"I thought revenge would be simple. I was wrong."
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'How did they die?' Emilia asks.
'Lady Kaitlyn had them killed, of course,' Brother Brutus says flatly.
'So the nanny still lives?' I ask.
'Yes. She's the one taking care of Emilia. The one she calls mother.'
That shocks us. I can't imagine what's running through Emilia's mind, but mine is filled with horror. The one who killed her own child at the behest of a ruthless woman is taking care of an innocent child that's not her own? If Lady Kaitlyn ordered her to kill Emilia, there's no doubt in my mind that she'd do it.
'Why didn't you take Emilia away?' Brother Xander asks.
Brother Brutus shakes his head.
'I can't. Lady Kaitlyn has the power, and I don't.'
'Why does she listen to her?'
'I think it's something that's been engraved in her mind since she was young. Apparently, she grew up with Lady Kaitlyn and has been loyal for many years before they even came here.'
'That's some brainwashing…' I mumble.
Brother Xander nods in agreement.
'I'm wondering how the others died. It must've been a huge upheaval at the time, but I don't remember anything.'
'Well, she did it systematically and quietly. Some she poisoned with poisons from her home. You know how the other countries keep their poisons secret. Even the nobles keep their poisons secret. Others, she framed for treason or the theft of enough jewels that they'd receive the death penalty.'
'Have you tried getting Emilia away from this, Natalie?' I ask.
'Of course I tried, but I don't have the power to hide Emilia afterward. Lady Kaitlyn is the daughter of the Duke of Scotland. She has a lot of power in the Kingdom of Europe because of her family. There's only so much I can do by myself.'
'What about Brother Leod?'
At the mention of Third Brother Leod, Brother Brutus turns guarded again, folding his arms in front of him.
'Leod? I haven't spoken to him in years. He avoids the both of us.'
'And he still doesn't know about Emilia? He's not even interested in learning about what's been happening to you?'
'Nope. He stopped caring eight years ago.'
'I'm sure that's not the case,' I protest.
He rolls his eyes.
'It is. We're both sons. Nothing will help us get along.'
'But Brother Xander and I—'
'We're different to you and Xander. You're a girl. Not a threat. Leod and I are competitors in this fight for the throne.'
I look away. Of course, I'm not a threat to them. They still think I'm just a weak little girl with no mother. I'm not even the right gender. But that doesn't matter. That won't change anything. To survive, I have to take the throne. This is my only chance of getting out of a political marriage. I cannot end up with Asmodeus again.
My hands curl into fists under the table, my jaw tightening. It takes a minute for me to relax again, as I try to speak calmly.
'Why—' My voice croaks.
I pause, clear my throat, and try again.
'Why do you think Brother Leod stopped talking to you?'
Brother Brutus shrugs.
'Dunno. And I don't care. I have other priorities, and Leod is not one of them.'
'Isn't that a bit harsh?'
'It's how things are, Adira,' Brother Xander sighs. 'We're all weary of each other. We never know if the other will stab us in the back.'
'That's a terrible way to live…' a small voice says sadly.
We turn to look at Emilia, who's looking a little pale. All the horrors of being a member of the royal family are being laid out right in front of her. It's a harsh reality check for a child who's never been a part of it.
'Emilia won't survive in the palace,' Brother Brutus sighs.
We nod, both agreeing with his sentiment as we watch Emilia looking at us with eyes as round as a ball.
'So how do we protect her? We definitely need to get her away from Natalie.'
'And make sure Natalie can't find her,' I add.
'That means a different school, a different place to live… everything.'
'If Brother Brutus doesn't know where she is, Lady Kaitlyn won't either.'
'No!' Emilia shouts. 'I don't want that!'
'You have no choice in this, Emilia,' Brother Brutus says sternly.
'But I don't want to leave you!'
'It's only until Lady Kaitlyn and Natalie are gone.' Brother Xander sighs.
'But—'
'You cannot join this fight, Emilia,' Brother Brutus says firmly.
'But she's helping!'
Emilia points at me.
'That's because she grew up in the palace.'
'That's not fair!'
'Life's not fair.'
Emilia looks away.
'I hate you, big brother!' She cries, tears in her eyes.
She hops off her chair and runs out of the room. We stare at each other, unsure of what to do.
'I'll go talk to her,' Brother Brutus sighs.
'No.' I say firmly. 'I should do it. Girl-to-girl.'
'Are you sure?' Brother Brutus asks, surprised.
'Yes,' I nod.
Brother Brutus thinks for a moment, before nodding.
'Okay. She's probably in her room. She has a little tent in there she likes to hide in. It's upstairs, second door to the left.'
'I'll see you guys soon.'
I stand up and walk out of the room. I pause a moment before I leave and turn to them.
'Don't fight.' I give them a warning look.
They look at each other before looking at me and nodding once. Looking them in the eyes, I turn, heading for the stairs.
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I run to my room as fast as I can. How could big brother say those things? Why do I have to go away? I lose my friends, my family, everything! I don't want that. I want to stay with him. Why can't I stay with big brother?
I reach my pretty orange tent and slip inside. Orange is my favourite colour. Not the bright orange, but the warm pinky orange like the sunset. It is more orange than pink, which is why I call it orange and not pink.
Today has been weird and scary. First, I find out that I have other brothers and a sister. Why did big brother never tell me I have other siblings? I've always wished for more siblings, especially since big brother is never really around. He rarely comes to visit me, and when I do see him, it's not for long. He only ever comes when Mommy leaves.
Mommy is the other problem. Should I be calling her Mommy now? After all, I'm not really her little girl. And she killed her real baby? My Mommy killed her own baby? Why? And what does death even mean? I know it's where you can no longer see the person anymore, but what is death? Why are they so scared of it, but also always doing things that can cause death? That's weird.
There're so many things I just don't understand. What am I supposed to do? And I just hurt big brother! I don't hate him at all. I'm just….scared…. Can I say that? Is this the feeling? I'd never felt this way before. I want to help big brother, but how? Big brother always said I was smart, but now I don't believe him. Why is this so hard?
I snap out of my thoughts when tears land on my arms, trickling down to the floor of my tent. I grab my bear plushie and hug it tight when a knock sounds at the door of my bedroom.
'Emilia,' a voice calls out. 'It's Adira, your sister. Can I come in?'
Adira. Right. That's her name. It's still weird to think of someone as my sister. I'd never had a sister before.
'…Yes…' I say quietly.
I hear footsteps coming closer until the tent flap opens. There stands my sister, a sad smile on her face.
'Can I come in?' She asks again.
I nod.
She slowly enters, moving to sit beside me. She says nothing as she looks down at her hands, her legs crossed.
'You must feel confused right now.' She starts.
She looks at me, that sad smile still on her face. It makes me feel sad too.
'What's death?' I ask.
'Death is when someone closes their eyes and never opens them again. They go into a long sleep and will never wake up.'
'Why do people die?'
'There are many reasons. They can be sick. Someone else can hurt them. They can accidentally die, or they can die of old age. There are more than this, but these are just some of them.'
'Is dying scary?'
My sister nods.
'Yes. It's very scary.'
'Can you stop it?'
'Not all the time. Sometimes you can, but not every time.'
'Will you and big brothers die?'
'Maybe.'
'Why? Is it because of this Lady Kaitlyn?'
'It can be.'
'Will you be sad if I die?'
Big sister looks shocked.
'Of course, we'd be sad. But nothing will happen to you. Why would you think that?'
'Because big brother said Mommy might hurt me. If Mommy hurts me, will I die?'
Big sister doesn't say anything for a long time as she stares at her hands.
'If you never see your big brother again, will you be sad?' She asks.
'Yes.'
'Will you do anything to see him again?'
'Yes.'
'But what if you can't?'
'Why can't I?'
'Because when someone dies, you can never see them again.'
'But if they go to sleep, won't they just sleep in a bed?'
Big sister shakes her head.
'No.'
She looks me in the eyes.
'When someone dies, they go to sleep forever, but then their bodies are taken and buried in the ground.'
'Why?'
Big sister frowns.
'Well, you know when fruit turns brown and smells bad?'
I nod.
'Can you still eat it?'
'No.'
'That happens to us when we go into that long sleep. Our bodies go bad, and we smell really bad too. So, we're buried so that no one can see us when we look and smell bad.'
'Do they feel it when they're buried?'
'No.'
'…Where do they go?'
Big sister shrugs.
'I don't know. Everyone thinks different things. Some people think there is another place where no one dies, no one gets hurt and no one gets sick. A really nice place where they see the people who died before them. Others think there's nothing. Some people think that you become a baby again, or even a cat or spider. It's all different.'
'That's weird,' I say, scrunching my nose.
Big sister laughs.
'Yes. It's weird.'
I fall silent, thinking for a little bit, trying to understand what big sister was telling me. Dying sounds scary. Am I feeling scared? I don't know.
'…I feel bad. Do you know what it is?'
'Can you describe it?'
'Well, I feel cold, and my heart is squeezing hard and beating fast.'
'You're scared.'
So, I am feeling scared.
'Dying sounds scary…'
'I know.'
'Mommy might hurt me?'
'Yes.'
'I have to go away so I don't die?'
'Yes.'
'Can I see you and big brothers again?'
Big sister smiles warmly.
'Of course. It's only until Lady Kaitlyn and Natalie go away.'
'When they go away, I can come back?'
'Yes. Can you be brave for your big brother? He's also scared.'
'Big brother is scared?'
'He is.'
I frown, hugging my bear plushie tighter.
'Okay.'
'Okay?'
I look up at big sister.
'I'll be brave for big brother. I'll go.'
Big sister hugs me tight, but I feel happy. Big sister feels so cool, but I feel so warm and fuzzy. Letting go, big sister stands up.
'Shall we go back downstairs?' She asks, holding out her hand.
I slowly take it.
'Is big brother angry with me?'
'No. He's not angry. Just a little sad. Can you say sorry to him?'
I nod.
'I'll say sorry. I don't hate him.'
'I know.'
We walk downstairs, big sister in front of me a little. I hug my bear plushie with my other hand.
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When we reach the living room, Brother Brutus and Brother Xander both look up from their discussion. They both look rather aggressive, but soften when they see us.
'Is everything alright?' I ask, as I lightly squeeze Emilia's hand in comfort.
'Everything's fine,' Brother Brutus sighs.
'We were just discussing where to send Emilia.'
'I'll take care of that. I don't want either of you to know.'
'Why?' They protest.
'Because you're both the children of Lady Kaitlyn and Queen Satine. Neither of you can know.'
They both deflate.
'But can you do it? You're a princess without a mother.' Brother Brutus looks suspicious.
'I can,' I say firmly. 'By the way, Emilia has something to say.'
They both turn their attention to Emilia. She shyly hides behind me.
'Sorry, big brother… I don't hate you…Are you mad with me?'
Brother Brutus smiles.
'I'm not mad.'
He opens his arms.
'Come here.'
Her face lights up, and she runs into his arms, hugging him tight. He gently kisses the crown of her head.
'I'll miss you.'
'I'll miss you too, big brother. I'll be brave for you.'
Brother Brutus looks amused as he releases her.
'Be brave for me? Are you sure you can do it?'
'Of course, I can,' she says, puffing up her chest.
'Okay,' he says, laughing. 'You can be brave for me. I love you, Emilia.'
'Love you too, big brother,' she smiles.