I'm terrified. I'm afraid when I see that smile on his face. He's slowly approaching me.
No. I can't show him how scared I am. In order to catch up with others, I ran.
How was he supposed to know? Just a few days had passed. What would happen if he told someone? Do I need to speak with him? He won't listen, no. Why would he pay attention?
I have no idea how to calm myself at this point because my mind is blowing up.
We all went to get breakfast after finishing the entire lap.
I was sitting at the table with my share of food in front of me, but I had absolutely no appetite. I simply stared at it instead of eating, barely having the energy to even lift my fork.
I knew a pair of eyes was watching me.
I gathered whatever energy I had left and tried to look up, hoping to meet his gaze. But apparently, I had underestimated just how weak I'd become. The moment our eyes almost met, I quickly shifted my gaze away.
He didn't seem like he was planning to tell anyone.
If he wanted to, wouldn't there already be preparations for my burial by now?
So, perhaps I was safe. For now.
I still made a plan that I'll ignore him for the rest of my time here, but is it really possible? What have I gotten myself into? I have been caught in less than ten days. So much for calling myself a disguise master.
"Eat your food, everyone. I don't want any of you to pass out because today will be a difficult day for you all." He spoke clearly and loudly, and I can tell that his eyes were piercing me.
"Rosen, why are you not eating?"
And I'm losing my cool.
If it had been me in his place, I would not have allowed my enemy to see a grain of food and would most likely have let him die of hunger. But for now,
"I don't have any appetite."
Still, I am not able to see his gaze. Literally can't understand if I'm angry or scared.
The command seemed absolute from him: "Eat your food."
Now I did take a two-mouthful, just to shut him up.
The General, once again.
"Rosen, finish your food."
He was back at it.
I just couldn't take it anymore. Most people, when they're scared, keep their mouths shut and try not to make a sound. Well, apparently, I'm the complete opposite.
I knew I felt cornered, and I knew I should probably behave.
But how?
I locked my gaze with his and spoke in a clearly irritated tone.
"What's the matter with you? Haven't I already told you that I don't have an appetite? Now, please leave me alone."
I stood up, leaving the food untouched, and walked away from the table.
Everyone was staring at me with wide eyes, but I didn't care about them. I made my way back to my room and shut the door tightly behind me.
Now I wish I had at least looked at his expression before leaving.
Was he angry?
Of course he was.
Who wouldn't be after listening to that little speech of mine?
To calm myself, I made a call back home.
"Rose, you finally managed to call."
Just after listening to his voice almost, all my worries faded. I felt as if someone had brought life back inside me.
"How are you and everyone else? Is anyone besides you missing me?" I kept my voice steady so as not to overshare my cracked voice.
"I'm fine, and so is everyone else, but your voice doesn't sound the same. Is everything okay there?"
"Oh, brother, what are you talking about? It's just that my throat hurts nothing more."
I had to lie; I can't let him know. He's already a valetudinarian (a person who is overly conscious), and if I tell him this, then this means his farewell for me.
He, like any sane brother, simply said, "Okay, but take care of yourself."
"What about you? Your voice doesn't sound right either."
Cough. Cough.
Oh no.
He coughed twice, and I immediately sat up a little straighter.
"Aunt May, what's wrong?" I asked, my concern rising, though I still couldn't resist keeping the teasing tone alive.
His response came quickly, almost too quickly, as if he were trying to cover up the cough before I could question it further.
"Nothing happened. Everything is fine. I'm fine too. And please, enough with the 'Aunt May' teasing."
That was exactly what someone would say when they were trying to hide something.
Now I was sure something was wrong.
"Don't even try to lie to me. Spill it!"
If he doesn't tell me in the next few seconds, he's going to face my wrath. virtually.
"If you're not going to tell me, then I am telling you that I'm going to cut the call and won't call again."
"Rose, it's nothing really. Everything is fine; now quit creating a fuss." His sigh was easily covered through the phone.
"OK. Bye, I'll call later." I ended the call not because I said I would, but because someone actually knocked at my door and had opened it.
I didn't even need to guess who it was. I looked in all directions except for those eyes.
"I was going to come out." I brought out my resigned tone.
"Why such an outburst?"
I peeked at him. He looks fine, but he won't fit in the criteria of being fine. They're red. Are they like that because of sleeplessness, or are they showing anger? I hope it's not anger, but they were fine a while ago, well, when we had been kissing…no, when we were racing.
Definitely anger.
I peeked at him. He looked fine at first glance, but he certainly didn't fit the criteria of fine.
His eyes were red.
Were they red from sleeplessness, or was he angry? I really hoped it wasn't anger. They had been perfectly fine a while ago. Well, when we had been kissing...
No.
When we were racing.
Definitely anger.
Gulp.
Now what?
Rose, you really should have thought this through.
I got up from the bed and started walking toward him, intending to simply pass by and leave the room. But the moment I reached him, he blocked my way.
I still didn't look up.
"Why aren't you looking at me?" he asked. "Is it because I kissed you, or..."
He paused, leaving the rest of the question hanging in the air.
"Or what?" I managed to quiver this out.
I was really afraid to even know his answer, but I still dared. Why am I too daring?
"Or I said the truth." He knows he's got me with this statement.
And there went my cool expression.
I still couldn't bring myself to look at him. I couldn't even think straight. All I wanted was to get out of this room. His presence was becoming far too much for me to handle.
I was just thinking about making a run for it when he suddenly grabbed me by the shoulders, holding me firmly as if he had somehow read my mind.
Kick him and run.
That little voice at the back of my mind kept repeating the same thing.
Fine. I was going to do exactly what my brain was telling me to do.
Failed attempt.
My kick was only halfway through when he swiftly turned and pushed me back onto the bed. He was clearly prepared for it this time.
His red eyes fixed directly on mine, and for a moment, I felt as though my insides had been turned completely upside down.
He slowly leaned closer, placing both his arms beside me and blocking my way out from either side.
He made sure I kept looking into his eyes before speaking.
"Enough with the kicking. Let's have a talk, okay?"