Inside the black sedan's soundproofed cabin, Hayasaka Ai—currently disguised as the dashing 'Hayasaka-kun'—stared blankly out the window, her thoughts a chaotic whirlwind.
Did the confession succeed?
The outcome was maddeningly ambiguous. Sakurai Saki hadn't refused, but his agreement had been implied, not stated. She had heard the word "probably" with perfect clarity.
A typical girl might resort to petal-plucking divination in this situation. Not Hayasaka Ai.
Her conclusion was triumphant: It worked! He hadn't rejected the kiss, so the confession itself must have simply overwhelmed him with shyness, triggering his flight! Her confidence in her own appeal was absolute.
It was a trait she shared with Sakurai Saki himself. In their unshakable self-assurance, they were a perfectly matched pair.
'Next… a love hotel,' her thoughts leapt ahead with strategic boldness. Second base had been achieved; a home run was the logical next objective. With her skills, if she pinned him to a bed, his resistance would be… manageable.
And this method was, frankly, optimal.
Had he never heard the saying? 'Cooked rice cannot be uncooked.'
Like him? Confess.
Confession fails? Apply force.
Force fails? Apply more force.
One must not be limited in one's methods of conquest. Persistence is key.
(The legal system's protection for boys was, in her opinion, regrettably insufficient. Many wouldn't speak up, much like victims of bullying. 'Just endure it.' 'Can't you take a step back?' 'Making a big fuss over nothing.' It made her shiver with righteous indignation! When would boys ever stand up for themselves?!)
She withdrew her gaze from the passing cityscape just as the uniformed female driver opened the passenger door.
"…Kaguya-san! Our Pace will sit properly!" Fujiwara Chika's voice chirped from outside, followed by a poorly stifled giggle.
"Ahem!" Hayasaka Ai cleared her throat, catching Kaguya Shinomiya's struggle to maintain composure. How cute. Kaguya-san is still at the level where such a juvenile pun can amuse her.
"Cryo-Sister. What is this black rectangular coffin?" a young, clear voice inquired.
Hayasaka's eyes focused. A familiar face, albeit smaller and framed by childish curiosity. Sakura-chan's younger brother? Did he run off earlier just to fetch him?
Kaguya Shinomiya gracefully entered the sedan. "This is an automobile. A mode of terrestrial transport." Her explanation was delivered with practiced patience before her eyes landed on Hayasaka's male disguise. "Hayasaka. Why are you in this… configuration?"
"Kaguya-san," Hayasaka Ai leaned in, her whisper a mere breath. "A maid's identity cannot be exposed to external guests."
"Eh?! Kaguya-san, who are you talking to?!" Fujiwara Chika clambered into the spacious interior, tugging a reluctant Sakurai behind her. Her eyes landed on Hayasaka-kun and widened. "A… a butler?!"
She leaned closer, squinting. "Kaguya-san's family actually has a live-in butler? So handsome!"
Hayasaka Ai inclined her head, her voice a cultured baritone. "Good evening, Miss Fujiwara. I am an attendant of the Shinomiya household. You may address me as Hasaka." His gaze shifted. "And to our young guest."
"I am Superpower User S01, operating under the disguise 'Human Child.' My progenitor unit is Sakurai Saki. I exhibit high affinity for cake and sugar matrices. My objective for visiting Cryo-Sister's domicile is recreational data gathering," Sakurai recited, his tone flat.
"Hello, little brother!"
The greeting was part of the script Kaguya had hastily drilled into him, though the first half had been heavily… edited.
Hayasaka Ai noted the child's peculiar demeanor but filed it away as eccentricity. Her primary focus was maintaining her own cover.
"Hasaka-kun? You look… really familiar~" Fujiwara Chika's eyes narrowed with suspicion. The face tugged at a recent memory—by the sinks in the hallway?
"I am of Irish immigrant descent, a lineage displaced by famine," Hayasaka-kun replied smoothly, his lie as polished as his shoes. "Facial recognition can be challenging among those of Hibernian ancestry. Do you have many Irish acquaintances, Miss Fujiwara?"
"Hasaka-san does look a bit mixed-race…" Chika mused, almost convinced. "Maybe I was mistaken, sorry~!"
But her secretary's curiosity wasn't fully sated. "But, Hasaka-kun, don't you go to school? At your age… it's important! Wouldn't Kaguya-san be happier if you attended together as a student-attendant?"
Hayasaka-kun's expression softened with a practiced, tragic dignity. "I was orphaned by conflict. Fortunately, my cognitive faculties allowed for accelerated learning. I completed my studies at Harvard through a series of grade skips. Several years ago, while in Japan, the Shinomiya family kindly noticed my…"
Before she could finish this utterly deranged backstory, Kaguya Shinomiya leaned in, her whisper a hiss of pure desperation. "Hayasaka! What absurd lore are you improvising?!"
"Kaguya-san, whatever do you mean?" Hayasaka Ai blinked, the picture of innocent confusion. "Hasaka is simply Hasaka."
Their heads were close together, whispering intently. Fujiwara Chika watched, her hand flying to her mouth, eyes sparkling.
'This is…!'
The phrase "Forbidden Relationship" exploded in her mind in neon letters. Her gossip-hungry soul ignited. She was thrillingly excited! The dynamic between the icy heiress and her tragic, handsome, Harvard-educated butler was a narrative goldmine!
In her feverish excitement, Fujiwara Chika remained blissfully unaware of two critical facts:
1.
The 'butler' had just stolen a march on her in the romantic conquest of Sakurai Saki.
2.
She, herself, had been the one to give the dispirited Hayasaka Ai the final, crucial push to charge ahead.
If she ever learned the truth, the regret would be biblical. For now, however, she was just a thrilled spectator on the sidelines of a drama she had unknowingly written.
But these truths were irrelevant to Fujiwara Chika in this moment. She had transformed into a single-minded gossip-processing unit.
Sakurai, however, had no interest in human melodrama. From the moment the car began moving, he'd been pressed against the window, conducting a silent audit of the outside world.
Rectangular habitats. Carbon-based biological units in chaotic motion. Mobile sarcophagi. Quadrupedal organic maintenance drones…
Once the novelty of the data stream wore off, he turned back to the interior. His gaze landed on Hayasaka Ai and Kaguya Shinomiya, their heads still bent close together in whispered conference.
"Are you two a mating pair?"
YES! Fujiwara Chika's inner fangirl screamed. Good question, little Reiichi!
"No," Hayasaka Ai demurred smoothly, her 'Hasaka-kun' persona flawless. "I am merely an attendant. It would be presumptuous to entertain such sentiments for the young lady." Besides, she thought, this particular young lady is a meddlesome handful with a penchant for interfering in other people's love lives.
This is all your fault, Fujiwara Secretary! Hayasaka attempted to offload a fraction of her guilt onto the unsuspecting girl. Not only had she jumped the queue, but Fujiwara Chika had been the one to fire the starting pistol! Hayasaka couldn't bring herself to look directly at Chika now; a strange, prickling shame held her gaze averted.
I'm sorry. You may have liked him first… but there's only one Sakurai Saki, you see?
I won't yield him to you. Even if it's the top spot in his heart, I intend to claim it for myself.
"How can that be?! The chemistry between you two is so strong!" Fujiwara Chika lamented, utterly oblivious to the internal treachery. Had she known, she might have begun a solemn recitation of the White Album Holy Scriptures right there in the backseat.
"Chemistry?" Kaguya Shinomiya's eyebrow twitched. It was… adequate. Except when Hayasaka willfully ignored her advice. Like at noon! She'd given a clear order to confess, and Hayasaka had countered with a litany of timid excuses!
…Wait. The thought crystallized. Did Hayasaka's confession succeed?
She hadn't actually asked for the result. But judging by Hayasaka's current, relatively stable state… it must have! Which meant her revenge against Sakurai Saki could now be outsourced! Excellent!
Kaguya Shinomiya's Internal Council of War was now in session.
Kaguya (Idiot): Sakurai is formidable. Perhaps we should just… let it go?
Kaguya (Ice): LET IT GO? UNACCEPTABLE. The humiliations of last year must be repaid in full!
Kaguya (Child): But we can't out-argue him! He even beats us in physical contests!
Kaguya (Ice): All surrender faction members! OUT! Get out of this conference room! Waaah~ (sobbing) Out! Out! (floods the room with tears)
Kaguya (Child): D-don't cry!
In reality, Kaguya Shinomiya's eyes refocused, a new realization dawning. Even if Hayasaka did help her—retorting on her behalf, or even defeating Sakurai in some contest—it would be a victory for the Shinomiya Family's retainer, not for Kaguya Shinomiya herself. The personal stain would remain.
"Kaguya-san," Fujiwara Chika pressed, her voice hushed with scandalized delight. "Are you and Hasaka-kun… not getting along?"
"Our rapport is sufficient. However, I do not perceive him as male. I still prefer her female presentation." Kaguya stated the plain, unvarnished truth. She usually saw Hayasaka as a girl. It was simpler.
"…Eh?" Fujiwara Chika's brain short-circuited.
P-perceives him as… female? Kaguya-san… is into girls?
Hayasaka Ai noticed the catastrophic misunderstanding blooming on Chika's face but chose not to correct it. A small, enigmatic smile played on 'Hasaka-kun's' lips.
This only deepened Chika's confusion. She pointed at the handsome 'butler,' then at the elegant young lady. "A girl… sees a girl…? EH?!"
The relationship dynamics were becoming impenetrably, wonderfully complex. Chika's imagination went into overdrive.
"Can two female units form a reproductive partnership?" Sakurai interjected at that precise moment, his clinical curiosity slicing through the tension.
A heavy silence dropped over the three girls.
Several seconds passed.
Pfft—! Chika-chan clapped a hand over her nose, as if stemming an imaginary torrent. "H-How thrilling…" she mumbled, her mind now conjuring an unstoppable slideshow of forbidden narratives—the cross-dressing butler, the cool beauty, a hidden romance within the gilded cage of the Shinomiya estate…
"Ahem. We have arrived." Hayasaka Ai's voice, crisp and professional, cut through the burgeoning fantasy. She gazed out the window at the imposing silhouette of the Shinomiya residence approaching like a fortified castle.
"Kaguya-sama, Fujiwara-sama, Sakurai-sama," she announced, seamlessly sliding back into her role. "Please, disembark."
She pulled open the heavy car door, letting in the cool evening air and the silent, watchful presence of the mansion, a perfect stage for the night's inevitable, beautifully awkward complications.
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