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Jonathan
"Jonathan, it's been a while."
The certainty lacing his voice makes my heart race, the unwelcome blare ringing in my ears. I hadn't seen Robert in so long, and he was acting unusually composed.
I tug my collar, suddenly feeling like the spacious dining room was too small for my liking. I should've worn more deodorant... I'm sweating like a pig. But somehow Robert looks so calm, so put-together. His gentle smile and his soft demeanour leave me impressed.
With a tremor in my courage, I cough.
"So, Robert,"
I internally facepalm. Who acts so horribly cringe and awkward to such a close friend? I want to bury myself into the dirt, hide away from the crippling shame.
"I've missed you, Robert. What brings you here in my abode?"
I managed to pitifully squeak out, fidgeting with a few of my shadowy cerulean hair. It feels like hours, years even! Please, Robert... Speak up! Your silence is fuelling my unbearable anticipation!
"There are some things I want to tell you, but I'm not sure if I want to tell you just yet."
Robert hums, his fluffy, almost frothy flaxen hair cascading past his shoulders. My goodness... How does he do it? He's usually jittery for such a small bloke. He feels like he's towering over me even if it's physically the opposite.
"Please, Robert. If you came to see me after all this time... I really need to know,"
I yearn placing his hands to my heart. To feel the rapid beat of my life. Our eyes lock on each other, an unusual warmth blossoming within my soul. It feels like years... The pleasant, almost suffocating silence engulfs the two of us as I reluctantly wait for his reply.
He looks away. My heart clenches. What is he doing? Why is Robert flinching away? Does he find my presence unwelcoming after all this time? Oh goodness... I don't know how to act. He's my best friend but the silence is amplifying my worries, I'm afraid he can hear it and that is the cause of his hesitation.
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Robert
I take a deep breath, calming the anxious fire that burns my entire essence. I need to get myself together, this is important. At least, to me.
"Jonathan, it's been a while."
I stated, my eyes softening as my gaze falls upon the rather tall and bulky chap. That's Jonathan for you, always got the gentleness that soothes you deep within. He always never fails to amaze me. But he's different than usual... He's squirming and his face is flushed, tugging at his collar with fervent urgency.
He coughs before speaking up in that oh-so soft tone,
"So, Robert,"
But he falters. His hesitance plants a deep sense of alarm in my heart, striking confusion from me. It feels like eternity before Jonathan decides to continue his sentence, I wait for whatever he decides to say aloud.
"I've missed you, Robert. What brings you here in my abode?"
I smile to myself, the warmth and fuzziness that always is welcome in my heart when Jonathan speaks. He's so caring and never forgets to express his feelings. Snap out of it! Stop fawning over your best friend and get to the point!
"There are some things I want to tell you, but I'm not sure if I want to tell you just yet."
I finally respond, sounding unsure... Even to myself. I swallow my saliva, feeling awfully small. Why couldn't I just say what I needed to say, he's my best friend—damnit! I should be able to say what I think without concern. But now, I feel the constraint of my hesitance wrap around my neck as it slowly suffocates me from the inside out.
"Please, Robert. If you came to see me after all this time... I really need to know,"
His plea cuts me in two. Jonathan has implanted his tender but persistent gaze on me, on my soul. I can't help but look away. His gaze is making me regret my initial ideas. He's just too good for me. He deserves such a better bloke to be with, a better friend to spend his time with.