Chapter 6 — Professors
As a school with a long and storied history, being a professor at Hogwarts was not an easy job.
Although, due to the curse, the requirements for the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor had gradually lowered over the decades, the most basic tasks—grading assignments, writing lesson plans, preparing exams—still required the professors' personal effort.
Yet, to Dracula, these simple yet endlessly repetitive tasks were unbearably dull.
So he came up with an idea.
...
"Are you sure you want to appoint Quirrell as your teaching assistant?" Dumbledore asked, simultaneously soothing the startled phoenix Fawkes and looking helplessly at the suddenly appearing Dracula.
In fact, holding the deed to Hogwarts essentially gave Dracula full authority over the castle. The anti-Apparition and various defensive spells here had no effect on him whatsoever, so he could freely appear anywhere within Hogwarts.
This time, he Apparated directly into the headmaster's office, scaring Fawkes, who had been taking a brief nap.
Dracula casually stroked the trembling bird in Dumbledore's arms, then took a seat opposite him.
"Of course, I have no interest in doing those boring tasks myself," he said, taking the blood-flavored lollipop from Dumbledore's hand and putting it in his mouth.
"Weren't you planning to approve Quirrell's application anyway? His teaching abilities should be fine, right?"
Dracula was very pleased with his plan: not only would it free him from tedious chores, but it would also allow him to study the little secrets Quirrell carried up close. Why wouldn't he be thrilled?
Looking at the somewhat arrogantly carefree vampire in front of him, Dumbledore rubbed his temples, feeling a bit of a headache coming on.
"To be honest, the Defense Against the Dark Arts class at Hogwarts has a reputation, and very few respectable wizards would be willing to take the position here," he explained seriously. "So, although we don't know much about Quirrell's teaching abilities, if he is willing to join, I naturally welcome him."
"And besides, with the new term about to start, we don't have the budget to hire an additional teaching assistant."
"All minor issues," Dracula said, snapping the lollipop stick in half and tossing it out the window. "Just give half of my salary to Quirrell."
With millennia of accumulated wealth, Dracula was generous in his own way. "You just write to Quirrell and see if he's willing to come. As the actual major shareholder of Hogwarts, hiring a teaching assistant shouldn't be too much to ask, right?"
Dumbledore had no choice but to pick up his quill and write a letter offering Quirrell the position of teaching assistant, then sent it off by owl.
Seeing this, Dracula nodded in satisfaction and rose, heading toward the window of the headmaster's office.
"Wait a moment, Professor Dracula," Dumbledore suddenly called after him.
Dracula turned back.
"Do you have time now?" Dumbledore asked. "Most of the professors have already arrived. How about joining us in the Great Hall for a meal to get acquainted?"
...
In the end, Dracula decided to go to the Great Hall to meet the other professors.
After all, these would be his colleagues for the foreseeable future. It would be inconvenient if things were unpleasant, making his time at Hogwarts less enjoyable.
Together with Dumbledore, Dracula descended the self-rotating staircase from the headmaster's office on the eighth floor down to the fourth floor of the castle, walked along the corridor to the other side's corner, and then had to loop around to the next long flight of stone steps.
"Jumping through windows is definitely much more convenient," Dracula said idly after finishing another blood-flavored lollipop.
"Professor Dracula, you do realize that you're about to become a full-fledged professor," Dumbledore said, half-laughing, half-exasperated. "As a professor, you're supposed to set a good example for the students. If any mischievous student learns how to jump out of windows from you, Madam Pomfrey in the infirmary will probably have something to say about it."
"Moreover, to prevent overly critical parents from picking apart Hogwarts' flaws, it would be best if you concealed your vampire traits. Nicolas told me you're different from other vampires and that you're capable of doing so."
"What a hassle," Dracula muttered, pouting.
Still, for the sake of the amusing events soon to unfold at Hogwarts, he silently retracted his sharp fangs.
...
A short while later, the two of them finally passed a wide marble staircase and arrived at the entrance to the Great Hall.
As they stepped inside, a tall, thin witch with long black hair dressed in emerald robes approached them. With a stern expression, she turned to Dumbledore and said:
"Albus, the standards of our staff really need improving. Can you believe it? I nearly got hit by a lollipop stick just now when passing through the entrance courtyard, and the students haven't even arrived yet!"
Hearing the complaints of this fiery seventy-year-old witch, Dracula's expression stiffened.
He calmly hid the blood-flavored lollipop in his hand behind his back and incinerated it to ashes with a flick of black flame.
"Minerva, I'll remind them to be careful," Dumbledore said, struggling to suppress a smile. He gestured to Dracula beside him. "This is our new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Vlad Dracula."
"Professor Dracula, this is Hogwarts' Deputy Headmistress, Minerva McGonagall," he introduced them formally.
Professor McGonagall finally turned to face Dracula.
Seeing his otherworldly and distinctive features, a flash of surprise crossed her eyes. But she quickly composed herself, offering a polite smile as she extended her hand. "Hello, Professor Dracula."
Dracula politely shook her hand in return.
At the sound of this exchange, the other professors in the Great Hall began emerging, curious to see the "warrior" taking up the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts.
Dracula patiently greeted each of these quirky Hogwarts professors in turn.
The Hogwarts faculty was certainly a unique ensemble—
There was Professor Flitwick, Head of Ravenclaw, barely taller than a house-elf; Professor Sprout, Head of Hufflepuff, wearing a patched hat and covered in dirt; and Professor Kettleburn, missing an arm and half a leg…
Besides being an unusual lineup, the professors' glances at Dracula were tinged with subtle pity and sympathy. One bespectacled witch even sighed upon seeing him:
"Such a handsome man… and yet he chooses to become the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor?"
Hearing her remark, Dracula's mouth twitched.
"Why does it feel like… this whole professorship thing was schemed by that old fellow Nicolas?" he thought to himself.