Deep down, I knew this was how it would end. What did I expect? I lost, not just to anyone, but to a new summon. So much for experience giving me an edge.....What a loser.
After the duel last week, Ryo isolated himself in his room, lost in thought. He ate, slept, and waited for the next day, as if the resolve he had when he arrived in this new world was completely crushed. He had become aimless, just drifting through each day.
"Ryo? Are you there?" Mei knocked softly on his door, Ravenna beside her, looking concerned. "He only opens the door for meals. He hasn't left since… that day."
"Hey! If you can hear me, why won't you respond? Don't tell me one loss is enough to bring you down like this. If so, that's pretty pathetic…" She paused, taking a breath before continuing. "Look, it was just a mock duel. You may have been off your game due to all the pressure. Next month, you can do better. No one expects you to be a genius."
Silence.
"This is getting frustrating. We have bigger issues to deal with than your pride. If you're worried about it, man up and challenge him again. Hiding won't help!"
"Easy for you to say. You think you know everything about me, don't you? That's disgusting. Don't pretend you understand me, princess." Ryo's sharp words cut deep, catching her off guard.
"Hey, I didn't mean to—"
"Save it. Go back to your room, it's almost eight. It's not appropriate for a lady to be here at this hour." As she withdrew her arm from the door, she turned away without a word, but just then he spoke up.
"And you're right—why would anyone expect anything from me? I'm not some main character in a shonen manga or some prodigy. I wouldn't expect anything from myself either. Who do you think I am?"
His words hung heavy in the air, With that, she turned away, and she left silently, pain etched on her face. Ravenna watched Mei closely as she returned to her own room, hoping Ryo might reconsider.
"Well that's, that." He said, facing the other way from his bed as he tried to fall asleep.
†
It was still late at night when Ryo found himself unable to sleep. He stepped outside his room, and Ravenna, taken aback to see him out at this hour, wondered if he might finally be emerging from his slump.
"Sir, are you—"
"Go rest," he interrupted sharply. "It's late. Haven't your legs grown tired from standing outside my door? You're a lady, not a machine. I'll say it again: go rest. You're not needed right now."
Her expression shifted to confusion, but the fact that Ryo had left his room on his own offered a glimmer of hope. Just as she was about to respond, he ruffled his hair in frustration and added a quiet, "Tch... damn maid."
"Okay, I'll do as you say, sir," she replied softly before retreating.
Ryo decided to take a walk to clear his mind, seeking solace in the cool night air. Each step helped distance him from the weight of his thoughts. He wasn't angry; rather, he was deeply disappointed in everything he had done thus far. The more he reflected, the more foolish he felt.
He wandered into a beautiful open garden, where a fountain graced the center, surrounded by statues of flowers. Just as he passed the fountain, Ryo's gaze fell upon someone sitting on a nearby bench. Instantly, annoyance washed over him, causing his heart to sink.
Why now? Of all people, it had to be you here, didn't it?
The boy on the bench, none other than his recent opponent, was shirtless, towel draped casually over his shoulder, and meticulously cleaning his long sword. He seemed to be training. Ryo contemplated leaving, fearing that staying would further deteriorate his state of mind. Yet before he could turn away, the boy spoke up.
"Hey, you! You're the guy I fought, right?" His piercing golden eyes locked onto Ryo's, reminiscent of a predator sizing up its prey. With a gentle breeze tousling his brown hair, the moonlight glinted off his sword. "That was an amazing battle. You were so strong, I honestly didn't think I could win at all," he said, his usual cold demeanor giving way to a soft smile.
Stop it. Don't say any more...
Ryo wanted nothing more than to escape, his thoughts screaming for him to go anywhere but here. But the boy continued, oblivious to his discomfort. "I used to practice kendo, so I'm pretty good with swords like this one. Even so, getting accustomed to a European sword has been a challenge, and I didn't quite get the hang of it. But when we faced off, it felt like everything clicked. In that moment, all I could think about was winning, yet you sure didn't make it easy."
Though the boy's words seemed innocent enough, to Ryo it felt like each one was a blade cutting deep into his chest, enveloping him in a painful reminder of defeat.
Ryo's mind raced as clarity dawned on him, each revelation cutting deeper than the last.
Of course, that makes perfect sense, This guy....
he thought, the weight of understanding pressing heavily on his chest. There was no other viable explanation: he was standing in the shadow of a prodigy. A genius whose talent shone so brightly that a nobody like him could never hope to compete. There were vast chasms between them, chasms too wide to bridge, even in the recesses of his own mind. It was laughable, really. Just a cruel joke, and he, the punchline.
A hollow smile crept onto Ryo's face, a ghost of joy that was entangled with pain and despair. It was the kind of smile that a bullied child might wear, forced to mask his suffering with humor. He felt as if he were being toyed with by the very hands of fate, manipulated at the hands of someone who didn't even know the game they were playing. The boy standing before him, oblivious to the turmoil inside Ryo, broke the fragile silence. "By the way, I didn't catch your name. Mine's Fujita Tadashi."
Shut up!
Ryo's inner voice belted the command, a desperate plea for silence. But Tadashi continued to prattle on, his cheerful chatter grating on Ryo's frayed nerves. For someone who had initially come across as self-absorbed, he certainly had a knack for filling the air with noise, an incessant stream of words that only added to Ryo's spiraling frustration.
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
The thought echoed in his mind like an unrelenting drumbeat, drowning out everything else.
And then, with a seemingly innocent comment, Tadashi delivered the final blow, "Hey, after that day, I haven't seen you at the training grounds. You okay?" The words were meant kindly, a sentiment anyone might express, but for Ryo, they felt deeply patronizing. They rubbed salt into wounds that were still raw and throbbing.
Before he could process his own reaction, Ryo's legs propelled him forward, almost as if they had minds of their own. He ran, but from what? From whom? He didn't know, nor did he care. The world around him blurred, his breaths morphed into ragged gasps, and sheer panic etched itself into his features. He ran until distance encased him, leaving behind the boy who had unknowingly pushed him over the edge.
Mei, who had been observing the encounter from a distance, felt her heart drop. In an instant, she was off after Ryo, fear and concern propelling her forward.
Why? Why? Why?
The questions spiraled through Ryo's mind, an endless loop of anxiety and regret. I never want to feel like this again. Why did I even leave my room? Damn it! His thoughts crashed over him like waves, drowning him in despair until he stumbled into a secluded corner, a dark hall, where only a sliver of light from the three moons pierced the shadows, illuminating his isolation.
In the dim corner of the hall, Ryo huddled with his hands clasped over his head, the weight of fear pressing down on him like a heavy shroud. He felt like a lost child, retreating from the world. But then, amidst the shadows, a figure emerged in a halo of moonlight. Her features were illuminated, each line and curve ethereal, as if she had stepped out of a dream. As their eyes met, he saw a profound pain masked by her gentle smile, making her look even more hauntingly beautiful.
Mei.
She reached out her hand, a beacon piercing through the darkness that enveloped him. "Come back," her gaze seemed to say, urging him to step into the light. As she wrapped her arms around him, warmth seeped into his frozen heart, a confusion mingling with an undeniable sense of safety. Why would she do this? Questions flooded his mind, but the sincerity in her embrace drowned them out. Her lips parted softly, a tender whisper escaping. "Let's talk, Ryo."