Edo, East District Port.
Sakata Gintoki lightly shook the blood off his long sword and breathed out a puff of bad air. Around him lay, scattered and disorganized, strangely shaped members of the Harusame pirate group.
Some had octopus heads, some had dog heads, and some just had giant onions for heads. They were as weird as could be.
But more than these pirates, what really made Sakata Gintoki feel strange was his partner. The guy holding a long sword, standing not far away, Mr. Kotaro Katsura.
This guy was wearing a flashy outfit from Hyakka, with his smooth legs exposed. The area below his nose was covered by a mask, and he had a big bow tied on his head, looking like a freak of nature.
Sakata Gintoki didn't even dare look at him directly, afraid his sanity would drop fast.
Putting his sword back in its sheath, Sakata Gintoki opened the group chat and sent a message: Hmph. Looks like these guys are just small fry. They don't even know where their headquarters is. Katsura, did you find anything on your side?
Wig Guy: It's not Wig, it's Katsura! I didn't find anything either. These guys didn't even know where to find good DVD stores in space.
Machete Girl: ?
Skirt-Flipping Maniac: DVD stores? What are you talking about?
Curly-haired Guy: You're hopeless. You're completely hopeless! You perverted old creep!
Wig Guy: Not a creep, but an admirer! Anyway, we're not far from each other, so why are we talking in the group chat?
Curly-haired Guy: Don't you even know why?
Wig Guy: Oh, I see. Gintoki, are you jealous?
Curly-haired Guy: Jealous of what? Who would be jealous of you? [Image]
Doujin Artist: Whoa! Katsura, you...
Amegakure Village's Angel: Just by looking at the picture, I can't even tell if Katsura is a man or a woman.
Loud-mouthed guy in a suit: Ooh la la! Very cute! This lovely lady, would you like to go on a sweet date with me? @Wig Guy.
Wig Guy: ?
Pretty Boy from Skull Island: Deadpool, calm down, he's a guy.
Loud-mouthed guy in a suit: I don't care. I don't think it matters at all. What does it matter if he's a man or a woman? Cute is good, cute is justice!
Curly-haired Guy: That's right, cute is justice! I support you! Katsura, quickly agree to this polite and humble gentleman! Go to the other side, go and enjoy life in the other side of the world!
Wig Guy: I refuse! My country and my people still need me. I can't give them up to enjoy myself!
Curly-haired Guy: They don't need you, not at all. Trust me, Katsura. This country and these people want you to leave, the farther the better! Nobody wants you causing trouble here!
Wig Guy: No, I won't leave! The folks at the trap bar are still waiting for me.
Curly-haired Guy: What the heck is a trap bar? Don't you have any shame? You're a man, but you're willing to do that kind of thing to please other men? How disgusting, you jerk!
Loud-mouthed guy in a suit: Hey, bro! Can someone explain to me what a trap bar is?
Lin Fengjiao: Like Gintoki said, it's a place where guys dress as girls to please other guys.
Loud-mouthed guy in a suit: Fuck! Why don't we have those here? This isn't right, this isn't right at all! Why doesn't the USA have this kind of heartwarming service?
Skirt-Flipping Maniac: The USA has plenty of heartwarming services. Aren't the daily shootings enough?
Loud-mouthed guy in a suit: Hahaha, that's true! If the USA didn't have shootings, it would be like birds without wings or fish without gills.
Doujin Artist: What kind of strange analogy is that?
Machete Girl: In other words, people in the USA can't live without shootings, right?
Shark-Faced Guy: Following that analogy, wouldn't that be like Gintoki without his butt?
This is an Actor: Not bad, Kisame. You've learned to make analogies now. You've really grown.
Curly-haired Guy: Grown my butt, why are you using me as an analogy? Do you think I'm easy to pick on?
Shark-Faced Guy: It's not that you're easy to pick on. It's that you said you could live just by using your butt, right?
Curly-haired Guy: Please stop. I admit I was young and didn't know how cruel the world was back then. You guys turned it into a joke. Damn it!
Loud-mouthed guy in a suit: To be fair, bro. I think you're totally right. You really can live by using your butt! Of course, it depends on how you use your butt.
This is an Actor: ?
Amegakure Village's Angel: Are there different ways to use it?
Loud-mouthed guy in a suit: Of course, of course there are different ways to use it. I have a friend named Wolverine, you know him, right? He used his stinky butt to earn money for decades! That's right, decades! But I don't recommend anyone try his method. After all, not everyone can use their butt to open durians.
Machete Girl: Pfft.
Doujin Artist: Open a durian with your butt, what kind of godlike skill is that?
Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Deadpool, are you just messing around? That's the worst thing anyone has ever said about Wolverine!
Curly-haired Guy: If Wolverine heard that, he'd probably crack your head open!
Pretty Boy from Skull Island: Is Wolverine a name or a species?
This is an Actor: It's just a name, it has nothing to do with your species.
Pretty Boy from Skull Island: Got it.
Loud-mouthed guy in a suit: Hahahaha, are you kidding me? Wolverine crack my head open? Tell him to come try. His cat claws are only good for picking earwax!
Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Well, he's not in the group chat, so you can say whatever you want.
Loud-mouthed guy in a suit: Crap, I'm not bragging! I'm telling the truth! The best superhero of this century never lies!
Doujin Artist: That statement is already a lie, dummy.
Skirt-Flipping Maniac: What "best of this century" are you talking about? Just in your USA, or in every dimension? You probably wouldn't even make the list in every dimension, and you might not even make the list in your own USA. The strongest is probably the Avengers, right?
Machete Girl: I think the Hulk could kill you in a second.
Loud-mouthed guy in a suit: Bullshit! You're insulting me! Those Avengers carrying their lunches can be considered heroes? Do you believe me when I say one fart from me would kill them all? Yes, just one fart!
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