"Names of shops in Kabukicho! Yoshiwara!"
"Voice actresses of magical girls! Maya-sama!"
"Names of love hotels in Izu! Dragon-Tiger Love Hotel!"
"Names of magical girls! Rarako!"
"Types of lingerie—"
"Rarako's outfits—"
"..."
Under everyone's watchful eyes, the two went back and forth fiercely.
The only problem was… neither of them could survive a single rally.
Seriously… was the serve deciding every point?!
The nearby guests' expressions grew increasingly strange. This was completely different from what they had imagined.
And yet… somehow, it also felt inevitable?
The senpai, however, dutifully flipped the scoreboard at lightning speed. They had satisfied smiles as if this was exactly how it should be.
They had even stopped pouring drinks and simply shoved two bottles of "water" directly into the players' hands.
Aina and Chisa fell silent as they watched Kamishiro and Kohei.
It had actually turned into what Kohei described earlier?!
Playing, drinking, and word games all at once?
No—calling it "playing" was generous. They weren't even rallying!
The crowd watched with great interest. After all, scenes where people chug "Water of Life" like actual water weren't exactly common.
Once you walked out that door, you might never see it again.
Before long, the score had reached 7:7.
Neck and neck!
"Names of host clubs in Kabukicho—"
"Stop!!!"
Aina abruptly interrupted Kamishiro before he could finish.
The ball he had tossed up fell back into his palm.
"Hm? What's wrong, Aina?"
Kamishiro remained in serving posture, puzzled.
They were in the middle of a man's duel!
He had been about to go through all of Kabukicho.
"…."
(???)
What's wrong?
Do you two seriously lack that much self-awareness?!
"Um… pardon me for asking, but is this really your actual skill level?"
Even Chisa couldn't hold back anymore.
She remembered they had ping-pong classes in high school. These two looked like they had never touched a paddle before.
Well… that wasn't entirely accurate. Their stances were decent.
It was just their accuracy…
Kohei was understandable—he was athletically hopeless. Every shot, he tried his best, but it either went wide, flew off, or landed limp and useless.
Even when it landed… if he couldn't answer the question, it didn't matter!
Kamishiro's questions were way too hard for an otaku like Kohei.
No too hard for anyone!
What were those questions even?!
As for Kamishiro…
They seriously suspected he was doing this on purpose.
His very first serve had already proven he wasn't some amateur.
Could he at least be sincere?
Kamishiro: "Of course not."
"..."
Well… that was a very sincere answer.
"Nani?! You're lying! You already used your full strength earlier, didn't you?!"
Kohei stared at Kamishiro's calm expression, clearly unconvinced.
"It's already impressive that you're on my level. But to lie out of vanity? I'm disappointed in you, Kamishiro!"
Kamishiro stared coldly at the idiot.
Sometimes he really wanted to punch this self-unaware moron.
"Die!"
Bang!
Annoyed, Kamishiro smashed a serve straight into Kohei's forehead—revenge for Aina.
"Ah! That hurts! Do you even know how to play?!"
"7:8!"
The senpai continued acting as impartial referees.
Because Kamishiro hadn't declared a category during the serve, he lost the point.
Poor Kohei—got hit and still had to drink.
Kamishiro's eyes suddenly lit up.
Wait.
Why hadn't he thought of that earlier?
Instead of ignoring Kohei's serves, he should've used tennis-style face shots from the beginning!
Physical and magical damage combined!
At that moment, Chisa and Aina finally understood why Kamishiro had not been playing seriously.
He was mentally unbalanced.
There was no punishment for losing. But the winner had to keep drinking.
Anyone would feel unfair. Given Kamishiro's pride, he had to win.
But…
21:0 was a win.
21:20 was also a win.
Clearly, he wanted to drag Kohei down with him.
Honestly?
They would probably do the same.
Except they could not survive 21 cups of Water of Life.
These two's alcohol tolerance was terrifying.
They remembered when they first joined the club—these three were only slightly above average drinkers.
Now?
Even the inn owner had started recording for legal self-protection.
Owner: This has nothing to do with me! Customers are gods! If gods want to self-destruct, I can't stop them! (crying)
Aina glanced at the near-breaking-point owner, then turned back.
"This won't work! There's no meaning if you keep going like this!"
"Hm? How is there no meaning? We're deciding victory."
Kamishiro still looked confused.
Making Kohei drink—very meaningful!
Aina opened her mouth, struggling to explain.
"That's not what I mean—"
Chisa stepped in.
"Can you at least ask questions that everyone knows?"
"Yes! That's it!"
Aina straightened up, bathed in imaginary holy light.
Mom! I've met a kind-hearted god!
Their questions had turned this into a turn-based game.
At least make it to a second rally!
They weren't sure if Kamishiro could answer Kohei's questions—
But Kohei definitely couldn't answer Kamishiro's.
So many times Kohei had successfully returned the ball—
Only to fail the question.
"This… completely defeats the point."
Kamishiro scratched his head.
Even if they did that, the outcome wouldn't change.
It would just drag the game out.
"Meaningful! Very meaningful!"
Kohei rose again dramatically.
"As long as I can answer the questions, Kamishiro, you'll have zero chance of winning!"
Kamishiro's forehead twitched.
Was that provocation?
No.
He was just stupid.
So Kamishiro's "mercy" had made him overconfident?
Fine.
It worked.
A dark smile spread across Kamishiro's face.
"Sure. I get it now. You want the bloodbath to be more entertaining, right?"
"…."
Aina and Chisa exchanged pitiful looks toward Kohei.
Someone was about to suffer.
...
"Common questions…"
Kohei held the ball, thinking.
The condition restricted both of them.
Then he glanced at his cup.
"I've got it!"
"Ancient and Modern! Types of alcohol! Water of Life!"
He served weakly again like an elementary-school kid.
But he looked smug, convinced Kamishiro couldn't return it easily.
In Kohei's shocked gaze—
Kamishiro smiled like a demon.
He lowered his stance and swung.
"Whiskey!"
Bang!
The ceiling filled Kohei's vision again.
Same cool posture.
Same murderous arc.
Another red mark appeared on his pig-like face.
But this time—
Kamishiro's paddle flew out of his hand too.
"Oops, sorry. Slipped. You don't mind, right?"
Kamishiro walked over, smiling sweetly, his face full of mockery.
Play ping-pong with me?
Prepare to die.
"You bastard! This is ping-pong, not tennis!"
Kohei grabbed his collar.
"You did that on purpose!"
"How could I? That's just my real skill~"
"You did it on purpose!"
"Don't say that. This round's yours. Drink up."
"..."
Kohei's expression twisted.
He had to win. And mock Kamishiro mercilessly.
Meanwhile, Chisa and Aina turned away in pain.
They gave up guiding this match.
Whatever.
They refused to acknowledge this as ping-pong.
Since when did ping-pong threaten lives?!
They silently swore never to play with Kamishiro again.
This was homicidal ping-pong.
Just as they went to grab drinks, the senpai called them over.
As proper referees—
They had found an error in.
They took games seriously.
...
After hearing the explanation, the girls looked horrified.
Surely the referees were wrong?
But this was PAB.
So… maybe not.
Aina looked toward the battlefield.
Kamishiro was aggressively force-feeding Kohei alcohol.
Brotherly love at its finest.
"Wait!"
Aina rushed forward.
Even if Kohei was useless, he was still her wingman.
"What now?"
Kamishiro turned, confused.
"You seriously have the nerve to ask?"
Aina's lips twitched.
You threw the paddle! Have some self-awareness!
Then she smirked.
"After referee discussion, Kohei's answer was invalid."
"Huh?"
Kamishiro blinked.
Invalid?
"Within PAB, Water of Life is considered water. So it doesn't count as alcohol. Score: 8:8."
"!!!"
Cold sweat trickled down Kamishiro's back.
He felt murderous intent behind him.
For survival—
He spun and pointed at Kohei.
"You idiot! As a PAB member, how could you make such a basic mistake?! This time it's just a small punishment. Next time it won't be so simple!"
Then he sprinted back to his side.
Kohei was momentarily stunned, Then enraged.
He grabbed a bottle and charged.
"You scumbag! Die!"
"We're in a match! Settle grudges through the game!"
Kamishiro dodged and scrambled for his paddle.
As long as he served, the game resumed.
But—
"Where's my paddle?!"
He stared at the empty floor.
Aina floated by.
"Beep beep! For malicious conduct, yellow card! Paddle confiscated!"
=????(??? ????)
"Confiscated?! This is ping-pong! What am I supposed to use?!"
Blatant targeting!
Aina silently pointed downward.
Kamishiro followed her gaze.
His slippers.
"…."
This was getting ridiculous.
Kohei lunged again.
"Die!!!"
"Now, the match resumes!"
As Aina's voice rang out, Kamishiro and Kohei once again stood on opposite sides of the table.
Still the same stark contrast in appearances: a pig-headed brute versus a prince.
But there was one similarity.
Both of them were swaying unsteadily…
Just moments ago, each of them had downed an entire bottle of "Water of Life."
Yes—forced to.
With their alcohol intake far beyond safe levels, they were deep in drunkenness.
They needed time to recover.
Unfortunately, for the sake of ultimate victory, neither of them had that luxury.
Kamishiro looked at Kohei who now appeared to have double vision and withdrew the playful attitude he had been keeping.
This had to end quickly.
Heh heh.
At his current state… going back and lying in a big sister's lap would be an absolute finishing move, okay?!
Today…
He would lie in Nanaka nee's lap right in front of Azusa nee and provoke her mercilessly!
And then…
Overwhelmed by longing for Nanaka's scent, Azusa would pull him into her own embrace.
Hehehehehe~
What a genius he was.
Seeing Kamishiro's grin, Chisa shuddered. Just now, she had felt a chill run down her spine.
It was like something important to her had been targeted.
"What's wrong, Chisa?"
Nanaka immediately leaned in, pressing her forehead against Chisa's to check her temperature.
Truly making the most of every opportunity.
"N-no, it's nothing…"
Chisa awkwardly turned her head aside. Even though they had always been close like this, she still was not quite used to it.
Wait.
That strange feeling just now…
Could someone be eyeing her sister?!
Thinking that, Chisa's gaze toward Kamishiro grew wary.
Primary suspect.
As if sensing her stare, Kamishiro turned and smiled at her.
That only made her more suspicious.
Suspect confirmed.
Kamishiro blinked in confusion. Was his smile that creepy?
Why the sudden hostility?
Shrugging it off, he decided not to think about it.
Girls like Chisa—airheaded types—were better left to idiots like Kitahara.
Apparently, airheads and idiots go well together.
Right now—
His main target was another idiot.
Kamishiro bent slightly forward, skipping any extra talk.
He was going to end this as fast as possible.
Of course—
He'd still make Kohei drink all 20 cups.
And since Aina and the others wanted bloodshed…
A smirk curled at his lips. He'd originally intended to serve a backspin but changed his mind.
Instead, he sent a light, floating straight shot toward Kohei.
It definitely was not because backspin was hard to pull off with a slipper.
No—he just wanted to make the match more entertaining.
Yes. That was it.
He was being considerate of the audience.
This ball? Kohei should be able to return it.
As for the "Past and Present" question… that would depend on fate.
Honestly, Kamishiro could not think of anything else to ask.
If Kohei answered and returned the ball properly, Kamishiro would accept defeat wholeheartedly.
Though before accepting defeat he would still smash him like tennis.
"Past and Present! Kitahara's strengths! Can eat!"
Kohei: ???!!!
What kind of question was that?!
Kohei's walnut-sized brain spun furiously, searching through every memory of knowing Kitahara for a single redeeming trait.
There was none.
The only strength that idiot had was eating.
As for drinking?
Please. His alcohol tolerance ranked near the bottom among the PAB senpai.
Ahhhhh!!
Strengths!
What other strengths did that idiot even have?!
As he overthought it, visible steam seemed to rise from Kohei's head.
His CPU had officially overheated.
Seeing the ball getting closer, he knew time was running out.
Think!
You can do it!
…Do what?!
"There's nothing good about him at all!!"
Unable to answer, Kohei shut his eyes and swung wildly.
And somehow—
His accuracy exploded to an entirely new level.
The yellow ping-pong ball shot like lightning—
Straight at Aina.
Aina: (? ? ?? )
Again?!
Kohei, are you doing this on purpose?!
If you have a problem with me, just say it!
She tried to dodge but the ball curved beautifully through the air and struck her squarely on the forehead.
Smack.
A curveball.
"Hmm. Still slightly off in direction," Kohei muttered, stroking his chin. "Next time I'll adjust and nail Kamishiro."
"9:8!"
"Kohei! You did that on purpose!"
Aina lunged at him again, only to be stopped by Azusa.
"Calm down, Aina~"
Azusa gently patted her head like petting a kitten.
"Azusa senpai!"
Tears welled in Aina's eyes.
Two times!
Same spot!
It burned.
Azusa soothed her quietly, whispering something in her ear.
Kohei shuddered as he saw the two glance at him repeatedly.
His sixth sense screamed danger.
Before he could decide whether to apologize—
Another yellow ball flew toward him.
Hearing the wind split, he instinctively swung and Missed.
Smack.
Though Kamishiro hadn't hit it hard just enough to return possession for the serve.
Kohei, however, swung so hard his paddle flew off.
Straight toward—
"Watch out!"
Aina looked up—
Smack!
The red sole landed perfectly on her face.
She dropped like a plank, whispering faintly, "Ko…hei…"
Kohei: (;?_?)
Is it too late to apologize?
…
"Match continues!"
With Aina down, Tokita-senpai took over announcing.
Kohei glanced nervously at the man's enormous muscles and resolved to aim more carefully.
He could not survive one of those punches.
For attacking an innocent bystander, Kohei received punishment.
Same as Kamishiro, his paddle was confiscated.
Now both stood gripping a single slipper, glaring at each other.
This was the most unhinged table tennis match the NPCs had ever witnessed.
Honestly, only the ball had anything to do with ping-pong anymore.
They were not even using the table half the time.
More like tennis rules.
Hadn't a referee already been taken out?
Glancing at Aina icing her forehead, the NPCs quietly stepped back.
They valued their lives.
"Past and Present! My strengths—handsome… guy…"
Kohei's voice grew smaller and smaller.
His cheeks flushed.
For a socially anxious guy, praising himself was torture.
Same slow serve.
The NPCs expected another slipper smash.
But Kamishiro didn't move.
The ball bounced lonely on his side.
Because—
He was gagging.
"Ugh!"
Kohei exploded.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"
"Sorry… your face is a bit nauseating right now… I'll give you this round…"
Before, calling Kohei handsome was not wrong.
He had idol-level looks.
Which was exactly why Kamishiro once wanted to meet Kohei's mom.
That suggestion had nearly gotten him killed.
Anyway—
Now?
Looking at Kohei's swollen pig-face, flushed with embarrassment—
It was too much.
"Ugh…"
Kohei: ( ｀д´ )!!!!
Die.
Just die gagging.
Tokita calmly announced:
"10:8."
Both: "What?!"
"After discussion, Kohei currently does not qualify as 'handsome,' so…"
Kohei's face went pitch black.
Do you know how much courage that took?!
Unfair!
That's his strength!
Since when are strengths judged by current condition?!
But seeing the senpai bringing another bottle toward Kamishiro—
He backed down.
Let the weak have this one.
Victory would still be his.
Meanwhile, Kamishiro had lost all smugness.
Only two thoughts remained:
First… could he even survive to 21 drinks?
Second—
Who pours a bottle as one cup?!
"Ugh—"
This time, Kamishiro truly vomited from drinking.
"Hang in there, Kamishiro!"
"Just one more gulp!"
"I already drank half a bottle, you idiots!"
The atmosphere remained strangely joyful.
But unnoticed—
Among the NPCs, a pair of eyes stared at them intensely.
Found you.