.
My job is to give scientific explanations to things that don't need them."
From behind them, a feminine voice echoed, dripping with equal parts grace and threat.
"And I," she said, stepping into view with a slow, dramatic turn, "am Viviana."
She wore red lipstick, hoop earrings, and the calm confidence of someone who had survived both high school drama and K-pop stans.
She tilted her head slightly. "I'm here to make this channel look intelligent. Which is ironic, because these two couldn't spell 'intelligent' if you spotted them the first eight letters."
Kade gasped. "That's—wait, how many letters are in—oh… okay, fair enough."
Dr. Flex chuckled. "She's not wrong. I still spell 'Wednesday' with a cheat code."
Viviana rolled her eyes. "And this is why we're doomed."
******
Scene Two: The Mission Statement (sort of)
The camera zoomed out to show all three of them sitting at a table cluttered with mugs, half-eaten snacks, and what looked suspiciously like a broken globe.
Kade leaned forward dramatically. "Ladies and gentlemen, cats, aliens, people pretending to work, and students avoiding homework—welcome to the Chaos Channel.
Our mission is simple: we talk about everything."
Dr. Flex added, "And when we say everything, we mean everything.
Politics, pizza, socks, conspiracy theories about pigeons being government drones—if it exists, we'll discuss it."
Viviana raised a brow. "Except math. Math can stay in hell!"
"Agreed," said Kade and Flex in perfect unison.
Dr. Flex slammed a hand on the table. "But we don't just talk. We analyze, dissect, and ruin the topic completely until you can never take it seriously again!"
Viviana nodded. "Think of us as the Holy Trinity of Useless Wisdom."
"And slightly concerning opinions," Kade added. "Like, very concerning."
*****
Scene Three: Meet the Delinquents
Viviana sipped from her cup (which said 'Queen of Sarcasm') and crossed her legs.
"So, who are we really?" she said, smirking.
"Let's start with him—" she pointed at Kade. "the walking Wi-Fi problem."
Kade blinked. "Excuse me?"
"This man," she continued, "once tried to make toast in the microwave."
Kade raised a finger. "Okay, first of all, I was experimenting with thermal conductivity—"
Dr. Flex interrupted, laughing. "Bruh, you almost blew up the apartment".
Kade sighed dramatically. "Science demands sacrifices you know."
Viviana looked straight into the camera.
"That's Kade. Our chaotic neutral. He travels, complains, and occasionally drops wisdom so deep it confuses even himself."
"Thank you," Kade said, bowing slightly.
"Now, allow me to return the favor." He turned toward Dr. Flex.
"This here is Dr. Flex—our in-house mad scientist. He once tried to 'cure boredom' with electricity."
Flex raised his chin proudly. "It worked… on the toaster."
Viviana deadpanned. "You shocked yourself."
Flex shrugged. "That's called field testing."
The two men turned toward her.
"And this," Kade announced dramatically, "is Viviana—the woman who has never lost an argument because she either wins or convinces you that losing was your idea."
Flex nodded. "She once roasted a man so hard he deactivated his entire social media presence."
Viviana smiled sweetly. "I just asked him what he brought to the conversation besides carbon dioxide."
*******
Scene Four: The Disclaimer No One Asked For
The trio leaned forward at once, their faces filling the screen.
"Before we continue," Kade said, "we'd like to issue a warning to viewers."
Flex nodded. "Everything we say on this channel may or may not be scientifically correct."
Viviana added, "In fact, assume it's not."
Kade raised his hand. "We are not responsible for your emotional damage, relationship problems, or sudden urge to question reality."
"Side effects may include laughter, confusion, and occasional existential crises," Flex said.
Viviana smiled wickedly. "If you experience any of these symptoms, congratulations. You're one of us now."
The screen glitched with static for a second—on purpose, of course and their logo popped up:
"The Three Brain Cells: Think less. Laugh more."
*******
Scene Five: The Chaos Begins
Kade stretched back in his chair. "So, now that you know who we are, let's talk about why we're doing this."
Viviana shrugged. "Because therapy is expensive."
Flex laughed. "Because the world makes no sense, and someone has to commentate on the madness."
Kade nodded solemnly. "And because we needed an excuse to procrastinate our actual responsibilities."
They all raised their mugs. "To chaos!"
Viviana smirked. "And to the brave soul who clicked on this video. You didn't find us by chance. You were chosen."
Flex whispered ominously, "Chosen by the algorithm."
Kade leaned in close to the camera. "And now you can't leave."
Static again. Their laughter echoed like a cult initiation.
******
Scene Six: The Roast Intermission
"Alright," Kade said, cracking his knuckles. "Let's make it official. Everyone roast each other once before we end."
Viviana grinned. "Gladly. Kade looks like he buys energy drinks to feel emotions."
Flex nearly fell off his chair laughing. "Oh my God—"
Kade snapped back. "At least I have emotions, unlike you, Doctor Discount Tony Stark."
Viviana cackled. "He called you a Dollar Store Iron Man!"
Flex composed himself, smirking. "Okay, okay. My turn." He adjusted his imaginary tie. "Viviana, if confidence were Wi-Fi, you'd still be on airplane mode."
She froze for a second. Then smiled dangerously. "And if brains were muscles, you'd still be a jellyfish."
Kade jumped up. "OOOOHHH! Somebody call 911! There's been a murder!"
******
Scene Seven: The Audience Trap
The camera zoomed out. Confetti (or maybe crumbs) fell from above as the trio stood dramatically.
Kade: "Dear viewer, we welcome you to our world—"
Viviana: "—where logic goes to die—"
Dr. Flex: "—and humor commits tax fraud."
They all laughed.
Viviana pointed to the camera. "If you're here, you might as well stay. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll probably question why you still have Wi-Fi on."
Kade added, "We'll travel, argue, expose stupidity, and explore cultures respectfully… nah, mostly not."
Flex raised his mug again. "And by the end, you'll realize something very important."
He paused.
Kade whispered dramatically, "That none of us know what we're doing?"
Flex nodded. "Exactly."
********
Scene Eight: The Glorious Outro
The lights dimmed a little. Kade turned on some cheap LED strips, bathing the room in purple and blue chaos.
Viviana's voice softened. "To our viewers—old, new, and unwilling—you've just signed up for a journey of ridiculousness."
Kade smiled. "We'll argue about food, travel, school, jobs, humanity, love, and probably socks at some point."
Flex grinned. "And if you ever think our channel is too stupid—remember: that's the point."
The three of them leaned toward the camera one last time.
Viviana whispered, "Welcome to the family."
Kade added, "Welcome to the chaos."
Dr. Flex finished, raising a single finger. "And remember—"
Together, they shouted:
"When we say we talk about everything, we mean EVERYTHING!"
Cue the outro music: a loud, absurd mix of drums, laughter, and static.
Then, as the screen faded to black, a line of text appeared:
"This channel is not responsible for the damage caused to your brain. Viewer discretion is futile."
And somewhere, deep in the hearts of the audience, a single thought echoed—
"Oh no… I think I actually like these people."