Beep... Beep... Beep!!
Waking up to that irritating alarm sound, when I looked at the clock beside me, I got my first scare of the day.
"Shit! It's already 7:45, I overslept!"
It took about 30 minutes, including traffic, to get from Prestwich to Spinningfields, the district where the office was located.
Spinningfields was considered the largest financial center here in Manchester. The nightlife was also quite lively, with dozens of bars and restaurants around.
After taking a shower, I quickly started getting dressed. A black dress shirt, beige slacks, and shoes of the same color were what I always chose to wear—something elegant and discreet.
Since I was late, I couldn't even prepare breakfast. While driving, I checked my phone, hoping to have received a call from the hospital about my father's condition. Unfortunately... there was nothing.
"How must he be doing?" I thought as I faced the massive traffic jam on my way to work.
__
Arriving at the office, I saw the small building with its exterior made of large glass panels. I was never a big fan of architecture, but those glass towers were truly breathtaking, no matter how many times I saw them.
As I entered the building, I quickly rushed to where my desk was. There, each employee had their own desk with their computer. Just the fact that I didn't have to share my space with others was already a relief.
Before I could get organized, I saw someone approaching. It was my coordinator. George was only two years older than me, but he looked like he was already in his thirties.
"Hello, Jason, how are you? Not to pressure you, but I need you to send me the expense report by 11 AM. It's quite urgent... once you're done, you can email it to me," George said, already turning around almost instantly to go back to his desk.
George was that kind of person. He knew exactly how to demand something from you without sounding rude, although it was clear how irritated he was. In this case, I couldn't really complain either. It had been a few weeks since I'd been putting off finishing that report. My father's health condition had taken up a lot of my time these past few days.
My work routine followed practically the same daily script: prepare reports, drink my five cups of coffee, get scolded because the report wasn't how it should be... it didn't go much beyond that.
...
I spent the day so focused on finishing the various pending reports that I didn't even notice the time passing. It was already around 6:10 PM when, just as I was about to shut down my computer to leave, I noticed someone approaching.
"Jason? Wow, you're still here?"
It was Selina, one of my coworkers from the department. We didn't talk very often, but whenever I saw her, for some reason, I got nervous. I could say she was one of the most beautiful women in this company. With her shoulder-length red hair and emerald-colored eyes, she had endless charm.
"...Ah, I-I had some reports due today. I ended up taking a bit longer," I replied as if something was stuck in my throat preventing me from speaking. I could barely look her in the eyes.
"Well... it looks like it's just the two of us left here. Since it's Friday, we could go grab a drink. What do you think?"
When Selina finished her sentence, I simply froze. One of the most desired women by most of the men in this place was asking me out. This had to be a dream. But before I could keep dreaming, I was pulled back to reality.
When I checked my phone, I saw the following notifications:
"4 missed calls."
'That's the hospital's number!'
I had been so busy all day that I hadn't even remembered to check my phone. Since it was on silent, I didn't notice the calls. Not knowing how to react, with Selina standing right in front of me, I froze like a statue.
"Did something happen, Jason? You suddenly started sweating."
"Selina... this time I'll have to turn down your invitation, but we can do it another time!"
Before she could ask anything else, I turned my back on her and ran down the stairs.
'Shit!! How is he?'
I ran to where I had left the pickup truck. On the windshield, there was a small piece of paper. It was a ticket for parking in a spot reserved for the elderly. In the rush of the day, I hadn't noticed that detail.
"Argh, screw it! I'll deal with it later."
Ignoring the ticket, the drive to the hospital would take about an hour. Without thinking about anything else, I just stepped on the gas.
__
Arriving at the hospital reception, I tried to find the room where my father was staying.
"Hello, m-my name is Jason Clark. I'd like to know which room my father is in. I received some calls from you earlier."
"Your father's name would be... Thomas Clark, correct? Could you please wait a moment in the visiting room?" one of the receptionists said.
At that moment, I couldn't think of anything. It was as if my brain had simply shut down, as if time itself was moving in slow motion.
'Dad, please be okay!'
That was all that ran through my mind.
I didn't want to be alone.
It felt like I was sinking into an abyss.
Before I could sink even deeper into my own delusions, a man's voice pulled me out of that moment.
"Jason Clark?" the man asked, wearing a medical uniform, a mask, and a cap covering his face.
I simply nodded in response.
"I'm Dr. Jonas, the physician responsible for Mr. Clark. May I speak with you for a few minutes, please?"
Getting up from my seat, I followed the doctor to an area that led to a hospital balcony.
While I tried to gather the strength to ask something, Dr. Jonas took a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his pocket.
"Want one?" he asked, gesturing toward me with the cigarette.
I declined, shaking my head.
"Jason, as part of my job, what I'm about to tell you isn't something I'm allowed to do, but I can't keep giving false hope to my patients' families."
"Unfortunately... we couldn't save Mr. Clark," the doctor finished, looking away as he smoked his cigarette.
"What?!!"
At that moment, it felt like my world had collapsed. In an instant, I was grabbing the doctor's coat, begging him for what he said to be a lie.
But... reality was cruel.
"...Doctor, tell me you're joking. My father is fine, right?"
I couldn't process what he had said. My father didn't make it? No... no.
That couldn't be true.
"I'm sorry. There was nothing we could do. Your father's condition... was already very serious when we received him."
"TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING!"
I kept shouting as I tightened my grip on his coat.
While I was losing control, I saw the doctor calling someone.
Suddenly, I found myself surrounded by a few nurses, who injected some kind of sedative into my vein.
"LET ME GO! GET AWAY FROM ME!!"
My vision slowly began to fade. I could only hear a few voices around me.
"Take him to the medication room, please."
After that, the last thing I remember was falling asleep right there.
__
"Where am I?"
"What the hell happened?"
"Aahgr..."
When I woke up, I felt an intense headache. I was still at the hospital. There was a bandage on my arm.
'I think it was when they sedated me,' I thought. That was the last thing I remembered before blacking out.
"Are you okay?"
Beside me was a nurse. She gently began removing the bandage from my arm.
"...I think so," I replied briefly, still trying to compose myself after what had happened.
After the nurse removed the bandage, I headed toward the hospital exit, where I had parked the car.
I just wanted to go home...
Since my father had just passed away, the hospital itself needed to arrange some documents and prepare his body for the funeral. It would take a few days before they contacted me again.
As I got into the pickup truck, my head still felt heavy from the sedatives.
'I just want to sleep and never wake up again.'
From that moment on, I was alone in the world. The only person I had left was no longer with me.
Unable to drive properly, I kept pressing the accelerator.
I couldn't imagine a scenario where I lived alone. Loneliness... was never something I thought I would have to face.
The feeling of abandonment was as if the heavens themselves had forgotten me.
"I never met my mother, and even my father was taken from me."
"I hate you... all of you watching from up there... I HATE YOU!"
I kept shouting while driving, hoping someone would hear me.
The only thing I had left was to curse the heavens themselves, the only ones responsible for my suffering.
BEEP! BEEP!
Suddenly, I was startled by the sound of horns.
"S-shit!"
The last thing I saw was a bus coming toward me.
CRAAASH!!
After that, my vision kept fading more and more...
They say that at the moment someone is dying, memories of their entire life begin to appear, as if time itself briefly stops and you can relive everything before your eyes.
"Aaghr..."
I had never felt this before. The desperation of wanting to keep living...
It felt like my life was truly coming to an end.
If I could have made better decisions, if I had done things differently...
But it didn't matter.
In the end, I couldn't save my father...
...nor myself.