After the memorial service, Leah walked alone along a road in Block D.
She had taken off her Commander-in-Chief of the Defense Force coat and draped it over her shoulders. She walked slowly, almost dragging her feet.
Every few steps, she stopped and stared blankly at some spot on the ground.
Those fourteen faces kept flashing through her mind.
Calista had suffered through the entire night, and Leah wasn't doing much better.
"They were all my soldiers," Leah murmured to herself.
As Commander-in-Chief of the Defense Force, she had personally signed the training records of every person who had died.
She remembered how nervous Brenda had been the first time she spoke to her, stammering over her words. She remembered how the Royce brothers, survivors who had joined during the winter, always stayed behind to sneak in extra training after their regular sessions.
Now they were gone.
The two team members who had died at the Singularity Polymers Plant weighed on her even more heavily.
No one blamed Leah, but she couldn't stop herself from wondering. If she hadn't pushed ahead so recklessly, if she had pulled back after losing contact, would anyone have died?
Maybe they still would have.
Maybe they wouldn't.
She had spent years as a soldier, then several more as a mercenary. She was no stranger to life and death.
But deaths caused by her own decisions still sat like a crushing weight in her chest.
And even after they were gone, Leah still had to draw up training plans, assign patrols, and report on the Defense Force's condition during meetings.
As if nothing had happened.
"Leah."
Leah spun around, then froze.
Daryl?
He stood about ten meters away in nothing but a worn leather jacket, his signature modified crossbow slung across his back.
"What are you doing here?" Leah frowned. "Block D hasn't been fully decontaminated yet."
Daryl walked a few steps closer, then paused, apparently searching for the right words.
"I came to... thank you. For saving me at the chemical plant."
Leah carefully thought back over the two days they had spent fighting and fleeing through Singularity Polymers.
She couldn't remember when she'd saved Daryl. It had probably been something she'd done without thinking. What she did remember was Daryl saving her on the upper platform of the reactor workshop.
The corner of Leah's mouth twitched. "To be honest, I don't remember. But thanks. I do remember you saving me."
Daryl nodded, but he didn't leave.
He stared at the ground, unconsciously grinding a small piece of gravel beneath his right boot.
This was a man who could put a bolt through a walker's skull from a hundred meters away, yet right now he looked as awkward as a teenager attending his first gathering.
"Something else?" Leah asked.
"You..." Daryl looked up, his eyes darting over her before he awkwardly looked back at the ground. "The ceremony's over. Everyone went to get breakfast. Why didn't you?"
Leah's gaze sharpened. "Have you been watching me this whole time?"
Daryl didn't answer.
Instead, he reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out a can of luncheon meat. The label had long since worn away, but the can itself was still perfectly intact.
"Here." He held it out to her. "You should eat something."
Leah didn't take it. "I don't need special treatment, Daryl."
"It's not special treatment." Daryl stubbornly kept the can extended toward her. "It's... a trade. You saved my life, so I'm giving you this."
"I told you, I don't remember doing that. Besides, you saved me too."
Daryl's voice suddenly rose a little. "That was my job! The commander needs to eat properly so she can lead us on the next mission."
The two stared at each other in a stalemate.
Why was this man so damn stubborn?
It made absolutely no sense.
Leah finally gave in. With a helpless sigh, she took the can.
"Thanks."
Daryl seemed to relax, though he still had no idea what to say next.
He looked around until his gaze settled on a pile of walker remains in the distance that hadn't been cleared away yet.
"It's not safe here. I'll walk you back."
"I want to stay a little longer."
"Then I'll wait."
Leah glanced at him.
Daryl had already shifted to one side, keeping about three meters between them. Not too close, not too far.
A textbook guard position.
Leah suddenly found it a little funny.
And also... something else.
This normally taciturn man was awkwardly trying to take care of her, yet he could barely string a complete sentence together.
The two continued down the road.
Silence settled between them, but it wasn't uncomfortable.
"Frank Wilson," Daryl suddenly said. "He saved me once."
Leah stopped.
"Last winter, I fell into a snow pit while hunting outside the Base." Daryl's voice was low, almost as if he were talking to himself. "His squad happened to be out there with us. It was twenty below. He lay flat on the ice for what felt like forever and pulled me out."
Leah closed her eyes.
She had never known about that.
No one had ever mentioned it.
"Anderson too," Daryl continued. "Last month, I was on night watch in the lookout tower. He slipped me half a chocolate bar.
"Said he always saw me eating alone and figured I didn't have any friends. He was interested in bows and crossbows too. Asked me to make him a crossbow bolt."
He gave a brief laugh.
"Truth is... I just don't like crowds."
Daryl turned and looked Leah directly in the eyes for the first time.
His gaze, usually lowered, now held something heavy and raw.
"So you don't have to carry all of this alone," he said. "We remember them too. We all... hurt."
Leah felt her throat tighten.
She looked at Daryl, a man who was the complete opposite of the outgoing, talkative Merle. He barely spoke and seemed to care more about tinkering with his crossbow than anything else.
"Why are you telling me this?"
Daryl looked away, his eyes dropping to the ground again.
"Because I saw you walking around here alone. You looked like you were trying to find something you'd lost."
He took a deep breath, as though forcing himself to say the next words.
"You can't fall apart, Leah! You're the Commander-in-Chief of the Defense Force. But you can... you don't have to stay on your feet all the time."
Leah froze.
The words were simple and direct, without the slightest attempt to make them sound profound.
And somehow, they made her want to cry.
Not the way Calista had broken down in her room.
This was a quieter ache, something warm and bitter rising slowly from deep in her chest until it lodged in her throat.
"Daryl," she said softly, "Calista was wrong. I'm actually the one who directly ordered them into Block D."
"I know."
"I drew up the clearing plan. I marked the danger zones. I assigned the squads."
"I know."
"If I'd extended the reconnaissance in Block D by just one more day, if I hadn't left Frank and Anderson there on their own..."
"Leah!"
Daryl cut her off.
He stepped closer, closing the distance between them to barely a meter.
"There are no ifs. There's only now.
"It already happened.
"We're still alive. So we have to live the part they never got the chance to."
He reached into a small pouch at his waist and pulled out a tiny, hand-polished metal piece.
Leah recognized it as a modified crossbow bolt fin. The design was intricate, its edges polished smooth as glass.
"This." Daryl placed it in her palm. "Anderson asked me to make it for him. I never got the chance to give it to him."
Leah closed her fingers around it.
It still carried the warmth of Daryl's hand.
"Keep it," Daryl said. "Next time you feel like you can't keep going, look at it.
"Then remember. Some people died because of your orders, but other people are still alive because of them.
"Like me."
He stepped back and resumed his guard position.
"We should head back."
Leah nodded.
She carefully tucked the crossbow bolt fin into her pocket beside the can of luncheon meat, then the two of them turned and headed back toward the Base.
"Daryl."
As they neared the Block B Command Center, Leah suddenly spoke.
"Hm?"
"You haven't had breakfast either, have you? Let's eat together when we get back. In the command room, not the mess hall."
Daryl's steps faltered.
Leah didn't wait for him. She simply kept walking.
A few seconds later, just as expected, an unmistakably delighted "Okay!" came from behind her.