Shin-chan only realized there was a problem once he started traveling at full speed.
He had never been to Kusagakure.
Nor had he ever been to the front lines in the Land of Grass.
"..."
Shin-chan stopped on the branch of a large tree and pulled a map from his ninja tool pouch.
"Kusagakure is here, and the front line is..." His finger moved across the map. "Here. Kusa River."
It was still far away.
After traveling for quite some time, Shin-chan suddenly sensed a huge concentration of chakra not far ahead.
He jumped onto a taller tree, raised a hand over his eyes, and looked into the distance.
Everyone ahead had terror written across their faces as they fled desperately.
A gigantic, pitch-black monster with no head was leisurely following behind the crowd, flapping its wings.
The enormous mouth on its abdomen opened, and a purple energy sphere shot toward the densest part of the fleeing group.
BOOM!
Several ninja were blasted through the air and rolled across the ground before finally coming to a stop.
"Run!"
"You can't hit this thing at all!"
"I don't want to die!"
Screams rang out one after another.
Shin-chan jumped down from the tree and landed directly in the path of the fleeing crowd.
One of the ninja in front nearly crashed into him.
"Brat, are you trying to get yourself killed?! Run!"
"Excuse me, is that Satori?"
"Yes, that's the monster! Hurry and—"
Shin-chan looked up at the creature, which was many times larger than he was, and shouted loudly.
"Hey! Are you Satori?"
Satori stopped moving.
"That's right. What, did you come here to die too?"
"Die?" Shin-chan scratched his head. "I didn't come here to die. I came to make you leave."
"Oh?" Satori seemed to have heard the funniest joke imaginable. "You? A little brat?"
Shin-chan nodded.
"You destroyed all the sweets shops in the Land of Grass. I'm really angry."
"Hahahaha! Just because of that?"
"What else?" Shin-chan looked completely serious. "Is there anything more important than sweets?"
Everyone around him froze.
They had expected some passionate declaration about peace or protecting one's comrades.
Instead...
He was angry because the sweets shops had been destroyed?
After laughing enough, Satori looked at Shin-chan.
"Brat, do you know who I am? I am Satori, the ultimate weapon sealed within the Box of Ultimate Bliss."
"Oh." Shin-chan nodded. "Sounds pretty impressive."
"Afraid now?" Satori's enormous mouth stretched wider. "Kneel and beg me, and I may consider giving you a quick death."
"Why would I be afraid? Can you guess what I'm going to do next?"
Satori's gaze sharpened.
It began reading Shin-chan's thoughts.
Then it froze.
What was it seeing?
Ramen.
Chocolate sticks.
Dorayaki.
Matcha dango...
All sorts of random images flashed rapidly through its mind, with no logic or pattern whatsoever.
It tried to find Shin-chan's intention to attack.
Instead, all it found was:
After I beat this monster, I'm going back to eat ten dorayaki with double red bean filling.
Satori: "???"
It had lived for thousands of years.
This was the first time it had ever encountered something like this.
No matter how chaotic an ordinary person's thoughts were, there was always some central idea.
Especially during battle.
Usually, the mind would be filled with thoughts of attacking, defending, or escaping.
But this brat's head was filled entirely with food!
Food.
And more food!
"Wh-What exactly are you thinking about?" For the first time, Satori's voice wavered slightly.
"I was wondering..." Shin-chan said seriously. "You're so big. How many bowls of ramen can you eat in one meal?"
Satori: "..."
"I can eat three." Shin-chan held up three fingers. "You look several times bigger than me, so you should be able to eat thirty bowls, right?"
"I don't eat ramen."
"You don't eat ramen?" Shin-chan's eyes widened as though he had heard something unbelievable. "You actually don't eat ramen? Then what's the point of being alive?"
Satori roared, "I will become the god of this world!"
Shin-chan scratched his head.
"Will that make chocolate sticks taste better?"
Satori: "..."
It stopped wasting words on the brat.
It would simply devour him first.
Satori opened its enormous mouth.
A terrifying suction force erupted.
Rocks, trees, and even chunks of earth were ripped from the ground and dragged toward its mouth.
"Watch out!" someone shouted.
Shin-chan pulled a chocolate stick from his ninja tool pouch and slowly peeled off the wrapper.
"With suction this strong, can you pull the chocolate stick straight into my mouth? Then I won't have to lift my hand."
Satori: "..."
It completely lost its temper.
"BRAT! I'LL TEAR YOU APART!"
Satori moved with terrifying speed, leaving a black afterimage through the air.
Shin-chan remained standing where he was, casually chewing his chocolate stick as though he had not even noticed the monster charging toward him.
Just as Satori's claws were about to touch him, Shin-chan suddenly vanished.
The Flying Thunder God Technique!
Satori whipped around.
Shin-chan had appeared behind it.
With a furious roar, Satori fired countless black feathers toward him.
Shin-chan vanished again.
The next second, he appeared beneath one of Satori's wings.
"Your wings are huge. I've never flown before."
Satori swiped at him again.
It hit nothing.
Shin-chan continuously flashed around Satori.
One moment, he appeared above it.
The next, beside its feet.
Then suddenly next to the enormous mouth on its abdomen.
Satori was going insane.
It could read minds.
But it simply could not understand Shin-chan's thoughts.
His teleportation had absolutely no pattern.
One second, he was thinking:
This monster's feathers are black. They look like crow feathers.
The next second, he had already appeared on the opposite side of Satori while thinking:
I should reward myself with a chocolate stick later.
There was no way to predict where Shin-chan would appear next.
"Damn you! Damn you! DAMN YOU!"
Satori wildly swung its claws, yet it still could not touch even the edge of Shin-chan's clothes.
Eventually, Shin-chan stopped using the Flying Thunder God entirely and began dodging purely with his speed.
"How are you dodging me?!"
"I think, 'Run left,' and then I run right." Shin-chan tilted his head. "Did you only read the 'run left' part?"
The enormous mouth on Satori's abdomen twitched.
This brat was deliberately creating false thoughts during battle.
No.
That wasn't right.
Satori tried to analyze the thoughts it had just read again.
The brat had not actually been thinking run left or run right at all.
What he had been thinking was:
If I were a chocolate stick, which way would I dodge?
A chocolate stick?
"What the hell are you? You're not a normal human."
"Misae says that a lot too," Shin-chan replied. "But listen, you're not allowed to eat all the chocolate sticks in the world."
"I DON'T CARE ABOUT CHOCOLATE STICKS!"
"Then why did you destroy the sweets shops?"
~~~
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