Following our guy was pretty easy with the massive trail of water and destruction he'd left behind. Crumpled trash cans, smashed brick walls, and massive cracks in the pavement marked his path.
We turned a corner, and both came to a stop at the rather gruesome sight waiting for us.
A massive, hulking man with corpse-gray skin was bent over, staring blankly into space. His enormous frame was wrapped in a torn, old-fashioned black suit that might've looked almost comical if the man wearing it wasn't covered in blood and guts.
Several bloodied and broken corpses surrounded him.
For a second, I worried we'd just walked into the aftermath of a massacre, but then I recognized the outfits they were wearing. My research into the Light had made me plenty familiar with Ra's al Ghul's pet assassins.
"Just to be sure…" I whispered. "That's him, right? Or did we somehow stumble across another super-strong zombie?"
It was a stupid question, but honestly, knowing my luck, it could go either way.
"Yeah… yeah, that's Grundy." Red Hood grimaced, keeping a tight grip on his pistol. "Not sure why the hell he's tangling with the League of Assassins, though."
"Well, any ideas on how to deal with him?"
"Depends… on how he turned out this time." Red Hood hesitated for a moment before seemingly coming to a decision. He holstered his pistol. "Let me try talking him down first. We're too close to the neighborhoods and homeless camps for my liking. Worst-case scenario, he's as strong as Superman and wrecks everything around here."
I nodded as I eyed the distant buildings.
It was pretty empty this close to the river, but another couple of blocks and we'd be smack dab in the Bowery.
"Here." I pulled out my buffing potions and passed them over. "Best to be prepared. Should give you enough juice to at least survive if you get hit."
Red Hood gave me a terse nod before quickly downing the different potions. Multicolored light washed over his body, and he shivered for a moment before stopping to stare at his hands.
"What the hell?"
"My discount Superman package," I replied. "Made some improvements recently. You can't fly, but your strength and durability should put you up there with high-level metas, at least."
"Duration?"
"Five or six minutes. You'll feel it when it starts to ebb."
Red Hood was silent for a moment before shaking his head and muttering something about "cheating bullshit powers" as he slowly moved toward Grundy.
I chuckled. It wasn't cheating when you were the one doing it. I would've loved to make some sort of Superman potion, but unless I got another buff from the gacha, I doubt I could.
The unfortunate limitation of buff potions was that they could only last so long. Crafting permanent potions was technically possible, but even with my buff potions, the best I could manage was giving someone a minor permanent boost to their physicality.
The problem was that doing so essentially took over a person's "potion slot."
Afterward, buffing and healing potions became noticeably less effective on them, so I hadn't bothered experimenting with permanent enhancements all that often. Trading away most of my temporary buffs for a small permanent increase just wasn't worth it.
I still wasn't sure whether that was a limitation of my Tinker potions or some actual biological limit in the people drinking them.
"Hey big guy!" Red Hood yelled, shuffling slowly toward Grundy. "You remember me?"
Grundy slowly turned his head.
Right… not the best time to get caught in a tinkering mood.
Taking out a few more bottles, I quickly downed my own suite of buffs before pulling out the Inverted Spear of Heaven. I had no idea how highly Grundy would rank, but better safe than sorry.
I would've summoned Gary and Stu already, but… the gargoyles weren't exactly the most restrained fellows.
Hopefully, I wouldn't be forced to summon them.
Red Hood walked closer to Grundy, stopping just outside the big guy's reach. I couldn't make out what he was saying from here, but Grundy turned his head and stared at him.
Things seemed to be going… well? I think.
After a minute or so, Grundy slowly stood, and Red Hood carefully backed away as he did. The big guy seemed to be listening well enough.
Okay, good.
This was good.
We just needed to get him toward a more secluded area before—
"Hurt…"
Grundy stopped.
"Hey, big guy, what's—" Red Hood began.
"You… you hurt Grundy!" Grundy stammered. A sigil suddenly lit up across his throat and chest with a harsh red glow. Ah, fuck. "Grundy no like hurt!"
He straightened to his full height with a roar.
"GRUNDY KILL YOU!"
The ground shook beneath him.
Then he launched himself straight at Red Hood.
—
Jason cursed as he rolled across the ground, feeling the displaced air wash over him as Grundy's fist came within inches of splattering him against the pavement.
He came up with his pistol already drawn and unloaded the entire magazine into the big guy.
Grundy's head whipped toward him with a low growl.
Naturally, even the armor-piercing rounds did jack shit. Jason's eyes caught on the glowing red sigil carved across the zombie's chest.
God, he hated magic.
Jason holstered the pistol and raised his fists as Grundy charged.
For all his ridiculous strength, Grundy wasn't much of a fighter. He swung like a berserker, all brute force and rage with barely any technique behind it. Normally, that wouldn't matter when every hit could turn a person into paste, but with Jean's potions running through him, Jason could actually keep up.
He ducked beneath a wild hook, stepped inside Grundy's reach, and drove a fist into his ribs.
The impact cracked through the street.
Jason just laughed.
His fists felt like iron, and his body had never felt so damn alive. He'd definitely need to see if he could crib a few more of these potions off Jean later.
Jason slipped another swing and hammered Grundy across the jaw, then followed with two more punches to the chest.
Despite the buffs and the massive gap in actual fighting skill, his punches weren't doing much more than annoying Grundy. Head, chest, knees, eyes—Jason went after damn near anything he could think of, trying to get some kind of reaction.
"SOLOMON GRUNDY BORN ON A MONDAY!" Grundy roared as he swung at Jason.
"Damn it!"
Jason ducked beneath another haymaker.
It had to be one of Grundy's stronger incarnations. Just his fucking luck.
Grundy roared and lowered his shoulder, getting ready to charge.
A glass bottle suddenly smashed across his face.
Green mist exploded outward, wrapping around Grundy's head.
Before Jason could even process it, Jean came flying out of the haze and landed on Grundy's back.
A knife flashed in his hand. Jean drove it straight into the side of Grundy's neck.
Grundy's arms thrashed wildly behind him, and one massive swing finally caught Jean, ripping him loose and sending him tumbling across the street.
Jason immediately broke away and ran over.
He grabbed Jean by the arm and hauled him back to his feet.
"What was that?"
"Nullification knife." Jean coughed, brushing dirt off his clothes. "It should—"
"GRUNDY NO LIKE!"
The knife was suddenly ripped free. Jason and Jean both dove aside as Grundy hurled it back at them. The blade buried itself deep in the pavement.
Jean stared at it for a second. "Well, shit." He picked up the knife and scowled. "Whatever's affecting him is beyond what the knife can nullify."
Jason kept his eyes on Grundy, who somehow looked even more pissed now, thrashing around and roaring at the empty air.
"Definitely pissed him off, though." Jason glanced toward Jean. "Got anything else in your toolbox? The gargoyles, maybe?"
"Not unless you want the Bowery to look like a war zone." Jean shook his head. "If I buff them up, they might be able to take him, but I'm not confident in their chances. The guy seems tough."
Jason grimaced. Having a few Superman-lites wrestling around in the middle of town was something he'd rather avoid.
Should he call the League?
He knew Grundy's stronger incarnations had taken multiple Leaguers to put down before, and Jason had the distinct feeling this version was even worse.
There was a crack of thunder. A bolt of lightning tore down from the sky.
Jason barely had time to cover his eyes before the whole street lit up white. Thunder rolled through the air hard enough to rattle the nearby windows, and by the time his vision cleared, smoke was pouring from the spot where Grundy had been standing.
"Jesus Christ!" Jason glared at Jean. "Give a guy a warning next time!"
"Sorry, sorry, but I think I got—"
A roar cut him off.
A massive chunk of pavement came spinning out of the smoke.
Jason's eyes widened as he grabbed Jean and dragged him down. The slab flew over them and smashed into the street behind with a deafening boom, exploding into chunks of concrete.
Grundy lumbered out of the smoke.
The big zombie wasn't even looking directly at them anymore. His head jerked erratically between the sky and the ground, which Jason supposed was technically a plus.
Other than that, though, he didn't look much worse for wear. A few singes marked his clothes, but that was about it.
"You were saying?" Jason muttered as he hurried back to his feet.
Jean coughed awkwardly. "Huh. Really thought that would work."
"We might need to bite the bullet and call in the heavy hitters." Jason scowled as he watched Grundy thrash at the air. "Either that, or we pin him down long enough to get a magician here and figure out whatever the hell is affecting him."
Jean frowned for a moment.
"…I think I might have something."
Jason glanced at him.
"But I need you to hold him still." Jean waved his hand, and several more bottles appeared in his grip. "These are sealant-foam potions. Smash them against him, and they'll expand." He handed them over. "Keep him pinned down, and wrench his mouth open. I need it open for this to work."
Jason took the bottles even as he clicked on the communicator at his belt. "I'll give it a shot, but I already sent the League a message in case we screw this up."
Jean nodded as he moved to flank Grundy.
Jason didn't waste any time.
He charged.
Grundy noticed immediately, his head snapping toward him as a roar tore from his throat.
"GRUNDY—"
Jason ducked under the first punch.
The swing passed over his head hard enough to stir his jacket, and Jason slipped inside Grundy's reach before smashing one of the potions against his thigh.
Yellow foam erupted across the zombie's leg.
The sealant wasn't all that different from some of Bruce's own gadgets, so Jason adjusted quickly. He ducked another wild punch, smashed a second bottle against Grundy's other leg, then another against his hip.
The yellow foam expanded almost instantly, flowing over Grundy's knees and feet before hardening against the pavement.
"GRUNDY NO LIKE STICKY!"
Grundy roared and reached down to start ripping it away.
Jason grabbed one arm, twisted with the motion, then slammed two more bottles against Grundy's wrists.
More foam exploded outward, binding his arms down toward his legs as he bent forward. It wouldn't hold for long. Jason could already hear the stuff cracking.
"Come on…"
He scrambled up Grundy's back and shifted onto his shoulders. Locking both legs around the giant's neck, Jason dug his heels in and hauled backward, forcing Grundy's head up and his jaw open.
"JEAN!"
Jean, carrying some kind of small can, jumped onto Grundy's front and jammed the can downward into his open mouth.
Not a second too soon.
The foam finally tore apart.
Grundy surged upright with a roar, throwing Jean backward.
"SOLOMON GRUNDY BORN ON—"
Grundy froze.
Jason let out a sigh of relief. Whatever the hell Jean had just given him, it actually—
Something snapped. A second later, the overwhelming sense of strength flooding through his body began to drain away just as quickly as it had come.
"Crap." The sudden drop in strength caught him off guard. Jason tried to jump away, but Grundy toppled backward first. The giant landed directly on top of him.
Jason grunted as several hundred pounds of undead muscle crushed him against the pavement.
"Goddammit. Now?"
Thankfully, the durability boost lingered just long enough that being flattened didn't actually hurt. Unfortunately, the strength boost didn't. Which meant Jason was now trapped underneath the zombie as he seemed to be having a seizure.
Jason glanced to his left.
Jean was standing a few feet away, shuffling awkwardly.
"A little help?"
"Uh…" Jean coughed. "No, you got this, man."
Jason frowned as he struggled to shimmy himself out from under Grundy.
"What? Why? What the hell did you give him?"
Grundy started shaking harder.
What the fuck?
Jean rubbed the back of his neck. "You know. Just some… feel-good medicine."
Jason finally managed to shimmy himself out from under Grundy's back before getting a proper look at the zombie's face.
Grundy looked downright blissful. Hell, almost—
…A terrible realization dawned on him.
Oh God.
Grundy's back arched as another violent shudder ran through his body.
Slowly, Jason turned his head toward Jean. "...Tell me that's not what I think it is."
Jean looked away as he slowly raised the can.
Ejaculatte
Jason read the label in absolute horror.
"MOOOOONDAY~!"
…Solomon Grundy came on a Monday.
***
Comments and Thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Likes are like a drug to me and boost my creative juices.
I have advanced chapters on Pa tre on/daisyberry if you wanna read ahead.