Sheldon Cooper's day had proceeded within acceptable parameters until he observed the anomalous data point in the building's lobby: a moving van, and several unsecured cardboard boxes stacked near the mailboxes, violating fire code 31.2. He catalogued it as a low-priority environmental disruption and proceeded to his door.
The disruption, however, was multiplicative. At his threshold, the visual and auditory noise increased significantly. A young woman stood amidst a sea of clutter and boxes, her blonde hair in a disarrayed state he classified as "high-entropy."
She turned. "Oh, hi!"
Sheldon stood perfectly still, awaiting the social protocol subroutine to load. 'I see. It's that day today.'
"I'm Penny. I'm moving in across the hall." She gestured with a thumb.
"Hello. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. I reside here with a colleague." He indicated his door. "Welcome to the building. Should you require assistance understanding the mechanics of the building, I am occasionally available, schedule permitting. Good day."
He turned to insert his key, the interaction officially terminated to his satisfaction.
As he sat down after completing his rituals, he heard a knock.
"Enter."
Penny's head popped through the open door and she said, "Hey, uhh, I actually have a huge problem. My water's not on. Like, at all. The super said it might be hours. I'm all gross from moving. Is there any way… I could maybe use your shower?"
Sheldon rotated back, his face a mask of analytical dismay. He assessed her: signs of perspiration, dust particulate on her clothing, a genuine state of distress. He then cross-referenced his own schedule and domestic status.
"My bathroom is currently unoccupied. The window was opened a few minutes ago for optimal air exchange, and I have no biological requirements for the facility for the next three hours and fifteen minutes." He paused, weighing the imposition against the plea made by someone in clear distress. "I see no reason to deny. You may use the shower. Follow me."
He led a baffled but grateful Penny inside, provided a clean towel, and gave precise instructions on the operation of the dual-temperature control faucets. He then retreated to the living room, putting on a recording of a lecture on quantum chromodynamics to mask the auditory irregularity.
Twenty-two minutes later, Penny emerged, wrapped in the towel, her hair damp. She looked emotionally turbulent.
"Thank you so, so much," she said, sinking onto the couch opposite him without invitation. "You have no idea. This day… my life is just a mess. My car's a death trap, my ex-boyfriend Kurt who my TV, and now my dream of being an actress is basically over and I'm waiting tables at a chain restaurant!"
Sheldon paused the lecture. He recognized a cortisol dump when he saw one. He had not offered a therapeutic ear, but he listened. As a former physician, he could not, in good conscience, ignore a clear distress signal.
"Chamomile tea has mild anxiolytic properties," he stated, rising and heading to the kitchen. He returned with a precisely steeped cup. "Your chosen career is bound to be a struggle, as it is for most of the actors. The service industry offers flexible scheduling, which would allow you to continue auditioning. As for the parasitic ex-boyfriend, his theft constitutes a felony. I can assist you in filing a police report later this week, if you wish."
Penny stared at him, then at the tea, and let out a wet laugh. "You're the weirdest nice person I've ever met."
"That is a sound assessment," he agreed, sipping his own water.
It was at this moment the apartment door opened, and Leonard Hofstadter entered, clutching a bag of groceries.
He saw Penny on the couch, in a towel, drinking tea with Sheldon. His neural functions appeared to short-circuit. His mouth opened, but only a faint, high-pitched squeak emerged. He blinked rapidly, his grip tightening on the grocery bag, producing a worrisome crinkling sound.
"Sheldon… wha… I… hi?" he finally managed, his eyes locked on Penny.
Sheldon observed Leonard's system failure with a sigh. "Leonard, this is our new neighbor, Penny. Penny, this is my roommate, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter. He appears to be experiencing a temporary syntactic malfunction, likely due to the unexpected presence of an unfamiliar female in our apartment."
Penny smiled, waving a little. "Hi."
Leonard emitted another squeak. He attempted to speak, gestured vaguely with the groceries, and succeeded only in knocking a framed picture of the Cooper family askew with his elbow.
Sheldon straightened the frame with a precise movement. "To summarize the preceding twenty-eight minutes: Penny's water supply was inoperative. She required ablutions after a day of moving. I provided access to our bathroom facilities and, subsequently, a beverage. She has been relating a narrative of personal and professional setbacks. Your arrival coincides with the emotional dénouement."
Leonard, finally finding a neural pathway that connected to his vocal cords, whispered, "You let her use our shower?"
"It was the logical course of action. The bathroom was a non-critical resource, and her need was acute. The alternative was a disgruntled neighbor, which decreases harmony."
Penny stood up, holding the towel securely. "Well, I should go get dressed. Thank you again, Sheldon. Really. You're a lifesaver."
She headed for the door, offering Leonard a final, dazzling smile that seemed to reboot his system all over again.
The door closed behind her. Leonard stood frozen, the groceries forgotten.
"She was… on our couch."
"Correct."
"In a towel."
"An accurate observation. 5 stars for your alliteration."
"And you just… made her tea and listened?"
"She was experiencing acute stress. The tea was a palliative. The listening seemed more appropriate than simply asking her to leave. It's common decency. Her attire was of no consequence."
Leonard finally moved, putting the groceries down slowly, as if in a dream. "She's our new neighbor."
"Indeed. And I have already performed the requisite courtesy." Sheldon returned to his seat, pulling his notebook closer. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lecture on Bose-Einstein condensates to prepare for easily impressed freshmen. And you, Leonard, appear to require a few moments to… recalibrate. Please, stop acting like a puppy longing for its mother."
Leonard balked, by Sheldon ignored him. He stared at the door, a goofy, hopeless smile spreading across his face. Sheldon shook his head. There was a high probability of persistent disruptions in Leonard's cognitive processing in near future.