[52] Overflow (2)
"It's not the same as when Gaold was here. Students now devote themselves to performance assessments even if they have to cheat. In that environment, talented kids who just chase after flights of fancy will end up falling behind."
"Heh. That's so like you, Shiina. Then again, the three of them are the school's hopefuls. If they fall behind, the school will take a huge loss."
Shiina didn't deny it. She wanted gifted students to bloom as fully as possible. That was her philosophy of education.
Etella's approach was the exact opposite. She never favored or forced anyone. She thought competition was the wrong way to teach. Still, by the results, the students under her care were in no way inferior to Shiina's.
Am I being selfish? Shiina sighed as if the question itself was heavy.
"I don't know. I really don't. Why do talented kids always try to go off the rails? And why would Shirone join a place like that?"
Etella stared into her teacup, lost in thought. She was the only one who knew Shirone had entered nirvana.
It was Shirone's experience, his realm, and she had wanted not to spread the matter around—but keeping Shiina, the homeroom teacher, entirely in the dark wasn't right either.
"Have you noticed anything odd about Shirone recently?"
"Shirone? Hmm. There are quite a few things. He's been hanging around those kids. He probably joined the club because Nade and Iruki egged him on."
"Maybe there's another reason."
"Eh? What do you mean...?"
"I should have told you sooner. This happened during the Speed Gun exam."
Etella related how Shirone had slipped into nirvana while targeting. Shiina went pale.
"Really? That's the Immortal Function."
The Immortal Function was an exalted realm—but that didn't necessarily mean it was a safe or fully controllable state. In terms of depth of insight, even a beggar on the street can sometimes perceive a deeper truth than a mage. The concept was far too dangerous for a mere student like Shirone to handle casually.
"Why didn't you tell me beforehand? This is a serious problem."
Etella believed there were no big or small problems in the world; everything depended on how you met it, and Shirone wanted to decide for himself.
"Shirone already knows. Honestly, it would be strange if he didn't. Nirvana is an unsurpassable enlightenment even I haven't experienced. On that matter I felt there was no place for me to intervene."
"I understand how you feel, Etella. You can't force on someone what you yourself don't understand. But what if an overflow happens? It could be irreversible."
Overflow is a phenomenon commonly seen when genius talent awakens in a psychologically immature child.
A sound mind is like water in a vessel: calm and contained. If it spills over, the self can no longer be held in check and one becomes mad. That's why so many geniuses are eccentric or downright deranged. People who irresponsibly romanticize early overflow as proof of greatness miss the danger, Shiina thought.
Shiina herself had experienced overflow at nine. The world she saw wasn't a prism of curious colors—it was a gray space packed with mechanical rules.
It had been unbearably terrifying. She locked her door and buried herself in darkness. Despite the Olipher school's continual attention, she showed no sign of recovery.
She remembered that year in the dark. And the single ray of light that miraculously split that darkness.
A blond boy who opened a crack in the door and reached out his hand. If he hadn't given her his light, Shiina would never have come this far.
—Shiina. Come out now.
Recalling that time, Shiina gave a bitter smile. The memory told her one thing: she must not let Shirone walk the same path she had.
Shirone had made rapid progress in a short span. Stimulated by exchanges with many talented peers and forged by fierce competition, he'd repeatedly broken his limits. If it was the Immortal Function, the chance of overflow was high.
"Etella. I suffered from overflow when I was young. You must've gone through it too, right?"
"Yes. Of course."
Shiina realized she'd asked a needless question. Mages typically reach certified Rank 6 at around twenty-eight on average. Yet the two of them were only twenty-six and had already been at that tier for six years.
Considering that advancing from Rank 6 to Rank 5 normally takes about ten years, they were already among the upper ranks within Rank 6.
With that degree of talent, it would be strange if overflow hadn't occurred.
"I first experienced it at seven. That's why I entered Karsis Monastery. But thanks to meeting good people there, I was able to get through it."
Shiina felt a quick sting at how much earlier Etella had faced it, then shook her head.
The younger you are, the more likely overflow will crush you. To be slapped with a terrifying, incomprehensible panic before you even know the world is more than a child can bear.
"That must have been rough."
"It was terrifying. If I hadn't gone to the monastery, I probably wouldn't have lived a normal life."
To awaken at seven was to be struck by the world and immediately pulled into revelation. In a place like Karsis Monastery, where the nation's foremost ascetics gathered, Etella had something to hold on to.
"Then why let Shirone be? You know the fear of overflow better than anyone."
"Shirone and I are different. He's not seven or eight—he's eighteen. Overflow is dangerous because the vessel meant to hold the mind isn't sturdy enough. But I believe Shirone has the strength to endure. Overflow is, in one sense, part of accepting genius. If he gets past this hurdle, he'll grow further."
Etella's words made sense. Shiina herself had passed through overflow before her magical talent ran wild.
But that had required miraculous help. And the price was that someone precious lost their light.
"I don't deny your point, Shiina. But not everyone who experiences overflow collapses. I wasn't broken by it."
Etella might be an exceptional case. For someone who trained with single-minded determination, overflow may not have posed the same grave threat. Shiina held that thought.
"I know Shirone's vessel isn't small. But he's awakened the Immortal Function. The worst-case scenario could happen. If it does, can you take responsibility, Etella?"
"I don't teach to bear responsibility. I believe Shirone will overcome it."
"But—!"
"But."
Etella set her teacup down and spoke firmly.
"If the worst comes to pass, I'm prepared to spend the rest of my life atoning to that child."
Shiina fell silent. Etella's resolve went beyond a teacher's duty and reached the sacrificial spirit of a monk.
If Etella didn't truly care for her students, her laissez-faire policy would amount to neglect. Perhaps the one lacking resolve was Shiina herself.
Shiina pressed her palms together in gassho, bowed, and took her leave.
* * *
The iron gate of the Supernatural Psychical Science Research Club swung open. Dust swirled from the floor as Shirone blew out and flailed his arms. Nade came in behind him, looking tired; he tossed his bag aside and collapsed onto the sofa.
Iruki was playing chess—alternating black and white, his hands moving without a moment's thought. One game was over in an instant; he lined the pieces up and began another.
"You back? How was your day?"
Nade propped his feet on the back of the sofa and asked in a sleepy voice.
"So-so. Nothing special happened."
Shirone sighed at his friends. Iruki skipped class every day to play chess, and Nade's whole contribution to the club seemed to be sleeping.
"Iruki, you skipped afternoon class again, didn't you? What if you flunk and have to repeat the year?"
"It's fine. I'll just boost my grades to cover the absences."
It was an irritating reply, but undeniable—Iruki was surviving in Class Five on his science scores alone. In other words, his humanities scores were practically zero. He still had about twenty points' worth of leeway in his overall average, so he could afford to slack off.
Aren't these kids taking it too far? Shirone thought. He'd never seen anyone in Class Five study so little.
Iruki skipped classes and stayed afloat on science scores, and even lazy Nade kept an upper-middle ranking. Watching them, Shirone felt foolish for straining himself so hard.
"Maybe I shouldn't have joined this club."
"Why are you being such a wimp? You know we don't give up, right?"
"No, I'm serious. If I stay here I feel like I'll start going weird myself."
"What are you talking about? What did we do to you?"
"You call this a research club, but you don't do any actual activities—you just mess around. And yet your grades are better than mine. Being around you geniuses only makes me more anxious."
"Do you think that's funny? You crushed me on the test and now you're complaining?"
"Right. Your humility sure sounds like arrogance."
Nade joined in. Comparing Shirone—who'd been enrolled less than a year—to them, who'd been trained since childhood, was ridiculous.
"No, I'm serious. From now on I'm cutting back on club activities. You lot aren't planning to do your performance assessments anyway, are you? I'd rather study during that time."
Only then did Iruki and Nade realize he meant it. He was the kind of model student who couldn't bear even a moment without studying.
"Then why not study here?"
"Huh? Here?"
"Yeah. We're kinda sorry for you. We want to hang out, but we don't want to be in the way. Studying here isn't a bad idea. Maybe we'll get motivated, too."
"Hmm."
Shirone, thinking it over, nodded. He didn't expect to study well in this bizarre club, but if it might spur his friends it was worth a try. He swept the trash off the table onto the floor, set his bag down, and said,
"Okay. I'll study here. But don't bother me."
"Hehe. Don't worry. We're busy enough in our own ways."
Nade said this and immediately flopped back onto the sofa.
"So what now? I'm bored."
A vein throbbed at Shirone's temple. But compared to the trials ahead, this was nothing, so he swallowed his irritation and started to study. Iruki—already on his thirty-fourth chess game—hurriedly moved pawns and bishops and said to Nade,
"If you're bored, why not look at a picture book? I brought this month's."
"Ooh! Really?"
Nade sprang up and burrowed into the trash heap under the table like he was tunneling.
"A picture book? A collection of masterpieces?"
Shirone found Nade wriggling at his feet annoying, but he had an interest in art too, so he let him be. Nade emerged from the trash pile under the table, crawled out, and waved a book in the air.