People across the world worship their own god and praise it for its greatness. I won't hate on it, I just personally don't understand the appeal to it. What can it do for me while I am alive? I don't know and don't really care, I'm fairly satisfied with my "beliefs" and my existence is pretty mundane and chill so no complaints here. I will say though, just if, what if, a GOD truly exists.
- California Independent Republic, 2039 -
The sound of people rushing around the sidewalks of the busy city fill the empty halls of my mind. I hate the crowded streets and the pace that everybody matches; like they have to reach their destination within 1 minute or else they will be brutally executed. The honks of cars that have nothing better to do but fill the fleeting silence with obnoxious noise.
A loud radio can be heard blaring news propaganda across the streets. "With the recent haunting cases, we find it best for young students and working adults to try "Peacytne", the new and improved calming sedative made by our lovely doctors at ELP inc."
'What a load of shit, it's just some brainwashing pill in order to keep their hands free of dealing with their stressed out working class. Maybe, if they treated the people like people and less like drones strictly designed to handle their work, we wouldn't be in this heap of crap.'
Running my fingers through my hair, breaking all the knotted parts and pulling away all the dead ends. I rub my eyes heavy from another sleepless night, before finally heading up the steps to the entrance of my apartment building. It's an alright place, I mean it keeps me and my sister warm, which is honestly good enough for me.
Making my way up to the third floor of the building I noticed a letter on the floor in front of my door, it read, "CIR Culling Operative Drafting". Right below was my goddamn name, "Miran April."
I picked it up and squinted at it, as if it wasn't crystal clear what this meant. I was being drafted to act against the haunting cases, essentially to become some kind of twisted moral government killer.
'Well fuck me, this might actually get me to start looking for a factory job rather than deal with this shit.'
I stuff it into my pocket and open the door to my apartment.
The smell of freshly cooked food fills the air, the silence of serene nothingness welcomes my ears gently, most of all, the girl standing in the kitchen with long black hair and a pissed off smirk curling up the side of her face.
'Damn, I thought she was supposed to be at school today...'
I thought of something to say even if it was just a greeting, I mean my sister can't be that mad at lil ol' me right?
"Hey Mika, how's it goi-"
Her eyes slowly gaze in my direction, it was as if she was trying to burn holes through the back of my head. She erupts from the kitchen, sprinting at me with a steaming hot pan in one hand and a spatula in the other.
"YOU BIG JACKASS, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN SINCE LAST NIGHT, HUH?!"
She coughs from yelling so hard before kneeling over to catch her breath.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I maybe sneak out at night to play video games at the internet cafe. No point in acting like that's a secret anymore, we all got our forms of escapes you know, games are just my version of crack and that's not a problem in my eyes.
I looked at her with an innocent expression in attempts to hide the reality of the situation.
"Last night? You know I am pretty sure I was sound asleep in bed so I don't know what you mean. UNLESS I have started to sleepwalk, then I seriously might need to go to the doctors and get that looked at."
I laughed it off and smiled in a desperate attempt to quickly avoid the confrontation entirely.
She looked up at me with this look of anger swirled with concern. A look I am not too fond of, one that I have received from many people in my life.
"You know mom and dad wanted you to do more with your life, I know you are only 18 but you need to be thinking about your future more Miran. The world we live in isn't one you can exist in without working, despite how miserable that may be it's the truth."
Her words echoed in my head like a ball bouncing off the face of a wall, slightly muted but loud enough to where it became annoying fast. I know what is expected of me, I don't need somebody saying it out loud.
"Yeah I hear you loud and clear, I know I am doing nothing with my life and that I will probably end up a failure and a homeless once our survivor benefits wear off. But hey, look at what came in the mail, I think I got a job offer that I can't even decline."
I pulled out the crumpled letter in my pocket and handed it to my sister while putting on an ugly fake smile. I don't want this. Perhaps it's true I don't have a choice, but why does it have to be this way?
She grabbed the letter out of my hand and looked at it, her angry expression fading out and the concern slowly filling the gap left behind.
"Miran, this is something serious. You genuinely can't avoid this, the CIR will come after us if you do not follow up with this draft. What are you going to do?"
'What am I going to do? What kind of question is that, as if I have any other choice in the matter. Like I have the power to decide anything in this goddamn shit hole.'
I tilt my head to the side and play with my hair in a care free manner, refusing to let my own storm of emotions show.
"Well it's not so bad right? At least I will bring home the bacon and be making some real money from now on. It won't be too hard, you don't need to worry about me Mika, your brother is tough remember?"
She smiles and laughs, walking over to the kitchen table and setting the letter down. She looks at me with the eyes of somebody who still has hope in this world. How I envy her undaunted nature, I wish I was like her in a way.
"Well come on and eat loser brother, you leave the cooking to your sister while you are out at night during your "sleepwalking" episodes. I worry enough for the both of us, now eat your fill of food before I stuff it down your throat."
She waved her hand at me to come sit at the table with a warm plate of food. Somehow, someway, I figured this might be our last meal for a while.
"Okay okay I'm coming."
I set my things down and walk over to the table, rubbing my aching eyes and running my fingers through the knots in my hair. Noticing that I should probably look more presentable for this next chapter in my life.
'I should probably shower after I eat.'
My sister slams a plate of freshly made stew down on the table in front of me. It smells so wonderful, it reminds me of my parents, a vague blur in my mind now but still a blessing to remember. I take a small spoonful and press it to my lips, I blow gently to cool it off while the steam gently rolls off the beef and vegetables.
"Eat up Miran, you got some big things to take care of tomorrow. Don't forget to send a letter once in a while when you have the chance to let me know you aren't dead."
I nearly choked on my stew mid bite.
"WHY WOULD I DIE?! Do you honestly think that this job is all that dangerous? All it requires me to do is stand by at their little headquarters and wait until they get a call, I doubt they would put my scrawny ass on the front lines."
She shrugs and laughs, as if the comment she made wasn't absurd.
"Dunno, with your physique they could maybe use you as cannon fodder."
I put my face into my hands. I don't think I ever really thought about the reality of the situation I was in until hearing my sister put it so plainly. I would fight against people with some kind of psychic-spirit bullshit abilities with what, a gun? Maybe I actually am doomed to die as some cannon fodder no fame to my name and just a lame ass loser. How poetic of an ending, truly fitting for someone of my caliber.
"Well aren't you the considerate type, not like you need me around or anything right. Yeah, for all I know maybe you could write a book about it and make a living off the sales, "My brother died as cannon fodder with no glory at all", that would be a great story right?"
I sulk deeper into the palms of my hands, trying to chase away this increasing feeling of despair. The type of strong emotions that draw forth these so called "Haunting Spells", that's the last thing I need, is some kind of magical fairy telling me he wants to make a deal.
"Oh stop sulking you big baby, I was just fucking with you. I know you have your own set of strengths that you will make good use of, at least I think you are good at stuff."
She sat at the table next to me with an even bigger bowl of stew, one that could probably feed two of me.
"Wow, you sure are hungry. No wonder you're bigger than me, you eat as much as two grown men. I wonder if that's a new undiscovered medical condition. Perhaps they could run experiments on you to find out?"
She swats the back of my head harder than hell. My brain bounced off the walls of my skull like a pinball machine.
"Finish your food and head to bed it's late. I am serious this time, try to get some sleep for once or else your body will give out."
I grabbed my head in agony and turned towards her with all the pain and shock written on my face. It felt like my eyes almost popped out of my head.
'Freak she-gorilla, I swear if I get the chance I am going to pay you back TENFOLD.'
After finishing dinner I put my plate in the sink and said goodnight to my sister. I had a lot to think about now, yet my only goals left for today were to shower and sleep. Goddamn this was going to be a long night, I don't even see the end to all these rampaging thoughts. At least a warm shower would feel nice, I probably haven't taken one in a week so my hair and body would be thanking me with a centuries worth of gratitude.
The bathroom was dimly lit, I preferred it that way. I like it to be at least somewhat private while I am butt-naked getting rained on by sweet warmth and happiness. The shower was of course warm as hell and would probably peel the flesh off a normal person. Luckily for me, I have the body composition of some kind of eldritch horror and can tolerate scalding heat and surviving on no sleep at all.
'Ah this feels nice, I wonder if they have showers at the CIR headquarters. I hope so, at least then I have a place to hide from my responsibilities.'
I searched for my shampoo and conditioner but it was nowhere to be found. I wrapped my waist with a towel and stepped out of the shower to check the cabinets. The shampoo and conditioner had somehow turned into phantoms and phased through the walls of my house bidding me their farewells. I was going to have to use my sister's shampoo and conditioner, the last thing I needed was to smell like a girl on my first day at a government job.
'Fuck it, if I'm gonna do well I better look and smell weller.'
After washing up in the shower and smelling like a thousand fairies tossed me in some kind of whimsical flower dust, I headed to my room to sleep. The only problem is the sleep itself, it's something I can't just do. If there was some kind of sleep god or whatever, like a god who was all, "If you want to sleep have faith in me or else I am revoking your privileges.", definitely hated me from the second my soul entered my body. At most I can sleep around 2 hours at a time but more than that I will get tortured by the same nightmare, the one of my parents in the accident. The one I cannot forget, the one I will not forget.
Laying in my bed I found myself doing the usual ritual, staring at the ceiling like it was supposed to read me a bedtime story or sing me a lullaby. It's all I could do though, I had no way of just falling asleep, I wasn't ever really tired anyways. I had to sleep though, it felt as though if I didn't sleep I would regret it for the next thousand years. So I closed my eyes and laid there in my bed, thinking about every devastating and unlucky outcome I could meet my end from in this job.
'Explosions from a super spirit wielding office worker who wanted to be the bomb at his job and ended up becoming an actual bomb. Pierced by a dozen arrows by a fat old man who wanted to hit the bullseye every time he played darts so bad he created a fucking spirit ballista. Maybe I would be melted by a loser part-timer who was so scared of being fired the he just made a deal and became actual fire?'
I don't know how these haunting spells actually work but from what I do know it's something along the lines of emotions and desires and making a deal. Hence why stupid ass companies like ELP inc. spoon feed us pills to keep us dead and stupid. Realistically if most people who became haunted weren't unstable and could control themselves once these spirits took over, maybe they would overthrow the shit government and set us all free.
I had eventually done so much thinking that I actually fell asleep. I drifted slowly into the abyss that was my dreamscape, it enveloped all that was reality and sent me elsewhere. Somewhere I have not yet been.
A marble floor lay beneath my feet, one so pretty that it looked like it was worth an entire house itself. The surrounding scenery was a blue sky that was filled with the most perfectly selected clouds in god's collection. It was calm, silent, and beautiful. This was not a familiar place for me, nor was it the nightmare of the past I hold on to. This was something completely new, I was growing fond of admiring the view, before I was confronted by a strange voice.
"Miran I take it?"
My body froze, a small bead of sweat danced down the side of my face. It wasn't hot or humid, it was actually quite cold with a breeze. Yet here I am suddenly sweating profusely at the sound of a voice I have never heard.
'Oh my god, is it going to be the sleep god, I should not have made jokes about it in my head he definitely heard me.'
I suddenly started to panic a bit, I was checking my surroundings for something to wake me up or to hide behind, but I sat here on a single tile in the middle of the sky. Unless I felt eager to skydive for the first time, I was planning on keeping my happy ass planted on this floating tile.
The voice echoed once more.
"You are Miran April are you not?"
I stared into the vast sky and my eyes shot across every cloud I could see as if a hawk scanning for its next prey. I saw nothing, no matter how hard I looked I could not find the location where the voice was coming from. At that point, I gave up on finding the source and decided it was rude to keep such a welcoming nothingness waiting.
"Uh. Yes I am Miran April, apologies if this is ignorant or rude as I am not well versed on massive sky dreamscape inhabiting voices and such, but who am I speaking with?"
The breeze escalated, not in a violent way but as if the sky itself was reacting to my comment. It was playful in a way that somehow eased my fears. The voice didn't respond for sometime while the breeze was busy messing up my freshly done hair. I suppose since it's a dream I shouldn't complain to hr about it. Finally the breeze stopped as abruptly as it started, leaving the air as silent as it was before. The voice echoed across the vast sky once more, this time its tone carried far more weight.
"I am past, I am present, I am future, I am simply a voice in the clouds that echoes beyond oblivion. I have watched your world for a long long time, so long that I haven't even wondered when the next sovereign would be born. Yet I meet with you carrying important news. Miran, you are born to two parents long deceased who's souls carried lots of desires. Those desires, those emotions, that desperation have begun to live on inside of you."
I was confused, shocked, terrified, upset, and just about to piss myself. All the things it was saying made no sense, suddenly bringing up my parents and the references to emotions and desires. It was like he was trying to say I was haunted by my parents. It doesn't add up, I have no powers, no special abilities, I am not some prince charming who can swoon the ladies. Just a guy who does nothing with his life and some how squeezes by, so how does this involve me at all? Not only that, but it claiming to be everything and then some, as if it exists beyond time itself. What the hell could even manage something like that it couldn't be human, the only explanation would be a GOD.
'Well that changes this doesn't it, I don't even know where to begin with this thing but it seems to have the answers to everything and I feel like I couldn't even tie my shoes right now.'
I cleared my throat and rubbed my eyes, running my fingers through my freshly washed hair. I had to get some kind of understanding out of this right?
"So are you a god? Also, the stuff with my parents, do you know them or something? Why does it sound like you are telling me they are haunting me, I have never heard of that being possible so I can't imagine me being some kind of one in a million winner winner chicken dinner kind of star. On top of that what the hell is a sovereign?"
The wind picked up again this time it was harsh, as if the wind was in a hurry like the people of the city. It made violent thrashes against my skin and was loud and obnoxious, almost like the wind itself was running out of time. The sky grew dim and clouds started to fade, the tile that lay beneath my feet begun to crack and weather away.
I was starting to wake up.
The voice whispered this time, the sound so faint I had to listen with every fiber in my body. This event was important for me and I had already wasted so much time just thinking instead of acting. If I missed out anymore, this opportunity could be completely wasted, I had to learn something.
"So many questions, so little time, I can only leave you with two answers. You will learn the rest as you grow and become stronger. The first answer, a sovereign is a being granted the abilities of a haunted without the downside, it is a being in complete control of their mind and body whilst having the unique gift. The second answer is, I do know your parents, they are very well. Of course, any just god would take care of two-"
There was nothing, no voice, no sky, no cloud, an absolute abyss that was my usual dreamscape. I had only fragments of memory from the dream, yet so recent, it had already begun to fade. Desperate for truth I held on to these fleeting memories for dear life, since I believed they would lead me to the truth of everything.
I had finally woken up.