The summer I was six, I thought I was invincible. I had just finished swimming lessons, and in my mind, that meant I was officially the best swimmer in the world. So when I saw the older kids jumping into the deep end, walking across the bottom of the pool, and surfacing past the rope, I didn't hesitate. I wanted to do what they were doing.
The deep end was ten feet. At six years old, that number doesn't mean much, until you're in it. I jumped in, pushed off the bottom like I'd seen them do, and started to lose momentum fast. I wasn't close to the surface, and suddenly ten feet felt endless. I remember looking toward the lifeguard, hoping someone had noticed me struggling. But he was distracted, talking to a group of older girls, and I realized with a sinking fear that no one was watching. Panic set in. I kicked and clawed at the water, but my body was giving out. I remember the moment I took that first breath underwater. It burned. Every part of me seized up. I gasped again. The pain was sharp, and then—
Everything went black. Then I saw myself. I was looking down at my own body, suspended in the water. There was a light in the distance, bright, warm, and peaceful. It didn't scare me. It felt like home. I felt completely separate from the fear I'd just experienced.
Then, just as suddenly, I was awake. I was back in my body, lying on the edge of the pool, coughing up water. There was a woman standing above me. I didn't know her. She looked calm, almost serene. She didn't say anything. She was just there. I was embarrassed, I didn't want anyone to know what had happened. So I stood up, and I walked away.
When I turned back to look for her… she was gone. There was nowhere she could've gone that fast. No one saw her leave. In fact, no one had even noticed what happened at all. The lifeguard was still talking, still laughing with the girls. No one else at the pool seemed to know I had almost drowned. Or that I had left my body. I told my mom what happened. I told her I died.
She didn't believe me, of course. How could she? I was standing there, breathing, alive. But I knew the truth. I still do. I don't know who that woman was. I don't know why I came back. But something happened that day, something real. And it stayed with me. Not just the fear, but the feeling that I was seen. That someone, or something, sent help.