Are you alright?"
Sasuke stared up. He would have thought that all the practice on his knees in front of Orochimaru would have made his knees used to it, but they hurt just the same, crashing down every minute in front of his brother. Slowly, he nodded, pushing his body to stand up, again.
As if he got points for trying.
Still, once again, he was pushing chakra into his eyes, the world bleeding red around the edges.
Itachi shook his head. "It's enough for today. Get some rest, otouto."
How weak did his brother really think he was? Sasuke had been trying his best, and he got it, his best was mediocre at best compared to his brother, but—he bit back a sigh, nodding as the Sharingan receded. "Have aßå good day, nii-san."
His brother disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Sasuke flopped down on the ground, staring up at the sky, faintly illuminated by the incoming sun's light. It would be hours before Megumi, Makoto, and Hana made it to the clearing; even Naruto was probably asleep at this time. Which was a silly thing to do because the third exam was coming up, and—well, what would Naruto do if Sasuke passed and he didn't? Who was he supposed to take the exams with afterwards? All of the students from their year had already made Chunin.
It couldn't be helped. With a sigh, he stood up, strolling through the clearing, only picking up the pace when he made it to the market. After the third vendor stopped him to ask about his brother, he opted for the roofs. Until he landed in front of Kakashi's doorstep, knocking once.
Twice.
The door opened before he could kick it down. The kick, though, landed on Kakashi's shin, who didn't disappear in a cloud of smoke, which was…nice at the moment. His Sharingan was uncovered, his hair and pants clearly indicating that he'd just woken up. Sasuke pushed his way inside the apartment. The apartment was clean, not a single dish in the sink, the bed made, and the table cleared. When he heard the door closing, he turned around.
"Who won the hide and seek?" He asked, as flatly as he could manage.
Kakashi raised an eyebrow at that and raised a finger to point at himself. "Why?"
"Naruto beat Hyuga in the first match, didn't he?"
Kakashi's eyes narrowed. "Yes, why?"
"Why wasn't he promoted, then?"
"I didn't see the fight, Sasu-chan, I was with you, remember?"
Sasuke stared. Obviously, he remembered, it was, honestly, the only thing he'd ever been late for anything, but he always sort of assumed that Kakashi had been in the meeting where the Fifth was discussing the promotions, along with the other senseis and proctors. Obviously, been promoted wasn't something he cared about, still really didn't—except for the Academy students, but he'd waved away his lack of promotion by telling himself that Kakashi had prevented his promotion because he hadn't listened to him about the curse mark and the spamming Chidori, considering that the proctor had already told him he was at Chunin level and asked him to chase enemy shinobi on his own.
But…Naruto had defeated a Hyuga and defeated a demon host on the same day, which seemed like something someone should be promoted over.
"You don't know why he wasn't promoted?"
Kakashi shrugged, "I imagine it had to do with his immaturity, or inability to think before attacking, or—"
"He saved you from the water prison in our first real mission."
"Yes, but that wasn't part of the Chunin exams," Kakashi said, moving towards the table, pulling back a chair. He remained standing, though. "Why are you asking?"
Sasuke glared, ignoring the question in favor of asking his own, "is he considered mature enough now?"
"Sit," Kakashi said, motioning at the chair he had pulled back. After a moment, Sasuke sat, on a different chair, staring up at Kakashi until he sat down as well. "Do you know the job of a Chunin on a mission?"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "To lead."
Kakashi hummed, nodding, though the hum didn't have the general annoying feeling to it that it normally did. It sounded…sad. "When the Fourth died, the Third Hokage decreed that no one who knew about Naruto could talk about Naruto," Kakashi began. "It was a classified secret that should have never made it to civilian's ears. As a matter of fact, the younger generation of shinobi shouldn't know about it at all—"
"They don't know," Sasuke said. "They just think he's dangerous."
"How do you suppose adults learned that a toddler was dangerous?"
Sasuke couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Obviously someone leaked the information, but what does—"
"Who do you think had access to that information and enough…caliber to get away after leaking said information to the entire village?" Kakashi hummed again and something ugly settled in Sasuke's stomach. "Whoever it was, probably had a chance to decide who made Chunin and who didn't. At the end of the day, Sasuke, how many people do you think would trust Naruto to lead them into a mission? Forget his lack of forethought when he isn't pushed into a tight corner, how can someone lead if no one trusts him to lead them?"
"Are you trying to tell me that my brother won't promote him, even if he should, because he has a demon sealed inside of him and no one likes him?" Surprisingly, he managed to keep himself from screaming—no, it was because he'd learned well enough from Orochimaru. "Genuinely, if promotions were a popularity contest, why did you ever become Chunin, let alone a Jounin?"
Kakashi chuckled under his breath. "As it happened, I was wildly talented when I was a kid, and we were at war. Promotions were harder to prevent back then, Konoha couldn't afford to be as picky, and for the record, that was a bad thing."
Sasuke crossed his arms. Essentially, Kakashi was saying that they needed to enter a war for Naruto to be promoted, and that was fucked up. "What kind of teacher encourages a student when they know they'll never be able to accomplish their goals?"
"Don't let Naruto hear you say that you don't think he's going to become Hokage."
"You're telling me he can't be promoted, regardless of what he does, and if he can't make Chunin, how could he ever become Hokage?"
Kakashi stood up, running his hands through his hair, as if that could do anything for his atrocious appearance. "I'm surprised at you, Sasu-chan. If Itachi Uchiha became Hokage, anything is possible, and no, before you try to murder me for slander, I'm just saying that up till a year or so ago, your brother was wanted dead, listed in all the villages' bingo books. Anything is possible."
Sasuke kept his face blank. Objectively, Kakashi wasn't wrong. But the Fifth really had done a good job at the public campaign to re-establish his brother's reputation, and his own, for that matter; sometimes, he still felt bad that his brother was lumped in with him. But for some reason, it worked. Somehow, though, he knew that it wouldn't work for Naruto. "All I heard is that I should start a war to get him promoted."
Kakashi hit him on the back of his head, hard, the impact almost making Sasuke smash his nose on the table, but he kept his face under control and even resisted the urge to rub at the site of impact.
"That's not funny," he said, his tone serious.
Sasuke turned to glare at him. If he was twelve, though, he would have maybe turned the glare somewhere else, because Kakashi looked furious. But he wasn't twelve. "And Naruto staying a Genin for something that isn't even his fault is?"
Kakashi stared at him, his Sharingan looking quite like his brother's. "If you are that concerned about it, maybe you can put more effort into training the Sharingan to suppress the nine tails. It would go a long way for many shinobi if they knew that someone was there to calm him down."
Instead of thinking about any of that, Sasuke pushed the chair back, scrapping it against the floor as loud as he could, and stood up. "You're going to be late for—"
Kakashi gripped his forearm. "Don't let me hear you make those types of jokes again, Sasuke."
He rolled his eyes. "I can assure you that however way you'll punish me, Orochimaru has done worse already. Are you going to leave me hanging from the ceiling while I choke or simply—"
"Did I make myself clear?"
Kakashi's grip on him was too tight to shake him off, and Sasuke wouldn't stoop so low as to try. "Let go before I return the favor and shove a fucking Chidori in your gut."
Kakashi grabbed his other wrist, yanking it towards his chest, right on top of his heart. "Right through here, Sasuke. Don't miss." Kakashi smiled, the same way he did when he told him that everyone dear to him was already dead.
Something hot was crawling up his throat, cutting off the air supply. Chakra was rushing towards his eyes, making the world bleed around the edges. An eyeless—no. He pulled his hand back, entirely aware that Kakashi let his wrist go. Why couldn't he stop his Sharingan from spinning?
Kakashi clicked his tongue. "Promises, promises…"
Sasuke punched his chest, as hard as he could, bringing his hand down before it could clasped around Kakashi's shirt. He drew in a deep breath when he finally pushed the chakra back and Kakashi lost the red tint. "If you don't want to hear me joking about starting a war, you shouldn't fucking joke about dying either!" Very carefully, he ignored the way his voice cracked at the end. Ignored it as well as he was ignoring the faces staring at him, without any eyes, without any life, without—
"Meh, Sasu-chan, you're the one who offered the Chidori," Kakashi said, releasing his forearm.
"It's not funny!" He took in another breath, stumbling backwards until his back was pressed against the wall, slipping down. It had to be his imagination, but the apartment's temperature plummeted, just like—like—he had to keep breathing. It hurt, but if he stopped, Naruto would die, too, and he couldn't do that to him. It was fine. Orochimaru was dead. It was fine. Kakashi might slap him a little, but he wouldn't drag him somewhere to murder innocent people or—or—
He felt a gentle nudge on his side. It was fine. He was fine. Everything was fine. Kakashi dragged him up to his feet. He was in Kakashi's apartment, inside Konoha, and it was fine, everything was fine. He felt as Kakashi ruffled his hair, but when he looked up, Orochimaru was staring at him, his lips contorted into a flat smile. Sasuke had enough sense to turn his attention to the ground. Kabuto was laughing to his right.
There was alcohol.
It reeked of alcohol, just like it did everytime someone disinfected his skin to—
Someone dragged him forward. There was a hand on the back of his neck. His face hidden away like that from the air, it didn't smell of alcohol anymore.
"Don't worry, Sasu-chan, next time I'll just have my hounds chase you around the village a couple of times instead." It was Kakashi's voice, sounding more soothing than any Jounin ever should. He cleared his throat, "Orochimaru and Kabuto are dead. You're okay."
Did his Sharingan remain activated? Did it matter? He couldn't tell anymore. More slowly than he would have liked, he pulled away from Kakashi, wiping his face, which was adequately dried, if anyone dared suggest otherwise. His throat was burning, and trying to clear it did nothing, but the apartment wasn't cold anymore and the smell of alcohol had faded. It was a win. For him.
He shook his head, managing to meet Kakashi's eyes for one second, before his brain realized that, yes, his bloodline was clearly activated, and it was much better to turn his attention to the ground. "I won't—"
Kakashi shushed him. "I know. I won't either."
Something hot flushed across his cheeks. "I fucking hate you," he muttered, under his breath, though Kakashi probably heard him, and then stomped outside of the apartment, making sure to slam the door as hard as he could on his way out.
It took less than he liked to make his way to his clearing, spotting Naruto sparring with one of his clones. Sasuke shouldn't be surprised, he really should have always known how hypocritical Konoha was, and he should be better and not caring, because at the end of the day, it wasn't his business, nor did it affect him, but it was messed up that Naruto might not be promoted only because he was a demon host. But…his brother wouldn't let that happen, would he? At the end of the day, Itachi must know that Naruto wanted to protect the village as much as he did, if only to prove his worth to them.
When he was fifteen meters behind Naruto, the clone disappeared, and Naruto turned around.
So much for ever sneaking behind him ever again.
"Thought you wouldn't have shown up to get your ass kicked."
If he tossed the competition, would that be enough? No, he wasn't an idiot. His brother's reputation would be on the line during his own match and Sasuke wasn't an awful enough person to tarnish it, more than he already had. Biting back a sigh, he motioned behind him, away from the center of the village. "Come on."
Naruto looked around, his eyebrow furrowing. "Are you scared someone is going to see me wipe the floor with you?"
A little, but not for the reason that Naruto probably thought. Sasuke offered a smirk, watching, slightly horrified, but quite amused, that it appeared to rile Naruto up, just like it always had. He gave his back to him and jumped on the nearest tree, running deeper into the forest. A glance back confirmed that Naruto was right behind him. They ran until Sasuke was sure that the nine tails wouldn't be able to damage any of the residential areas, and then, he jumped to the ground, waiting until Naruto appeared in front of him.
Biting back a sigh, Sasuke activated the Sharingan. "I'll let you throw the first punch, loser."
Naruto did.
Forty minutes later, his eyes remained blue and his butt was on the ground.
Sasuke wasn't trying to congratulate him on his self-control, though. "You just reminded me why I joined him. I'm so glad I was his student, I just wish I still had his curse mark on me. You would be stronger if Orochimaru was the one who trained—"
Naruto disappeared in a sea of orange chakra. Sasuke dodged the incoming attack, his Sharingan catching as Naruto disappeared, morphing into a bloodied monster with white eyes, and four tails sprouting from his back. It flashed in front of him. Without the Sharingan, Sasuke would have been decapitated. As it were, four trees crashed against the ground.
The unfortunate thing, clearly, was that when he was training with his brother, Itachi wasn't trying to rip his head clean from his body.
But it couldn't be helped. Sasuke pulled his chakra to his hand, pushing a Chidori through one of the tails. The demon flashed in front of him, pushing him into the ground. His Sharingan spun.
It was dark. Sasuke stood up, spotting a cage, red chakra pouring out of it. He suspected that entering Naruto's unconsciousness wasn't the hard part and he'd been right, but he tempted the nine tails out, and now that he was there…he had to push it back, whatever it took. He walked closer, dutifully ignoring as the chakra on the ground formed into a gigantic claw. From the deep darkness of the cage, gigantic eyes emerged, accompanied with fangs.
At least the demon remained inside the cage.
How much of his own chakra would it take to disperse him?
What a joke. It was obviously more than he had. But it didn't matter, Kakashi said that if he could do this, then maybe Naruto might possibly be promoted.
"Another Uchiha, uh? I'm honored by so many visitors."
Back in the Forest of Death, Sasuke had genuinely thought that Orochimaru was a demon, but…standing in front of a real demon, whose laughter chilled his very core, Orochimaru had been nothing more than a kid throwing a tantrum.
"Do you believe that you're strong enough to hold me back?"
Sasuke was an idiot, clearly. "Obviously."
A snout materialized. "Don't be incredulous, Uchiha. Do you think I've kept you alive from the goodness of my heart?"
Sasuke pushed more chakra into his eyes. His body would have swayed, but he had, at least, plenty of practice staying upright. He raised his arm. Any more chakra to his eyes and they might as well burst, but it couldn't be helped. "I don't know what you're talking about," he gritted out.
The laughter grew weaker. "Ah, my Sharingan—"
Alcohol. In the air. Sasuke jerked awake, staring at the white ceiling overhead. Everything around him was white. He landed himself in the hospital, like the absolute idiot that he was. Biting back a sigh, he made to sit up.
Something pulled down—his wrists were restrained to the bed, along with his ankles. A…he took a deep breath, turning his eyes away from the long needle sticking out of his hand as he did his best to continue to breathe, and to ignore the stupid machines reading his vitals.
The door opened. Sakura, wearing a hospital gown, walked in, holding a clipboard in her hand. Her eyes widened, probably in surprise, at finding him awake. She promptly turned to the machine, jotting down some scribbles on her clipboard.
He cleared his throat. "Why am I restrained?"
"Hokage's orders," Sakura replied. Something constricted around Sasuk's throat, but Sakura, thankfully, wasn't looking at him. "I need to take your temperature. Don't you dare knock me out for doing my job or I'll blindfold you when I wake up."
Sasuke rolled his eyes, tugging at his restraints a little more aggressively. The needle was protruding from his skin, pushing in a clear liquid into his body that—that probably wasn't—someone, or Sakura, it was Sakura grabbed him by the chin, promptly shoving a thermometer in his mouth.
Sasuke activated the Sharingan, but before he could turn it to Sakura, she wrapped a cloth around his head, covering his eyes, and the Sharingan, and the light, surrounding him in worse darkness than the one surrounding the nine tails' cage. He tried to spit the thermometer out of his mouth, but the only thing that he managed was for Sakura to grab the back of his head and keep the stupid thing inside his mouth. Until the beep, loud and annoying, went off, and Sasuke could spit it out.
He didn't need a thermometer to tell him that he didn't have a fever.
He heard Sakura walking out, leaving him with his eyes covered, the machine tracking his heartbeat the only sound in the room, feeling as the IV drip kept forcing a liquid into him. It was his imagination, obviously, but he could feel it coursing through his veins, hot and sticky and painful.
A hand pulled down the makeshift blindfold. Sasuke glared up, only to find two Sharingan eyes—his brother's eyes staring him down, Itachi's impeccable mask barely containing indisputable anger and…worry. Sasuke turned his attention to the window.
"Why?" It sounded like the question was difficult to ask.
"I'm sorry, nii-san."
"I don't want an apology, Sasuke, I want an explanation."
"For what?"
The bed shifted with his brother's weight. Itachi pulled his face to force him to look at him, tilting his head up to maintain eye contact. Sasuke remembered to breathe even as his stomach constricted at the sight of the red eyes.
"Naruto brought you to my office unconscious. You've been unconscious for five days. You weren't ready to do that, you know that, don't you?"
But clearly it worked. In truth, Sasuke had no idea how it had worked, but it had. That was a good thing, for everyone involved. "I'm not sure—"
"Sasuke, as your brother, I was worried about you. I am still worried about you, but as the Hokage, I am utterly disappointed in you. You had no reason to encourage Naruto to lose control like that, especially over a silly sparring session, especially so close to the village." When Sasuke tried to move his head away, Itachi tightened his grip. "Explanation, Sasuke. Now."
Somehow, he could tell that the machine bearing his heart out for everyone in the hospital to hear, was louder than it should be, his heartbeat quicker than it had any right to be in this situation, just staring at Itachi's Sharingan in a hospital bed. It was fine. But what explanation could he provide? He wasn't going to tell him what Kakashi told him. He wasn't going to make it sound like Naruto couldn't control the demon, or that the seal was apparently weaker than even Itachi realized.
"It was my fault," he heard himself say. It wasn't even a lie. "I know you've been working hard training me and I wanted to show you that I have been making progress. I'm sorry…I tried to take him far away from the village and—"
"Sasuke, Naruto isn't there for you to toy with him. Going into the four tails burns his skin off and it cuts years from his life. As a matter of fact, it could have burned your skin off too! Were you thinking about that? Any of that?"
The look on his brother's face indicated that he also hadn't thought about that, either. But it was true. Why wouldn't his own skin have burned off? Had…had he broken his connection with Naruto?
Sasuke?" Itachi's voice was dead.
Eventually, he managed to shake his head, despite the fact that his brother was still holding his chin. "I wasn't thinking about any of that." He sighed, "I'm sorry for putting the village in danger so recklessly." And hurting Naruto on top of everything else. At least he wasn't stupid enough to tell his brother why he'd done it.
Itachi's eyes, if possible, darkened more. "You and Naruto are not to spar again unless I'm supervising. Do you understand?"
"Yes." It was easier to stare at the bedsheets after his brother moved away. "Are…is he okay?"
"He's fine, Sakura discharged him within the first hour."
Lucky him. That was nice. Better than whatever was going on with him. The cuffs weren't tight, which was fortunate, but they were keeping him on the bed against his will, and that was…unfortunate. He should have seen it coming, though, because his brother had about told him that if Sasuke ever ended up in the hospital, he would be restrained. Of course, Itachi had also said that—no, it didn't matter. He was an idiot and it made complete sense that he'd be tied to the bed, even made sense that Sakura blindfolded him, considering that he had a habit of knocking her out every time they were in the same room together.
When he was positive he could keep his voice flat, he glanced up, "are you going to keep me restrained like this forever?"
"Of course not, Sasuke," Itachi said. "Sakura is coming to take the IV drip out and then I'll remove the restraints. I'm…sorry I tied you like this in the hospital, otouto."
He shook his head, quickly. "No, it's okay, nii-san, I understand why you'd have to and it wasn't your fault. I know you were just worried that I was going to rip the needle out and jump out the—"
He shut his mouth when the door opened, Sakura walking in, still with the same clipboard. "He's ready to go home, Hokage-sama," she said, handing the clipboard to his brother. "His vitals have been stable and other than keeping an eye on his chakra levels, there are no special instructions to send him home. I just need your signature to discharge him."
Sasuke tried not to stare too much as yes, his brother also accepted a pen from Sakura, his eyes scanning over the discharge papers, as if Sasuke hadn't been discharging himself from the hospital—when he wasn't avoiding the place or jumping out the window to run from it—since he was seven. Very carefully, he kept that thought away from his face, though; still, just stared quietly as his brother returned everything to Sakura and then she took the needle out of his arm, without making him wince, and then excused herself, without looking at him.
A little rude because obviously, Sasuke wouldn't knock her out when he was already in so much deep water with his brother, the Hokage, but whatever, it wasn't like Sasuke really cared. The only things he cared about were that there was nothing inside of him anymore and that maybe, his brother would forgive him.
Two minutes later, Sasuke was free from the bed. "Are you—"
"Yes, I'm going back to the office." Itachi turned to look at him. "Sasuke, please just…exercise some prudence."
Sasuke managed to nod. And almost jumped out of the window, but that wasn't really exercising prudence, even a little bit, so instead, he changed clothes, resisted the urge to burn the hospital gown, and left through the door, down the stairs, and out the main door. When he was in the street, he promptly made his way to the roof of the hospital. He paused, checking himself over, but everything felt fine, so he jumped onto the next one, and the next one, until he made it to their apartment.
He expected…someone, probably Kakashi, to be inside the apartment, loitering around, maybe pretending to cook, but the kitchen was empty and so was the living room. He swung the bathroom door open, but no one was there. His bedroom was empty. When he made his way to his brother's bedroom, and conjured up the courage to open the door, he found it empty, too. The ugly feeling in his chest was not unlike what he felt every single fucking time he walked through his government-issued home after the massacre, which was absolutely ludicrous because that time, he'd lost his entire family.
He hadn't lost anyone, or anything, this time around. His brother was working, and he'd just seen him in the hospital. He was just being an idiot. Still, he couldn't stop his hand from grabbing his pen, tugging up his sleeves upward. The turtles remained there, fading, but sticking to his skin.
This was stupid.
I'm home, he wrote, on his forearm, with his stupid, slanted handwriting.
The minutes dragged on.
When the hotness from his throat was making his way to his eyes, Sasuke yanked the sleeve down. It's not like this wasn't exactly what he wanted ever since that day he woke up with that stupid list of ramen places. And anyway, at least now, he was, once again, appropriately, only responsible for his own life. And that was a good thing. Obviously.
After putting on gloves, he strapped his katana to his back, and slipped out the window. By the time he made it to the cliffs where he'd learned the Chidori, the annoying hotness had receded and he was feeling fucking fantastic.
And at the very least, he could train adequately here.
Hours later, it was impossible to decide if the sky darkened naturally, or the black clouds overhead were a product of his fireballs. His katana was stuck to the ground exactly one meter North of the top of his head, and if he forced down lightning now, he'd be at the point of impact. Before he'd known the truth about Itachi, he'd made the jutsu to murder him, and had hoped that it would have been a painful death, but now that he was standing under those same clouds…wouldn't a quick death be even better? A painful death meant a slow death, to make the body actually feel itself wasting away, but with a quick death, there was no pain involved. And honestly, after the considerable amount of pain he'd experienced, he would much prefer to kill him—to die quickly and painlessly.
A rain droplet fell on his forehead. Another one. He lifted his arm in the air, catching a few drops on his hand.
Had death always been so tempting? He chuckled softly as he watched a small Chidori forming on his hand. Maybe he'd latched so much to the idea of killing his brother to fight off the urge of dying. Had latched on to the way that Naruto would die too. But now, without either of those things, the thought of dying wasn't bad. It wasn't particularly good either, but honestly, what was he even living for? His brother would be fine without him, Itachi had been fine for years without their entire clan already, and Sasuke had already avenged them.
Would it work without the Sharingan? Did it matter? No, if it didn't work, he'd try again, and if it did work, well, then it was fine. Besides, he much preferred not having chakra pulsing behind his eyes at the moment. He closed them, feeling as his chakra cracked through the air. He should have heard the lightning crash against the ground, or—okay, maybe not heard it, if he wasn't alive anymore, but he clearly was sill alive because he was still breathing.
A grip brought him to his feet.
"What—"
Kakashi. His forehead protector pushed up, blood spilling from his half-closed eye. The grip on Sasuke's arm loosened, but only because Kakashi was falling forward. Sasuke caught him before he crashed against the ground. He scrambled to check his pulse, finding some comfort when he felt it, under his skin, weak, but there.
"Karin's coming." Pakkun. Kakashi's dog, who had probably tracked him down, for some reason that Sasuke would eventually figure out. "Let's meet her halfway."
Sasuke threw Kakashi over his shoulder, finding some comfort in a small groan that came from him because he couldn't feel his pulse anymore, but that was only because his wrists were far away, and Sasuke had thankfully never learned Orochimaru's jutsu to stretch his limbs, and that was a very good thing, even if right now, he couldn't feel Kakashi's pulse, but that was fine because a dead person didn't make small pained, tired sounds. Like Kakashi was doing as Sasuke jumped down the cliffs, following Pakkun who was obviously very smart and was tracking Karin down while Karin was tracking him down and—
He needed to get a grip on himself.
Kakashi was fine. In only a few minutes, Karin would replenish Kakashi's chakra, and then Kakashi would summon his hounds to chase Sasuke around Konoha a few thousand times. All of which was better than not feeling Kakashi's pulse. Which he couldn't feel anymore because his wrists were far away, and Sasuke had thankfully never learned Orochimaru's jutsu to stretch his limbs, and that was a very good thing, even if right now, he couldn't–
He really needed to get a grip on himself. Kakashi was only exhausted after, rather stupidly, evaporating chakra-infused lightning into thin air, even though a week ago, he couldn't even handle five stupid shurinken, and Kakashi told him that Naruto wasn't promoted because he didn't know how to think? That was–
Pakkun jumped to the ground, and he followed, landing in front of Karin. Who had enough sense to notice that Kakashi was an idiot and unconscious and exhausted because once he was on the ground, she brought her wrist to his lips. Except he was passed out and how was he supposed to bite down to replenish his chakra that he so stupidly wasted away for no apparent reason?
Sasuke kicked him on the side, underneath his ribs. He ignored the look that Karin sent him because the impact had been enough to make the idiot groan and that had been enough to get Karin's wrist past his lips and that was a good thing. Because maybe, just maybe, his body wouldn't simply give up due to the lack of chakra.
It was a good thing. Kakashi was fine. Everything was fine. He hadn't accidentally killed Kakashi and that was great, that was a good thing.
It felt like hours before Kakashi opened his eyes. When he did, Sasuke kicked him harder on the side, right underneath the ribs because what the fuck? Kakashi managed to turn his attention to him, and Sasuke saw the way his chest rose with a deep sigh, like he had been worried about someone other than himself. Which was stupid because he almost died. From chakra exhaustion. Because he was an idiot. But instead of beating him up, Sasuke's body helped him to a sitting position, his eyes focusing on the rising and failing of his chest as he took deep breaths to bring the color back to his face.
"What happened?"
Before Sasuke could answer, Kakashi spoke, "my old age is finally catching up to me."
The thing was that those words weren't a lie, strictly speaking, because even his voice was quiet, as if it was taking enormous amount of energy to talk, but it was enough of a lie for Kakashi to be risking his career, again, for an old student who almost killed him.
"Are you okay, Kakashi-senpai?"
"I'll be fine," Kakashi said. "Please let Hokage-sama know that we'll be back for dinner time."
Surprisingly, Karin just nodded, sparing Sasuke a quick a glance that betrayed nothing except her own disappointment, probably, at being dismissed, and disappeared into the trees. It took a minute for Kakashi to stand up, and another minute to turn his attention to Sasuke.
Sasuke would have met his gaze, except for the fact that dry blood was smeared on his cheek, and the floor was cleaner than his face.
"I'm glad you're okay." Kakashi's voice was clearer now. "And—"
"That I'm okay?" He asked, staring up at him. His cheek was clean. Which was nice because it made it easier to glare. "You're a fucking moron! If you're not strong enough to deal with five, tiny, flying projectiles aimed at your head, why would you think that you are strong enough to deal with lightning?"
Kakashi…shrugged. Which was honestly not the right thing to do. "Meh, Sasu-chan, obviously, I wasn't thinking."
"You're supposed to be able to think! You're the Hokage's advisor, you shouldn't have done that!"
"You were—"
"It doesn't matter what I was doing. And whatever I was doing, it's none of your fucking business, anyway. I was training! And you came and ruined everything, just like you always do. Why do you keep butting into my life?"
Kakashi stared at him. "Because I care about you and I care about Naruto and I care about your brother. But if you don't like that explanation, then it's because you are a Genin still; as a matter of fact, you are my Genin, so your well-being is my responsibility. Once you make Chunin, then maybe I'll consider not butting into your life, but to be a Chunin, you need to be able to think rationally and not let your emotions consume you, so it seems that you'll be stuck being my Genin for a little while longer."
Something was pressing down on his chest. "You're so stupid. I haven't been your student in fucking—"
"Now," Kakashi continued, as if he couldn't see that Sasuke was seconds away from punching him in the face, "would you like to have a very long conversation about how you almost died, presumably on purpose, here or back in your apartment?"
Sasuke rolled his eyes and shoved him and turned on his heels, about to jump on the nearest tree, far away from the stupid situation he had unfortunately walked into, except a hand gripped the back of his collar.
"Running away isn't an option, Sasu-chan."
"Fuck off."
Kakashi hummed. "Here I thought you were slightly more mature than you were at thirteen. Seriously, Sasuke. If you don't want to talk about why you almost killed yourself, we're still going to talk about why you almost killed Naruto."
"I didn't almost kill him!" Sasuke glared. "And again it's not your fucking business!"
Kakashi yanked his arm closer to him, dragging a kunai from his pouch. "Pull your sleeve down."
Sasuke rolled his eyes, but obliged, only to have the satisfaction of Kakashi seeing the message from earlier, without any reply. The smugness in his chest wasn't enough to stop the…other useless emotion. But it was fine because at least he knew his face was under control. It continued to be under control as Kakashi dragged the kunai across the skin—
Though—
Though admittedly, his expression faltered a little bit at the sight of the familiar, orange chakra following the path of the kunai, leaving only a thin raised scar on his skin. "I—"
"Next time you think of killing yourself, please stop to check if your life is still connected with Naruto's. I know he says that he will die with you so you're not alone in death, which sweet, I suppose, but it is sweeter if maybe you two just stayed alive and didn't die, hm?"
Sasuke pulled his arm away, his attention fixed on the ground. Had he just–well, why wouldn't his skin burn off then? And why didn't Naruto–
"He's with Jiraiya-sama," Kakashi said. "Training outside of the village. Yes, he had to be dragged out. Yes, he is a little upset that you'd bait him like that. Yes, he is more worried about the fact that you'd say that stuff, not so much that you were purposely weakening the seal. Yes, he said when he came back he was going to kick your butt." Kakashi pushed him towards a nearby tree. "Now that we've cleared all that, let's talk."
Kakashi didn't push him hard enough to force him to sit down, but Sasuke's butt landed on the ground, his back leaning against the tree, regardless. He felt a squeeze on his shoulder, but there just wasn't much energy to move away. Why was he such an idiot? He was always an idiot. He could have fucking gotten Naruto killed, just because—because he was too impatient for him to write back. He was so fucking stupid.
And the same hot thing was beginning to make his way up his throat. He cleared it, "you pretend you're so eager to talk, but we both know you don't really want to talk about anything with me."
"That's not true anymore," Kakashi said. "Even back then, I wanted to be there for you, but I didn't know how; I just assumed that you were like me and I didn't want to think about the possibility that you were not. But I can do better now, Sasuke."
"I wasn't trying to kill myself, Kakashi," he mumbled. Lied. It didn't matter. "It was an accident–"
"Sasuke."
"I'm not having this conversation with you. It doesn't matter, anyway, now that I know that…it'll hurt him, too." He had almost been such an idiot. He was an idiot. And here he was so worried about Naruto not being promoted when very clearly, he wouldn't be either; so much for the Academy students and his brother's reputation. He shifted closer to the tree. He'd been such a fucking idiot. "Thank…you for saving him."
"You're welcome. Who else are you glad I saved?"
Instead of humoring that question, Sasuke turned his attention to the other side, away from Kakashi. The silence was not as uncomfortable as it could have been and he had no reason to break it, other than he was an idiot. "Are you…going to tell my…my brother?"
"Not if you don't want me to," Kakashi responded.
Sasuke swallowed the scream. "Karin–"
"We'll just tell him that we sparred and I'm obviously too old for it."
"You…don't have to, Kakashi."
There was the usual hum. "I know." Kakashi sighed, "but we're not done talking about–"
"I'm not having this conversation with you," he spat out. "Rat me out to my brother if you want, I don't fucking care."
"You matter to people, Sasu–"
"Shut up."
"Not just your brother or me or Naruto. According to Iruka-sensei, the second years made a schedule to wait at the hospital so that at least three kids were always there in case they were allowed to see you again. Those three kids you were teaching tree walking even tried to make it pass security by putting on a rather elaborate show of juggling and when it's not their hospital shift, they train in the same clearing every day. They bring an extra bento box every day in case you show up."
Sasuke, very pointedly, shifted to give his back to Kakashi, pulling his knees closer to his chest. What did he even think he was going to do with that information? Lament the fact that he was actively setting a bunch of toddlers for unimaginable pain eventually? None of them were strong enough to protect themselves, let alone each other. Even Naruto wasn't strong enough to protect himself, even if that was largely because he was attached to an idiot.
"You can leave."
There was a groan. "Sasu-chan, I'm too exhausted to leave."
Sasuke glanced over his shoulder. Kakashi was resting his head on the tree, staring at him with his normal eye, the Sharingan thankfully covered now. One leg was pulled back, his elbow resting on it.
"It's almost dinner time."
"We still have an hour or so." Kakashi nudged him. It didn't feel like he was exhausted. "Do you feel better?"
"I'm not the idiot who depleted my chakra for no reason. I know you feel bad or whatever for almost killing me that time, Kakashi, but you can't convince me that you honestly enjoy acting this way."
Kakashi hummed. "I'm sorry for the impression I gave you when you were younger, Sasu-chan, but I do enjoy being there for people who are important to me."
"I can't be important to you."
"We can go around circles all you want, but you are. Regardless of how much you want to fight it, or how scared you are to hear that someone other than your brother, or Naruto, might care about you, you are very important to me, Sasuke. Maybe it's time to get that through your thick skull."
Sasuke rolled his eyes, turning away from him again. Until it was dinner time. Kakashi thankfully had enough chakra to make his way to the village, even jumping onto the roofs to avoid the civilians. And then they were in front of the apartment. Kakashi walked inside and Sasuke followed him inside. Kakashi nudged him in the direction of the kitchen, until he was standing in front of the fridge. Sasuke stared, but Kakashi was very pointedly blocking the way out of the kitchen.
He opened the fridge, filled to the brim with containers, labels on the side, with handwriting that looked exactly like eight-year-olds' handwriting should look like. He heard Kakashi rummaging through some drawers, but he couldn't drag his attention away from the fridge and…the second-years' care packages. He let Kakashi pull him away from the fridge, only to be handed a stack of folded papers. The one at the very top had Hana's writing, small and slanted to the right, wishing him a speedy recovery. When he unfolded it, he found a picture of Makoto, Megumi, and Hana, helpfully labeled, at the top of a giant tree, their hands cheering up in the air; underneath the tree, there was a picture of himself, also helpfully labeled, with a gigantic thumbs up; off to the side, Iruka-sensei appeared to be flying with an enormous smile on his face.
His cheeks grew warmer, but he had the decency to turn away from Kakashi, sure that his bangs covered the offending color. He set the rest of the papers down and turned to the fridge again. Clearly, there wasn't any need to cook dinner for at least a couple of twenty days. He took out one of the containers from the top, labeled Satoshi with a happy face next to it, with barbecued meat marinating inside of it. A lot of it, in fact. It would suffice for all three of them, he only needed to make the rice.
He was putting it in the stove to warm up when he heard the door opening, his brother walking inside, but he made his way down the hallway. The shower turned on a second later.
"He's just stressed," Kakashi said, before Sasuke's thoughts could really start spinning. "Nothing food won't fix, Sasu-chan."
Despite the fact that he very much did not want to lean into the circles that Kakashi was rubbing on his back, there was some comfort in the motion that he hated, but he couldn't help. It was at least a little messed up that his old teacher liked him better than his brother at the moment, but…how could his brother like him? He single-handedly almost got the nine-tails to destroy the village.
"Do you want me to go home?"
Sasuke turned to glare at him. Thankfully, Kakashi understood the wordless, embarrassing message, because he took two plates to the dining table. Sasuke grabbed the last one. As if on cue, Itachi came out, no longer looking like the Hokage, just someone with deep bags underneath his eyes.
Maybe one day, if Sasuke stopped being a coward, he would ask Kakashi how he stayed put after the glare that Itachi sent his way. But today, he was a certified coward, and an idiot, so the only thing he did was stare down at his plate of food, eventually managing to finish it.