Despite the sudden attack on the American army's rear camp, the situation did not become critical. This was because the "Fianna squad" of the Celtic army, which had arrived as a diversionary group, ran into a cordon of Servants.
"Senpai, I'll take them! Awaiting orders!"
Mash adjusted her grip on her shield and stood in the path of Diarmuid O'Dina, the first spear of the Fianna squad.
"A Shield Servant, you say? Looking at your steadfastness, one can't help but recall the parable of the contest between spear and shield. Which will prove stronger? In the end, it all depends on the skill of the wielder! I, Diarmuid O'Dina, am ready to fight you with all my might."
Diarmuid introduced himself with the grace and nobility of a true knight – so courteous to an enemy that Mash hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should respond with equal formality.
"Uh... well... Master... that is, Senpai's shield! Mash Kyrielight. I will also give my all in battle with you!"
Seeing her clumsy but sincere determination, Diarmuid smiled with satisfaction.
Meanwhile, another member of the Fianna squad, their leader Finn Mac Cumhaill, was initially completely charmed by Mash's passion and beauty and immediately proposed to her. However, by some cruel twist of fate, his confession went to the wrong person, and now he was beside himself with rage.
"I am the leader of the Fianna squad! I am the wise Finn Mac Cumhaill! And you, red Servant, dared to defile my dignity! I will not forgive you for this!"
His spear was aimed at Deadpool, who had very crudely disguised himself as Mash. The latter, deliberately portraying a fragile girl, began to wiggle his rear end with all his might.
"Oh, mommy! Why are you angry, sweetie? ♡ To abandon me right after there was a spark between us... Oh, how manly you are!"
Deadpool's antics nearly turned the stomachs of everyone present: Finn Mac Cumhaill himself, and Ritsuka, Mash, and Diarmuid standing nearby. Even the American soldiers in the vicinity turned green in unison and began to gag.
"[H-hey, guys? Is everything okay over there? I just detected some energy surge that almost distorted space-time... Oh my god!]"
Witnessing the horrific spectacle – Deadpool tearing the very fabric of reality with his "charm" – Romani felt such a sharp pain in his eyes as if they were rotting, and immediately cut off the connection. This was a curse of truly mass destruction, worthy of a Noble Phantasm. The only problem was that it wasn't a Phantasm at all, but just flirtatiousness mixed with cheap cross-dressing.
"I swear by the sun in the heavens, the Queen, and the Mad King!" roared Finn Mac Cumhaill. "I will pierce the heart of this insolent pervert with my spear!"
Finn was on the verge of hysteria. Only the presence of Diarmuid, who was trying to calm him down, kept the leader from descending into madness like a Berserker.
"Alright, alright, stop fooling around. Well, go to mommy, hubby? ♡" Deadpool finally shed the women's clothes, returned to his previous appearance, and, drawing his twin swords, beckoned his opponent with a finger.
As the atmosphere, which had almost become completely absurd, returned to a combat footing, the four Servants gripped their weapons.
"First move is mine!"
It was Deadpool who broke the tension between the fighters. Believing that the first strike decides everything, he lunged at Finn, but contrary to his usual style, he awkwardly sprawled on his belly as soon as he pushed off the ground.
"What the? What is this now?"
He was supposed to unleash a barrage of attacks on the enemy in a lightning-fast charge, and Deadpool himself couldn't believe he had fallen so disgracefully.
"Ha! Serves you right. So much pomp and provocation, and in reality – a pathetic sight. Take this!"
The initiative was lost, and now Finn charged, spinning his spear. Fortunately, Deadpool's combat instincts didn't fail him: he managed to dodge and parry the thrusts. Waiting for the moment when the enemy was exposed, he tried to close the distance for a strike again.
"Ouch-y!"
But predictably, he crashed down a second time.
"Wade, what are you doing? Fight, damn it!" Ritsuka shouted. He was convinced that Wade was still clowning around, and it was starting to annoy him.
However, Deadpool looked at his hands with complete bewilderment. His body wasn't obeying him. And that meant something supernatural was happening.
"Are you still planning to mock me? To ridicule the leader of the Fianna squad... I won't forgive you!"
Finn, also deciding it was another taunt, began to wield his spear with even greater fury.
"What's wrong with my body? Why isn't it moving properly?!"
The situation was a stalemate. Dodging became increasingly difficult: his movements became sluggish, and his muscles suddenly lost their strength. The spear shaft knocked him down, followed by a hail of blows from which there was no defense. Without landing a single proper blow, Deadpool turned into a bloody mess under Finn's onslaught.
"Healing factor is normal. But why then?"
"Wade!"
Ritsuka finally realized this was no joke. Something was wrong. Attacks that Deadpool usually dodged with ease were now hitting their mark, and he himself was moving as if in slow motion.
"Ha! What a weakling. You talked so much, but turned out to be an empty shell, only good for wagging your tongue! You're not even worth my time. Die!"
Deadpool tried to dodge the blow again, but, as expected, his legs buckled, and he slammed into the ground once more. Finn raised his spear high and brought it down with all his might, aiming directly at the enemy's head.
"Wade! Watch out!"
"Ah, screw it. I give up. I have no strength at all."
Despite Ritsuka's cry, Deadpool simply sprawled on the ground, utterly exhausted. Of course, regeneration should restore him, even if his head was blown to smithereens. But what if it failed now too? A chill of the grave emanated from this thought. But it was too late.
"Die!"
Finn Mac Cumhaill was already grinning triumphantly, but a sudden shot made him flinch. Noticing the bullet flying towards him, he deflected his spear at the last moment and blocked it. Bouncing back to a safe distance, Finn saw a woman in a red uniform aiming a pistol at him.
"Nightingale!"
"Miss Nightingale?"
"What are you doing here?"
Ritsuka's companions chattered incessantly. But she, ignoring the shouts, pointed her pepperbox revolver at Finn with a completely impassive face.
"Ha! Is that the renowned American army doctor? That crazy girl who treats the wounded by cutting off their limbs?"
Finn Mac Cumhaill mockingly twirled his spear. What could some non-combatant medic, even with a gun in hand, do to him?
"Leave! You have no place on the battlefield. Go deal with your cripples. You'll all die by our army's hands soon anyway...—"
"Shut your mouth!" Nightingale interrupted him. "I'm not here to fight you. I'm fighting the infection named 'you'."
As she spoke, fixing Finn with an icy gaze, everyone present – including Finn, Deadpool, Mash, Ritsuka, and Diarmuid – simultaneously tilted their heads to the side. Fighting an infection?
"I am a nurse. A nurse's duty is to eliminate the source of pain for the wounded. Be it a wound, a disease, or a bacterium, anything harmful is subject to amputation and removal! And now I will remove the bacterium named 'you', which has become the cause of our soldiers' suffering!"
Before this unwavering, unhindered faith of Nightingale, everyone just shook their heads in amazement.
"So, it is a battle after all," Finn was the first to lower his spear, as if suddenly losing interest in the proceedings. "But I am the head of the knights of Fiona. I do not fight civilians unnecessarily. A noble knight should act precisely so."
Diarmuid, who had just been exchanging blows, immediately ceased his attack and stood by his master.
"What? Going into hiding already? Baby, was our 'one-night stand' worth so little... kh-ha!"
"Shut up! Before I amputate your tongue! You are not yet cured! Just be quiet and don't move!"
While Deadpool tried to provoke Finn, Nightingale stepped on his face with her heel, cutting off his eloquent flow. The sight of someone so unceremoniously silencing the talkative Deadpool was truly astonishing.
"Your name is Nightingale? Good. It's not the time now, so we will retreat. But we will definitely meet again. Then we'll see if you can amputate me like a bacterium."
"There's no need to check. I will definitely amputate. Even if I have to go under the knife myself. The root of all diseases must be eradicated."
"And you, Mash, Shield Servant!" Finn addressed her one last time, maintaining his knightly bearing. "Your passion and dignity have conquered me. I will surely defeat you and make you my bride! Wait for it."
Having said all he wanted and ignoring Nightingale's stubbornness, Finn, along with Diarmuid, left the camp.
"You saved us, Nightingale. If it weren't for you..." Ritsuka and the others approached her to thank her for her intervention when the brief skirmish ended.
However, the nurse, with an annoyed look, began to diligently stomp on Deadpool, who was rolling on the ground.
"I was foolish! I thought since he recovered quickly, he was already healthy! I'll have to amputate again. This time, all limbs, affected areas, and even the heart. I signed the consent with my authority. Refuse – and I'll amputate. Be silent and follow me!"
Without listening to their thanks, she dragged Deadpool back to the tent.
"Help..." Deadpool was so terrified that he couldn't even scream. He only wheezed quietly towards Ritsuka, desperately scratching the ground with his fingers, leaving pathetic furrows behind him.
After some time, Ritsuka and Mash sat on chairs in front of the tent, passing the time – Nightingale had made it clear that anyone who entered would face amputation. Nothing special was happening, except for the pleas for salvation and screams full of pain emanating from inside.
"Relatives of the patient? Come in. We need to talk."
A little more time passed, and Nightingale, appearing in the tent's entrance in a blood-stained apron, called them.
"I thought the patient's movements were slow, so I stimulated his nervous system and amputated his Achilles tendons. But they recovered immediately. Astonishing. Of course, the recovery was successful, but he's still slow."
A flicker of lively interest flashed across Nightingale's emotionless face. She looked at Deadpool, who was now tightly wrapped in a straitjacket from a psychiatric hospital that had appeared out of nowhere.
"A-a-a-u... y-y-a... more morphine... a-a-o-u..." Deadpool, who had been gagged and given a maximum dose of morphine due to his resistance and noise, was in a stupor. He drooled, having completely lost touch with reality. Ritsuka doubted if he had any consciousness to begin with, but the scene now looked truly pathetic.
"But that's not the problem. During the body's recovery process, I noticed a very strange reaction in one place." Leaving pity for Deadpool aside, Nightingale continued her explanation. She unrolled an anatomical diagram based on the mercenary's body and pointed to the heart area.
"Upon opening the chest cavity, I discovered a small wound on the heart itself. It functions normally, but it gives the impression that it is bound by something unknown. This is beyond my competence. Ordinary amputation won't help here. However, they say artificial hearts will appear in five hundred years, so we could amputate it now and freeze the patient until then."
Ritsuka's ears began to ring from her incessant speech – she was like a skirt-wearing Deadpool. But the words about the strangeness in the heart made him think.
"Senpai, maybe something is wrong with Mr. Pool because of..."
"King-Mage. Cú Chulainn's curse?"
As their thoughts converged on this, they remembered Cú Chulainn's Noble Phantasm – "Gáe Bolg."
A magical spear like a barb that pierces the heart, literally reversing cause and effect. The curse of this weapon is so strong that anyone pierced by it is considered dead. For the immortal Deadpool, this curse clinging to his heart could very well be the cause of the anomalies.
"Madam Nurse! Mr. Vice President has arrived!"
At that moment, another orderly ran into the tent and hastily called out to Nightingale.
"Quiet! And who allowed you to enter without disinfection? It's dirty here! Disinfect yourselves immediately! Exterminate the microbes! Maintain hygiene!"
Her next reprimand was interrupted by the appearance of a little girl with purple hair.
"Mr. Vice President! Industry and Dominion!"
"At ease."
The orderly saluted the "Vice President" with a strange slogan, and the girl casually accepted the greeting. Behind her stood robots painted in the colors of the American flag, which they had already seen on the battlefield.
"Hmm. Good work, Nightingale. His Majesty the President-King wishes to see you and these people. And that red Servant, pumped full of medicine, too."
"You know about us?" Ritsuka looked at the girl. She responded with a displeased look.
"What? Is this the first time you've seen a Vice President like this?"
"Ah... no."
Broken by her assertiveness, Ritsuka averted his gaze and quieted down.
"I, Helena Blavatsky, Vice President of the great American Empire, command. All of you go to a meeting with the President-King. Immediately!"
At Helena Blavatsky's word, the mechanical soldiers behind her raised their rifles with a low hum.