It had been a very long day, all the adults weren't home. Just so you know I never called my brother an adult and deep down he is not. Everyone knows it. They were gone to bank, I don't know the details. My elder brother was having a get together with his school buddies. I am still surprised he is in touch with them, I mean he passed out almost four years ago. Makes me wonder am I gonna be in touch with my school friends so many years after graduation or if this food obsessed group would just exist in our memories. Somewhere years later, all of us will part, follow different roads in our lives, become different people, move to cities or even different countries, take up different careers, so what are the odds of us still being together laughing at each other's jokes, roasting each other, listening to each other. It feels sad and almost painful to think that someday all of us will part and this group will just exist in our old nostalgic memories.
Yet what I find different about this group that despite knowing these moments we spend together might not matter. Might not bind us forever, I wanna be here. Laughing and crying with them. It feels like one place I belong in.
This feeling deep in my chest makes me remember the very thing I tried forgetting. The true essence of friendship. If fate wants it I will be there even years later talking to them. And this feeling is more than just an emotion, a thought, it feels like my resolve to keep on pushing forward and to keep on talking and texting them. I am done distancing myself, I am done being invisible, I am done hiding, I am done just existing. This is my new life and I am gonna live it to my fullest. I will atone myself and one day become worthy of this chance God has given me.
Just then my phone buzzed.
'Hi!' (Siddhant had messaged me)
'Yo!'
'What are you doing?'
'Nothing important.'
'Can you help me with the holiday homework?'
'Sure, where do you need help.'
'Everywhere.'
'Okay let's meet at the library.'
'K'
'When?'
'Are you free?'
'Yup!'
'Well, then let's meet right now. I think we should start with something easy like Bio.'
'Zology or Botany?'
'Which one do you prefer?'
'Zology.'
'Fine. I am leaving.'
'Same here.'
Before wearing my shoes and leaving I decided to tell Moksh that I was going. So I went in his room, paused his anime and told him I was going out. He was like oh, ok just let me watch. Younger brothers can be such a handful sometimes. Huh!
"I am leaving."
"Just leave already."
The walk to the library wasn't very long. I was there before I had known it. I texted Siddhant asking him where he was. A minute or two later he arrived. Obviously with his study material.
We sat down in the library and I started explaining him the chapter inheritance. He is smart I can see that but I personally feel he is the one who has a buisness mindset.
After a whole hour of me trying to explain and him trying to learn. We agreed on taking a break.
There was a park just infront of the library and for now the place we had decided to go, nothing much just a small walk to refresh us. It was still five so we had plenty of time. We entered the park.
It was a little chilly evening, something not often expected in summers especially in NCR (near capital region). As summers are extremely hot here. There were a few kids playing. Their laughter echoing through the park followed by the sound of swings moving back and forth. As we were walking I saw beautiful Marigolds, Hibiscus and Jasmine blooming in the park, making the air smell lovely.
"Hey, Chandni! You have been a great help."
"Sure. Not like I have anything better to do."
"That's nice of you to say."
"Oh."
I had a feeling he wanted to say something to me but really wasn't. But rushing him was definately not gonna do me any good so I walked along patiently waiting for him to open up.
"You see, my parents aren't home much."
"Hmph."
"I spent most of my time alone or watching TV as a kid."
"That must be hard."
"You know, not many kids have phone."
"I understand."
"But I have always been extroverted in nature. Okay..... I think I should cut to the chase. The thing is do you think I am too clingy?"
"No. Why would I? Did someone say anything to you?"
"No it's nothing like that."
"No there is something you ain't telling me."
"The other day, I had a huge fight with Aarush."
"What was it about?"
"I was just snooping in his stuff and he got really mad."
"Tell me the whole thing."
"So generally it's Aarush who helps me study and help me do my holiday homework. We were at his place and I started looking for his Physics copy and then I just got a little curious and started messing with his bag. There was this diary or journal should I call it. I hadn't even opend it and he saw me and started yelling at me. He said that I am always messing with other's stuff and always too clingy and even a little creepy. That I never mind my buisness and keep on bugging everyone, that I am a real drag and I should be grateful that he was even becoming my friend and if I learned to respect people's stuff I might actually be liked by people."
"You shouldn't have touched his stuff without his permission."
"I know."
"He loses his temper pretty quickly sometimes and says bad stuff that he doesn't even mean."
"Don't people say the truth when they are furious the truth they generally hide because it might hurt others."
"Look that's not always the case. For example, when my elder brother gets mad at anyone he says that he doesn't care about them and they are all just trying to control him but he never means that. And besides, not everyone or anyone is perfect we all have flaws and that is the beauty of being human you make mistakes sometimes time and time again but eventually you learn not to make them. The same way a toddler stumbles many a times before learning to walk. We stumbled many a times before learning from our mistakes."
"I'll apologise to him."