I frantically checked both my daughter and Ryder. "Baby cakes…"
Matteo cut me off. "They are fine," he said, and I looked up at him. "I didn't do anything to them."
"Give me back, Leo," I said.
I was not leaving this place without him.
Not now, not ever.
And I had a plan to make sure that was going to happen.
It was to go in alone because I didn't want Matteo to lose what little mind he had left and kill them all.
Which, seeing it now, was kind of unlikely, but you never know with him.
This didn't need to blow up any more than it already has.
But if anything went wrong, I had Daniel and Thomas ready.
And of course, this was hard to get through Daniel's head as he screamed at me, because he didn't want me to go alone; he wanted to come with me.
He didn't want his family to be in any more danger.
But I explained to him that it would be okay.
Everything would be okay.
"Where are Gianna and Zayne?" I asked.
"They are fine," he said, slowly blinking at me.
The fact that he was so nonchalant about this whole thing genuinely made me so fucking angry; I was seeing red, as the world was spinning, and I held my gun steadily.
"Give me back, Leo," I repeated.
"Nope, we had a deal," Matteo said, touching Leo's face. "Stop fucking touching him!" I screamed.
"Calm down," Matteo said, laughing.
Calm down?
You want me to fucking calm down right now?
No fucking way you want me to calm down!
You took my daughter.
My fiancé.
And my best fucking friend.
You took my friend's wife, husband, and two kids.
And you got the nerve to tell me to CALM DOWN?!!
Fucking bitch.
I looked down at Ryder.
What the fuck did he give you, baby?
"Sugar plum, please look after Ryder," I said, letting go of him and walking closer to Matteo with my gun drawn.
"You are shaking; are you scared?" he asked as I got closer and closer to him.
"Shaking with anger," I said, and I felt my eyes twitch.
I am dead tired, and I don't have time for this shit.
I walked closer to him and put the gun to his forehead, and he just laughed.
This crazy fucking bitch.
This is why you don't fuck with crazy people.
I think I always learn my lesson, but I always come back to them.
"Give him back," I said. That was the final time I was going to say that.
He grabbed my gun and pulled it down slowly. "We had a deal," he said.
I raised my eyebrow. "What did I tell you about cryptic fucking shit, Matteo?" I said, looking at him sideways. God, why haven't I blown his brains out yet?
"I am so fucking tired, tired beyond words. I have been running all around the city trying to find your dumb ass because you sent me on some wild goose chase. I am tired, and I am DONE." I took a deep breath. "Just give me Leo before I end this once and for all." I put the gun back on his forehead.
"You wouldn't."
"I would," I said with a smile.
He smirked at me. "In front of your own daughter? You wouldn't."
I didn't even have to look back to know her eyes were staring at me, staring at the terrible fucking monster that was her father.
He called my bluff.
He knew I wouldn't do it.
Not in front of Isabella.
Not in front of Ryder.
Not in front of the Lord.
"See," he said, grabbing my gun and lowering it again. "You are weak; if you were just like me, killing me wouldn't be a problem. You would have had me dead a long time ago," he stopped. "But no. We do this over and over again. You kill whoever I send your way, but whenever it comes to me, for some reason, you can't do it."
He started to walk closer to me. "It's like you want to keep living this same life. Wanting that thrill, like you never want it to stop."
"See, we are the same."
I interrupted him. "We are not the same.
"We are though," he turned before he got to me and started pacing. He always started pacing when he would do his monologues. "We are mafia bosses. Both of us are half Asian, except I actually speak Chinese, and you don't speak Korean."
"You can't speak Italian, though."
"Neither can you, making us the same. We were both born into this life. You were born 38 years ago, and I was born 41 years ago. We both lie to our loved ones." He stopped and turned back to me. "Or wait, that's just you."
My face dropped, and he laughed, not a single emotion behind it.
He walked over to Leo. "And we both have fuckers who hate us that we can't get enough." He stroked his face and looked at him.
God, the way he was touching Leo made me so fucking mad.
What he just said played in my mind. We both have fuckers who hate us that we can't get enough of.
I have Ryder.
Who does Matteo have?
I don't…I looked at his face. He had this look that I had never seen before.
It was.
It was love.
God. I rubbed my eyes in anger.
I was mad in ways I can't even describe.
"I have men in all corners of this room that you can't even see, just look around," He said, and I did just that.
"Even if you had the balls to kill me," he stopped. "Which you don't. You kill me, and you and everyone in here are dead, simple as that."
I sighed, and I watched as Matteo grabbed Leo by his chin and forced him to look him in the eye. "Do you want to tell him the deal we had?"
Leo looked at me.
Oh god, was Leo a traitor?
There's no way, THERE IS ACTUALLY NO WAY.
My breathing picked up as the anger continued to bubble inside of me.
"What happened to you not being a traitor?" I asked, looking at Leo.
He didn't answer.
My throat hurts.
Everything hurts.
I felt my chest heave up and down and my nostrils flare.
"What deal did you have with him, Leo? Did you lie to me?" I asked, and Leo looked at me with this sad look.
"I have never betrayed you, and I never will," he said, and I watched as he gulped. "I didn't lie to you."
Matteo patted his face lightly. "Tell him, princess."
Princess? What the hell?
Leo's gaze dropped to the floor.
Then Matteo forced him to look at me, but I watched as he averted his gaze once more.
It was a look of shame.
I let out a sigh.
Just tell me, my friend.
"Would you like me to tell him?" Matteo asked, and Leo shook his head slowly.
What the fuck?
I looked around.
"If I go." I stopped looking around and turned my full attention to him. "With him. He will give you both Ryder and Isabella unharmed."
"If you go with him? Like work for him," I asked, confused.
He shook his head, and I raised my eyebrow.
What the fuck?
"If I go with him, like go with him," he said and gave me this look, the thousand-yard fucking stare.
Oh.
Oh!
OH!! "Like go with him as a lover?" I asked, and Matteo smiled.
Oh. I…don't know how I feel about that.
Leo nodded slowly to my question.
"Tell him the other stuff," Matteo said with his hands all over him.
What is going on right now?
Oh my god. Is any of this real?
"What other stuff?" I asked.
I don't know if I should be horrified or what.
Matteo's smirk widens and widens. He likes it when I am uncomfortable. It brings him so much joy, so much fucking joy.
"Oh, just some memories from college, you know?" He says, and his voice dips down as his smile grows.
I hate ominous ass things. I fucking hate them; it's like he wanted to make me mad.
"And what the fuck does that mean?" I asked, trying to keep my composure.
Note trying.
Was Matteo at university with us? Fuck, I don't even remember.
"Leo and I were a thing back in college." A WHAT?
YOU GUYS WERE A WHAT?
RUN IT BACK.
A WHAT?
My mouth fell open.
I remember Leo talking about two guys in college.
One of the guys cheated on him, and there was an older guy in one of his major classes that I was not in.
He claimed, "I didn't know him, and it was just a one-time thing." Except that one thing lasted a lot longer than that.
Was that Matteo, or was he the other one?
"Was he the crazy bitch who cheated on you? I will shoot him right here, right now if he is," I said, putting my hand on the trigger of my gun.
Fuck. I felt myself getting angrier just thinking about all the shit Leo told me about that cheating fucker.
The sleepless nights of Leo crying.
Afraid to break up with him.
Afraid that he would.
He would.
Oh fuck, I am so fucking angry right now.
"No, the other one," Leo said, looking ashamed.
I took my finger off the trigger.
"He was one-time thing?" I asked.
"One-time thing, baby," Matteo said, pointing at himself with a smile on his face.
"You don't own Leo; you can't have him as yours; that's not how that works," I explained.
Haven't we been here before?
"I can do whatever the fuck I want; I am a mafia boss."
"So you are going against all the mafia men can't have lovers shit, for one of my men, actually for my best friend. That's fucking ironic," I said, letting out a tasteless laugh.
"Bingo. Just how you are breaking it for some 21-year-old fuck who doesn't even like your ass," Matteo said, and he started to laugh.
My face dropped.
"Leo's mine; he's been mine, and he will always be mine."
"You don't own him," I said again.
"Says who?" That's gross.
His disgusting, sinister smile got bigger and bigger as his attention turned to Leo.
"You fucking…"
He cut me off. "You think you can just live this double life, don't you? Become a fucking cold-hearted killer. Kill as many people as you want, and wipe your hands clean like it's fucking nothing. Then you want to start a family and put on this nice guy act."
Matteo's smile was venomous.
Like he was trying to get under my skin.
I looked down at Ryder, who was looking at me. His eyes looked lost and sad.
"Matteo."
Matteo interrupted me again as his voice grew more intense. "Have your ex-wife walk out on you and your daughter because, oh my god, surprise, she found out you're not just some upstanding CEO businessman." Matteo looks down at Ryder. "But a mafia boss. Oh wow, shocker."
My eyes were still on Ryder's as I got my whole life story aired out.
He looked hurt, and it…hurt me.
"Or wait, was it because she cheated on you because you never paid attention to her? Never took her out on dates, nothing."
His words were hitting harder than I would ever like to admit; each of them struck every nerve.
"You can try to hide all of it," Matteo says, gesturing around him. "This whole lifestyle, the money, the power, the respect, the blood on your hands, the bitches."
He cut himself. "Or wait, you don't have any. You have those walls too high to care about anyone other than yourself. But here's the thing." he walks closer to me and leans in, his voice dropping below a whisper as his eyes lock with mine. "You can never hide from it, never fucking escape it. You know that better than anyone."
My face drops, but he doesn't stop, and instead, his voice turns into a mocking tone. "It's funny, isn't it? You are going to live this life until you are dead; that is the only way out. Until you are lying six feet under, you are stuck with this shit, forever, and even then."
He smiled. "There will still be people after you, after what you left behind. This is what you signed up for. You are not some innocent family man. You are a mafia boss, and you can't run from that." He grabbed Ryder's face with one hand. "Your fake fiancé can't run from that."
"Get off of him," I said, pushing Matteo back as he laughed.
I quickly bent down to Ryder. I could see it in his eyes.
It was disgust.
"Ryder, are you okay?" I asked as he pushed me back.
He pushed himself to his feet, slowly. "Sit back down; you are rocking," I explained, trying to hold on to him.
He looked back at me and shook his head.
"Tell me what's wrong," I asked frantically.
There was the look of disgust again.