When he opened his eyes, Orochimaru was staring down at him, with the same slimy smile that he always had whenever he thought of a particularly enticing way to punish him. For a moment, Sasuke even considered closing his eyes again, pretend to be unconscious, if only for a minute more. But conscious or not, whatever punishment was awaiting him, it would happen regardless.
Very carefully, he bit down on his lower lip as he pushed himself to his knees. Orochimaru tugged on his hair, until Sasuke was baring his neck to him, the blankest expression that he could manage on his face.
"I'm terribly disappointed in you, Sasuke-kun." Orochimaru's whisper came from behind him, forcing him to straighten his back, despite the fact that Orochimaru was standing in front of him. "Who do you think you are to prevent my curse mark from activating?"
Had his brother not removed the curse mark? His brother was back in Konoha, where he should be, away from the mess that was his little brother's life. When would he have ever removed—
There was a deep sting on his cheek. Was that his blood on the floor? His eyes trailed downward, a kunai was lodged into his side. Bleeding.
"I don't like the look in your eyes."
The Sharingan wasn't even activated. Sasuke kept his eyes down, fixed on the ground. There was a dull pain spreading from his knees, but if Orochimaru wanted to keep him there for days, there was nothing to do, except—
"Maybe you need another trip downstairs."
Somehow, he should have stopped the shuddering in his breath. Even with his eyes on the ground, he could see the smirk spreading across Orochimaru's face. "I''m sorry, Orochimaru-sama," he began, not entirely sure what he was apologizing for, but knowing well enough that it was crucial he did so. "I've been…good."
"No, you've been obedient," Orochimaru said. "I'll decide if you've been good." His fingers traced the curse mark. "How can you think you've been good if my curse mark hasn't activated?"
But the curse mark was gone—wasn't it? His brother had…Itachi was in Konoha, away from this mess, just as Sasuke had asked him to be. It was a good thing.
His back straightened with the familiar surge of chakra; a second later, two of Orochimaru's clones dragged him to his feet, across the training room, away from his own cell, towards—towards—towards—
Sasuke sat up, his hand flying to his neck, digging at the skin until he could feel the nine tails' chakra swimming across the nail marks. Though the forest's floor was hard, it was comforting, much better than Orochimaru's floor.
"Nightmare?"
Sasuke shook his head. Quite a nightmare to lose his bearings and forget that he was in the middle of the Forest of Death, for the third time in his life, unable to even detect Naruto's chakra besides him. He took a couple of breaths as he stood up, turning his attention to Naruto.
Naruto was putting his jacket on, fumbling with the zipper like it was the first time he was dressing himself. Without the forehead protector, his bangs fell almost to his eyes. And despite they were in the middle of an exam, Ramen nowhere in sight, there was a stupid smile on his face.
"Where's Karin?"
"She wanted to go fishing," Naruto responded. "I was going to wake you up to go with her, but you looked like you needed some sleep. Until, you know," Naruto shrugged, "you started mumbling."
Thankfully, he was an expert at keeping his face empty, at least in front of Naruto. "What was I mumbling?" He asked, as if his heart wasn't beating wildly against his chest.
Naruto's smile grew softer, something in the back of his eyes darkening. He punched Sasuke in the shoulder, hard enough to bruise. "Doesn't matter, does it?" He asked, swinging his arm again—except this time, Sasuke avoided the punch. "You're not there anymore."
It was a sweet sentiment, and quite true, as the Forest of Death was clearly inside of the village, which now happened to be under Itachi's protection, and yet, regardless of all that information, Sasuke continued having nightmares every time he so much as closed his eyes. Apparently, returning to the place he first met Orochimaru had been a terrible idea, who would have guessed it?
He clutched his shoulder tighter. "She went fishing?"
"Yeah."
"In the middle of the exam?"
Naruto shrugged. "No one is going to be able to sneak up on her. Plus, we decided that staying out here was better than waiting for five days in that stupid, boring waiting room."
Sasuke bit back a sigh. No one who was truly a Genin would ever be able to sneak up on Karin, but it wasn't as if the exam was strictly for Genin-level shinobi. With a roll of his eyes, he jumped onto the nearest tree, Naruto following close behind—
Until he jumped in front of him, blocking his path.
"Karin's fine, Sasuke, you should relax, at least a little."
"I'm not worried about her," Sasuke responded.
Naruto chuckled under his breath, grabbing his shoulder and turning him around. "You've been on edge ever since Kakashi-sensei gave us the application—"
For some stupid reason, Sasuke followed him to the ground. For the record, it was entirely possible that he'd been "on edge", whatever that meant, for much longer than a week ago, when Kakashi-sensei dropped by Naruto's apartment, where Sasuke was baking cookies, like a fucking idiot, because he'd believed that Naruto was going to help him, instead of hovering by the fridge, with a stupid pen in his hand, and a sea of turtles doodled up to their elbow.
Sasuke had told all of Iruka-sense's students that he would be gone for about a week, to pass the second exam, and they all wished him good luck, and that had perhaps been the worst thing in the world for them to do because now, if he failed, little eight-year olds would be sad. As someone who was a very sad eight-year old, that thought alone might have put him on edge. That, and being back, to where Orochimaru could have killed him, could have killed Naruto, and would have killed Sakura was enough, apparently, to be having nightmares in the middle of the Forest of Death.
"And I'm…worried about you."
He managed to roll his eyes. "There's no need for that."
Sasuke crashed against the ground, a punch landing in the middle of his shoulder blades.
"You fucking bastard!" Naruto's words were joined by punches on his back, which hurt, and must be hurting him just as much. "I'm so sick of your stupid attitude! I fucking care about you and I'm worried about you! Why is that so hard to believe?"
Chakra—orange chakra was crawling on the floor, right in front of his nose. The punches shifted to scratching, and Sasuke had to move, not for his own well-being, obviously, he still very much did not care about such frivolous things, but Naruto was more demon than person right now, and some poor Genin team might be caught in the mess.
But shifting around did nothing except the punches increase in frequency, along with a disgruntled grunt that sounded more animalistic than anyone should ever sound.
He pushed chakra to his eyes, until orange was mixed with red; craning his neck, he managed to make eye contact with the Naruto thing, covered in bleeding chakra. All a mistake, though, as looking at him appeared to enrage Naruto more, judging by the speed and force of the punches.
But at the end of the day, punching him meant that Naruto was punching himself and he even went to the trouble of healing him, so who was the real winner? The situation was much better than it had been in Sound, at any rate; and if Naruto kept his attention on him, he wouldn't attack innocent bystanders.
Sasuke paused the chakra to his eyes.
And slowly, very slowly, the orange chakra faded away.
Eighteen teams passed. Sasuke was pretty sure it had something to do with the demise of Sound under Konoha's banner, and the rest of the villages attempting to showcase their military strength.
His brother, the Hokage, oversaw the preliminary matches, just as the Third had in his first Chunin exams. Sasuke, very carefully, did not summon a Chidori, just activated the Sharingan and watched the teenager from the Sand village drop to the ground, face down. A few matches later, Karin simply outlasted the opponent by repeatedly biting into her arm. The last match ended similarly with the opponent dropping from exhaustion, after rather admirably trying to keep up with Naruto's clones.
Ten minutes after Naruto was declared the winner, Sasuke was walking into the apartment. Only to find Kakashi loitering in the kitchen, as if hosting the Chunin exams and letting in foreign Jounins into the village didn't require any attention from the Hokage's personal advisor.
"What do you want?"
Kakashi turned to look at him, leaning against the kitchen counter. "There was a moment in the second stage that a couple of people felt the nine tails' chakra around, any thoughts about that?"
Felt the chakra, but didn't think it important to interfere? Sasuke kept the question away from his face, supplying a shrug and roll of eyes that he hoped demonstrated the appropriate amount of annoyance he felt towards the situation, and towards Kakashi, as a matter of fact.
"Naruto lost control for a few seconds."
"What did you do?"
He couldn't stop by raising his eyebrow at that. "Nothing. What makes you think I did anything?"
There was the annoying hum. "You haven't noticed that Naruto only loses control when something happens with you, Sasu-chan?"
"Sounds like you should help him improve his self-control," Sasuke responded. Without another word, he turned on his heel, leaving the kitchen in favor of his bedroom.
Naruto was laying on his bed, curled on his side, clutching his pillow in front of him. But Sasuke could hear Kakashi rummaging through the kitchen.
"Kakashi is looking for you," Sasuke said, as he sat on the floor, his back leaning on the bed.
The minutes dragged on, until Sasuke was sure that Naruto doze off. Except that when he glanced over his shoulder, Naruto's eyes were wide open, staring at him.
Sasuke frowned. "Is your bed taken or something?"
Naruto took a deep breath. "Are you ever going to accept that I care about you?"
"I know you care about me, it would be stupid if you didn't, and you're not that stupid." Sasuke also cared about him, and not just because he'd die if Naruto did, too—although he genuinely hoped that was the only reason that Naruto did care for him.
They were the wrong words to say, though, as Naruto pulled him to his feet and pushed him until his back was pressed against the balcony's door. The marks on his face looked deeper, a red shade hidden in the back of his eyes. For a brief moment, Sasuke considered activating the Sharingan, fantasized about pushing Naruto away, at least out of his personal bubble, but the thought of feeling the push on himself kept him immobile, simply staring as the blue in Naruto's eyes were consumed with red.
Sasuke gripped Naruto's wrist before the fist made contact with his ribs. That, too, appeared to be the wrong decision, as red chakra poured from him, quite like it had done every single time that Sasuke made the worst decision of his life. The Sharingan saw the punch to his face before it landed, but Sasuke, and the village, could do without prompting another tail from Naruto. His head snapped to the side.
Again. Again. And again.
Someone—his brother—managed to pull Naruto off of him. There was blood trailing down Itachi's cheeks, but despite the injury, Itachi caught Naruto's body before it hit the ground. From the corner of his vision, Sasuke watched as the last injuries on Naruto's face disappeared, just as the dulled ache in his own cheeks faded away. As Itachi carried Naruto's body to the bed, Sasuke deactivated the Sharingan.
"What happened?" The question was barely audible. Itachi's attention remained fixed on Naruto,
Which was nice because Sasuke wasn't sure how he'd feel if Itachi looked at him, while blood was pouring from his eyes. "Kakashi hasn't taught him self-control."
Itachi's shoulders stiffened, and painfully slow, he turned to look at Sasuke. "Why didn't you do anything?"
Was that his brother's way of accepting the fact that Kakashi hadn't taught Naruto self-control? No, despite the fact that there was only emptiness on Itachi's face, there was a sharp edge at the end of the question that anyone who hadn't made it their life mission to know as much as they could about Itachi Uchiha would have missed, or at least wave off, but Sasuke couldn't.
"I didn't want to punch myself, nii-san," he mumbled back.
"You could have dodged." The accusation was obviously there, but for some unfathomable reason, guilt didn't sound far off. "Or run away."
Running away was a bit too dramatic for Sasuke's taste, but that wasn't for his brother to hear. "I didn't think leaving the nine tails' out of sight would have been a good idea, Itachi. I'll remember to dodge next time."
Itachi glanced down at Naruto, before turning to look at him. "Please join me in my bedroom," he said, not exactly waiting for Sasuke to accept the invitation, as he was already walking towards said bedroom. But a moment later, he must have realized that his little brother remained rooted on the same spot, frozen by an emotion far too complicated and ugly in the pit of his stomach to decipher, let alone understand because he stopped in front of the door. "Sasuke, please join me in my bedroom," he repeated, this time opening the door.
Sasuke jerked towards him, for a moment, considering locking the door, but they were shinobi, and—anyway, at the end of the day, his brother was the Hokage, his boss, who could assign him any mission he wanted, and which Sasuke would take, because more than anything, he needed his older brother to finally be happy. At this point, he wouldn't even care if Kakashi and Itachi married each other or exchanged Sharingan, as long as his brother got to be happy.
Quietly, he stepped outside of his bedroom, closing the door behind him so not to disturb Naruto, and walked into his brother's bedroom. The last time he remembered been there, it had been a few days after returning from Orochimaru, after standing under cold water; that time, Naruto had apparently been angry with him, though the reason still eluded Sasuke.
Not unlike right now. It's not as if Sasuke had never questioned Naruto's intelligence; Sasuke always called him an idiot, and stupid couldn't be much more offensive than that. During the second exam, he hadn't even called him anything, Naruto had beaten him up until, presumably, he'd simply grown tired.
From the corner of his eye, Sasuke watched his brother close his bedroom door. "Sit, please."
Something tightened around his throat, but he obliged. The thought of been scolded, for something that wasn't entirely his fault, left a bitter taste in the back of his mouth, but last time he annoyed Itachi, he ended up as a babysitter in the Academy—which in the privacy of his mind, he could admit that he enjoyed, but the fact remained, that just as when he was younger, just as his entire life, his older brother had the power to decide how happy Sasuke felt any given day.
And Sasuke, like the coward he was, would love it if he managed to leave the closed bedroom without experiencing Tsukuyomi.
Even if maybe, that would be the only thing that could make his brother happy.
Sasuke could, at the very least, understand that in Itachi's genjutsu, his brother could, at the very least, control everything, including his little brother.
But he was a coward, so he kept his eyes fixed downward, safely hidden by his bangs.
And somehow, stopped his body from flinching when the bed shifted with his brother's weight. He was powerless to relax his back muscles, however.
"The nine tails' chakra is bleeding out of the seal and taking over Naruto's body more frequently than before," Itachi began, his voice barely above a whisper, as if someone could be eavesdropping outside the door. We're worried that the seal will break. Can you tell me what happened inside the forest?"
So many questions, none of which Sasuke was stupid enough to ask. He wasn't even stupid enough to answer Itachi's question. If he did, he'd end up telling him that he had a nightmare, and that for a moment, it felt longer than a nightmare, felt exactly like something someone who should be benched for life would experience in the middle of an exam. "Nothing, nii-san, we were just—"
"Sasuke, please. This is important."
Hearing his brother beg also left a bitter taste in his mouth. He bit back a sigh. "Nothing happened, I promise," he repeated.
"If you're not lying to me, it means that Naruto's losing control without reason, and that puts the village at risk."
And Sasuke was intimately aware of everything that his older brother would do to protect the village. And like a coward, he couldn't live through something like that again. At the end of the day, he'd rather be retired than watch his brother do something to Naruto.
"I had nightmares," Sasuke mumbled. His mouth tasted of ash. "He was worried about me, and I made fun of him, so he got angry. It won't happen again, I promise. There's no need for you to worry about this, I'm sure there are more pressing issues that require your attention, nii-san, like the increased foreign military force this month. Why are the exams even in Konoha?"
The bed shifted again. Somehow, even with his attention still on his lap, Sasuke could tell that his brother was standing in front of him. There was a light squeeze on his shoulder; it almost got Sasuke to look up, but he resisted the temptation.
"You may go," his brother said. "Thank you for clarifying the issue, otouto."
Sasuke would have stayed behind, but he was an idiot and a coward, so he stood up. On the way to his bedroom, he almost crashed into Kakashi. But Kakashi wasn't his brother, and Sasuke couldn't stop himself from kicking him in the shin, as hard as he could afford to, before stomping back to his bedroom.
Naruto remained unconscious on the bed. And Sasuke was tired, but he couldn't afford nightmares at the moment, and the only way to avoid them was to remain awake. It didn't matter, he'd keep his eyes open for the rest of his life to avoid more bad things from happening. Sleep was, after all, more of a distraction than a necessity in a shinobi's life.
Sasuke-sensei," Megumi pulled on his pants. "How do we walk on trees?"
Sasuke stared down. Megumi and Makoto were staring up at him, and that was still as weird as it had been the very first day he met them, so Sasuke crouched down to be able to look at their eyes. In the two weeks he hadn't seen them, Makoto appeared to have fallen from a tree at least three times, considering the amount of scratches on his face. Megumi wasn't doing much better, with brand new bandages around her right ankle.
"Where's Hana?" He asked, doing his best to ignore Kakashi's presence hovering on a tree five meters behind him. It was much like the last time he'd made the finals, and Konoha shinobi wanted to figure out his jutsu, as if he was stupid enough to showcase anything other than a fireball or the Chidori. Except…Sasuke was almost sure that Kakashi wasn't after his jutsu as much as he was after him to ensure that Sasuke didn't pass out from training.
"Her mom said she couldn't come out tonight." Makoto crossed his arms, his lips pushed into a tiny pout. "Can you teach us now, sensei?"
Sasuke bit back a sigh. Out of all three of them, Megumi had the highest reserve of chakra, but it would hardly be enough to climb up a tree. Still, there was something to be said about their initiative; according to Iruka-sensei that was something that was sorely lacking in all the second year students, so it needed to be fostered. Besides, they were only a year away from supposedly graduating, and it wouldn't hurt to start focusing their chakra in the sole of their feet.
Kakashi…if truth be told, Sasuke couldn't remember what Kakashi had said to teach them to climb trees, could really only remember glaring at Naruto and running up a tree, only half wishing that he'd also asked Sakura for some advice. But it couldn't be helped. The eight-year olds in front of him actually thought Sasuke was qualified to be a teacher, so he might as well try to teach them something more useful than using a practice kunai.
"You can start by closing your eyes," Sasuke began. Makoto and Megumi shared a look, and a smile, then complied. "Can you picture your chakra?"
Megumi nodded. A minute later, Makoto did as well.
"If you see it, it means you can feel it. Try to pull it towards your feet."
The grass moved, as if there was a small wind blowing on it, rather than the minuscule amount of chakra Megumi and Makoto could muster out. Sasuke created a shadow clone, and they walked to the two closest trees.
"When you're sure that the chakra is in your feet, you can open your eyes." Their faces were clearly concentrating, and at least they were not trying to speed through the process because three minutes later, their eyes remained closed. But a minute later, Megumi opened her eyes, narrowed still, in concentration. As if on cue, Makoto did as well. "You'll have to run up to the tree to build some momentum and you'll fall, but we're here to catch you," he said, pointing at his clone.
They did.
Sasuke and his clone caught them before they landed on their butt, setting them straight again.
"It's harder than it looks," Makoto mumbled.
Megumi sighed, long and hard, not exactly how someone should sound after only the first try. "Lots harder."
Sasuke shook his head. "No," he said, as gently as he could manage. "It only feels that way because you've never seen anyone learn to do it, you only see shinobi who already know how to do it."
"Was it hard for you, sensei?"
"Of course," he felt a small smile on his face. At least it had seemed that way, considering how fast Sakura picked up on it on the first try. He waved them closer, placing his right foot on the tree, pushing too much chakra into it, until his foot was repelled back. Kakashi had let all three of them figure out the amount of chakra with trial and error, which was a wonderful tool for Naruto, who would have had to be physically restrained to listen to a deeper explanation, but Sasuke could do without watching Makoto and Megumi struggle as much. "Too much chakra and this will happen, but too little, and you won't be able to stick to the tree."
But in that case, why was the momentum even important? It might have been helpful to make Naruto and himself believe that they were making progress, but at the end of the day it would do nothing to make someone climb up the tree, much less stick to it.
He bit back a sigh. "So the first thing that we'll practice is the right amount of chakra."
"How?"
His clone walked behind Megumi, as he went to stand behind Makoto. "We'll pick you guys up, while you two try to stick your feet to the tree."
By the time that Makoto's stomach was growling far too loudly for the kid to ignore and the sun was beginning to set behind the Hokage's monument, Megumi had managed to stick both feet to the tree and stay there, without help, for a minute. Sasuke was sure that she would have stayed longer if she hadn't glanced back and realized that Sasuke's clone wasn't holding her up anymore and Makoto was biting his sleeves to suppress the excited squeal. The image had messed with her concentration and the clone had just enough time to catch her before her butt landed on the ground. Makoto had managed it for a good fifteen seconds, too.
"Will you be here tomorrow again, sensei?" Makoto asked, as Megumi stared up at him with giant eyes.
Sasuke crouched down, again. "Yes. Maybe Hana will be able to join us?"
"Maybe!"
He nodded behind him, "better get home before your parents worry."
He accepted the hug from Makoto and the high five from Megumi, watching them run in the direction of the residential area. He sent his clone after them, just to make sure that they made it home safely; it was likely unfounded, but the Chunin Exams had brought foreign shinobi into the village, and Sasuke would have to be a certified idiot to trust any of them. When he was on his own, he threw a kunai in Kakashi's direction, keeping his eyes steady as Kakashi appeared in front of him in a flash.
"You're very good with them, Sasu-chan." Kakashi was clearly smiling, even with the mask covering his face.
"I'm supposed to be," Sasuke responded, flatly. His brother assigned him to be their teacher and he…wanted to do a good job, in and out of the Academy. If Sasuke could allow himself a moment of quiet honesty, which he'd rather not, obviously, he had far too many awful experiences with a horrible teacher, and he'd rather not pass those experiences to innocent bystanders.
Kakashi shrugged, clearly amused about something. "Everyone is supposed to be, doesn't mean anyone is."
He smirked. "Is this a statement of rare introspection for you, Kakashi?"
His eye darkened at that. "Call me whatever you want, Sasu-chan, I wasn't as bad as Orochimaru."
No one was as bad as Orochimaru. His fingers twitched to reach for the empty patch of skin on his shoulder, but he kept his hands by his side. His energy was better spent glaring at Kakashi, anyway. "I—"
"And it was a compliment, Sasu-chan," Kakashi continued, seemingly unbothered by the glare at the nickname. "It's sweet that you're such a natural with younger students."
"I'm only a natural because it's a mission," Sasuke mumbled. Surely, if Itachi hadn't been the one to assign the mission, Sasuke wouldn't be wasting so much time helping them, wouldn't even put in the effort to congratulate them in the minimal progress that they managed; would probably only tell them that they were too small to learn to climb trees, and to try again in a few years. "Why are you even here?"
Kakashi shrugged. "Guy challenged me to play hide and seek. He must still be looking, but I actually got distracted watching you teach."
"Maybe you should go back to hiding."
"Maybe."
But Kakashi didn't move. Of course not. Sasuke rubbed his eyes, giving his back to him. Without Megumi and Makoto forcing him to act unnaturally awake, the exhaustion etched into his bones was more difficult to hide. He'd fallen asleep yesterday for about two hours, keeping a clone by his side in case he needed to wake himself up, but other than that, he hadn't closed his eyes since his brother told him that Naruto's seal was weakening.
"Do you want to spar?"
He glanced over his shoulder. "Is that what my brother wants?"
"Sasu-chan, you don't have to only do what your brother wants you to do," he began. "I'd like to spar with you, that's all."
"Why?"
"I haven't had a good spar in a few weeks," Kakashi said, as if that was a good enough reason for Sasuke to bear out his heart in a fight with him. The same amused smile underneath the mask, "surely, you'll prefer me over beating yourself up attempting to beat Naruto."
Sasuke turned around, aiming a kick at Kakashi's head, who obviously dodged it, but his chakra was already making the world bleed redder, and Kakashi's movements slower than they should be, probably were. He threw a fireball in his direction, watching as Kakashi summoned an earth wall, surprisingly decorated with his dogs' faces at the top of it. He flashed behind the wall, driving his fist into Kakashi's face.
He jumped back as lightning crackled in the air, Kakashi's clone disappearing. Stupid. He jumped to the top of the wall, pulling a kunai out of his pouch. For some reason, his movements felt slower. Kakashi appeared to his left. He blocked two kicks aimed at his ribs. Threw the kunai at Kakashi's forehead.
It would have hit him, if not for Kakashi's Sharingan spinning it into oblivion. Sasuke threw five shuriken for good measure. That was, apparently enough, to make Kakashi's eye bleed. The blood seeped down his cheek.
It should have been a tactical advantage, but Sasuke's legs were rooted to the wall. He wished it was due to a stupid jutsu. A kunai hovered next to his neck. Kakashi's…clone disappeared in front of him.
"You're distracted," Kakashi's voice came from behind him, less threatening than it should be for someone who was holding a knife to his throat.
He wasn't distracted, but Sasuke simply didn't enjoy watching eyes bleed, regardless of who was the bearer of said Sharingan. For a second, he considered creating his own lightning jutsu, but the trick felt cheap, even to him. Instead, he simply, slowly, turned around, staring at Kakashi. He lifted his hand, guiding Kakashi's kunai away from his neck.
"You're useless," Sasuke responded, instead of addressing the jibe. "You can't even take out five shuriken without hurting yourself."
Kakashi narrowed his eyes, then pulled his forehead protector down to cover the Sharingan. His cheek was pristine, and it was a little easier for Sasuke to draw in a steady breath. "See you later, Sasu-chan. Don't stay out too late, or your brother is going to worry."
Sasuke stayed rooted on the spot for five minutes, staring at the empty space in front of him. That was…a little weird, wasn't it? He bit a back sigh, creating a clone, who headed towards Kakashi's apartment. It took a longer amount of time to jump back to the ground, and even longer to melt the wall that Kakashi left behind with his fireballs. By the time he managed, his shirt was drenched in sweat, his hair sticking to his forehead, his legs heavy. Dragging his body to the tree that Makoto had used for practice, he collapsed on the ground, his eyes losing focus as he stared up at the darkened sky.
When he opened his eyes, he was laying on his bed, the covers up to his chin. His throat burned, as if he spent the entire night screaming it raw. The doorknob moved, and he had just enough to sit up before his brother walked in, wearing the Hokage's robes, and carrying a glass of water. Sasuke rubbed his eyes and straightened his back as Itachi sat on the bed.
"How did you sleep?"
Better than he should have, all things considered, especially because he was desperately trying to stay awake. But Sasuke, like the very smart person that he was, kept that comment to himself. "Fine," he heard himself say. "Thank you. How did you sleep, nii-san?"
His brother stared at him, without blinking, without even breathing. Sasuke did his best to remain unmoving, as his mind scrambled to convince his body that his brother loved him and wanted to keep him safe. The thing was that his body also knew that his brother had…broken his wrist once, and more than one rib.
"Fine as well," he said. "Drink some water," he motioned to the glass. "It…" there was something in the back of his eyes. "In case your throat hurts."
Like the idiot that he was, he shook his head. "It doesn't," he lied, even as his hand reached for the glass. It's not as if his brother would believe him, even if the glass of water remained on the table. "Am I making you late for work?"
Itachi shook his head. "A clone went on ahead."
That seemed unethical, just like every single time that Kakashi left a clone in his place as well, but the judgment got stuck in the back of his throat. He brought the glass to his lips, drinking the cold water in one large gulp. It did wonders to soothe the rawness, though it did nothing to ease the memory of kneeling in front of Orochimaru from his mind. Every day, the thought of the Yamanaka clan erasing his memories felt more compelling.
He set the glass on the bedside table, pulling the sheets off of him. "Do…" he bit back a sigh, "do you know why the seal is weakening?"
Itachi shook his head. "I wish I did," he said. Sasuke couldn't decide if he was lying or not, just like always. "I've sent word for Jiraiya-sama, but he is a few weeks from returning. In the meantime, I would like to train you to suppress the nine tails' chakra."
He felt his body trying to shake his head. But it was his brother and anyway, Sasuke had always wanted him to train him. It was a good thing. It was nice, even sweet, that Itachi, as busy as he was, would even think about his little brother to train him.
Training with his brother was not quite what Sasuke remembered from when they were younger, or even what he imagined. It was…much worse. He pushed himself to his knees, forcing air into his lungs, until the floor stopped spinning. It wasn't even the stress from showing his brother how weak he truly was, how unnatural he was at using their bloodline—Sasuke was sure that if it was that, he would be able to deal with it; he had plenty of practice feeling inadequate when it came to the Sharingan and his brother, after all.
It was just that suppressing the demon's chakra naturally involved the Sharingan; obviously made his brother activate it while staring at Sasuke. It was stupid. Embarrassing, too, and awful, but every single time that Itachi's eyes spun with the Sharingan, Sasuke's guts twisted into themselves, and his breath caught in his lungs. It took far too much energy to force his chakra to activate his own Sharingan and even more to remain there, staring at his brother, while he attempted to concentrate, to listen to what Itachi was telling him about the demon's chakra and the Sharingan.
"Are you alright?"
Sasuke stared up. Itachi's hand was outstretched, so he took it, allowing him to help him up. Once he was on his feet, he let go, excusing the movement by wiping the dirt off his pants. "I'm sorry it's taking so long." There was something in his brother's eyes, but Sasuke wasn't crazy enough to try to decipher it. "I'll have dinner ready tonight, nii-san."
"Thank you, Sasuke." Itachi squeezed his shoulder, "have a good rest of your day. Don't work too hard."
Sasuke managed a nod. The unnamed emotion on his brother's face faded away and a second later, Sasuke was left alone in the clearing. He flopped down on the ground, as the Sharingan receded. He wiped the sweat from his forehead. His brother told him that to successfully force the nine tails' chakra back, the amount of chakra in the Sharingan had to be more than the natural fury of the demon, and while in Sound, Sasuke had, of course, trained his Sharingan, as well as he could, as well as Orochimaru could, but it left much to be desired.
Of course, he knew that the next step of his training would involve his brother…mimicking the nine tails' fury and there was only one sure way of doing that. Thankfully, his brother must know that he was awful at fighting, and probably hadn't realized that Sasuke was self-sabotaging more than he liked to admit. Anyway, Sasuke already knew that he wasn't strong enough to stop the demon from taking over Naruto and quite frankly, he didn't need his brother to show him that in the Tsukiyomi.
He closed his eyes.
Until the memories flooded his mind.
The eyeless faces, always the faces, bloodied and pinned on the walls, staring at him, accusing him for attacking Orochimaru, for killing every—
He sat up. His throat hurt. But the clearing remained, he wasn't even inside a room, much less a basement, only surrounded by trees, inside Konoha. It was fine. He was fine. Everything was fine. With a breath, he turned on his stomach, one more time, pushing himself to his knees. Just as well, as he spotted Naruto walking through the clearing, one of his clones next to him.
It was a terrible idea, but Sasuke walked over. When Naruto spotted him, the clone disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
"Want to train?" Naruto asked.
The question sounded hollow, but Sasuke found himself nodding.
Forty-five minutes later, Naruto's eyes were glowing red.
Sasuke was doing a fantastic job dodging the attacks, until he caught sight of Megumi, Hana, and Makoto running towards the clearing. Naruto's body flashed in front of him, and then Sasuke was skidding across the ground. He threw a fireball, feeling the burn on his right arm, before the demon's chakra patched it. The fire, at least, though, appeared to have settled Naruto, because when he appeared in front of him, his eyes were blue, again.
Just in time for the three kids to pause in front of them. There were tears pooling in Hana's eyes, and Megumi's cheeks were wet.
"Are you okay, sensei?"
Sasuke glanced over his shoulder. There was no trace of orange chakra coming from Naruto and other than the way he was chewing down on his lip, his eyes worried, he looked just like himself—which was a win; there was no way he'd be able to suppress the nine tails', especially if he was worried about three academy students getting in the way. Naruto stared at him, before his eyes trailed to Makoto, and then Megumi, and then Hana. Before Sasuke could say, or do, anything, he turned around, running to the trees.
Hana grabbed him by the pants before Sasuke could go after him. "Why was he orange?"
Sasuke crouched down. "Some people have different colored chakra," he said, biting back a sigh.
"Dad told me we shouldn't get close to him," Megumi whispered.
Sasuke had seen her dad a couple of times, picking up the twins from the Academy. According to Iruka-sensei, he was a merchant, who specialized in training healing herbs from nearby towns. "Did he say why?"
Megumi tilted her head to the side, "he's dangerous."
Something hot twisted his insides. "The village is filled with dangerous shinobi," he began, slowly. When he was younger, he never understood why Naruto was hated the way he was, even the fact that he was utterly pathetic in his studies in the Academy seemed a little excessive for the amount of hatred thrown his way. But it seemed awfully convenient for everyone to keep forgetting that Naruto was, in effect, the first and last line of defense the village had. "If you three graduate from the Academy, you'll be dangerous one day, too," he added.
"Is my dad going to hate me too?"
Sasuke shook his head, managing a small smile. "Of course not. But being dangerous is a compliment for any ninja." He stood up, creating two clones. "Besides, Naruto is my teammate. I wouldn't be as strong as I am without him." Which was not entirely true, but the stupid thing in the pit of his stomach remained, and the image of Naruto fleeing, as if he also knew what a stranger told his daughter, was in the back of his mind.
"You're his friend?" Makoto asked, his eyes wide. The other two had the exact same expression.
He nodded. "Exactly like you three are friends."
Makoto shook his head, "we're best friends, sensei."
"Well, best friends, have you caught up, Hana?"
Megumi nodded, not as excited as usual. Still, by the time it was time for them to head to dinner, Hana, too, had managed to stick to the tree for longer than twenty seconds, and Megumi had climbed two steps up. Just like the previous night, Sasuke sent a clone after them, to make sure they made it home, and then he ran in the direction where Naruto had disappeared to.
He spotted him on the ground, face down, his jacket discarded a meter away from him, lumped against a tree. His chest was rising and falling in a steady pattern. Sasuke walked closer, but Naruto didn't steer. He nudged him with his foot until he began to stir, mumbling something incomprehensible. Sasuke watched as he sat up, yawning loudly, standing up, rubbing his eyes.
"A stranger could sneak up on you."
Naruto eyed him, narrowing his eyes. "The fox can feel you," he said, turning around to pick up his jacket. He shook it in the air, as if he was scared that a bug crawled on it—which couldn't possibly be the case, otherwise, he wouldn't have fallen asleep in the middle of the forest.
"The what can what?"
Naruto turned to look at him. Shrugged, with a sad look in his eyes. "The demon in my belly can tell when you're the one who's getting closer."
Weird. Did his brother know that? Was Sasuke supposed to tell him? He couldn't. He wouldn't. Ratting Naruto out was a terrible idea. "Since when?"
He shrugged again. "The forest, I think. I'm not sure. What does it matter? At least I know that when it's you, you won't be able to kill me without killing yourself."
Uh. Naruto truly was an idiot, Sasuke was almost sure that he made it abundantly clear, to a couple of people, that the only reason he was half alive was because Naruto remained to be Hokage yet. Telling him that, though, was probably a bad idea, especially when the seal was so precarious. "You ran away before we could finish our match," he said instead.
"I didn't run away." Naruto cleared his throat, as he fumbled to put his jacket on, as if he had no idea how to zip it up. He must have been sweating, for the zipper to keep slipping through his fingers. "I just didn't want to disturb you with those kids," he mumbled, low enough for Sasuke to almost miss those words. The sigh, though, was perfectly loud.
Sasuke rolled his eyes, stepping closer. He swatted Naruto's hands away from the zipper, grabbing it, and pulling it up. "You're such a loser," he muttered under his breath. He waited for a second, expecting Naruto's fists to crash against his cheek, but nothing came. When he looked up, Naruto…looked upset, as he had when their fight was interrupted by literal children. "Can't even zip up your jacket without help."
Naruto shoved him away, hard. Sasuke staggered back, but saved himself the embarrassment of falling backwards. Naruto turned around, jumping into the trees. If Sasuke's eyes weren't as quick, he might have missed the stupid tears. With a sigh, Sasuke jumped after him, tailing him, until he saw him jump on the roof of his apartment's complex.
Sasuke's feet dragged him to Ichiraku's. But he wasn't a big fan of ramen himself, and the owner knew Naruto's favorite order by heart. He exchanged the money for the food, and thanked the owner, before he jumped on the nearest roof. A minute later, he was standing in front of Naruto's door. He knocked once. Moved closer, leaning against the door to hear if there were any footsteps. There were. Soft. He moved back, just as the door opened.
Naruto's hair was drenched, his shirt missing, clearly fresh out of the shower. Perhaps it was the fact that Sasuke had seen more red than blue in Naruto's eyes lately, but they looked clearer than before, bluer than water itself, if that was possible. Sasuke lifted his hand, offering the bag of food to him. It took longer than Sasuke would have liked, but eventually, Naruto accepted the bag with a smile that turned into a grin as he peeked inside.
"My favorite," he said, looking up at him. His stupid eyes were shining. He stepped aside, opening the door wider. "Come on, or it'll get cold."
Sasuke shook his head. "It's just for you."
Naruto dragged him inside, "don't be an idiot, Sasuke. I don't mind sharing, you bought it after all."
Naruto closed the door, seemingly speeding through the process of setting the table. It wasn't very difficult, as he apparently thought that Sasuke was going to share the bowl and the chopsticks, which was completely ludicrous; and yet, when Naruto pulled a chair back for him, his body sat down. Even opened his mouth when Naruto brought the chopsticks, filled with noodles to his face.
It had to be muscle memory. There was not another explanation, and even if there was, Sasuke wasn't going to think about it.
"You didn't have to," Naruto said, once the bowl was empty.
Sasuke would be a hypocrite to ask him about his feelings—and he didn't actually want to hear about them, because there was a reason that emotions were prohibited in their world, but even without the Sharingan, he had zero luck to forget Naruto's crying face. For a reason that, much like everything, eluded him. "You seemed like you needed it," he said, keeping his voice steady and cold. "I've never seen you run away from a fight."
A flush colored Naruto's cheeks. "I didn't run away. I told you, I didn't want to bother you while—"
"I was babysitting three babies?"
Naruto shrugged, until he shook his head. "Teaching them. Iruka-sensei told me that they liked you a lot, and that you were doing a really good job."
He might be doing a good job, but the fact that he hadn't been able to explain to them exactly why their parents' comments about Naruto were entirely unfair, coupled with Naruto outright crying for some stupid reason, left him feeling rotten inside. His fingers twitched to grab—he pushed his chair back. "I'll be training there tomorrow, too, if you're not too much of a scaredy cat to finish our match," he said, clearing his throat to stop his chest from feeling like something was pressing down on it.
Naruto grinned up at him, looking quite as he looked when they were twelve. "I'll be there bright and early just to kick your butt."
Before Sasuke's hand could betray him and squeeze Naruto's shoulder for some stupid reason, he stood up. "Try not to hurt yourself sleeping, loser," he said, slipping outside the door. For a whole minute, he rested his forehead against the door, until his mind helpfully reminded him that the nine tails could, apparently, somehow, figure out when he was close by, and then he ran home.
When he made it home, Kakashi and Itachi were in the kitchen, a tea kettle on the stove.
Sasuke—he had promised his brother that he would have dinner ready before he got home, had he not? So why had he not even thought of buying him ramen, too? He'd gone to feed Naruto, and completely lost sight of cooking dinner for his brother, and apparently for Kakashi, too, who continued to always be there; Sasuke was convinced that he spent more time in their apartment than in his own.
The soft smile that his brother offered him just made him feel even worse.
But he managed to return it. "I'll start on dinner," he said, moving towards the fridge.
"We can cook, too, otouto."
What a weird, unfortunate choice of words. Sasuke glanced over his shoulder, watching as Kakashi was taking three cups from the cupboard, and his brother continued to smile gently, at him, much like Sasuke remembered their own mom doing after he'd returned from school.
He shook his head. "I got it. I'm sure there's a lot of things for you guys to discuss in the meantime."
He ignored Kakashi's quiet chuckle, and the way his brother raised an eyebrow, before they both left the kitchen. Sasuke settled on some rice and marinated meat with ginger, doing his best to concentrate on the food in front of him, rather than on the silence coming from the living room, where a quick look confirmed that both Kakashi and his brother remained.