"So... tell me what you think... Do you accept the deal I'm offering?"
The voice was a velvety melody, deep and seductive, capable of making any man with a pulse fall to his knees. However, the surroundings didn't exactly invite romance.
Maikel blinked, trying to process the absolute unreality of his situation. He was sitting in an elegant black leather chair in the middle of nowhere—literally, nowhere. It was an infinite, blinding white room; a space with an immaculate marble floor beneath his feet, but completely lacking walls or a ceiling. The void extended as far as the eye could see, and...
Opposite him, sitting on a crimson velvet Victorian sofa that clashed brutally with the white void, was her.
Lucy... or as she had introduced herself a little while ago with a lopsided smile, Lucifer.
She looked like a woman in her early thirties, with a beauty so sharp and perfect that it hurt to look directly at her. Her hair was a jet black that seemed to absorb light, and her eyes shone with a dark red, like aged wine against the light. She wore an impeccable tailored suit with a masculine cut that somehow managed to accentuate every curve of her figure. And in her right hand, she held a cut crystal glass with an amber liquid and two ice cubes that clinked softly in the sepulchral silence of the place.
Faced with this magnificent, almost cinematic scene, Maikel swallowed hard, his throat feeling dry from the weight of the words that had come out of the mouth of that... woman.
"Let me see if I've got this right," he began, resting his elbows on his knees and rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I died because an out-of-control bus invaded the movie set. And I..." he emphasized those words while pointing at himself with his index finger, "in a moment of heroic stupidity uncharacteristic of me, pushed my client and her lovely daughter out of the way before becoming a hood ornament."
Lucy nodded slowly, taking a sip of her drink with a relaxed smile. Her scarlet eyes watched him at all times with palpable amusement.
"And now you're telling me that you're offering me a chance to reincarnate," Maikel continued, raising a hand to count on his fingers. "In an extraordinary body, with unparalleled talent for baseball, and a magical 'support system'."
"All this as a reward for having saved the life of that particular little girl, who happens to be... your spawn? The holy Antichrist?" he finished with a couple of questions that didn't really need an answer, although Lucy kept nodding to each of them as if he were a good boy repeating his lessons seeking the teacher's approval.
Deep in his heart, Maikel didn't know whether to laugh or cry at this crazy situation; he wanted to snort and sigh with all his might, but... The truth is he didn't want to look so weak in front of the Devil. Pride. Surely she was happy to see him remain a sinner even after death.
"In technical terms, yes. She is my daughter on the earthly plane," Lucy replied, crossing her legs with a rustle of silk that echoed in the void, "and you, a mischievous little mortal, ensured that she reached adulthood. You've saved me millennia of infernal planning, Maikel. Literally," she added, raising the glass in her hand toward him as a sign of gratitude.
"Ha!" Maikel let out a dry smile, devoid of humor, leaning back in his chair.
"This is unbelievable," he sighed again, settling into the armchair. "I know I am, or was, a bad person, but... you know, heavenly forgiveness and all that, I guess this isn't so bad after all."
"It's damn surreal that it's the Devil who is blessing me, and I appreciate it, although honestly, while we're at it..." The words flowed freely from his mouth; he hadn't even thought about it, greed taking control for three seconds. "I expected something more from the Devil herself for having saved the Antichrist."
Maikel was undoubtedly pushing his luck. And she, upon hearing the disappointment (?) in the voice of the man in front of her, frowned, genuinely bewildered, so much so that she stopped her whiskey glass halfway to her lips.
"Something more?" she asked, tilting her head. "I'm giving you a new life, the skills to stand out among the ants."
"I'm sure you wouldn't like Hell because, being honest, Father forgive me, but interfering with Uriel's calculations for the Antichrist to die in an accident doesn't exactly earn you the gates of Heaven." The more Lucy spoke, the wider Maikel's eyes opened, although he tried to keep his face expressionless.
"Besides all that, I reviewed your file, you greedy boy. At six years old, your biggest dream was to be the best baseball player in the world, so I'm giving you the physique, the reflexes, the support, and the chance of a new life on a silver platter. Isn't that everything you could wish for?" she added without taking her eyes off Maikel.
Lucy looked genuinely confused, which somehow made her seem adorable rather than intimidating. Meanwhile, Maikel stared at her in absolute disbelief for several seconds, bewildered by her words.
'Is this really the same Lucifer from the stories?' he wondered in his mind. She was more clueless than he ever would have believed, and that had saved him.
At first, when she started speaking, he thought his mouth had doomed him, but fortunately, he had found a loophole to exploit. It was nice to see that the same mouth that got him into trouble also brought him opportunities.
"Haaaaaa. Yes, Miss Lucy, at some point I dreamed of that, but with your infinite wisdom, you should also know that, 'At six years old', I also dreamed of having a pet dinosaur... Dreams change when you grow up, you know?" It wasn't until after a sigh following their staring contest that he decided to explain to this woman who called herself Lucifer where her research error lay.
In the white space, silence reigned once again. For a moment, Maikel wondered if he had crossed the line when he saw the dark shadow in Lucy's eyes, but suddenly, and to his absolute surprise, a faint blush tinted Lucifer's pale cheeks.
'Thank heaven.' She didn't get angry; on the contrary, for a second, the most feared being in the universe seemed embarrassed.
'Luckily she didn't get angry. I should make the most of this situation, right? After all, I saved her daughter... her daughter.' While lost in his thoughts, Maikel realized something.
"Oh! If the Devil is a woman, how the hell did she get a mortal pregnant, who is also a woman, in Los Angeles?" Hearing his own words come out uncontrollably, his eyes widened, and a freezing chill ran down his spine.
'Shit, I ruined everything.' Maikel wanted to say something and break the ice that chilled this strange situation even more, but before he could think of anything, his ever-analytical brain, which he sometimes hated to death, pulled him in another direction and connected other dots from their recent conversation.
'Damn it, Maikel, you screwed up. You spoke without thinking again.' He expected to be instantly disintegrated or something, which terrified him.
He shrank in his seat, gripping the armrests tightly, expecting the worst. Five seconds passed until he noticed she didn't react immediately; in fact, she seemed to be staring into nothingness, blushing even more than before.
'Is she thinking about how to torture me for eternity for embarrassing her? Wait... Does the Devil feel embarrassment?' he wondered, not quite knowing what to do or say now.
The ensuing silence was thick. Maikel instantly regretted having spoken, hoping the ground would open up and swallow him, throwing him into fire and brimstone.
'Shit, she's moving,' he thought, worried as he saw her snapping out of her thoughts.
"Ahem, ahem," Lucy coughed dryly a couple of times, a sound meant to interrupt the chaotic thoughts of the soul in front of her.
After her brief blush, Lucy put back on her mask of cold indifference, adjusted the lapel of her suit, and took a long sip from her glass.
"Insolent brat..." she muttered to herself, although in the absolute void, her words echoed clearly into Maikel's ears.
Her red eyes locked onto him again, this time with an intensity that forced him to sit up straight in his armchair.
"I understand what you're saying; my servants might not have done their job well. Don't worry, I'll punish them later," she stated seriously. Maikel didn't even know if she was being serious or not.
'Forgive this sinner and his clumsy mouth, you poor bastards,' he could only apologize to them in a prayer.
"Don't worry, it'll just be a few lashes," Lucy suddenly said, pulling Maikel out of his train of thought.
"Wait... You can hear what I'm thinking?..." Maikel asked, logically more scared than fascinated. "Oh, right, you're the Devil. Sorry, stupid question."
'So she knew everything I was thinking from the very beginning! I'M DEAD!'
While Maikel imagined all the ways he could die, Lucy seemed somewhat tired of this conversation already, so she completely ignored his ramblings.
"Hey!" she called out, snapping him out of his thoughts so he would pay attention to her. "Alright. So, if baseball is a childhood dream, enlighten me. Besides fixing that problem of yours with your mouth and useless thoughts, what is your true desire?" she finally asked, deciding on her own, and leaving no room for argument, to bless this guy with the power of charm and the gift of the gab.
'Why is she forgiving me again? You know what, whatever. Let's just get this over with.' In his armchair, Maikel immediately composed himself, sitting up straight. He knew very well what he wanted from the beginning, so he didn't hesitate.
"My true dream is the whole world," he said, his voice sounding firm, stripped of sarcasm. "I want to be world-famous, no, more than that, I want to be an almighty among normal people."
All his life as a Hollywood agent, watching others succeed while he pulled the strings from the shadows. Maikel wanted to be part of the "Light," not just follow the current from behind.
"I want to be an actor who sets trends, a singer who paralyzes stadiums, a director revered by critics. An artist that everyone loves almost obsessively, and..." Maikel smirked, a dark glint in his eyes, "I want wives, of course. Beautiful, brilliant, and loyal women who love me, care for me, and please me, and to whom I can give the world in return."
Lucy blinked, taking in the avalanche of ambitions from this borderline-bipolar man. Incredibly, the guy hadn't thought about any of this until now, proving he wasn't so stupid after all and did have some self-control. Suddenly, her face lit up; Lucy looked genuinely cheerful now, like a collector who had just discovered a rare, priceless piece.
"I like how you think, so..." Lucy had started to speak, but Maikel wasn't finished.
"Wait a second," he raised a finger to interrupt her; he had already lost what little shame he had left.
'This is my chance to go all out.' His thoughts raced, but his mouth was already firing before he finished processing his ideas...
"Besides that, what you suggested earlier about the perfect body, the supernatural talent, and that 'support system'... I'd like to keep that too, just more inclined towards the arts than sports," he fired off everything he had in mind all at once.
"Ha!" Lucy smiled dryly, leaning back on the sofa as an amused smirk formed on her lips. "It's an ambitious dream, I'll grant you that. But you're quite greedy, don't you think, mortal?"
"Why settle for one thing when I can have two, or three, or all of them?" In response, Maikel shrugged, showing absolute indifference to the divine complaint.
"Hahahahaha, in the end, I do like you more than I expected," Lucy's laughter echoed in the white space, crystal clear and slightly disturbing. "You are ambitious and determined, a bit clumsy too, but nothing that can't be fixed with a Midas touch. Very well. I accept. You will reincarnate with what you ask for. You will have infinite talent and skills for any branch of art, a perfectly sculpted body, a lethal charm, and a management system so your little human mind doesn't collapse."
'It's happening, it's really happening! I can't believe she accepted,' emotion flooded Maikel's chest.
It was the perfect deal from his point of view. She had accepted easily and didn't get upset by his insolence; he was saved. The truth is he didn't want to just die like that, and as long as he had another chance, it didn't matter if it was the ROB or the Devil.
'Everything will be fine,' he thought cheerfully, but then, his paranoid negotiator instinct kicked in. Maikel remembered who he was talking to and an important detail about these deals disguised as rewards.
"Wait a minute..." Maikel leaned forward, feigning calm, but the slight tremor in his pupils gave him away. "This is one of those deals with the Devil that has a catch, right? Yes, yes, stating the obvious again, what I mean is, the fine print. What kind of twisted world are you going to send me to? Will I have to be the leader of a satanic cult in the basement of a mansion? Will I have to sacrifice virgins or publicly praise you in award speeches?" he fired off question after question uncontrollably.
'That would completely ruin my dream. If Tom Cruise gets in trouble for Scientology, I'll be crucified on social media and then literally in the streets for being a Satanist.'
"You..." Faced with his barrage of questions, Lucy stared at him for a second before bursting out. "Hahahahahahaha." The elegant woman in the suit doubled over on the sofa, laughing out loud and holding her stomach.
The image before him was so surreal that Maikel clenched his fists, torn between being scared of "uncovering Lucifer's true plan" and annoyed that she was blatantly laughing in his face.
"I'm being serious!" he exclaimed, losing his patience and, with it, his fear.
"Ha... Haha... ha." Lucy slowly calmed her laughter, wiping an invisible tear from the corner of her eye.
"Oh, humans and their paranoia..." she murmured in amusement, finally managing to calm down. "Don't worry about that nonsense, Maikel. The world you're going to is a normal Earth, almost identical to the one you came from, just in a different space-time timeline. And regarding praising me..." Lucy smiled smugly. "That particular Earth belongs to the sector under my direct jurisdiction and protection. So, basically, on that planet, whenever someone looks up at the sky and says 'Thank God', they are talking to me. You can use that phrase freely. I won't be offended."
Maikel exhaled the breath he didn't know he was holding, and his shoulders visibly relaxed.
"Alright, then. It's a deal," he said, now with more composure, but just like him earlier, Lucy wasn't finished. Her eyes flashed with malicious mischief.
"Although... regarding that whole creating a cult and having devoted women thing... the truth is you've given me a wonderful idea," she added playfully.
"What do you mean by that? Don't change the terms!" Maikel paled instantly.
"Oh, don't worry. I'll just add a small upgrade to your system. A personal touch from me. You'll see."
"Wait, no, explain what..."
"Time's up, Maikel," Lucy cut him off with a soft but absolute voice. She gave a single clap. The sound was deafening.
In the blink of an eye, the leather chair, the Victorian sofa, and the crystal glass disappeared like smoke in the wind.
Maikel fell flat on his ass on the hard marble floor with a grunt of pain. He rubbed his back, cursing under his breath, when he felt a cold, soft hand under his chin.
Lucy had crouched down in front of him. The distance between them was practically zero. The smell of sulfur mixed with a perfume of dark roses, intoxicating and dangerous. With one finger, she lifted his face, forcing him to look at her.
There was no more mockery in her eyes. There was an almost maternal warmth, ancient and deep.
"Have a happy life, Maikel," she whispered, her breath brushing his lips. "Take the happiness and the power that you always deserved and that was denied to you. Do not disappoint me."
Maikel was completely bewildered, captivated by the depth of that gaze. He opened his mouth to say something, to say thank you or throw out one last sarcastic remark, but he didn't have time.
The flawless white floor opened beneath him like an invisible maw. His stomach dropped to his throat as he plummeted into the void.
As he fell, he looked up and saw Lucy leaning over the edge of the rectangular hole, watching him descend. Her figure grew smaller and smaller as everything around him became thick, cold, and absolutely black. The darkness devoured him completely.
.....
Note 1: Hello everyone, thank you for reading. This is the beginning of a new story that I hope to carry through to the end with your support—and of course, if you enjoy it.
Note 2: Special recognition to "Two And A Half Men: A New Start In Hollywood" by Virtuosso. It's a fanfiction, apparently abandoned, on this same platform, which gave me the inspiration for the initial idea.
Note 3: If you have any suggestions, constructive criticism, or simply want to say something, don't hesitate to leave a comment. I hope this story becomes somewhat interactive between the readers and me through the comments