I sat quietly in front of the doctor while she explained my condition again and again. She told me that my uterine lining was naturally thin and that the baby was not fully stable yet.
She warned me that I had to be very careful with everything I did. I had to watch what I ate and avoid stress and avoid heavy movement.
She said women with a condition like mine sometimes lost their babies and many of them found it hard to get pregnant again.
Her words made my heart beat fast with fear but I tried to stay calm. I nodded many times while she wrote my prescription.
She gave me the paper and told me to get my medicine immediately. I thanked her politely and stood up slowly because I was scared of even making one wrong move. Before I left she reminded me again to be careful and to take care of myself properly. I promised her that I would.
For three years of marriage I had been waiting for this moment. I wanted a child more than anything.
I felt like this baby was the most precious thing in my life and I swore to protect him no matter what happened.
After getting my medicine I walked carefully out of the hospital and entered the car.
James Carter our driver greeted me politely and started the engine.
He looked at me through the mirror and reminded me that Alexander's flight would land at three in the afternoon. He asked if we should drive to the airport immediately. I agreed without hesitation because I was very excited to see my husband again.
Alexander had been away on business for almost a month. I missed him badly and I kept thinking about his face and his voice. While we were on the way I could not stop myself from taking out my pregnancy report.
I read every word slowly and placed my hand gently on my stomach. Inside me was our child. Mine and Alexander's baby.
In eight months he would be born. The thought filled me with happiness and I could not wait to tell Alexander the good news.
We arrived at the airport and James parked in a good spot. He asked if I wanted to call Alexander so I took out my phone and dialed his number.
The call did not go through and a cold automated message told me the line was unavailable. I tried to stay calm and told James that the flight might be delayed so we should wait.
Time passed slowly. I kept looking around hoping to see Alexander walking toward me but he never appeared.
I called again and again but there was no response. I told myself that delays were normal and that I should be patient.
Two hours later I tried calling once more. This time the call connected quickly and I heard Alexander's deep voice say my name.
My heart jumped with joy and I told him where we were waiting. Suddenly the voice changed. A woman spoke instead. She said Alexander was in the restroom and that he would call me later.
Before I could ask anything the call ended.
I stared at my phone in confusion. I remembered clearly that Alexander had not taken any female assistant with him on this trip.
I waited and waited hoping he would call back but nothing happened. After fifteen long minutes I called again. The phone rang for a long time before he finally answered.
He sounded calm and distant. I asked where he was and told him we were still at the airport waiting.
He paused and then said he had already left. My smile disappeared immediately.
I asked if I should wait for him at home because I had something important to tell him. He said he also had something to tell me. I happily said I would ask the nanny to prepare his favorite meal but he told me to eat alone because he had other plans and would return late.
I felt disappointed but I agreed quietly. Just before hanging up I heard the same woman's voice again apologizing to him for not passing my earlier message. My heart sank deeply and I wanted to ask who she was but the call ended again before I could speak.
I felt cold and empty as I told James to drive home.
During dinner I forced myself to eat a little for the sake of the baby even though I had no appetite at all.
I sat on the sofa hugging a pillow and stared at the television without watching anything. I kept checking the time again and again. Ten at night came and I eventually fell asleep while waiting.
In my half sleep I felt someone lifting me gently. I smelled a familiar scent mixed with alcohol and I murmured Alexander's name. He confirmed it was him and said he had been drinking with friends. I heard the bathroom water running and soon he came back to bed.
His hand touched my waist and moved slowly. I felt nervous because of the baby and I softly refused him. He paused and then told me to sleep. I relaxed and fell into deep sleep again.
The next morning I woke up alone. The bed beside me was empty and only the messy sheets showed that he had come home. I felt a little regret that I had fallen asleep too quickly the night before but I convinced myself that today would be better.
After getting ready I chosed a white suit for Alexander and a red striped tie because I wanted to share happy news.
Pregnancy should be a joyful thing and I felt excited and nervous at the same time. When I went downstairs I saw him already sitting on the sofa reading documents after his morning run. He looked calm and distant as always.
We ate breakfast quietly. My heart beat fast as I gathered courage to speak. I told him I needed to talk to him. He said he also had something to say. I smiled and told him to go first even though I felt a strange fear growing inside me.
Without any emotion he stood up and handed me a document. Stating we should get a divorce.
He explained that our marriage started because of a forced situation and it was never made public so ending it now would be simple.
My mind went blank, I could not believe what I heard. Divorce. The word felt heavy and unreal. I had loved him for three long years since I entered the Hawthorne family at sixteen. I had given him my youth my dreams and my heart.
To me our marriage was everything but to him it was only a mistake.
I asked if he was truly sure and reminded him of our peaceful life together. He answered calmly that he was certain. I mentioned his grandparents hoping he would reconsider but he said he would explain things to them himself.
I hesitated to ask if there was someone else but he interrupted me before I could finish.
He said one sentence that shattered everything.
Isabella was back in the country.
His first love had returned.
My heart felt numb and heavy. All the explanations about necessity and manipulation stopped mattering.
I took the divorce agreement with shaking hands and told him I would read it. Inside I felt like my world was collapsing but outside I stayed calm and quiet because I did not want him to see how broken I was.
At that moment I realized that the happiness I had been holding onto was already slipping away from me.