Nox's POV:
Alas, my future grandchildren will have to live in fear of the big bad woof woofs because my stupid son refuses to undergo chainsaw brain surgery.
"WHERE DID I GO WRONG?!"
"Maybe when you pulled out a chainsaw and tried to split my skull in half!"
"No, that can't be it! My parenting is flawless! This can only be the work of the Playboy's bad influence on you! That settles it! You, mister! Is coming along with me to pick up your siblings and as punishment for dooming future generations to come, will have to babysit when the war hits!"
"Hm? Oh no! Please don't tell me you're about to kick up another storm! You have already destroyed the boss's house! Please don't tell me, I am next! If this palace goes down, I'll have to pay out of pocket to fix it, or enter into a slave contract disguised as a loan!"
"Oh! The good old loan shark slave deal! I've always wanted to try those out, but I keep forgetting and break their kneecaps before I remember! Anyways, I ain't kicking up squat! This war is startin just like most often do, with a herd of petty old goats and a rat that can't admit defeat."
"Can't we just release that on them and call it a day?" I asked as I pointed at the evil god whispering sweet nothings in my uncle's mind.
"Nah! This is the third offence! If they haven't caught on yet then I'll have to shove it in their face myself, rather than have someone else do it for me! Else, they might continue to think I'm a pushover!"
"Hm!*Sigh* Then if you won't use that guy, can you at least take that away from him? I'm starting to get worried he might actually open it soon!"
"Hm? Oh, sure! The playboy's ship isn't done yet is it? Then I might as well take care of that while I'm at it, so he'll buzz off already!" I said as I walked up to my little brother as he was following his new passion for caressing his precious.
"And yoink!"
"WHAT?! HEY, GIVE THAT BACK! I NEED IT!"
"Not until you help me out with something!"
"Sure whatever! Just give it back!"
"I'll give it back once you finish eating your own ass and die!"
"Yeah, yeah! I'll do it later, promise! Now give it here!"
"Hm? Didn't hear a word I said! HEY, FART APOCALYPSE! MIND LETTING UP ON THE BRAINWASHING?! I KIND OF NEED HIM TO BE SANE FOR THIS! HEY! I'M SPEAKING TO YOU!" I shouted, shaking the snow globe.
"Welp, its broken! Guess, I'll just throw it into some hellfire then?"
And just as I said that, the four lights inside the fart globe started shining, as my brother was freed from the fart's hypnotic stench.
"Huh? Wait! Oh! Hm? So, that's why you said no touchies back then! You know, you could have warned me it could still do that from inside the seal!" My brother complained.
"Hmph? If I did that, then you wouldn't learn your lesson!"
"What lesson?"
"When I say don't do it, don't do it! Now let's go free this sucker!" I said as I grabbed my brother and dragged him away.
As I don't know much about where is what around these parts, so, I decided to make my formerly fart addicted brother lead the way to the playboy's new ride in progress, after giving me the full tour of the place that is.
After we were done destroying all my kid's candy, I waved goodbye to the golem servants I reprogrammed, as we finally made our way towards our destination, while my Crybaby started crying over some spilled candy.
"After being given the full tour of this fancy schmancy palace, I got to say. This is pretty tame for a magic tower!"
A 'Magic Tower', is a term from the magic continent used to describe a magician's main base of operations. It's the place where they keep all their most valuable secrets, experiments and whatever else. Hence it is often decked to the teeth with defensive magic, traps, and so on, but this place, aside from the army of golems replacing the servants, and a handful of security cameras in the form of enchantments I've spotted here and there, there is hardly anything special about this place.
"Well, we wanted to do more, but there are a lot of people coming in and out of this place, and after a bunch of them died or got injured while accidentally triggering our traps, Darky told us to keep it to a minimum!"
"Hmph! Anyways, this the hunk of expensive junk I'm working with?" I asked, pointing at the giant ball of precious metals and gemstones glued together in the shape of a ship.
This was my real reason for coming here. In my last conversation with that pony-loving playboy, I learned that the only way to save my back from any more pony rides for the foreseeable future was to make his pimped-up ride capable of crossing the continental barrier separating him from the continent next door. So, that was what I was here to do.
"Yup! It's mostly just the shell though! If we want to change the outer design, we will need to run it by Darky, but otherwise, we can do whatever we want!"
"Whatever we want, huh?"
"*Giggle* Yup! And knowing you! You are definitely going to make him regret giving us that freedom! Now, what are we baking?" He said, putting on an apron, while handing me my chef's hat.
"Hm? It needs to be bold, and dirty! This is the Playboy's ship after all!" I said, putting on the chef's hat as I began contemplating what blueprint in my head fit the playboy the most.
"Oh, I got it! Now lets get started!" I said as I grabbed my brother by the core.
As I am still recovering from the whole downgrade of my core, making a whole mountain of money into a functional flying cake would take forever, so I used my brother's core instead to make it. I then transmitted bite-sized chunks of the blueprints with my big brain to make it easier for him, just like in the good old days.
"Now for the secret ingredient! Now, sous-chef lil B, hand me the fart bubble!"
Soon after, my brother used a pair of tongs to lift the fart apocalypse in a ball to me. I then poked a hole in the glass, resulting in the farts beginning to leak out as the cracks grew bigger. Before it popped I threw it into the big oven we just finished making, and locked it shut.
"HAHA! YOU FOOLS! THOU SHOULD'EST HAVE JUST THROWN MINE SEAL INTO THE FLAMES OF HELL, AS THOU THREATENED! FOR NOW THAT I, THE INEFFABLE GOD OF FOLLY, SHALL BRING THIS WORLD TO ITS-!"
"Oops! Forgot to turn it on!" I said, before pushing the on button.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
*sniff*
"Ah yes! The unmistakable smell of delicious irony!"
"Hmph! That's what you get for giving me false promises of infinite magic stones, jack ass! Hey, sis, any chance some of that energy we are siphoning off being consumable?" My gluttonous sous-chef asked.
"Have you forgotten the explosive diarrhea from last time! You're allergic to this stuff!"
"Oh, but I'm hungry, and my boss doesn't pay us until next week!" My sous-chef whined, while giving me the puppy eyes.
"What are you lookin at?"
"The boss paid you a lot for this job, right?"
"Sorry, no can do!"
"But why not?"
"Because I'm almost broke thanks to your boss, a pizza guy, and a phantom schmuck with a taste for toast, ruining my plans for infinite money!"
"Hm?"
As my brother looked curiously at me, I came up with a brilliant idea and decided to sell some info I have been keeping in my back pocket for a while now.
"YOU SERIOUSE!? YOU CRACKED THE CODE?!"
"Yup! And if you are willing to pay me a certain amount, I might just tell you how to do it."
"And you promise it's legit?"
"Have I ever misled you before?"
"…?"
"Okay, have I ever been wrong before?"
"…"
"Okay, have I ever been wrong when presenting a scientific theory before!"
"Okay, but I want a refund if your idea doesn't work?"
"Sure! Now, the money?"
"Yeah, yeah! Here you go! Now spill!" My brother said, dropping a shit load of high-grade magic stones on the floor, in spite of the fact that he claimed he was starving for this exact thing moments ago.
If I don't have the cash, then I can just get some investors to chip in. The stuff I have in storage somewhere, along with the playboy's paycheck is only just enough to return my core to its former rank, but if I can get my money printer up and running before someone destroys it again, then screw getting greater spirit status, spirit lord here I come.
"Speaking of storage, I need to go pick it up, along with my kids!" I said, recalling how I had launched most of my fortune into the horizon before getting sidetracked with the frozen pizza alliance.
Using my brain chip to locate my kids, I was caught a little off guard at what those morons had gotten themselves into, in the short couple of months I had neglected them in the woods.
"Huh? Oh! You know! I always thought this might happen, just not to the Wimp! If anything, I would have thought the Slowpoke would have bit that bullet first!"
"WHOA! WHAT THE HELL! WHY IS IT SUDDENLY FLYING?! HEY, MASTER! YOU IN THERE!" I heard my Crybaby exclaim from outside the ship.