"Good Morning."
I voiced echoed through my ears.
A sensation of warmth caresses my body.
"It's been a long while, but please wake up. Illias." A voice of someone whom I regarded as both my student and mentor. My friend, Carmilla.
Opening my eyes, I was met with a scenery so familiar to me.
I was in Vanguard Academy's dormitory quarter.
It was my room.
"Welcome back, Illias," Carmilla said with an unexplainable smile.
Looking out a window beside my bed, I saw the green field of the academy.
People I know were standing there.
Besitulars were fooling around with Lulu while Trish seemed like she was about to burst out angry.
Raymed was enjoying a snack with Killiar.
Dwargo was doing his prized smithing as always.
Thalamik was running alongside Momoka and Addison as they always did.
Simultaneously, I feel as if they all were living the best time of their lives.
Unconsciously, I began to smile to myself.
I am glad.
"Illias... are you okay?" Carmilla asked as her hand patted my shoulder.
I took hold of Carmilla's hand and said, "I am okay."
KNOCK KNOCK
"Excuse me..." A doctor opened the door to my room. "I would like to explain a few things that have happened."
The doctor came with a nurse as he explained my current condition.
"Due to the fight with Raum, your mana was depleted, and you suffered from necrosis. But Momoka and Thalamik made it in time to supply you with mana enough, so you didn't suffer from it."
I nodded happily.
"It's a miracle you were able to survive without any problems. Indeed. Perhaps this is what they call, all's well that ends well."
I nodded happily, looking back towards the window.
"You are able to continue your activity as of today. I will leave for now." The doctor said before going away.
As we were alone once more, I looked at Carmilla, who was smiling in tears. "I am so sorry, Illias. It was all because of me." She said before hugging me with a tight embrace.
My words to her were only, "It's okay, Carmilla. I was well aware of what I would sacrifice." I pat her head as I feel her warmth. "Thank you for staying by my side. If it weren't for you, I never thought I would be able to do a good job back then. It's okay. You don't have to feel bad anymore. It wasn't your fault."
I pushed her away from my embrace to look at her eyes and said, "Don't waste any more for someone who already sealed her fate."
Carmilla's eyes widened as she closed her mouth, crying in front of me.
"Please, take care of yourself more, Carmilla," I said to her.
Carmilla wiped her tears before smiling once more and turning away from me into the door to my room. As she left through the door, no footsteps were heard. It was as if she had vanished almost instantly.
"Now, let's go," I said before putting on my clothes, walking to the door.
CLICK
I opened it to reveal a blinding light.
"It's good to finally meet you. Illias The Saint Disciple. The one who killed Demon Lord Envoy, Raum." A man walks up to me with a familiar face.
"Thalamik?"
"Haha. I am merely using his face. But, I am not him."
"I see."
"May I?" He asked, reaching for my hand.
"Who are you? What do you want?"
"I am merely interested in you. Out of all people, to think it was you who defeated Raum. Is it wrong for me to take an interest?"
I understood immediately that the person before me was someone associated with Raum.
"I won't force you. But will you walk with me?"
I nodded, signaling him to lead.
"I understand that before, you were a nurse. How do you like that kind of life?"
I walked with the Fake Thalamik as the scenery of what should be my hallway turned into a hospital.
"I was happy. But, I never feel fulfilled."
"I see. Why is that?"
I look at the scenery before me. "I feel. Nurses aren't appreciated enough. I also feel rather guilty if I failed to cure a patient. But at the same time, I know that a nurse can't help as much as a doctor would."
"Why do you think nurses are needed, Illias?"
"I think, because they're the ones giving their all for medical care. Covers for the patient's daily emotional care and other medical care. One could even see them as the backbone for healthcare."
"Then why do you still think a nurse can't help as well as a doctor?"
"Because our system said so. A nurse's role is to do the medical care already orchestrated by the doctors. The doctors are the ones making the final decision, even though we may feel otherwise."
"I see. Then perhaps you too have felt that sort of injustice do to a 'system'?"
I didn't answer him.
"Shall we continue?"
He and I both walked as the scenery changed once more.
It now turns to paint the front building of Vanguard Academy.
"Tell me, how do you like your life here?"
"I feel happy and fulfilled."
"Why do you think that is?"
"As a Saint, I feel the hierarchy isn't like that of a doctor. People who are beginners who can use healing spells well can rise the ranks fairly easily. It's just learning them is twice as hard as being a doctor.
"I see. That's why you studied 6 years, right?"
"I see that you already know everything... Why would you ask again?" I said with a soft smile.
"Indeed, I do. It's just interesting to know the other person's POV."
"I see."
"Enough about that. Then what do you think made you feel fulfilled? I don't think it's just because you like the system, now, is it?"
I began to think, seeing the sky above Vanguard Academy.
"It was ever since you trained Carmilla, right?"
The person spoke to me knowingly. "Perhaps it is because of her. I feel more confident when I begin to spend time with her. She really made me feel like my 6 years of study weren't just about me giving to others."
"Carmilla made me feel like I was appreciated."
"Did you notice that ever since that day. You stopped comparing? Stopped comparing yourself with your peers and even your life with friends you might have to in the past?"
In that moment, I realized something.
Thalamik indeed made me think about it.
But it's only now that I have begun to realize it.
The words my father uttered.
"Those without talent will always lose to those with it... In this life, we can't force our way to be great at something. That's how the world is, Illias."
It was never about just giving up on something.
The real meaning behind it was.
It's just that we can't force fate to work our way.
I closed my eyes, feeling the wind blow at me.
"In this world, we can't force ourselves to be something. But that doesn't mean we won't be anything. Each person has their own roles that they may or may not realize yet. But the main reason people can't be happy is because of..."
"Comparison," The man finished my words.
"Comparing yourself to someone who has found their role in life is the thief of happiness. It is the thing that made you feel unfulfilled. The proof is that you never see Carmilla that way, didn't you?"
I shake my head as I remember my own words.
"My incompetence feels like I don't belong with the group. It's like I am feeling left behind."
In fact, I was never left behind.
It's all in my head.
Even when I was still a nurse.
What made me feel unfulfilled was the fact, I never got to be a doctor.
I was envious of my peers.
I never stopped comparing them to myself.
It wasn't about the part of being a nurse.
It was that I never stopped comparing, no matter how much I tried to make peace with it.
But ever since becoming a mentor to Carmilla, and growing along with her. Rather than envy, I was feeling pride when she surpassed me.
It was because I didn't compare, but I feel her growth was partly because of me as well.
That I will eternally exist in something good that she is in.
Perhaps that fact was always the case, even when I was working as a nurse.
People do grow because of me, and I grow because of them.
"It's sad to finally understand all this now that I have sealed my fate."
Then the scenery changes again.
He and I were now in South Jaka City.
Momoka and Carmilla were holding someone in their arms.
It was me. My lifeless body was lying on the ground.
Thalamik's face was filled with frustration. "Illias, I am sorry about this." Thalamik opened a part of her body as he began to do a mana transfusion.
"You know already, don't you? You are indeed a clever woman." The Fake Thalamik who was standing beside me smiled.
"You know, it's not too late. You can live again if you say you want to."
"I know what you were gonna offer. In exchange, I will be possessed by that person inside the demonic core, right?" I said, pointing at Raum's demonic core, who was held by Carmilla.
"Indeed. Your soul will be assimilated with Raum. If you choose to live again. This is Raum's offer to you."
"Then, no thanks."
"Very well, Illias. Hear that, Raum? It appears you will die now."
"HAAARRGHHHHh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU FOOLISH WOMAN!" A demon spawn appeared out of nowhere in chains. "LET ME GO! LET ME LIVE AGAIN YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The demon screams in anger, trying to reach for me.
"Don't be a sore loser, Raum. You failed. Bask in your failure." With a flick of his finger, the demon spawn disappeared to dust. "You are exceptional, Illias. Your selflessness might just rival that of Veuz."
"Whoops. I guess you need to go back soon. I'll send you there again. You will have an extra 10 seconds to say goodbye."
10 seconds, huh?
It's better than nothing, I guess.
But a thought remains lingering inside my head.
"Who are you really?" I asked him.
"Me?" He giggled.
Slowly, his hair turned white as dark horns appeared. His face morphed into that of a beautiful man. "I am the Demon King, Ars."
***
Thalamik was performing a mana Infusion straight into Illias' blood veins, hoping to reduce her necrosis.
"Momoka! Make her organs pumping and running!"
"Aye Aye, Sir."
Carmilla, who was holding Illias' head, widened her eyes once more and said, "Thalamik..."
Thalamik looked and scooted to look at Illias, who was conscious. Thalamik held Illias' right hand and said, "Thank god. It will all be okay, Illias, everything will-"
"Thank you, Thalamik... Carmilla... I couldn't have achieved it if it weren't for you two." Tears began flowing from her eyes as she smiled, fulfilled. "Goodbye, take care," Illias said with a final breath as her hand went limp.
"Thalamik Carmilla, how is?" Trish came running towards the four.
Momoka looked at Trish with eyes full of tears as she shook her head.
Trish understood that expression as she knelt.
Thalamik saw her lifeless body as he began to shiver.
The memories came flowing in.
-~
"It's nothing. It's just." Illias drank her tea in a cup before speaking her mind. "I am kinda feeling unconfident."
She took the chocolate bar and bit it before her eyes moved to the sides. "I wanted something to do.
-~
"Trish and Thalamik, you two came together?" Illias walked slowly into their conversation.
"Ara~ Ara~" Illias smiled.
-~
"Now that makes me wonder… What is the 'Thalamik Incident'? I feel left out," Illias asked.
"IT'S NOTHING, MS. ILLIAS!" Thalamik said.
-~
Illias, with a smile, knelt, pulled off his shoe, and stepped on his pinky toe. Again. Again. "Did that hurt? Ara~ Did that hurt? Ara~ Ara~" Thalamik's face stayed blank, but tears fell down from his eyes.
-~
Tears began flowing from Thalamik's eyes.
"Kkhh..."
"Kuhhh.....rgh..."
He wanted to scream.
He wanted to scream to the skies.
Just so it would know his pain.
But he didn't.
But he didn't.
He held it in.
"It will all be okay." He forced a smile, looking at Illias.
"Thank you for everything, Illias." He moved slowly, carrying her in his arms.
He now stands before everyone holding Illias in his arms.
"Let's go home, everyone." He said towards everyone else as they all rose and walked behind him.
Illias... truly...
You are the protagonist.
You have become our light of hope.
And I never regretted trusting you with my life.
My only regret is...
I never wanted you to trade yours for everyone else's.
I am sorry... Illias...
Thalamik faltered on his step, before continuing normally.
Goodbye, Illias. Take care.