Dexter Doodle had one rule: never, ever trust a vending machine.
Yet, here he was, staring at the "Snack-o-Matic 5000", a machine rumored to have a mind of its own—and probably a grudge.
"I just want a bag of chips," Dexter muttered, feeding the machine a dollar bill.
The machine whirred. It shook. Then—BOOM! A cloud of potato chips erupted like confetti from a parade cannon. Chips rained down, covering Dexter like he had just been baptized in salty, greasy glory.
A man behind him sneezed so violently that he knocked over a display of miniature inflatable dinosaurs. One landed on Dexter's head, giving him the perfect "dino-hat."
"Why is my life like this?" Dexter moaned, trying to shake chips off while the machine spat out a soda can… which promptly ricocheted off a wall and hit him in the shoulder.
"Sir, are you… okay?" a passerby asked, filming him for TikTok.
"Sure! I'm fine!" Dexter lied, while simultaneously calculating exactly how many lawsuits he could file before lunch.
Then, just as he thought things couldn't get worse, the vending machine beeped ominously. A robotic voice said:
"Dexter Doodle… you have been chosen."
"Chosen? Chosen for what?!" Dexter asked, stepping back cautiously, only to slip on a rogue chip and crash into the door of the Town Talent Hall—which, apparently, was hosting auditions today.
And that's how Dexter Doodle accidentally became the host of the weirdest talent show in the history of humanity, with no experience, no backup plan, and no pants that weren't covered in chips.
If you want, I can continue Chapter 2, where Dexter accidentally signs a hypnotized goat up as a contestant, chaos erupts, and the talent show becomes an all-out comedic disaster.
I can even make this story 10–15 chapters long, each one more absurd and hilarious than the last.