Ian had his eye on the toad.
A toad that could be used to track people, and one that obviously had some kind of magic to it, no less. He remembered that some people in the West liked licking toads, so this definitely counted as some officially controlled contraband.
"Stop, stop, listen to them. What if they have their reasons? They must have their reasons..." Ian said as he waved his "official ID" around and tried to talk everyone down.
Mainly because he did not dare yank too hard to break free from Madison's grip. He could not help it. Since Ian had not inherited his father's bio-field, there was always the risk that he might accidentally rip Madison's arm right off.
Sure, that could technically be considered giving her a free ticket to the world of cybernetic enhancement.
But Madison probably would not appreciate it.
"That's literally just a blank card!" Madison slapped Ian's hand away. Her blonde hair flared up in frustration, and she could not believe she had instinctively turned to look at it.
As if superheroes had actual official identification cards.
"That can't be right. You should've seen my official Silk Superman credentials." Ian pulled the card back and examined it carefully.
There was nothing wrong with it. The card clearly displayed the identity he currently wanted to project, and even the stockings in the photo were the exact premium kind he had run all over town looking for.
They had the perfect glossy sheen.
The kind you could still sell to weird lesbians online after wearing them once.
As for why he would not sell them to men, of course that was because Ian still had morals and standards.
Definitely not because broke male perverts could not afford his prices.
"You definitely forgot your meds this morning!" Madison was so anxious she was practically stomping the ground. She pulled out a bottle of pills from her bag. "Delusions, right? Fine, just use some of mine for now!"
That definitely revealed something.
A very deeply buried secret.
And yet, somehow, it also felt completely reasonable.
After all, not just any girl could survive as Ian's deskmate for years.
Ian had been about to explain that he was "cured," but the moment he saw the giant extra-strength label on the bottle, he immediately shut up.
Minors often understood what benefited them better than adults did. That was just natural selection at work. Any kid who did not know how to chase advantages probably never made it to the age of being a functioning human in the first place.
Even if Darwin had never put it like that, it did not stop Ian from applying evolution theory creatively.
Crunch, crunch, crunch.
Ian believed his friendship with Madison had lasted long enough that it justified what he was about to do. With that thought, he accepted the bottle and poured the whole thing straight into his mouth.
[Metabolic Disorder]
Sadly, because his physical stats were now too high, all he got out of it was a barely useful debuff. Ian could not help but wonder whether his father still had the recipe for Kryptonian medicine hidden somewhere in the Fortress of Solitude.
Alien medicine had to be the good stuff.
"Wait, what? You took all of them?" Madison only realized what had happened after Ian handed the empty bottle back to her. Her eyes went wide, and her voice trembled with disbelief.
"You left me nothing? Not even one?"
Her focus was, once again, not exactly what a normal person would focus on.
She was only shocked by Ian's selfishness. As for drug overdose, sorry, but the average American underachiever did not really have that concept in their head. If they did not know about it, it basically did not exist.
Honestly,
even Ian was a little impressed by how strange her train of thought was.
"You really are getting your money's worth from that psychiatrist."
He gave his evaluation thoughtfully.
Madison did not catch the deeper meaning behind it.
"I don't care. You have to come with me and tell my psychiatrist yourself. Otherwise she's going to think I sold off the medication she prescribed again." Madison tried to drag Ian along once more.
"Right now, you're coming with me to the police station."
Because Madison had let go of Ian while grabbing the pills, she now discovered that Ian's hand had become impossible to catch.
She reached low.
Ian raised it high.
She reached upward.
Ian swept it behind his back.
"What is wrong with you!?"
Madison was starting to wonder whether Ian had gotten some kind of hyperactivity side effect from all those pills.
She kept glancing behind them. Seeing no one there, she finally let out a small sigh of relief.
"I'm mainly worried you're going to touch me again and ruin my grand plans and divine ascent." Ian still remembered what had happened in class a few days ago. The memory alone gave him psychological damage.
Maybe that healing touch of hers was a miracle cure to people who needed it, but to Ian, it was nothing but trauma.
Who would understand the suffering of a guy whose entire build path revolved around collecting debuffs?
"Great, now women are just another version of danger to you?" Madison muttered helplessly.
She was thinking of Ian's usual line about only talking money, never feelings.
"More or less."
Ian did not bother correcting her.
If twisted a little, the old saying still applied.
"When I become a Hollywood star, you'll have to pay me if you want to touch me." Charging Ian in reverse was one of Madison's dreams.
"Opening a hospital with me would make more money. I can find the patients, and you can be the miracle doctor. We'd make a killing together."
Ian made the suggestion from the heart.
"Trying to get someone into medicine is a sin." Madison rolled her eyes hard. She clearly understood what Ian meant, but had absolutely no intention of going along with it.
People did not go to psychiatrists for fun.
That meant she definitely had problems she did not want discussed.
"Look, I'm serious. What if I bought you family health insurance so you wouldn't have to worry about, say, twenty-six babies in one go? Doesn't that interest you at all?" Ian still refused to give up.
On the busy street, the strange pair was attracting looks from passersby.
That made sense. A guy in stockings and a gorgeous girl having this kind of conversation in broad daylight was bound to make people misunderstand.
"What am I to you, a sow? Am I supposed to pop out a whole litter?" Madison stuck both hands into her messy hair again and pulled out her phone, trying to locate the nearest police station.
"Not a sow. But I bet a witch could do it." Ian had genuinely thought this through. He vaguely remembered seeing some kind of pregnancy potion in a fantasy series once.
And if he was wrong,
then clearly whoever disagreed with him had watched the bootleg version.
As the inheritor of certain glorious traditions, Ian did not make mistakes.
"You said what now?" Madison's eyes flickered slightly, but she hid it by pretending to stare at her phone.
Ian gave her upside-down phone a long look.
"For example, them."
Ian said quietly and pointed across the street. The black-clad men had reappeared again, this time emerging right in front of the route Madison had dragged him onto.
The toad in the leader's hands stuck out its long tongue and pointed straight at Madison.
"Damn it!"
Madison finally saw them.
She looked back over her shoulder and then toward the group weaving through traffic. There was no alley nearby that could have let them get ahead like this.
"That makes no sense!"
Madison's expression was full of suspicion and panic.
She wanted to run,
but there were men blocking both sides of the street.
"I knew it. No wonder you need to see a psychiatrist." Ian had stepped right into a blind spot in his "prophet" knowledge. He desperately searched his memory for a DC storyline that matched a witch society and Madison somehow being involved.
Nothing.
Of course not. He was not a real prophet.
No one could possibly have watched every fantasy property that existed before reincarnating.
All Ian could do was sort through every magic-related DC plotline he vaguely remembered.
Still nothing.
"Fantastic. Even my super brain can let me down?" Ian refused to accept that. So he mentally threatened his own brain.
Surprisingly, that helped.
A few more stray memories surfaced.
But none of them had anything to do with Madison or some witch cult. "So what you're saying is, these guys are wizards?"
Ian looked at the men in suits and sunglasses with astonishment. A certain novel he had once read floated through his head, one where some supernatural classes could change people's gender.
So maybe in DC you could go from witch to wizard?
"No, not like that. The church was all women. Real women, in every sense." Madison knew Ian's brain was only going to head deeper into the weeds.
So she stressed that witches really were witches.
"Then why are these people after you? Aren't they on the same side?" Ian nudged one of the unconscious black-clad men with his foot.
His body felt weirdly soft.
Like he had no bones.
As Ian crouched down to check, Madison finally answered.
"The Supreme Witch wants to use my body to live again. That is not something I want to happen." A male voice suddenly rang out, layered with a strange echo.
The sky split open with a crack.
A man in black robes descended slowly through the air. With each meter he dropped, another streetlight exploded around them, and Ian could not help feeling jealous of the entrance.
"Very nightclub."
Ian stared at the man's exposed chest and clicked his tongue. "Madison, I just knew you'd attract this type. You should really stop hanging around clubs so much."
It sounded very heartfelt.
Madison exploded.
"Get lost! I'm still a virgin! That is literally my most valuable asset! Why the hell would I waste it at a nightclub?!"
She ground her teeth and lashed out with a kick toward Ian's shin.
Unfortunately,
the Body of Iron without bio-field was still the Body of Iron.
Whump.
Madison kicked, then immediately lost her balance and landed flat on her butt.
She got even angrier. Mostly at herself. She should have known she could not kick Ian.
"Jeez."
Madison was close to tears from frustration. She let go, even dropping her expensive handbag onto the ground as she openly questioned whether she was actually intelligent at all.
"There was a mosquito on me."
Ian pretended not to notice.
Surely his deskmate was faking it.
She was just too good at selling the watery-eyed act.
"????"
Madison took another critical hit.
"And you still want free KFC?!"
She was grinding her teeth now.
"Come on, I'm still trying to save you." Ian quickly turned back to the descending man and changed the subject. "If your gang is trying to kidnap my good friend Madison, there has to be some kind of reason, right?"
It was such an obvious attempt to pivot.
Hearing that, Madison just flopped back down and spread herself out on the street.
She gave up.
"I am the son of a Demon Lord, the future king of this world."
The man stood with both hands behind his back, full of confidence and style.
Of course, the nightclub vibe was still there. Loose, flashy, pretty-faced, the kind of guy who looked like the most expensive performer in the place. Ian sniffed the air and frowned.
He had noticed something.
"Demon?"
Yes.
Ian's enhanced nose had picked up a familiar scent.
"Very perceptive."
The man smirked.
His Dragon King grin looked a lot more natural than Ian's.
"What?! A demon?!" Madison, who had just flopped onto the ground, popped right back up again with terror all over her face. As if witches and magic were not bad enough, now there were demons too. At this point, she just wanted to faint.
Honestly, she would have been fine with Ian dragging her home after that. It would not even be a loss. If she ever made it big in Hollywood, she could always brag that she had once slept with Superman.
That had to be worth more than sleeping with some director.
"I am a warlock."
The black-robed man corrected them, then looked directly at Ian and lowered his voice into something rich and layered with power.
"Now kneel."
There really was some magic in those words.
Madison, who had been lying there a moment ago, flipped up and dropped to her knees in front of him. Her face was full of horror and disbelief.
"What is happening?!"
Her voice trembled badly.
"It is destiny."
The man sounded incredibly pleased with himself.
"You use words like destiny too?"
Ian looked surprised.
His hand instinctively reached toward his chest.
Only to remember he was not dual-wielding today.
"Don't tell me you're one of those too..." Ian muttered.
"What are you even talking about?" Madison blinked in confusion.
"I'm saying this guy just stole a keyword from me." Ian answered seriously. Then he looked back at the robed man. "Anyway, don't you think this kind of kneeling business is a little outdated? It makes you look like some third-rate villain."
The robed man frowned.
Apparently he had expected Ian to obey too.
Not mock him.
"Interesting." He narrowed his eyes. "Your body is... unusual."
"You noticed? Thanks. It's nice when people appreciate quality." Ian was all smiles.
The man ignored the joke.
"What I noticed is that your mind and body do not align with this world. There is something wrong with you."
"Yeah, that's what the school says too."
Ian nodded.
Madison, still forced to kneel, could only stare at him like he'd lost his mind.
"Stop talking to him like this!" she hissed. "He made me kneel with one sentence!"
"Yeah, well, if one sentence can do that to you, then your mental resistance is terrible."
Ian clicked his tongue, then looked back at the man. "You know what? Since you're a magic user and some kind of demon kid, I've got a business proposal. Interested in becoming fuel?"
The black-robed man's expression froze.
"...What?"
Ian lit up.
"See, I've got a car. Great car, really special. Runs on demon blood. Since you're clearly a higher-end product than the one I've got now, I figure you probably yield better mileage."
For the first time since arriving, the warlock looked genuinely stunned.
Madison, meanwhile, had stopped being afraid.
Because now she was too busy wondering whether Ian's insanity might be contagious.
"You're trying to use me as gasoline?" the man asked slowly, like he needed to confirm he'd heard correctly.
"No, no, don't cheapen yourself like that. This is premium fuel."
Ian corrected him immediately.
The black-robed warlock stood there in total silence for a few seconds.
Then his face darkened.
"I have changed my mind. I won't take your body. I'll kill you."
"Now that's just rude."
Ian sighed.
And because he had heard the words kill you, his mood immediately worsened.
There were bad guys,
and then there were the special kind of bad guys.
The kind who tried to ruin his upgrade route.
That was unforgivable.
The robed man spread his fingers, and purple-black flames exploded from the cracks in the street.
The air twisted.
Glass shattered.
The heat drove passersby screaming back.
Only Ian stood there, calm as ever, while Madison remained on her knees in helpless fury.
Then Ian stepped forward.
And punched him.
Just a straightforward punch.
No stance.
No fancy wind-up.
No magic.
No special effect.
But the moment his fist connected, the air cracked like thunder.
The warlock's body folded around the blow like a bent coat hanger and shot backward, smashing through two parked cars and embedding himself into a convenience store wall.
The whole street went dead silent.
Even the purple-black flames flickering from the street cracks trembled.
Madison stared blankly.
The kneeling spell broke.
The warlock peeled himself out of the wall, coughing blood, eyes full of disbelief.
"That's impossible..."
"Not really." Ian shook out his hand. "You should know by now. I'm having a really good day."
The warlock tried to raise one hand, probably to cast another spell.
Ian did not let him.
He crossed the distance in an instant, grabbed the man's wrist, twisted, and slammed him face-first into the pavement.
Crack.
The man's magic guttered.
The street cracked underneath him.
"I was going to have a nice lunch, maybe squeeze in some leveling, maybe even learn to fly today." Ian crouched over him and spoke very calmly. "And then you showed up and started messing with my schedule."
The warlock tried to spit out an incantation.
Ian shoved one of Madison's dropped fries into his mouth.
"There. Eat. It's a blessing."
The warlock nearly choked to death on sheer disbelief.
Madison, now on her feet again, watched the whole thing in total silence before finally blurting out the only thing she could think of.
"You're actually insane."
"Wrong."
Ian looked up and corrected her with complete seriousness.
"I'm efficient."
Then he looked back down at the warlock and smiled.
"So. Want to tell me what this Supreme Witch nonsense is, or should I call my psychiatrist and let him talk to you instead?"
The warlock's face twitched.
And for the first time all day,
he looked truly afraid.
(End of Chapter)
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