When morning came, I sat on the edge of my bed, slowly stretching my arms as the soft light filtered through the window. The wood of the Mystery Shack creaked as always, and somewhere below I could hear Soos's humming and Stan's voice, which sounded like he was arguing with himself.
"...so another completely normal day," I muttered to myself.
Normal. Yeah. Sure.
I used to be a guy who binged-watched TV shows and drank energy drinks. Now I'm... Rimuru Tempest in Gravity Falls. And somehow it didn't seem as absurd as it did at first.
I got dressed, pulled my hair into a simple ponytail, and headed downstairs. As soon as I descended the stairs, I was greeted by a classic image of the Shack—dust in the air, fake artifacts on the shelves, and Stan suspiciously checking the cash register as if she was going to rob him.
"Morning," I said casually.
"It's not morning until someone buys something!" he snapped automatically.
"So... still night?" I tried.
Stan looked at me. "You're funny. You can monetize that."
Soos looked up from some disassembled device. "Hey, buddy! Good timing! We found something!"
"That's never a good sign," I muttered, but I followed them anyway.
Behind the old wallpaper was a hidden room, and not just any room. Wax figures, lots of wax figures. I stopped in the doorway and just stared in silence for a moment. It all looked… too realistic. Historical figures, famous people… and of course a few I recognized all too well.
Yeah. So here we are, I immediately remembered these animated sculptures. And honestly, when I was younger, I was scared of this piece, so what could go wrong now that I'm here for real, right?
"Ciel, how come these statues are actually alive?" I asked just to be sure, because I don't remember this specific reason.
Stan proudly dusted his jacket, dollars gleaming in his eyes. "This, boy, is my old Wax Museum! It used to be a gold mine before people lost their taste. But now... now we're opening it again!"
Hey, Rimuru, what do you think?" Mabel snapped me out of my thoughts and pulled me to the empty pedestal in the middle. "Isn't it sad? The main star is missing! Abraham Lincoln is melting." To which Stan responded "Oh, no, who left the blinds open!?"
Mabel suddenly stopped, her eyes shining, and she pointed at Stan with her outstretched hand. "I'll make you a new one! Stan, it'll be you! Wax Stan! It'll be like your twin, but it won't smell so much like old coins!"
Stan looked touched for a moment, something that was about as rare for him as rain in the desert. "My own statue? Made of wax? That sounds… like great publicity that won't cost me anything. Go for it, kiddo!"
I watched as Mabel began to enthusiastically plan how much wax she would need, and Dipper tried to find any mention of this place in the Journal.
Meanwhile, I folded my arms and leaned against the wall while I watched the whole thing. Mabel was already running around Stan with some tools, Soos was enthusiastically assisting and Dipper... Dipper was trying to be the voice of reason, which in this situation meant that no one was listening to him. "Mabel, maybe we should be careful," he began.
"NO CARE!" she interrupted him immediately. "This is art!", I just laughed at that
Meanwhile, Stan stood on the pedestal and straightened up, as if posing for a portrait. "So what? Do I look majestic?" "You look like someone who has been standing still for too long," I replied.
"That's majestic," he replied without hesitation.
The production process was… chaotic.
Mabel stirred the wax with such energy as if she were saving the world. Soos held his form, although it was pretty obvious that he didn't know exactly what he was doing. Dipper occasionally commented, but mostly just watched as the whole thing spiraled out of control.
And me?
I was watching the other mannequins.
Because I still had that weird feeling that wouldn't go away.
On the contrary, he was getting stronger and stronger, "Ciel," I said in my mind.
"The curse... it activates at night, right?"
"So we still have time."
"Super."
"DONE!" Mabel announced triumphantly.
I turned back just as she was taking off the form.
And there stood… the wax Stan. It was… uncomfortably accurate. Same expression. Same stance. Even that slightly suspicious look.
There was silence for a while.
"...Wow," Soos breathed. "That's perfect!" Mabel corrected him.
Dipper frowned. "Maybe too much."
I folded my arms. "Yeah. Exactly."
Stan stared at his statue for a moment, then grinned. "This is gold!" he clapped his hands. "People will pay to see more of this stuff!"
And that was it. The rest of the day turned into an impromptu opening preparation. Stan ran back and forth, coming up with advertisements, admission prices, and ways to squeeze the most money out of it.
Soos pulled more mannequins out, Mabel adjusted the details.
And Dipper... Dipper was taking notes. "Rimuru," he said after a moment.
„Hm?"
"Doesn't that feel weird?"
I looked at him, was silent for a moment. "I have."
"Great," he sighed.
"But you know what the best part is?" I added.
„Co?"
"That we won't do anything about it anyway."
Dipper rubbed his forehead. "That didn't calm me down at all." and when the museum opened, a surprising number of people showed up.
Everyone was sitting on old folding chairs that Soos had dug up somewhere, and the smell of cheap popcorn hung in the air. There was Sheriff Blubs, Deputy Durland, Toby Determined with his giant camera, and even old McGucket, who for some reason was chewing on the corner of one of the chairs.
Stan stepped onto the makeshift stage, flashed his best con-artist smile, and dramatically pulled back the red curtain. "Ladies and gentlemen! I present to you… me! But made of wax!"
Mabel began to clap and cheer enthusiastically, as if she had won the lottery. The audience began to murmur in appreciation, camera flashes blinded the room, and Stan puffed up with pride as he tried to extort money from the audience for the chance to take a picture with his twin.
The whole thing didn't end until late that evening. When the last customer left the Shack, Stan counted out a handful of crumpled dollars with a satisfied expression, locked the cash register, and left the wax figure standing in the middle of the living room to admire again in the morning. The lights went out, and we all went to bed.
Sleeping… well, for me it was more like lying in bed. As a slime, I don't need sleep to survive, but old human habits just don't come off that easily. Plus, I was lying there with my eyes closed the whole time, waiting for the right moment. I knew what was coming.
Suddenly, a quiet but sharp sound echoed through the house.SMIK. And then a heavy, dull thud.
In an instant, I opened my eyes and sat up.
"It's here," I thought. I quickly ran out of the room and into the hallway, almost bumping into Dipper and Mabel. They were both still sleepy and rubbing their eyes, but Stan's subsequent roar woke up all of Gravity Falls more reliably than any alarm clock.
"MY HEAD!! SOMEONE STOLE MY HEAD!!!"
We ran downstairs to the living room. Stan was on his knees in front of the headless body of his wax statue, which was now sitting helplessly in a chair. There was only a small puddle of melted wax on the carpet and a trail leading to the open window.
"Oh my God, Grunkle Stan! You're... headless!" Mabel cried, clutching her cheeks in horror.
"That's not me, you idiot, that's my statue!" Stan raged, pounding the floor with his fists. "Who would do something like that?! That was murder! My murder! I want revenge! Call the police!"
Less than an hour later, Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland were standing in the living room, surveying the crime scene with complete disinterest, Blubs lazily sipping coffee and Durland playing with the police tape as if it were a firecracker.
"Hey, Mr. Pines," Sheriff Blubs said, turning to leave. "The case of the headless wax man is out of our jurisdiction. Besides, we have no leads. Come back when someone steals your real head."
"What?! You incompetent bunch-" Stan started to blush with anger and sputter around him, but the cops were already walking away in the middle without any interest.
Dipper stood by the window, his Diary in his hand, his face wearing that familiar, determined expression that meant only one thing to him – mystery. "I'll solve this case," he said firmly, turning to us. "I'll find whoever did this. Rimuru, Mabel, are you coming with me?"
Mabel immediately saluted. "The detective trio of Pines and... blue slime! Let's go!"
I looked at them and smiled to myself. I knew for sure that the killers were the other wax figures hidden in the secret room, but I couldn't just tell them. Dipper needed his investigation and I had to play by the rules of this world. For now. Besides, it would be a shame to spoil Dipper's first proper detective moment.
"Sure, I'll help," I nodded and intertwined my fingers.
Immediately, Dipper turned to the floor and began examining the carpet with an incredibly serious expression. "We need to find clues. The perpetrator must have left something behind. Mabel, Rimuru, look for anything suspicious!"
"Here you go, boss!" I saluted in amusement, turning my hand into a blue slime tentacle for a second, theatrically clawing the air with it before pulling it back into human form. I was just having fun. Dipper was taking it so deadly seriously that I had a terrible urge to start bouncing around him in my slime form and making noises like I was making a rubber toy.
Mabel, meanwhile, was crawling on her belly and sniffing like a dog. "Ah! I found a clue!" she exclaimed, raising her hand triumphantly. "Animal hair! The culprit was 100 percent... a talking bear!"
"Mabel, those are hairs from Grunkle Stan's carpet," Dipper sighed, rubbing his forehead in disappointment. Then he turned to me. "Rimuru, can't you see anything?"
"Noooo," I drawled, putting on a foxy grin and squatting down by the puddle of wax. "Ciel, throw me some cool detective news."
"Thanks, Ciel, you're number one," I thought, then announced out loud, "I got it! There are traces of… glitter and cheap fabric on the ground. And these boot prints. They point outward."
Dipper's eyes lit up immediately. "Glitter? Cheap fabric? That sounds like someone in show business... or someone trying to look interesting. We need to ask people in town!"
"Yay, interrogation!" Mabel jumped. "We're making detective badges! Rimuru, you'll have the most sparkly one!"
"I'll take it! But I want a pumpkin drawn on it. Or food. Yeah, food is better," I laughed and followed them as we left the Mystery Shack. I knew that this whole run around town was pointless, since the real criminals were locked up in the shack, but honestly? When will I get a chance to play Sherlock Holmes again? Enjoying it was my main motto.
Our first stop was at the local diner, Lazy Susan's. Dipper immediately pulled out his notebook, put on a stern face from the crime scene, and hit the waitress. "Good morning, Susan. Where were you last night between midnight and 2 a.m.?"
Lazy Susan just blinked her one good eye. "What? I baked some cookies, honey. Do you want some coffee?"
"Dipper, you're pushing her too hard," I whispered to him with a smirk, nudging him with my elbow. "Watch the master." I sat down on the bar stool, winked cutely, and smiled at Susan. "Susan, don't you have any of those great pancakes? You know, investigating a murder—I mean, decapitating a wax statue—is a hell of a lot of work for a growing slime… well, a boy!"
Susan was melting. "Oh, you're Stan's new cute boy! Of course, I'll bring you a plate right away, honey."
"Rimuru! We're investigating a crime here, not eating breakfast!" Dipper hissed at me and blushed.
"Hey, a good detective never works on an empty stomach," I replied with my mouth full as Susan set a plate in front of me. The food in this world wasn't that good. "Mmm, great. By the way, Susan, did you see anyone weird wandering around the Shack last night? With an axe, maybe? Or someone who smelled like wax?"
Susan thought. "Well... around one in the morning, that guy with the weird beard came by on his motorcycle. Manly Dan. And then I saw Toby Determined, creeping around by the trash cans."
"We have suspects!" Dipper wrote excitedly in his journal. "Manly Dan and Toby Determined. Rimuru, great job!"
"I told you so," I winked at him and swallowed the last of my pancake. "Okay, guys," I jumped off my stool and slapped Mabel vigorously. "Let's go pinch Toby Determined. I hope he resists so I can use the grabs!"
Toby Determined sat in the local newspaper office looking as if he had just lost the fight for his life. When we kicked the door open – which was mainly done by Mabel with a terrible battle cry – Toby almost started and dropped his recorder.
"Hands up, Determined!" Dipper shouted, pointing his finger at him. "We know what you did last night!"
Toby started to sweat. "Me? Me nothing! I just… I just wanted a report! An exclusive solo carp for Gravity Falls Gossiper!"
I exchanged a look with Mabel and then took a step forward. I decided to put on the most dramatic expression I could muster. "No evasions, Toby," I said in a mysterious voice, raising my index finger, the tip of which flashed a small, blue spark for a second. It was just a visual effect, but it worked brilliantly. "There was… glitter at the scene. And we know you live off glitter!"
"That wasn't glitter, that was face powder!" Toby blurted out desperately. "And I wasn't at the Shack last night! I have an alibi! I was making out with a cardboard cutout of Shania Twain behind the drugstore!"
There was complete, deathly silence in the room.
Dipper slowly lowered his hand and looked disgusted. Mabel covered her mouth.
I just blinked and mentally turned to Ciel. "Ciel... please erase it from my memory."
"Thank God," I breathed. Then, out loud, I added, "Okay, guys. I think this alibi is just too… specific and embarrassing for you to make up. Toby is innocent. And I need to go wash my eyes out with bleach."
The investigation eventually led us back to the Mystery Shack. Dipper was completely heartbroken as his list of suspects had shrunk to zero. We sat in the living room, where the headless body of wax Stan still sat sadly in the chair.
"It's no use," Dipper sighed, closing the Journal. "The cops are laughing at us, the clues are leading nowhere... I failed."
"Come on, Dipper," I playfully slapped him on the back, making him jump a little. "Heads up. I mean… unlike that statue. Look at the bright side. We still have one prime suspect who we completely missed."
Dipper looked up. "Who?"
Meanwhile, Mabel was wandering around the closet in the corner of the room. "Hey, guys? Why is this door locked? And why do I hear someone... coughing from inside?"
And at that moment it clicked. The lunar cycle had ended, it was the second half of the day, but the mannequins were simply hiding inside. I took two quick steps forward, reached out, and with a silentby snappingI simply tore the lock off with force. The door flew open.
Dozens of waxen eyes stared at us from the darkness of the cabinet. At the head stood a waxen Sherlock Holmes, holding the head of Grunkle Stan in his hand, and next to him stood waxen Robin Hood, Cleopatra, and Genghis Khan.
"What?!" Dipper's eyes widened and he immediately jumped back. "Those statues... are they alive?!"
"British humor, my dear Watson," said the waxen Sherlock in a cold, stiff voice. "The master of this house has kept us locked up in the dark for years. He deserves punishment! And now that you have exposed us, we must get rid of you too!"
"Oooooh, talking wax!" Mabel squealed, but she immediately realized the situation was serious when the wax Genghis Khan drew his saber.
"Rimuru! Do something! You have magic, don't you?!" Dipper yelled in panic.
I put on a big, confident smile. This was exactly the moment I had been waiting for. No fear, just pure fun. "Ciel," I said to myself, "is it time for a snack?"
"Perfect," I laughed out loud. A bright blue aura enveloped my body for a second, and a giant, glowing vortex emerged from my right hand, stretching across half the living room. "Hey, Sherlock! In my past world, I read your books, but in this world… you're just an appetizer!"
Before the mannequins could even react, gluttony swept over Robin Hood and Marie Antoinette. Only a loudHAIRand the two mannequins simply disappeared into my body.
"Rimuru?! You... you ate them?!" Dipper's eyes widened so much that they almost fell out of their sockets.
"I told you I was a slime!" I shouted at him cheerfully, quickly dodging the wax lumberjack's axe. "Mabel, Dipper! Grab Stan's head! I'll do the rest!"
Mabel didn't hesitate, throwing a heavy lamp at Sherlock, shattering his wax arm, and Dipper managed to pry Stan's head out of his hands, which rolled under the couch.
The rest of the battle was more like a visit to an amusement park. I jumped from place to place, gradually "luxurious" one wax celebrity after another. The wax Genghis Khan tried to attack, but when he found that his saber simply sank into my body without harming me, he stopped.
In less than three minutes, only a terrified wax figure of Sherlock Holmes, missing an arm, remained in the living room.
"This... this is impossible! What kind of creature are you?!" Sherlock wheezed, backing away towards the window.
"Me? I'm just a completely normal, friendly slime," I winked at him, my human form shrinking into my original blue ball for a second, bouncing off the floor and hitting Sherlock squarely in the chest with all my strength. The mannequin flew out the window, landed in the sunlit courtyard of the Mystery Shack, and immediately began to turn into a shapeless puddle under the onslaught of hot rays.
When the smoke (or rather the smell of melted candles) had settled, I returned to my human form, dusted off my clothes, and turned to the twins. Dipper and Mabel were staring at me with their mouths open.
"That… was… DENSE!" Mabel finally shouted, jumping around my neck. "You're like a walking monster trash can!"
"Thanks, Mabel, I take that as a compliment," I laughed.
Dipper slowly climbed out from behind the couch, Grunkle Stan's wax head securely in his hands. He looked at me with deep respect, but also with a thousand new questions in his eyes. "Rimuru... you're so incredible. But... where did those statues go? Like... are they in your stomach now?"
I tapped my stomach with my finger. "Don't worry, Dipper. Everything inside me is dissolving into pure energy. Actually... I'm getting pretty hungry for them. Shall we go for those pancakes again?"
Just then, the door to the Shack opened and the real Stan walked in. He looked at the broken window, then at Dipper, who was holding his wax head.
"My head!" Stan beamed, snatching it from Dipper's hands and immediately pressing it to his chest. "Kids! And you... blue miracle! You did it! You saved me from my murderer!" Then he looked at the broken window and became serious. "But I'll tear that window out of your pocket money."
"Classic Stan," I muttered to myself and smiled contentedly.
The first big mystery of Gravity Falls has been solved.Ciel just sent me another message.
"Yeah," I thought as I watched Mabel try to tape Stan's wax head back onto his body. "This summer is going to be really interesting."