Morning light crept into my room like it was afraid of disturbing me.
I lay still, staring at the ceiling, phone resting on my chest. The call from last night replayed in my head — his voice, the pause before he said yes, the softness when he asked how I was.
I pressed the phone tighter against my heart.
Why did three letters from him feel heavier than entire conversations with others?
Yes.
Not I love you too.
Not I don't.
Just—
Yes.
What did that even mean?
I rolled over and unlocked my phone.
No new messages.
Of course not. It had only been six hours.
Still… I checked again.
Nothing.
I told myself to stop being ridiculous. Normal people don't wake up expecting texts. Normal people brush their teeth first. Normal people don't stare at a chat screen like it's a doorway to another universe.
I sighed and dragged myself out of bed.
College — 11:40 AM
Lectures blurred together like smudged ink.
Equations. Voices. Pages turning. Chairs scraping.
None of it stuck.
My mind kept drifting back to him — his tone, his pauses, the way he sometimes typed hmm when he was thinking. I'd memorized his texting habits like they were a language.
I wondered what he was doing right now.
Was he laughing?
Talking to someone?
Talking to her?
My stomach twisted again.
I clenched my pen harder.
Stop it, I told myself. You don't own him.
Still, jealousy has a cruel way of blooming even in soil where it shouldn't.
12:07 PM — Buzz
My phone vibrated inside my bag.
My heart slammed against my ribs so hard it almost hurt.
I didn't check it immediately. I couldn't. If it wasn't him, disappointment would swallow me whole.
Buzz again.
I slowly reached into my bag… pulled out my phone… unlocked it…
Felix:
You in class?
My breath caught.
He texted first.
He. Texted. First.
My lips parted in disbelief before a smile slowly spread across my face.
I typed back:
Me:
Yeah.
Three dots appeared instantly.
Gone.
Appeared again.
Gone.
He was typing.
Stopping.
Typing again.
My pulse quickened.
Felix:
Pay attention then.
I blinked.
That was it?
I stared at the message, confused… then laughed quietly under my breath.
Only he could text something so simple and still make my heart flutter like a stupid butterfly.
Me:
You texted me first though.
Seen.
No reply.
Five seconds.
Ten seconds.
Thirty.
I bit my lip.
Then—
Felix:
Yeah.
That single word warmed me more than paragraphs ever could.
Later That Night
Rain tapped softly against my dorm window.
I sat cross-legged on my bed, laptop open, notes untouched, music playing quietly through one earbud. The room smelled faintly of vanilla from the candle on my desk.
I was waiting.
Not intentionally.
Not officially.
But I was.
Waiting for his message like the night was waiting for dawn.
Buzz.
I grabbed my phone so fast it nearly slipped.
Felix:
You busy?
My heartbeat stumbled.
Me:
For you? Never.
I froze.
Why did I send that.
WHY DID I SEND THAT.
I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my face in my pillow.
Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.
The phone buzzed again.
I peeked.
Felix:
Smooth.
My entire face burned.
Was he teasing?
Flirting?
Laughing?
I couldn't tell.
And that uncertainty… that space between what he said and what he meant… that was where my feelings lived.