Rhett was utterly bewildered.
In the world of One Piece, a white-haired river deity claimed to be the will of the world itself.
"Young Rhett," the river deity grinned, "would you like to go to the world of Golden One Piece, Silver One Piece, or just the plain old One Piece with no special features?"
Rhett's face darkened. "Shouldn't you, uh, be in a river? Are you sure you're in the right genre? This doesn't seem like your usual anime lane."
The river deity's eyes remained crinkled in a perpetual smile. "Not at all. Even river deities need to eat, you know. Plus, traversing the rivers of time is perfectly fitting."
Rhett eventually accepted this bizarre setup. "So, what's my starter pack? Don't screw me over. If I don't get the protagonist treatment, I'll drop dead right here. And what's the difference between gold, silver, and plain?"
"Young Rhett," the river deity replied cheerfully, "there's no difference! You're guaranteed to coast through. Let me check your beginner talents."
"Oh, young Rhett," the deity continued, his voice dropping to a whisper, "I can grant you a Devil Fruit, the potential for all three types of Haki, and monster-level stamina—beginner edition."
Rhett's eyes narrowed. "Wait, hold up. Did you just casually drop some insane power-ups?"
The river deity shrugged. "No choice. If you're too strong, the narrative breaks. What would the Supreme Will have to write about then?"
Rhett pressed, "Can I pick any Devil Fruit?"
The river deity chuckled. "Heh."
Rhett glared, pulling off a shoe and hurling it at the deity. "What the hell does 'heh' mean?"
The deity adjusted his tiny halo. "Ah, my apologies. You can choose from three fruits."
"Would you like the golden Mist-Mist Fruit, the silver Dog-Dog Fruit, or the plain old Simp-Simp Fruit?"
Rhett grabbed the river deity by the neck and shook him violently. "Are you seriously giving me a choice? Is there even an option besides gold?"
The deity nodded. "Understood. You've chosen gold. Processing now. Have a pleasant journey!"
Rhett blinked, and suddenly he was standing on a desolate island.
"Hey, river deity! Couldn't you have dumped me on an inhabited island?"
"Deserted islands are the standard for transmigration journeys. Farewell and enjoy your adventure!"
Rhett sighed. What else could he do but accept it? He tested his newfound abilities. Beginner-level Observation Haki sharpened his senses—that was it. Beginner-level Armament Haki barely coated his hands.
But one phrase kept echoing in his mind: "Ultra-thin, not..."
Conqueror's Haki. Like Shanks' iconic red-black Haki flash that commanded respect.
Rhett struck a pose, hands in his pockets. One second. Two. Three.
"River deity, come back! Let's chat!"
His Conqueror's Haki was at the level of Monkey D. Luffy's initial awakening—utterly uncontrollable. A toddler-tier version.
The river deity's starry form vanished, leaving Rhett staring at his stubby arms. He estimated his age to be around three years old.
Three?!
"River deity, you bastard! How could you do this to a three-year-old? No wonder you gave me monster stamina—without it, I wouldn't survive!"
After admiring his edgy, handsome looks—black hair, long and straight—Rhett was quite pleased. "If I look this good now, imagine how I'll look grown up. Applause, please."
Next, Rhett pulled out his final beginner's gift: a white, spiral-patterned fruit.
With a critical eye, Rhett prepared to taste the infamous Devil Fruit. He'd heard they were notoriously disgusting. Today, Rhett would be the judge.
He took a small bite. Huh. Not bad. Another bite. Sweet, even. Since there was no other food around, Rhett shoved the entire fruit into his mouth.
His face went from healthy red to green, then purple, then white. The flavor was indescribable—a mix of sweat, stinky feet, tofu, and fermented sewage left to rot for eighty-one days.
But Rhett was a man determined to become the Pirate King. Even if he was alone, his dignity remained intact. Wiping his pale lips with a trembling hand, he offered his critique:
"On a scale of disgusting, I'd rate this a quantum-level stench."
Testing his newfound abilities, Rhett focused, and a white mist began to form around him. It drained his stamina quickly. Rhett's Smoke-Smoke Fruit, though Rhett's performance in the original story was underwhelming.
"Guess Rhett only plays in the minor leagues," Rhett muttered. Beyond turning his body into mist, Rhett wasn't sure what else he could do with this power.
A roar echoed from the forest. At three years old, Rhett felt terrifyingly strong. In the world of One Piece, a toddler with monster stamina, mastery of all three Haki types, and a Devil Fruit ability was nothing short of a prodigy.
"Genius!"
Rhett laughed maniacally, hands on his hips. "Is this what it feels like to be a cheat character?"
The fastest way to boost his strength was to develop his Devil Fruit abilities. While physical training was essential, mastering his fruit would give him a significant edge in a short time.
The problem was, Rhett knew nothing about physical conditioning. Sure, he was a One Piece fan, but watching a few episodes didn't teach him Rokushiki techniques.
Developing all three types of Haki was out of the question. Even geniuses like Monkey D. Luffy and Roronoa Zoro needed mentors.
Rhett figured he had plenty of time to grow stronger—he was only three, after all.
His greatest advantage was his foresight. He knew the timeline and major events.
Rhett focused on his Devil Fruit because he wasn't fighting alone.
"You know how forum communities are full of geniuses? Even the most useless Devil Fruits have been exploited to their fullest. You can question my character, but never underestimate the creativity of forum users."
"My brainstorming skills are terrifying," Rhett mused. Days turned into weeks.
The ponytailed boy darted through the forest, clad in a grass skirt. The oversized shorts the river deity had left him had long since worn out.
Standing on the beach, Rhett realized how inconvenient a three-year-old's body was—he couldn't reach the high coconuts, and while he had incredible stamina, he lacked the strength to move large driftwood.