In the vast, silent hierarchy of the Possible subterranean empire, there was a very specific protocol for planetary invasions, rogue AI uprisings, and accidental black hole manifestations. There was not, however, a pre-written protocol for "Rodent-Induced Reality Failure."
Mim Possible stood in the center of Sublevel 5,000,000—the Prehistoric Rodent Observation Ward—and stared at the shimmering, jagged hole in the containment unit. To anyone else, it looked like a glitch in a video game, a patch of the world that had simply forgotten to render. To Mim, it was a forensic disaster.
"H.E.L.E.N.," Mim said, her voice dropping into the low, dangerous octave she used when the laws of physics were being treated like suggestions. "Magnify the residue on the fracture point."
A holographic zoom-lens materialized in the air, showing a microscopic view of the glass. Clinging to the jagged edges were tiny, glowing orange hairs and a faint smear of purple juice.
"The juice is from the Phase-Shift Berry," Mim whispered, her eyes widening behind her glasses. "He didn't just chew through the glass. He became the glass. He phased through the molecular lattice and took a bite of the structural integrity on his way out."
"Analysis confirms," H.E.L.E.N. replied. "Subject 001-H, affectionately known as 'Fluffy,' has achieved a state of quantum superposition. His metabolism, already boosted by the cold-fusion marrow-transplant, has reacted with the temporal properties of the Mythical Flora. Current status: Fluffy is simultaneously everywhere in Middleton and nowhere at all."
Mim leaned against a console, her brain running at 500 terabytes per second. Fluffy was a Cricetus Prehistoricus-Quantum. In his natural, prehistoric state, he was the size of a small badger with teeth designed to crack through frozen tundra. With the cold-fusion upgrade, he was a self-sustaining nuclear reactor with the attention span of a goldfish. And now, with the Phase-Shift Berry in his system, he was a living, breathing Level 5 Reality Glitch.
"He's not trying to destroy the world," Mim muttered, pacing the lab. "He's just looking for a snack. But every time his heart beats, he releases a graviton pulse. If he hits a high-stress state—like seeing a cat or a loud truck—the pulses will synchronize. If they synchronize, the localized gravity will become high enough to turn Middleton into a singularity."
A sharp chirp from her molar implant reminded her that she wasn't alone in her panic. The Genius Coalition call was still active on her HUD.
"Architect! Are you still there?" Jimmy Neutron's voice was frantic. "The energy spikes are moving again! They just passed the 'Bueno Nacho' on 5th Street! My sensors are picking up a massive surge in... Vitamin C and sodium?"
Mim snapped back into her "Architect" persona, her voice-distorter instantly deepening her tone. "I am here, Neutron. I am tracking the anomaly's trajectory. Maintain your position."
"Architect, you must listen to me!" Dexter's face reappeared on the screen, his goggles reflecting a dizzying array of scrolling code. "The spectral decay is accelerating! I have calculated that if we do not fire my 'Anti-Matter Harpoon' at the epicenter within twenty minutes, the entire town will be replaced by a void! Why are you hesitating? Are you compromised?"
"I am not compromised, Dexter," Mim snapped, while her left hand was frantically typing commands to a fleet of cloaked drones. "I am being precise. Your 'harpoon' would only aggravate the phase-shift. We need a non-invasive containment method."
"Phineas here!" The red-headed boy waved from the other screen. "The purple cloud is over the mall now! And guess what? The fountain is currently shooting orange soda instead of water! Ferb thinks it's an improvement, but the mall security guard looks very confused."
Mim watched a secondary map on her HUD. A small, orange dot—Fluffy—was indeed flickering in the mall's food court. Every time he "blinked," the reality around him shifted. A soda fountain turned into a nectar-dispenser. A tiled floor turned into moss. A plastic chair turned into a very confused prehistoric fern.
"H.E.L.E.N., deploy the 'Wraith' drones," Mim commanded silently through her neural link. "Set them to 'Phase-Sync Mode.' They need to match Fluffy's frequency so they can actually touch him. And for heaven's sake, keep them cloaked! If Kim sees a squadron of high-tech drones chasing a glowing hamster through the food court, my 'quiet sister' cover is blown."
"Drones deployed, Doctor. Estimated time to mall: Three minutes."
Mim was now playing a high-stakes game of mental chess. On one side of her brain, she was leading a council of the world's most arrogant boy-geniuses, feeding them just enough fake data to keep them from nuking her hometown. On the other side, she was acting as a multiversal animal control officer, trying to catch a reality-warping rodent before he turned the Middleton mall into a prehistoric swamp.
"Jimmy," Mim said, her "Architect" voice calm and authoritative. "The sodium surge you detected isn't a threat. It's a byproduct of the anomaly's interaction with localized snack-matter. I want you to focus your satellite on the mall's roof. If the energy levels hit the 8.0 mark, I want you to fire a single dampening pulse. Not a blast, Jimmy. A pulse."
"A pulse? But that won't stop it!" Jimmy protested.
"It will slow it down enough for my ground-team to neutralize it," Mim lied. "Trust the process, Neutron."
"I don't like it," Dexter grumbled. "It is unscientific! It is slow! It is... wait. What is that?"
On Dexter's feed, a blurred image appeared. It was a photo taken by a mall security camera. In the center of the frame, near a discarded bag of 'Nacho-Cheese Extremes,' was a blurry, glowing orange shape. It had tiny, glowing paws and a very determined look on its face.
"It is a ghost!" Dexter shouted. "A ghost-beast from the netherworld!"
"Actually," Phineas said, squinting at the screen, "it looks a little like a hamster. A very, very large, glowing hamster. Ferb, didn't we see a hamster like that in that book about the Pleistocene era?"
Mim felt her heart skip a beat. Too close. They're getting too close.
"It is a spatial manifestation of human fear," Mim announced, her voice-distorter adding an extra layer of gravelly conviction. "The visual data is being corrupted by the gravity well. Ignore the shape, focus on the energy readings. Phineas, check the mall's ventilation system. If the anomaly enters the ducts, the pressure-variance will increase."
"On it, Architect!" Phineas chirped.
Mim diverted her attention back to her drone feed. The 'Wraith' drones had reached the mall. Through their multi-spectral cameras, she finally saw him.
Fluffy was currently sitting on top of a "Nacho Outpost" counter. He was glowing with the intensity of a thousand suns, his fur rippling with purple static. He was holding a single, giant nacho chip in his paws, looking at it with a mix of reverence and confusion. Every time he took a bite, a shockwave of lavender-scented energy rippled outward, turning the nearby napkin holders into solid gold and back again.
"Oh, Fluffy," Mim whispered, her heart aching slightly. "You just wanted the cheese, didn't you?"
She tapped a command. "H.E.L.E.N., initiate the Lure. Release the 'Sunflower Seed Pheromone' into the North Ventilation Duct. Lead him away from the public. If he blinks near a crowd, the resulting 'Phase-Burst' will turn everyone in a fifty-foot radius into toddlers."
"Pheromone released. Subject 001-H has detected the scent. He is... he is eating the nacho chip at a highly accelerated rate and moving toward the duct."
On the Coalition screen, the data began to shift.
"The anomaly is moving!" Jimmy shouted. "It's headed for the roof! Wait... it's shrinking? No, the density is increasing! Architect, what are you doing?"
"I am containing the breach," Mim said, her eyes locked on the drone feed.
She watched as Fluffy, now a blur of orange light, scrambled into the air duct. The drones followed, their cloaking fields humming. Mim's fingers flew across her keyboard, balancing the power output of the Genius Coalition's sensors, the mall's security grid, and her own capture-net.
It was the ultimate cover-up. She was the hero, the villain, and the janitor all at once. She was protecting the world from a threat she had created, while her peers argued over whose math was more impressive.
"Almost there," Mim muttered, her neon eyes reflecting the scrolling green code of the capture-sequence. "Just a few more feet, Fluffy. Just a few more feet and we can go home."
But just as the drones moved in for the final stasis-lock, a new window popped up on her HUD.
NEW ALERT: Localized Kimmunicator Signal Detected. Distance: 50 feet. Source: Kim Possible.
Mim's blood turned to ice. "H.E.L.E.N.... why is my sister at the mall at 4:15 in the morning?"
"Scanning... It appears Mr. Stoppable had a 'Naco-Emergency' and convinced your sister that the purple clouds were a 'sign' that they needed to visit the mall's 24-hour snack-kiosk."
Mim closed her eyes. "Of course. Ron. It's always Ron."
She had ten seconds to catch a reality-warping hamster, maintain her status as the "Architect" of the world's smartest boys, and ensure her super-spy sister didn't see a fleet of invisible drones tackling a glowing rodent in the air vents.
"H.E.L.E.N.," Mim said, her voice a flat line of pure determination. "Maximum stealth. Execute the 'Nacho-Distraction' protocol. Now."