"Cough cough..." Zhang Cai almost choked to death, hating Xu Guozhong to death. He thought to himself, "Xu Guozhong! You're my living father, my living ancestor! Yes! I'm just that damned! How many times have you caused trouble? Every time you're like Mu Guiying—you just can't let go, you always cause trouble for his mother and father!"
You're the real nemesis of mine, Zhang Cai! I don't think I'll be the village chief for long; you'll ruin me sooner or later! Zhang Cai really wanted to slap Xu Guozhong across the face twice!
Zhang Cai wasn't very educated; he didn't understand Chen Chu and Wang Yanan's couplet, but he did understand the bullshit poem Xu Guozhong was spouting. What did he mean by stepping in a pile of stinking dog poop, and it was even warm? Hmm? Zhang Cai's nose twitched; he sensed something was off. He glanced sideways and saw Wang Xiaoyan rubbing his shoes on the grass. The grass beneath his feet was trampled down and covered in yellowish-orange poop. Wang Xiaoyan even flicked his shoe, sending two splatters of poop onto Xu Guozhong's trouser leg. They were the only two people close by. (www.vm)
Zhang Cai felt dizzy and saw stars. He thought to himself, "You damn Wang Xiaoyan! You've ruined my life! You're always the one causing trouble! This deal is off today. Xu Guozhong, Wang Xiaoyan, you two bastards, wait until Wang Yanan leaves, and I'll see how I deal with you!"
Zhang Cai felt a foul odor enter his nostrils and quickly moved far away from the two people.
Chen Chu shook his head, and Shao Xiaohua coughed and laughed so hard he almost vomited up the tomatoes he'd just eaten. But thinking about it carefully, Xu Guozhong's answer was fairly fair, just too vulgar...
Wang Yanan laughed until her stomach hurt. After a while, she wiped away the tears from her laughter and actually liked the poem. What she wanted to say was about her ex-boyfriend. Because she had an inappropriate relationship with her superior and then got promoted, her boyfriend felt ashamed and left her.
Wang Yanan had cried and laughed, but both the crying and laughing were filled with sadness. On the contrary, she felt that Xu Guozhong was right. That man was a pile of dog shit! She had stepped in it, and it was actually hot shit! She didn't need to be sad over a pile of stinking dog shit; he wasn't worth it!
Pretending to be high-minded, pretending to be innocent—what right does a man with no money have to be high-minded? Those who can compose poetry are mostly well-fed and not hungry, like Daiyu burying flowers—purely because she had too much time on her hands. Otherwise, she wouldn't have starved for days, going hungry for days. Think of the Great Leap Forward in China, the years of exaggerated claims and steel production—how many people starved to death? Tens of millions! They couldn't even afford tree bark, let alone bury flowers! So it's all based on material things. Wang Yanan felt she was right…
On the contrary, Chen Chu's reply was very neat, but she didn't like it. "If your reply is so neat, how can it highlight my talent? Isn't that just annoying?" she thought. She admired Xu Guozhong, on the other hand; he was the perfect foil to showcase her literary talent…
"Hehe... Director Xu! You... hehehe, not bad, you're right too, it's just... it would be even better if you removed that 'damn it'..."
Wang Yanan thought to herself, "That dog shit is my ex-boyfriend, that scumbag..."
Shao Xiaohua then stepped in with a laugh to smooth things over, saying, "Yes, yes, yes! Director Xu, that's a metaphor, comparing..." She suddenly realized what she was comparing to dog poop. She couldn't think of anything for a moment, so she chuckled awkwardly and continued.
"Classical Chinese literature emphasizes artistic conception, but it also seeks to be appreciated by both the refined and the common. Our General Manager Wang's style is refined, while Director Xu's style is common. In other words, the most refined is the most common, and the most common is the most refined..."
Xu Guozhong was bewildered: "Big teeth? President Shao, what big teeth? You mean I have big teeth, right?"
Wang Xiaoyan shoved him and said, "Xu Guozhong, you're wrong. That girl didn't say 'big teeth,' why would she say 'your teeth'? She said 'uncle' (meaning 'big vulgar'), right? Your uncle is right here!"
Zhang Cai was stunned, thinking to himself, "Alright, you two dads, just shut up."
Seeing that Wang Yanan not only wasn't angry but seemed quite happy, Zhang Cai quickly tried to smooth things over, saying, "Oh, Ms. Wang, it's almost lunchtime. Let's go to the Dayangshu Restaurant and grab something to eat..."
"Oh dear, what time is it? Let me take another look. No rush. Besides, I've already seen our village. Don't mind me saying this, Village Chief Zhang, it's quite backward. We can't eat here; we can't add to the burden on the villagers. We'll go back to eat later." Wang Yanan said, then laughed again.
She thought to herself that these rural people were really interesting. They called "Da Ya" (大牙) "Da Su" (大俗) "Da Shu" (大叔). Although they were rustic and uncultured, they made her laugh until her face turned red and her stomach hurt. She felt that she hadn't laughed so happily in a long time.
"Oh dear, that won't do! We can't skip meals just to work, right? Let's set up a table at the Dayangshu Restaurant, all rural specialties: free-range chicken, wild mushrooms, stewed pork with vermicelli, scrambled eggs with persimmons—all organic food from our countryside, grown without chemical fertilizers..."
Wang Yanan couldn't refuse their hospitality, and considering she had a bowl of porridge that morning and had just eaten a persimmon that tasted delicious—far better than the ones sold in city supermarkets—she truly appreciated the natural flavors of the countryside. It was wonderful…
"Well... Village Chief Zhang, no need to spend money, just some simple wild vegetables from our village will do..."
Xu Guozhong chuckled and said, "President Wang, that won't do! How can we eat wild vegetables when you're here!"
Wang Xiaoyan chimed in, "That's right, wild vegetables are for feeding pigs! For pigs to eat!"
Wang Dasheng chuckled and said, "Yeah, even my pigs don't eat wild vegetables, how could I give them to you, Mr. Wang..."
Zhang Cai's heart, which had just been at ease, jumped again. He almost sat down on the ground, wishing he could strangle these guys. He looked back at Xu Guozhong, Wang Xiaoyan, and Wang Dasheng. One was tall and two were short. Wang Dasheng had somehow moved between the two of them. The three of them grinned at Wang Yanan and Shao Xiaohua, showing their big yellow teeth.
Forget about women, it could scare away even ghosts.
Zhang Cai almost called them "Dad," and went straight over to them, saying, "Wang Xiaoyan! Wang Dasheng! You two hurry up and go dig for wild vegetables, Boss Wang... Boss Wang wants to try some. Xu Guozhong! You go... go, go to the Dayangshu Restaurant to reserve a table, hurry up..."
Although the three were a little reluctant, they still listened to the village chief and happily went off to work. As Wang Xiaoyan walked away, he turned back to call out, "Mr. Wang, my family's mung bean field is the best..."
Zhang Cai hurriedly invited the two back to the brigade headquarters, and only then did he feel relieved. He secretly vowed that he would never let Xu Guozhong, that scoundrel, be brought along next time someone from above came!
However, there will be someone to accompany them for drinks during the meal. Liu Bingbing and Liu Haixia are not suitable. If it were a man, they would have to go and drink with him. But this time, it is a woman who is coming. Zhang Cai has been the village chief for many years and knows this very well.
If a woman comes, then a man has to step in. Even if it's disgusting, Xu Guozhong is better than Liu Bingbing. Liu Bingbing is so beautiful, and women are very jealous. This deal is definitely going to fall apart.
After thinking it over, Zhang Cai decided that he still needed to use that damned Xu Guozhong. He also called Township Head Liu and Town Head Zhou to have dinner together, not only to cultivate relationships with their superiors, but more importantly, because they were essential to this matter.
Firstly, the presence of the township head and town head shows that the matter is taken seriously, and the regional manager of Joyoung Group also feels valued and is in a good mood. Otherwise, it would seem as if a mere village head doesn't respect them.
Secondly, this can be considered a political achievement. When it comes to evaluating merits and awards at the end of the year, the credit will go to the township head and town head. This is the way of being an official. If you take credit for this, well, you won't be the village head next year. You'll be replaced immediately!
Zhang Cai wasn't very educated, but he knew how to conduct himself. He immediately called the town mayor and the township head to arrange for dinner to be served at ten o'clock.
Firstly, it wasn't mealtime yet, and secondly, the Dayangshu Restaurant needed to prepare a feast, especially the Gude'er Gongjiu that Xu Guozhong liked to drink. That stuff showed that they valued him, and regardless of whether the two women drank it or not, they couldn't skimp on the money...
With everything arranged, around 9:40, Zhang Cai started driving. Chen Chu sat in the passenger seat, while Wang Yanan and Shao Xiaohua, unable to refuse his invitation, sat in the back. They drove towards Dayangshu Restaurant, encountering Wang Xiaoyan and his son digging for wild vegetables along the way.
Actually, Zhang Cai had sent them away before sending him to dig for wild vegetables. He quickly slowed down and shouted at them, "Leave them in the village! Go back and pull up the weeds at the edge of the field, as it's a key area for our village..." In fact, Zhang Cai was just trying to get rid of them. Otherwise, if he had said he was going to eat at the Big Poplar Tree Restaurant, the father and son would have gone along to freeload.
Upon hearing this, Wang Xiaoyan hurriedly ran back.
"Phew..." Zhang Cai finally let out a breath and continued driving to the Dayangshu Hotel.
After getting out of the car, Zhang Cai first entered the private room and glanced around. He saw that Xu Guozhong's meal arrangement was quite good, with twelve different dishes, both cold and hot, solid and vegetarian, including soup and fish. It was indeed a feast for the eyes, nose, and palate.
But then I laughed. Xu Guozhong is only good at this kind of work. He's good at eating, but as for anything else... apart from his little schemes, everything else is nonsense.
Only then did Zhang Cai feel relieved and return to let Wang Yanan and Shao Xiaohua in, repeatedly urging them to take the seats of honor.
The two knew that the township head and town head would be coming soon, so they only sat on the side. Besides, this position was also suitable for women. It was not good for women to sit too centrally. Next to Chen Chu was Shao Xiaohua, and next to Wang Yanan was the town head.
Soon after, Mayor Zhou and Township Head Liu arrived. Although they were very tempted by the two women and really wanted to sleep with them, they also knew that these were the general agents of Jiuyang Group in the Hancheng area, and they wielded considerable power. This time, the task of purchasing two million catties of mung beans was not only to keep them all, but it would be good if even 100,000 catties were kept in Dayangshu Town. The grain in 2000 was not easy to sell, and the higher-ups were pressing for a solution. They had to find a way to ensure that the people's grain was not stuck in their hands, and they had to ensure that the price of grain for the people was not low. Whoever did this well would have a political achievement and could be promoted. Therefore, they flattered the two women. And indeed, the two women were beautiful.
After exchanging pleasantries, everyone took their seats. Xu Guozhong brought in Gujing Gongjiu liquor and poured wine for everyone. At this time, Dayangshu Restaurant offered a complimentary dish: wild dandelion, which is a newly sprouted dandelion. This is something to eat in spring. It is bitter but very nutritious. Although it was mid-October, there were still small dandelions in the wild, but they were hard to find. It would take quite a walk to dig them up to get this dish.
Wang Yanan and Shao Xiaohua were also somewhat moved as they ate.
The crowd kept toasting them. Both men were in sales and could hold their liquor. However, women tend to drink less, only taking a sip before the other man downed it. Xu Guozhong, on the other hand, was a heavy drinker. Besides, Gujing Gongjiu was very expensive, and he usually couldn't afford it. He'd rather spend that money on prostitutes. So, he drank like there was no tomorrow while eating and drinking. After downing a pound of liquor, Xu Guozhong started gesturing wildly and talking nonsense.
The atmosphere at a dinner party is all about the ambiance, and it's inevitable to crack jokes to liven things up. But when men drink, they usually talk about women, telling dirty jokes, and a group of guys laugh and have a good time. Then everyone signs the contract and reaches an agreement. Women are the same; they can also have fun discussing the size and length of men. But in this kind of setting, you can't make those kinds of jokes, since you're not familiar with them, and even if you were, you wouldn't go that far.
Chen Chu was at a loss for words. He wanted to tell a joke, but if he started talking about women, that would definitely not work.
At this moment, Xu Guozhong said unsteadily, "Let me tell you a joke..."
Zhang Cai dropped his chopsticks in fright. He wasn't afraid of other people talking, but he was terrified when Xu Guozhong told jokes.
The township head and town head both frowned. Town head Zhou said, "Old Xu, have you had too much to drink again? Sit down and eat slowly..."
"Hehe! Mayor, I know what you're thinking! You're probably afraid I'll tell a dirty joke, right? Don't worry, I'm not someone who doesn't know my limits, I won't say anything inappropriate..."
At this moment, Wang Yanan laughed: "Let Director Xu tell one, I want to hear a joke..." She also drank a glass of wine, more than two ounces of baijiu, and her face was a little flushed. She regarded Xu Guozhong as a clown and didn't think much of it. If it was a dirty joke, it would be perfect for making people laugh. No one else would dare to say it, only this guy would dare to make such a fuss...
Zhang Cai, the township head, and the town mayor were all at a loss. They stared at Xu Guozhong, afraid that he would spout nonsense again and cause the county head to flee like last time...
------------