Renji was halfway down the corridor, trying to shake off the image of the ear-twitching Dark Elf, when the System chimed again.
This time, the holographic window was bordered in iron-grey, the signature color of his General of Armies.
[Message Received from: High-Warlord Grakkor]
[Subject: The Eastern Front & Tribute]
[Body: My Lord! The Duchy of Oakhaven has surrendered without bloodshed. The Duke wishes to retain his head and his title. He has offered the Keys to the City and his eldest daughter, Lady Valeriana, to join the Inner Palace.]
Renji slowed his pace, reading the rest of the message.
[Tactical Note: Oakhaven is the staging ground for the invasion of the Theocracy. We need the populace compliant. If you accept the daughter, the local knights will fight for us. Treat her kindly. Romantically. Make her love you, and her father's army will follow you into hell. - Grakkor]
Renji stared at the floating text.
"An Orc is giving me dating advice," Renji muttered, rubbing his temples. "And he's telling me to seduce a noblewoman for logistical support. What has my life become?"
He sighed. He couldn't refuse. If he rejected the girl, the Duke might panic and rebel, burning the very supply lines Renji needed for the war.
"System," he said. "Where is she?"
[Lady Valeriana is waiting in the Jade Tea Room.]
"Right. Time to turn on the charm."
The Jade Tea Room was a small, intimate space separated from the main harem by a screen of enchanted bamboo. It was quiet, smelling of jasmine and ozone.
When Renji entered, she was already seated on a silk cushion at the low table.
She was wearing a heavy travel cloak that obscured her figure, and her face was hidden behind a veil of sheer midnight-blue silk. Only her hair was visible—a cascade of vibrant, electric blue waves that spilled over her shoulders like a waterfall.
Renji adjusted his heavy royal mantle and sat down opposite her. He sat with perfect posture, the picture of a calm, benevolent ruler.
"My Lord," she said. Her voice was low, sultry, and held a confident edge that the other consorts lacked. She bowed her head slightly. "I am Valeriana of Oakhaven."
"Rise, Lady Valeriana," Renji said, his voice smooth. "Your father made a wise choice."
He tried to recall Grakkor's advice. Treat her kindly. Romantically.
Renji cleared his throat. He needed to bridge the gap between "ruthless conqueror" and "potential lover," but his brain was still stuck in strategy mode.
"Your... territory," Renji started, trying to sound seductive but failing internally. "It has excellent geography. I have admired its... topography... from afar."
Topography? Really? He mentally kicked himself.
Valeriana tilted her head. "My topography pleases you, my King?"
"Yes," Renji pushed on, sweating slightly under his silk tunic. "The... rolling hills. The defensive choke points. And the grain production. It is a very... fertile... region. Just as I am sure you are... capable... of managing the estate."
Oh god, Renji thought. I am flirting like a tax auditor.
"I mean to say," Renji tried to salvage it, leaning forward and resting his hand on the table, trying to look intense and passionate. "Your presence here secures the bond between our people. You are vital to my plans. Just as your beauty is... strategically significant."
Valeriana went silent.
For a second, Renji thought he blew it. He thought she was going to laugh, or cry, or run away.
Instead, she laughed. A low, throaty sound.
"Strategically significant beauty?" she murmured. "You have a unique way with words, Conqueror."
Suddenly, she moved.
It wasn't the timid movement of a tribute. It was a pounce.
Valeriana lunged across the low table. The tea set rattled as she bypassed it entirely, launching herself directly at him.
"Whoa—!" Renji started, his combat reflexes flaring.
She landed straddling his lap, her knees pinning his legs to the chair. In one fluid motion, she ripped the veil from her face and threw her heavy cloak to the floor.
Renji's jaw literally dropped.
Under the cloak, she wore an outfit that was less "noble daughter" and more "high-fantasy sorceress." It was a form-fitting bodysuit of black leather and silver mesh that hugged curves that defied engineering.
But it was her face that stopped his heart. She was devastating. High cheekbones, full lips painted a dark violet, and eyes the color of storms. There was a hunger in her expression that terrified and thrilled him.
"I don't care about the grain, my King," Valeriana whispered, leaning in so close her nose brushed his. "My father sent me to save his city. But I came because I wanted to see the man who killed a dragon with his bare hands."
She ran a gloved hand up his chest, tracing the silver embroidery.
"You are strong," she purred. "I like strong."
Renji stared at her. Holy shit, he thought. Jackpot.
She was a baddie. A certified, Level 99 baddie. And she was currently sitting on him like he was a throne.
"I..." Renji started, his brain short-circuiting.
Valeriana smiled, a predatory grin. "You were trying to be romantic, yes? Don't bother with words. Show me the power that broke the world."
She leaned in, her eyes half-lidded, closing the gap—
Creak.
The heavy wooden door to the tea room swung open.
"My Lord! Apologies for the intrusion!"
The booming voice of Grakkor shattered the mood like a hammer hitting glass.
Renji froze. Valeriana froze, though she didn't get off his lap.
Renji slowly turned his head toward the door.
Grakkor stood there in his human form—tall, rugged, and completely oblivious. He was holding a stack of maps.
Behind him stood Vexia.
Vexia was not oblivious.
Her blue eyes were locked onto Valeriana's position on Renji's lap. Her face was a mask of absolute shock that was rapidly curdling into a dark, flushed anger. Her hands were clenched so tight at her sides that Renji could hear the fabric of her dress straining.
There was a long, agonizing silence.
"I..." Renji cleared his throat, his face burning. "I was just... discussing strategy."
Vexia's eye twitched. "Strategy," she repeated, her voice brittle. "Is that what we call it now? Is she a new tactical map, my Lord?"
Valeriana, to her credit, didn't flinch. She looked over her shoulder at Vexia and smirked. She tightened her grip on Renji's shoulders.
Grakkor stepped into the room, stepping right past the tension as if it didn't exist.
"Strategy indeed!" Grakkor boomed happily. "That is why I came! Since Lady Valeriana is here, and the alliance is formed, I have prepared the Royal Carriage!"
Renji blinked, desperate for a way out of this social disaster. "The carriage?"
"Yes!" Grakkor nodded enthusiastically. "A Royal Tour of the newly conquered Oakhaven! You and Lady Valeriana, riding through the streets together! It will solidify your rule and show the people their new Queen-Consort is favored by the King!"
Grakkor gave Renji a thumbs up. "Just as we discussed! Romantic and Kind! A long carriage ride to the East. Just the two of you."
Renji felt the blood drain from his face. A long carriage ride. Alone. With the woman who had just tackled him.
"Grakkor," Renji said weakly. "That is... very efficient of you."
"The carriage waits at the gates!" Grakkor beamed.
Valeriana turned back to Renji, her eyes sparkling. "A tour?" She leaned in even closer, pressing her chest against his. "How wonderful. We have so much to... discuss."
Renji looked past her at the doorway.
Vexia looked like she was about to transform back into a giant spider and eat everyone in the room. Her face was flushed a deep, angry red, and she was visibly grinding her teeth. The sound was audible. Grrrk.
"Wonderful," Renji said, his smile tight and pained. "Let's... let's go."
He stood up, forcing Valeriana to finally slide off him, though she kept a possessive hand on his arm.
As they walked past the doorway, Renji avoided eye contact with Vexia.
"Excellent work, Grakkor," Renji muttered.
"I live to serve!" Grakkor replied.
As Renji was dragged toward the carriage by his new, very eager consort, he heard a sound behind him. It sounded like Vexia snapping a solid oak door handle in half with her bare grip.
War with the Theocracy will be easy, Renji thought. Surviving this carriage ride is the real boss battle.