Chapter 337: Rock-Paper-Scissors — Loser Snaps
"This isn't just some final tune-up," Tony muttered, working a set of precision tools over every last detail of the Infinity Gauntlet, shooting Ethan an irritated glance as he worked.
"No, seriously — is everybody just... fine with this? Thanos is coming back any minute now. Shouldn't we all be a little more nervous?" Scott paced back and forth across the room, fear and anxiety written all over him.
He was, after all, the only one of the group who'd never actually gone toe-to-toe with Thanos.
While the rest of the Avengers had been fighting for their lives against Thanos, he'd been off playing in the mud somewhere inside the Quantum Realm.
And when Thanos snapped away half of all life in the universe, Scott had still been in there, playing in the mud.
Scott looked around at everyone else, and saw only calm — different postures, sure, some sitting, some standing, some deep in thought, others visibly bracing themselves, but all of them radiating the same grim resolve.
"Ethan, are you actually sure Thanos is coming? What's even supposed to bring him crossing timelines into our universe in the first place?" Scott pressed Ethan again, unable to help himself, hoping for some different answer that might ease the knot in his stomach.
"Scott, that's got to be your fifteenth time asking. Thanos showing up is already a done deal at this point. Shame about Nebula, though," Banner said from his spot on the floor, gazing regretfully at the unconscious Nebula lying nearby.
Who could have guessed the Nebula who'd traveled here with them through the Quantum Realm five years ago was, in fact, from the past — while this timeline's own real Nebula had already fallen to Thanos's cruelty.
Worse still, none of them had even noticed. If it hadn't been for Ethan, there was no telling what might have gone wrong.
It left Banner with the growing impression that the man sitting calmly on the couch over there was practically all-knowing.
"So our top priority right now is getting the Gauntlet finished, snapping everyone we lost back into existence, then sending Ethan off home with his universe's Stones. I'll handle Thanos myself. I killed him once already — I can do it again!" Fat Thor said, hefting Stormbreaker and giving it a couple of practice swings.
Except right now, with his considerable gut jiggling along in time with every swing of the axe, the whole display came off more comedic than commanding.
If Ethan hadn't actually watched the film himself, he'd have had a genuinely hard time believing this particular Fat Thor was the same man who'd once lopped Thanos's head clean off.
Ethan, for his part, had no intention of leaving this world so easily — he fully intended to trade a few blows with Thanos himself before he left.
Strange, standing off to the side, nodded along enthusiastically at Thor's plan.
The instant the Time Stone was back in hand, he was heading straight home to his own universe.
This world was far too dangerous for his taste. He shot a glance at Nebula, still lying unconscious on the floor.
He genuinely had no idea why she'd suddenly tried to ambush him.
None of them had actually planned to expose the Nebula situation at all — it was just that she'd kept inching closer and closer to Strange the whole time.
Eventually Strange had lost his patience and bound her on the spot with the Crimson Bands of Cyttorak.
If Nebula had been in any position to talk right now, she'd have shouted bloody murder about the injustice of it all.
In truth, Nebula had been under Thanos's orders to seduce Strange, hoping to pry more information about their universe out of him.
Nebula had judged, correctly, that Ethan — clearly the leader of the two — wasn't the type to be easily manipulated. Strange, by comparison, hanging back and keeping a deliberately low profile, had seemed like the softer target.
She'd never expected Strange to mistake her seduction attempt for an outright assassination attempt!
Nebula had, without question, died the most unjustly of anyone in this entire story.
If Strange had known what she'd actually been trying to do, he'd have probably kicked her a few more times while she was down.
The nerve — trying to seduce him*, Strange, of all people? Even in his old life, he'd never once had trouble finding company. Any woman he wanted, he could have had.*
A blue, ugly alien freak? He wasn't nearly that desperate!
Besides, these days Strange was fully devoted to the pursuit of magic. Women were nothing but a distraction from his own progress!
At Kamar-Taj, alongside his magical texts, he'd made a point of reading up on a good deal of history from the great Eastern civilizations too.
And history had made one thing abundantly clear: women were nothing but trouble in a pretty package! Countless men throughout history had lost their lives chasing after them!
About five minutes later—
"There. Finally done," Tony announced proudly.
Every Avenger in the room turned toward him at once. He held up a massive red gauntlet, six differently-colored gemstones set into its surface.
The Infinity Stones themselves.
Rocket Raccoon spoke up from the side. "Gauntlet's built. Question now is — who's actually gonna be the one to snap this deadly thing?"
"Wait, what?!" At Rocket's words, Strange quietly sidled up behind Ethan.
He leaned in and muttered under his breath, low enough only Ethan could hear. "Hold on — snapping your fingers can actually kill someone these days? Since when did this world get this dangerous?"
Ethan rolled his eyes, not even bothering to answer. He genuinely didn't believe Strange's intelligence was actually low enough to not have already figured out why the snap was lethal.
It wasn't exactly a mystery — the combined energy of six Infinity Stones was involved, after all. Captain Marvel alone, drawing power from just a fraction of the Space Stone, had already been absurdly strong. The output of all six Stones together didn't bear thinking about.
Realistically, whoever ended up doing the snap was little more than a conduit — an ordinary human body simply couldn't hope to channel that much raw power, let alone survive delivering the snap itself.
Fat Thor was the first to step forward, hand raised. "I'll do it."
"Whoa, whoa, hold on! We haven't even decided who's snapping yet!" Steve jumped in, quickly stopping Thor before he could get ahead of himself.
"Decided what, exactly? Are we just supposed to sit here twiddling our thumbs? We don't have much time left. Thanos is going to be here any minute. Are we seriously going to wait around and let him just come take the gauntlet off us? What was even the point of the whole time-travel mission then — what did Nebula die for, what did Natasha sacrifice herself for, even if she's not actually dead anymore?" Fat Thor's words came out thick with the smell of alcohol — clearly, he'd had quite a bit to drink already.
"But you're our biggest gun. Don't forget — we've still got to face Thanos afterward. Without you in the fight, who else here even stands a chance against him?" Tony said, staying calm and measured.
Ethan sat quietly, munching popcorn on the sidelines, genuinely curious to see who — under his own influence on events — would end up being the one to actually snap.
What he hadn't expected was for Banner to redirect the whole argument straight back at him. "Why don't we just ask Ethan? Mr. Ethan clearly knows a ton about the Infinity Stones — he'd know better than anyone who should be the one to do it."
Every Avenger in the room turned their attention squarely onto Ethan.
"Why don't you all just play rock-paper-scissors? Whoever loses does the snap."
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