Reynolds paused at the threshold of the room as he glanced back.
"You looked at your new enhancements?"
"Yeah. I did."
"Good. Then you already know. Nothing more to explain then."
Vastarael pushed himself up slightly and inclined his head.
"Thank you for everything."
Reynolds chuckled, already turning away.
"It's nothing. Helping a fellow transmigrator isn't some grand act of charity. You were about to ask about people like us, weren't you?"
Vastarael hesitated, then nodded again.
"Later. Right now, you rest. You might be stronger but fatigue doesn't disappear just because your status screen looks better. Your body is still adjusting to the Sucking Void. Push it, and even you'll break. Sleep, Vastarael."
He left. The soft sound of his footsteps faded until the cabin was quiet again.
Vastarael lay back against the bed and stared at the ceiling. After a moment, he lifted both arms and stretched them upward as if reaching for something that wasn't there.
He didn't feel a thing.
The movement was smooth and effortless. There was no stiffness, resistance or pain. His arms obeyed him perfectly but they were hollow. It felt like they belonged to someone else.
"So that's how it is now."
He flexed his hands again, rotating his wrists, clenching and unclenching his fingers. He could see the muscles shift beneath his skin. If he didn't know better, he would have believed they were the same arms he always had.
If he ever went back like this, Narisva would lose her mind. Adelasta would be furious, trying to hide it behind that cold, shattered composure of hers. Elyonari would look at him with that quiet, wounded disappointment that hurt worse than any anger. They wouldn't yell at him. They wouldn't need to. The silence would do the job just fine.
He swallowed and let his arms fall back onto the bed.
He wouldn't feel someone holding his hand anymore or the subtle reassurance of skin against skin. Heat and cold meant nothing to these arms now. Fire could lick at his fingers and ice could crawl up his forearms, and it would all be the same. He would feel nothing.
Hugging someone… half of it would be gone. The thought lingered longer than he expected.
"At least the one Asenane made could still feel."
That arm had been weird at times. But it was alive. It had reminded him that he was still tethered to the world in some small, fragile way. Now even that was gone. He let out a dry scoff and turned his head to the side.
"I survived again. Guess I should be grateful."
He hadn't died. That alone was supposed to be enough. It always was, wasn't it?
And Reynolds said the arms were indestructible. They wouldn't break. They wouldn't fail. He never had to worry about losing them again. He would never have to train them, feel exhaustion or strain in them. They would always be exactly as they were now. Thankfully, they were extremely strong so he didn't have to worry about getting stronger. And since they were connected to him now, they would grow and develop but they didn't have nerves and receptors.
There was comfort in that. Somewhere.
He snapped his fingers experimentally. There was a sound but there was no sensation in it. It was just the echo of noise in an otherwise silent body.
"I don't even know what I'm supposed to feel about this. Cry? Laugh? Pretend it doesn't matter?"
Maybe he should be sad. Maybe he should mourn the fact that he would never feel another hand squeeze his own, feel someone's warmth fully when they leaned into him or even feel the unconscious comfort of touch that everyone else took for granted.
But instead, he just lay there. After a moment, he scoffed again, softer this time.
"Be glad you're alive, Vastarael. That's the rule. That's always been the rule."
High risk, high reward. Destiny has been very clear about that.
He lifted one arm again and traced a rune in the air above him. He didn't feel the flow of energy or he shape of the rune forming beneath his fingertips.
The Sleep Rune settled into place.
"Well, this is the price of saving everyone. Meh, I've been through worse. This is nothing."
The rune activated and sleep claimed him.
He did not know that far across the meadow, beyond the gentle slopes and grazing animals, someone we clutching at their chest as a wave of pain that was not their own tore through them.
°°°°°°°
He found himself back in Thyrexxa's domain. Only now, instead of her, he saw the Primordial of Destiny herself, perched casually in the belvedere. Her golden hair spilled down on the water acting as a floor.
Vastarael settled into the seat opposite her. He leaned back slightly and allowed a small, wry smirk to curl on his lips.
"You know, you really are an insufferable bitch."
Sunshine, in turn, didn't flinch. Instead, a faint, amused smile spread across her face.
"Thanks. But I imagine you've gained a lot from it, haven't you? You're a Fourth Enlightenment Divine, Omniphage no longer gnaws at your body with constant pain, Ninth Star Mage, you've certainly come a long way, Vastarael. Losing the sense of touch in your arms is insignificant, really. At least you haven't lost sight, smell, taste or even your ability to feel the world through other means. You're whole in more ways than one."
"Insignificant, huh?" he said, stretching out his prosthetic arms. "I suppose it could be worse. You're right, I still have my senses elsewhere. And, thankfully, I can still have sex. If you really made me lose that, I would not be so casual with you."
"You're blessed in ways you may not yet understand. Even my actions, as… unpleasant as they may appear, are Destiny. Everything you endure builds toward reward. Destiny works with a strange sort of justice. Everything bad that happens to you is always met with tenfold reward later. That is the balance I maintain. Fate doesn't do that."
He nodded slowly, sipping the cup of tea she had left for him, tasting it as it ran down his throat.
"You make it sound like losing my arms, my sense of touch and the near-death experience in the Sucking Void is all just part of some plan."
"You see, Vastarael, I don't operate out of cruelty. I operate out of consequence and alignment. Your suffering is not meaningless. It refines, strengthens and prepares you for what is to come. You are meant to endure before reward. That is your fate. That is your Destiny. And yes, I admit, my methods… seem harsh. But believe me, I could have done far worse. You're fortunate that I do not meddle in trivialities."
"And Thyrexxa? Where is she?"
"She's out talking to Existence. Primordial duties. Anyway, back to you. The Hidden Citadel of what your mother documented is merely the surface. The main city is only a fraction of the reality you are about to engage. There are layers, floors, realms, creatures, transmigrators and mysteries beyond your comprehension. And yet, you will face them. Alone, for now."
"Alone?"
Even though he asked, he knew why. His Bane and Destiny, tangled with the unavoidable complications of having four women around him including his daughters. made any attempt to carry them along perilous. Every step would spiral out of control if he wasn't careful.
"Yes. Alone, in the sense that the burden of understanding and surviving the Hidden Citadel's depths rests on you. Your daughters and beloveds are parts of your life, but the core of this journey is yours. You cannot delegate it. You cannot rely on anyone else to carry this weight. And yes, your Bane, oh the chaos it will bring. You have four of them, Vastarael. You will feel the full force of it. That is why I guided you with Asenane. That was part of the plan. This one you call her… she is a catalyst of sorts."
"You're helping me even if you can't stop my Destiny from taking effect."
"Of course. I cannot alter Destiny's weight but I can guide, advise and ensure the burden sharpens you rather than breaks you. You are exceptional, Vastarael. I understand why Thyrexxa favors you so highly. You are… fun to watch. Heed my advice, little one. Go alone after leaving the Sucking Void."
Vastarael nodded slowly, rising from the seat.
"Then I will do my best. I'm not thanking you though."
Sunshine inclined her head.
"Do not forget, Vastarael, that everything you endure now are shaping the man who will emerge from this. You will be tested beyond measure.and yet, you will endure. And when the time comes, the reward will be greater than you imagine."
He groaned before he vanished, Sunshine watched the space he had occupied.
"Yes… this one is fun to watch. Let's hope my older sister of mine doesn't hate me too much for what I said to him."