Early morning light trickles through the alleyway as I turn off from the market. The tavern wasn't open this early, and so I stood outside the side door, my cloak wrapped tightly around my skin to fight off the morning chill.
A small slat opens, two beady brown eyes glaring at me before it's slammed shut and the door unlocked. I push it open, stepping into a half-empty kitchen, morning workers beginning to start setting up as I step in, nodding a thanks to Bruce, despite his irritated expression. I walk through the kitchen, the smell of spices already beginning to permeate the air, through the main part of the tavern. Despite my feelings towards the guild, the tavern brings me a sort of comfort that my own bedroom has never managed.
The chairs are made for comfort, with the finest oak that Lotus could find, a large stone fireplace in the center that never chills, and a bar full of the finest drinks in this kingdom. It's no place for a commoner like me, not if I didn't hold the position I do. I approach the fireplace, pushing at the stone in the corner until it shifts with a click, and the fireplace shifts with a small groan, revealing a set of stairs beneath it. I hurriedly take them, the darkness enveloping me as the fireplace shifts back, sealing me inside. Down here is where the true debauchery begins.
Unlike the quiet of upstairs, voices ring loud down here. Somehow, the sound never escapes the guild; music playing in the corner of the stone floor, lush velvet carpets strewn about and guild members laughing, playing cards, or studying old documents. I try not to stare as I pass the documents littered about the table. It's only safe to know what I need to know, but gods if I didn't want to know it all. I pass the hall where the courtesans sleep, most of them only now returning from a night of work.
My eyes search for Wolfe, but he's either in his bedchambers or at work still and I don't want to disturb him. Deflated, I continue until I stop before an office, knocking three times and stepping away in case the door swings open.
Lotus opens it and despite the early morning, she looks no less than perfect. Her cunning, sharp blue eyes scan my face with scrutiny that makes me shift my feet. I don't know how old she is, her face has very few wrinkles but the silver streaks in her sable hair would have me guessing that she was nearing her fifties. She smells of citrus perfume and cigarette smoke and it's all the self-control I have not to gag. "Briar." She gives me a saccharine smile and moves aside to let me in her office. The door closes behind me and I stand stiffly as she moves behind her large oak desk, folding her hands in front of her. I don't dare sit, nor do I dare make eye contact, so instead, I stare at the map of our kingdom behind her head.
"Madam," I bow, focusing my eyes back on the map. "The rebels jailed aren't of the guild. They bore no distinct marking and are set to be executed after the final interrogations are completed. There's also a banquet happening this coming—"
"I am aware of the banquet, pet." My eyes drop to hers and she narrows them. I swallow uncomfortably. "Do you have anything useful for me, or is this position not worth your debt?"
"I believe foreign dignitaries from the kingdom of—"
"What use is it having people inside the kingdom walls if they tell me what I already know? Did I, or did I not tell you to become useful to the royals?"
"Madam, I am only a kitchen—
"You are not only anything, Briar Foley, you are mine!" She stands and I flinch. "You came to me half-starved and promised to be useful for shelter. You said you had snuck into the palace as a mere child and touched the lake, so when I agreed to make you mine, I thought that meant you were going to do anything other than take up space!" I square my shoulders, but my eyes drop to the floor.
"You know what happens if you cry."
"Yes, Madam." My eyes sting, but it's of anger, not sadness. I won't let them fall.
"You haven't always been useless, pet. You used to bring me the most intriguing items." She taps her fingers on the desk. I know, I want to say. But I didn't know the risks. "Perhaps you need to return as a courtesan."
"No!" I blurt. Her eyes narrow and her lips pull into a smile that makes my spine stiffen. Shit.
"You were quite good at it. But you begged for a new position and here you are, with nothing to offer and more debt to pay off."
"Things have just been quiet lately, Madam—"
"Things are never quiet at the palace; you simply aren't listening." She slams her hand down on the desk and I know her patience is gone. "I grow bored of you, Briar."
"I will reenter the Lake!" I rush to say, my fragmented dream stirring in my mind. "I can bring you those unique items again." I fold my hands behind me to quell their shaking. She gets off on weakness, on exploiting people beneath her.
"Information and items from the Lake. That is what I can offer if I can keep my position." At this, she smiles, and it sends shivers down my spine.
"This is what you should have offered years ago." I wait to be dismissed but she continues to watch me. "You will introduce yourself to a Royal member. I don't care which one. Get close to them." I try not to crumble beneath her gaze. "Tell them you can enter the Lake. Then you'll be of use to everyone."
That's a death sentence, I almost say. The Lake is forbidden. I would have been breaking a Royal Decree.
But I don't know what else to say to her and I'm too proud to beg again.
So, I bow and she dismisses me.
*
*
*
Before my mother died, I remember dreaming of going to the Lake with girlish wishes and now that I have, I think it's a nightmare of my own making. It was a secret I never should have given the Madam, but I thought she was different back then, a stand-in for a mother I lost. It was stupid to think so. It was naive of me to even think I could replace my mother and if I could turn back time, I think I would have been better off starving to death next to her corpse.
I can feel Gladius glaring at me and instinctively I scrub the pot harder, trying to clean the potato peels that have ingrained themselves to the iron. I need to work faster before she turns her fury on me but I just feel like every step I take is another that draws me to that godsdamned Lake.
"Oi! Briar!" Godsdamnit.
"Yes ma'am? I pause my scrubbing and she throws her hands on her scrawny waist, glaring at me as if I were the one who interrupted her.
"You plan on livin' there?"
"No ma'am."
"Then hurry the hell up!"
Godsdamn bitch, I think, scrubbing faster. I need to leave this place, but I can't leave Wolfe behind, and the reach of Madam Lotus has far exceeded what I can fathom. Hell, she probably has reached to the Royals themselves but wants to exact control over me by putting me in this position. I give up on the pot, throwing it on the drying rack and twisting to grab another dish when Gladius slaps my hand away.
"Get out. Too slow, go clean the dining hall."
I bite my tongue until I taste blood.
"Yes ma'am."