Chapter VI – Sacred Domain of the Round Table: Camelot.
"Well, spill it. So, that scrawny doctor was right?"
After delivering Romani to the infirmary and entrusting Ritsuka to keep an eye on him, Deadpool and Da Vinci-chan moved to Chaldea's lounge area to resume their interrupted conversation.
"You," Da Vinci-chan pointed a finger at Deadpool.
"Me?" he asked.
"Yes. You," she repeated, not lowering her hand.
"And what about me?" Deadpool tilted his head in confusion.
"I'll explain everything in detail now. Even if you don't understand anything, just listen. Unlike Romani, I'm not a fan of brief summaries, it's not my style. So, filter the information yourself."
With that introduction, Da Vinci-chan began her explanation:
"You came from a world fundamentally different from what we know. That's what makes you an 'Irregular.' You understood that yourself up to this point. But here's the catch… Due to your nature, you shouldn't and simply cannot exist here. And yet, one day, you 'accidentally' appeared in the Fuyuki Singularity… Don't you think that's too convenient for a coincidence?"
Deadpool thought hard about her words.
He had used a time travel device to fix some embarrassing moments in his biography and clean up timelines. How many times had he used it? Well, four or five times at most. Not that many, and he tried not to delve too deep into canon. He just finished all his business and was about to return to Vanessa to enjoy their love, when suddenly… his memory was wiped. He woke up in the burning Fuyuki – or whatever it was called – where he met the kid with Mash.
"I can see from your face that you don't understand yourself. Well, if you don't know, how can we? But the fact remains: you are an alien from another world. You were not officially summoned, you were not born from the singularity's Grail. You are a pure anomaly. As someone aptly put it, you are a monstrous perversion of nature."
In the North American Singularity, Cú Chulainn Alter, seeing Deadpool recover from hundreds of blows from a cursed spear that brought instant death, nicknamed him a "monster outside the laws of existence." The concept of "monster" is always relative, so, if you look closely, the definition was quite accurate.
"Since you appeared here, I've had a strange feeling. I don't have the gift of foresight, so I wasn't sure, but watching you, I saw more and more clearly how the truth began to distort."
Deadpool shook his head, showing that he understood absolutely nothing.
"Sigh… Let me give you examples. What if you hadn't met Ritsuka and Mash in Fuyuki? What if Director Olga-Marie was destined to die regardless of your presence? What if in Orleans, they could have found the Grail without your help?"
"Those are all things of the past," he waved it off.
"Actually, she's right. With my interference, the plot constantly goes awry. 'Canon breaking,' as they call it. But what will happen if I tell them that? The server of this game will simply explode. Just imagine: a game character realizes that his world is code, and he himself is a set of pixels… (Pool-san? When did you get out?)"
"Want a worse example?" Da Vinci-chan continued. "The Roman era. What if Ritsuka and Mash had met Nero instead of Boudica? And what if the correct outcome was Nero's victory over all Roman emperors?"
Having listened up to this point, Deadpool grumbled with clear displeasure:
"So you're saying that because of me, events that were supposed to happen are being distorted and going awry?"
"In theory – yes. I'm not sure myself. Damn! If I had 'Clairvoyance,' I could at least calculate the probabilities! Perhaps someone who reached the realm beyond the Third True Magic could…"
By the way, when Deadpool decided to think a little during the battle with Cú Chulainn, while Ritsuka and Mash were in danger, and pressed the "Pause" button on the remote, the shaggy Fou also found himself in that "stopped time zone." Making extremely unpleasant sounds, he demanded to be immediately thrown into the target…
"In the end, it turns out that I, an uninvited guest in this world, am re-plowing all the local fate lines."
"That's just a hypothesis. That's why I don't trust you. Although, in principle, you're not the most reliable guy. In fact, I only sent you with Ritsuka and Mash to understand: are you our friend or foe?"
"No, dear, it's not like that. We just didn't get along. Although, I admit, the temptation to provoke you is always great…" Deadpool thought.
"Thanks for the confession. Although I doubt you'll be kinder to me after such repentance."
"And rightly so. I don't like you."
"And I dislike you twice as much."
The atmosphere was tense, but to sum it up, the picture emerging was as follows.
Mash's condition was somehow related to Deadpool's influence. The only problem was that it remained a theory and speculation, not an accurate diagnosis.
"Alright, let's drop the subject! I have a request for you."
"What request?"
Deadpool felt strange. Why would Da Vinci-chan suddenly decide to ask him for something? Apparently, during the time he'd settled in Chaldea, they had managed to get used to each other – through mutual dislike, but still.
"Keep an eye on Ritsuka and Mash. This is no longer a condition of our deal, but simply a human request. If what happened to Mash is indeed a consequence of your influence on the world, then I see a bright side to it. I want Mash to be happy."
Hearing that some positivity had been found in his actions – even if it was as small as a speck of dust – Deadpool whistled. Da Vinci wasn't one for constant jokes, so her words felt sincere. And he hadn't been praised like this in a very long time.
"Thanks for the compliment. But keep in mind: as soon as I fix the time travel device, I'm leaving. Don't think I've forgotten about it while I've been lounging around here. As you said, I'm a monster, I don't belong here. It's logical to return to my world, isn't it?"
Having gone through five Singularities, Deadpool hadn't forgotten his goal for a moment.
He had a reason to return. A girlfriend and wife, a boyfriend and husband… okay, let's skip the "husband" part, but for what, in your opinion, was he messing with timelines? He had to return.
"Alright. I won't keep you here. Let's cancel the old deal. You fulfill my request, and I'll fix your device. When it's all over, the contract will be closed, and you'll leave. No hard feelings or claims. Deal?"
Da Vinci-chan's new condition. The previous agreement – the one where he had to collect those damn rare materials – was annulled. Deadpool nodded.
"Deal!" (Whispering) – At least I won't have to farm those damn resources anymore. I read the interlude to the eighteenth chapter of 'Fate/Grand Deadpool Order,' there was something about events… Seriously? You think my story will have events?! I cleared 'Gudaguda Honnoji' with a damn beam from my ass! Alright, never mind. The rerun of the summer event is probably in full swing now… I'm jealous… Beach Servants with curves… Damn it…"
Shaking Da Vinci-chan's hand, Deadpool continued to spout nonsense, addressing the void. At that moment, even the brilliant inventor began to doubt: doesn't some "Fourth Law" actually exist, prohibiting such individuals from existing in reality?
"And what about the next Singularity? Will you leave Mash here?"
"Mash will go with us. And she's not the type of girl to sit around while others work. As soon as she wakes up, she'll be ready to go."
And that's true. Mash never knew how to take care of herself.
Since Deadpool took on the role of a nanny, he usually relied on his own judgment unless it involved something truly dangerous. However, the search for the Holy Grail was becoming increasingly difficult and exhausting. Whether it was due to an obsessive desire to become stronger, or for the well-being of the kid, Wade's recklessness knew no bounds.
"Just tell her to rest," he said. "I'll go alone."
"No, that's out of the question," Da Vinci objected. "Your compatibility with the rayshift is excellent, but the Master still needs at least one escort. Are you sure you can protect Ritsuka alone?"
To be honest, the task was not easy. Deadpool wasn't going to lie and simply shook his head.
"That's why I created 'Made in Fate.' As a last resort. Of course, it will cost one Command Seal… But that's why Mash must go with you. So behave as usual. Don't make any sudden moves, don't lose it anywhere. Just like always…"
Da Vinci-chan looked at him with pleading eyes, which was completely unlike her. Deadpool found it suspicious – why such unusual submissiveness? – But for Mash's sake, he decided to behave naturally.
"Ah, well, I always disappear somewhere. It would be strange if I didn't, right?"
"Just!" she sighed. "...Don't give me any more headaches."
After finishing the conversation, they both headed to the infirmary.
Just then, Mash woke up.
It seemed the sleep was deep and peaceful: her healthy blush had returned, and her face looked noticeably refreshed.
"Mash! How are you?!" Ritsuka shouted. "Does anything hurt?! Mash!!"
Except for the commotion raised by him and Romani, everything was fine.
"Roman, Senpai, I'm fine," Mash just smiled meekly, looking at their boisterous reaction.
"Oh. I forgot to tell them," Da Vinci whispered.
"It's fine, if I keep quiet, everything will be okay," Deadpool replied.
Da Vinci-chan glared at him threateningly in response, silently ordering him not to utter a word, and mimed zipping her lips.
"Why are you zipping it? I should be the one… Ow!"
Deadpool clearly didn't get the hint, and an annoyed Da Vinci pinched him hard just below the back.
"You all look so lively," Mash remarked, sitting on the bed with a radiant smile. "Did something happen?"
At these words, Romani, Ritsuka, Da Vinci, and Deadpool awkwardly averted their gazes. Someone muttered under their breath, someone started whistling, someone examined their nails or picked their ear.
"Ah, well, since Mash is back in action, maybe we should head to the next Singularity?" Romani tried to break the ice, leading Ritsuka and Mash out of the infirmary.
"Remember what I said. Tongue. Behind. Teeth," Da Vinci threatened.
"I'd worry more about those two," Deadpool just shrugged in response to her instructions.
"Next stop – Jerusalem. You've probably heard of it? The famous Holy Land. The cradle of three religions and a place of great pain, where holy wars are still waged for its possession."
Romani, setting the coordinates at the control point, looked around, noticing that no one was nearby. Looking into the distance, he saw Da Vinci-chan standing a little apart from Deadpool.
"Uh, Da Vinci-san? Why are you standing there?"
"I'm coming too," she said curtly.
"Why?" Romani was clearly confused.
"I want to."
Another brief answer.
"Can you be more specific?"
"This is Jerusalem! The legendary Holy Land! And you've set the time to the thirteenth century. The height of the Crusades, when Western knights and Eastern Muslims fought to the death!"
The holy war, which Christians called the Crusades and Muslims called Jihad. Jerusalem was their origin and symbol. Preaching harmony and peace, both sides relentlessly shed innocent blood to reclaim the holy site.
"Personally, I want to see the confrontation between Richard the Lionheart and Saladin. Or at least talk to one of them."
"Oh, by the way, it's Saladin, not Salah ad-Din. Pronounce it correctly... Oof!"
Da Vinci-chan, tired of his inappropriate corrections, elbowed him straight in the stomach.
"Are you really going with us? But we have Wade..." Ritsuka was curious why she, who always stayed at headquarters, suddenly decided to go on the journey.
Da Vinci smiled her signature Mona Lisa smile.
"The further we advance in our search for the Grail, the more dangerous the trials will be. So far, we've managed thanks to this guy, but who knows what awaits us in this singularity. Besides, I want to take a little walk too."
"But... but if you're not here, I'll be alone..." Romani began to turn pale.
"Good luck~♡" she waved her hand.
Romani was horrified. Da Vinci's help allowed them to somehow cover the gaps left by fallen personnel after the terrorist attack. Moreover, after the death of Director Olga-Marie, it was Romani who turned out to be the highest-ranking employee, and he had to take on the duties of acting director, constantly battling fatigue.
"Hey, doc!"
Romani, whose head was already spinning at the thought of the workload, listlessly turned at the call. Deadpool threw him some kind of vial. The label read:
"Dionysus's Tonic. Strawberry flavor."
"P-Pool-san..." Romani couldn't believe his eyes. Wade always just tormented him, and now he suddenly showed concern. Overwhelmed with emotion, tears welled up in the doctor's eyes.
"I-I didn't do this for you at all! Aunt Medea just gave it to me, and I tinkered with it a bit... Anyway, take it and don't complain!"
"Oh, he's such a tsundere..." Ritsuka watched the scene with surprise. Deadpool was behaving completely differently than usual today.
"Well, even a broken clock shows the right time once a day. So, you're not hopeless after all?"
"I'm not broken!" Deadpool snapped back, trying not to look at Da Vinci, who continued to tease him by nudging him in the side.
"Well, I'll do my best too, so you guys try your best," Romani said. "Pool-san, good luck. Da Vinci-chan... try not to cause trouble."
Deadpool, embarrassed, crossed his arms and turned away, while Da Vinci winked slyly, clearly not intending to promise good behavior.
"And Ritsuka, Mash... take care of each other. Okay?"
Under Romani's encouraging gaze, the young man and girl looked at each other and clasped hands tightly.
"Rei-shift... launch!"
The system whirred to life, and the bodies of the four travelers began to dissolve into space, transporting them to Jerusalem in the year 1273.