Chapter 1: The Dimensional Chat Group
"This is the Year 47 of Konoha… and if the original story holds true, next year — Year 48 — is the day Naruto Uzumaki is born. Which also happens to be the day the Nine-Tails ravages the entire village. Why the hell did I have to get dropped into the timeline right before that?"
Yagami Ryū ran through the Naruto timeline in his head, mentally mapping out every event he could remember from that era.
The more he thought about it, the worse he felt.
This world was literally shoving him toward a cliff!
He'd been reincarnated into Konohagakure — the Hidden Leaf Village — of the shinobi world. No Sharingan. No Byakugan. No Shikotsumyaku bone-manipulation kekkei genkai lurking in his bloodline. At seventeen years old, he hadn't spent a single day at the Ninja Academy.
In other words, inside the Village Hidden in the Leaves, Yagami Ryū was nothing more than a background extra.
When the main character was out there showing off and looking cool?
All Ryū had to do was stand in the crowd and shout "Let's gooo!" like everyone else.
But none of that was the real problem. The real problem was that next year was Konoha Year 48.
The Tailed Beast known as "Kurama" — the Nine-Tailed Fox — was going to tear through Konoha.
Who knows how many people would die that night.
He might very well be one of them.
Lying on his bed, Ryū muttered to himself, "Maybe I should just… leave the village for a while? Lay low somewhere out in the countryside, wait two or three years, then come back to Konoha after everything blows over?"
The thought had barely formed before he shot it down.
The world outside Konoha's walls was no safer than the village itself!
Sure, the Third Great Ninja War had just ended this year. Every nation had signed a peace treaty.
But outside? Not even remotely safe.
In fact, you could call it downright deadly.
Just as Ryū was spiraling deeper into his misery, a line of text suddenly appeared in his mind — shoving aside every tangled, anxious thought in his brain and forcing him to stare directly at the strange message hovering in his consciousness.
[Would you like to join the Dimensional Chat Group? YES / NO]
Ryū's eyes went wide. His first reaction: Is some genjutsu user messing with me?!
His second reaction: Wait… what if this thing is actually real?!
No matter how hard he tried — shaking his head, thinking of other things, willing it away — the message refused to disappear.
It seemed like the only way to get rid of it was to make a choice.
Ryū considered it for a few seconds.
Then hit "YES."
After all, he was just an ordinary civilian. Couldn't use ninjutsu. Didn't have a kekkei genkai. Didn't belong to any prestigious clan. Just a regular guy with a regular background.
Under those circumstances, there was no way a genjutsu user would waste their time trolling him.
Which left only one remaining possibility.
This so-called "Dimensional Chat Group"…
…might actually be the real deal.
[Congratulations! You have successfully joined the Dimensional Chat Group as its very first member! Please set your in-group username! Note: Usernames can only be changed once per month — choose carefully!]
You can even set a username? Ryū blinked. This looks exactly like a messaging app…
"Looking" at the eerily familiar chat interface floating in his mind, Ryū fell into deep thought.
Holy crap, this IS a messaging app! It's literally the same layout!
Well, since it was a chat group username, he obviously couldn't use his real name.
Ryū changed his Dimensional Chat Group handle to the same screen name he'd used in his previous life — RawrSoFierce!
"It actually changed… wait, am I the only person in this group?"
Following his old instincts, Ryū navigated to the "Members" tab.
Sure enough, the Dimensional Chat Group had exactly one member.
Him.
One person in the entire Dimensional Chat Group. Just him. Alone. So what was even the point of this thing?!
It sounded impressive on paper. And sure, back on Earth, Ryū had read plenty of web novels with similar "golden finger" cheats.
But where were the other members? Where was the overpowered group admin? Where were the cute group members going 'Kyaa~' in the chat?
The whole place was a ghost town!
Just as Ryū was wondering if he'd been scammed, several notifications popped up in the chat interface, instantly grabbing his attention.
DING!
[「Edward Newgate」 has joined the Dimensional Chat Group!]
DING!
[「The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden」 has joined the Dimensional Chat Group!]
DING!
[「Kaguya-sama」 has joined the Dimensional Chat Group!]
DING!
[「The Little Wandering Planet」 has joined the Dimensional Chat Group!]
Four notifications, one after another. The once-dead-silent Dimensional Chat Group — population: Ryū — now had four brand-new members.
They'd all joined within a second or two of each other. Ryū had beaten them by only a few minutes.
Staring at the four bizarre usernames, a look of recognition slowly crept across Ryū's face.
Because every single one of those names felt painfully familiar.
He was getting serious déjà vu…
Edward Newgate:
"Gurararara! Which young upstart on the seas has the nerve to challenge this old man without even showing his face?"
Edward Newgate:
"Is this a Paramecia-type Devil Fruit ability? Creating an illusion? Heh, not bad!"
Edward Newgate:
"I don't mind a challenge — but let's make it interesting. If you lose to me, you become my son, and you sail under the Whitebeard flag! What do you say?"
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden:
"Ara ara~? A spell that can pull even this one into an illusion? Was it that woman from Eientei? No, wait… she was never good with illusions…"
Kaguya-sama:
"Um… what is this? Some kind of sci-fi technology?"
Kaguya-sama:
"Has Earth's technology really advanced this far already?"
RawrSoFierce:
"…"
Looking at the wildly different chat styles all colliding at once, Ryū felt something click into place. He'd stumbled onto a Dimensional Chat Group — the kind of overpowered cheat he'd read about in countless web novels back in his previous life.
And from the look of things, this was not a knockoff.
The one called "Edward Newgate"? Anyone who'd ever watched anime knew that name. And the fact that he'd just mentioned Devil Fruits? That sealed it.
This was the captain of the Whitebeard Pirates, Edward Newgate — straight out of One Piece.
"The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden." Eternally seventeen. Ryū knew the type — anyone who picked a name like that was usually ancient. Ancient plus claiming to be forever seventeen…
This was almost certainly the Gap Yōkai from Gensōkyō — the one who'd lived for thousands, maybe tens of thousands of years. The "forever young" purple-haired grandma herself, Yukari Yakum—
…actually, he decided not to finish that thought. Just in case.
"Kaguya-sama" was a trickier guess. Was it Kaguya Ōtsutsuki? Or Kaguya Hōraisan from Gensōkyō?
But based on her messages, it didn't seem like either of those.
Her first reaction had been to call it "sci-fi technology." That meant she was probably living in a normal, everyday world.
A normal, everyday world… someone named Kaguya… who was apparently an ojō-sama…
Ryū paused for a moment. Then it hit him like a Rasengan to the face.
He murmured, "No way… is that the Kaguya-sama who dominated the Winter 2019 anime season? Now that I think about it, that actually makes a ton of sense!"
That left the last one — "The Little Wandering Planet." Had to be The Wandering Earth.
Wait. Was this the will of the Earth itself? Some kind of planetary consciousness? Like a Gaia entity or something?
Ryū's brain was starting to short-circuit.
What kind of insane roster…
…had just been assembled in this Dimensional Chat Group?!