Not every trial is held before people. Some courts are witnessed by no one, and their only judge is the conscience.
After being blinded by his memories, Elia finally stands before the one judge he cannot deceive... his own past.
Chapter 13: Forgive Me
After Elia judged the organ trafficking gang, silence filled the place until he spoke and said:
"Lilie, was what I did the right thing?"
She replied:
"What you did to them was right, but the girl was innocent. She was forced to work with them so they would not kill her family. But it is too late now; you can no longer undo what you have done."
He left the house, walking with heavy steps. His mind would not rest. He did not know what he had done or what he should do. He continued walking until he reached a small pond. He lay down beside it, and his thoughts and mind grew heavier until exhaustion caused him to lose consciousness.
The darkness was absolute. No earth, no sky—only emptiness. In the distance, a light slowly approached him, little by little. It was an angelic light.
Then a voice said:
"What have you done?"
The voice was familiar, until his mother appeared.
Elia was startled and cried out:
"Mother!"
He began running toward her.
She said to him:
"Stop. Do not come near me. You do not deserve forgiveness. Woe to your heart. You have taken innocent lives, and you wish to become a just judge? What is the difference between you and a savage beast? There is none. You have become one who devours the innocent."
Elia said:
"Mother..."
But she interrupted him:
"Silence. Do not justify yourself to me."
Lilie appeared and ran toward her mother. The two embraced each other tightly. It was not the separation of a year or two, but the separation of an entire lifetime.
Her mother said to her:
"My little one, why did you not take care of Elia? I entrusted him to you."
Lilie answered:
"Mother, believe me, I did take care of him and followed what he wished. But his memories took control of him. He no longer judges with justice and truth; instead, he judges through memories and revenge."
The mother looked at Elia and said:
"It is regrettable that I carried you in my womb. You do not deserve... Leave. I do not wish to see you ever again."
At that moment, Elia panicked. He ran toward his mother, shouting:
"Mother... Mother... Please, let me explain!"
At that very moment, he awoke screaming.
He said:
"What have I done, by the heavens?"
Tears streamed down his face, mixed with blood. He wailed and said:
"Ah... A phantom passed before me and made me weep so much. My soul is slaughtered, and my dreams are slaughtered. I am dead... What can I do to earn your approval?"
He slowly raised the violin, and the notes began to fall.
[ FUNERAL NOTES, MONOTONOUS AND DROWNED IN ABSOLUTE SORROW. ELIA GRIPS THE VIOLIN WITH FINGERS TREMBLING IN WEAKNESS, WHILE THE BOW MOVES WITH EXTREME SLOWNESS ACROSS THE WEEPING STRING, DRAWING OUT A MOAN THAT TEARS THROUGH THE FABRIC OF SILENCE. ]
"FORGIVE ME... FOR MY INNER SELF HAS BEEN TORN APART.
AND IN THE END, MY THRONE OF JUDGMENT BETRAYED ME.
BEFORE YOUR PHANTOM, MOTHER, I KNEEL, BREATHLESS.
A BROKEN CHILD, SEARCHING THROUGH THE DARKNESS.
I SCOURGED AN ENTIRE WORLD... YET MY OWN CRIME STOOD REVEALED.
AFTER YOUR EYES, MY JUSTICE BECAME NOTHING."
[ THE NOTES SLOW EVEN FURTHER UNTIL THEY BECOME THE GASPING BREATHS OF DEATH. THE SOUND OF FRICTION EMERGES SOFTLY SHATTERED, AS HIS BLOOD-STAINED TEARS MELT INTO THE CRACKED WOOD OF THE VIOLIN. ]
"ONE MISCALCULATION... SHATTERED ALL MY CONVICTIONS.
THE KNOT OF THE PAST... SEVERED MY SIGHT.
I SEE YOU AS A LIGHT... RESTING BENEATH THE EARTH.
WHILE YOUR SON'S PATH HAS BECOME A ROAD OF SLAUGHTER.
ONCE I WAS A WHIP... AGAINST CRIMINALS AND DEPRAVITY.
TODAY I STAND WOUNDED BY EVERY BURDEN I BEAR."
[ A SHARP DESCENT, A CHOKING TONE. THE STRINGS ARE BARELY AUDIBLE. ONLY THE RASP OF A TWISTING BREATH REMAINS IN THE DARKNESS AS HE STARES AT HIS HANDS, STAINED BY HIS HASTY JUDGMENTS. ]
"THEN TAKE MY SOUL... TO YOUR GRAVE, HERE.
I NO LONGER SEEK GLORY IN THIS MORTAL END.
ONCE I GREW CRUEL... AND SUSPICIONS BLINDED ME.
THE AGONY OF LOSS... SILENCED ME IN DESPAIR.
FORGIVE THE CHILD... WHO LOST HIS WAY IN THE ENDLESS NIGHT.
WHO NOW POSSESSES NOTHING BUT HIS FEW TEARS."
[ A THUNDEROUS SILENCE SWALLOWS THE LAST GROAN OF THE VIOLIN. THE BOW SLIPS FROM HIS TREMBLING FINGERS, FALLING INTO THE MUD. HE CEASES PLAYING COMPLETELY, HIS HEAD BOWED LOW UNDER THE WEIGHT OF HIS SORROW. ]
"FORGIVE ME."
...
The violin fell silent, and silence returned. It did not last long before Lilie's voice broke it.
"Are you finished? You have lost everything. I warned you many times, but you would not listen. Revenge has blinded your judgment."
Elia replied:
"Let people blame me, and let them say whatever they wish about me. People's words mean nothing to me... if only my mother were pleased with me."
...
...
To be continued.
The melody has ended... but the confession has not.
Can the one who judged the world ever judge himself?