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Logs (Original Poster)
Replied On Dec 2nd 2010:
What the hell did you people turn my thread into?!
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(A few minutes later)
Well, that shitposting session on PHO wasted just enough of my time, the wiki download completed just as I left the site.
On my cogitator's screen was a scrolling text-scape of pure, unfiltered data from a million different sources. Quarterly reports from major industry leaders, gathered news reports from major media outlets, and anecdotal testimonies from social media. My Logis Acceleritas was working on overdrive to process all this data- collating it all to form a snapshot of the local economic geography, socio-economic factors and political landscape.
So… much… data…
My head was audibly pulsing in my ears… And the world was beginning to spin and slow around me even as the numbers continued.
Heed: Logis Acceleritas at 90% maxload !
Heed: Probability of permanent damage to [Cranial Implants] at 13.333% !
"I-invoke 65th Rite of Sacred Failshafesh by zhe O-Omnishiah…" I slurred out as I tore my gaze away from the Cogitator and I gripped my increasingly pained head between my metal hands.
Invoking the Rite of Sacred Failsafes, Verse 65…
Logis Acceleritas precepted to 75% maxload
Heed: Probability of permanent damage to [Cranial Implants] at 0.000%
"Close one…" I murmured to myself as the pain receded. "I'll have to upgrade my [Cranial Implants] soon…"
Because at the end of the day, I was an Augmentics Magos, not a Logis Magos. I specialised in bionics, not statistics. So, I did not have the nigh precognitive ability to foretell future events using the power of statistics. At least, not until I upgrade my [Cranial Implants]. But even with my amateurish statistical analysis (by Warhammer 40k standards) that I risked brain damage for… the writing was already on the wall, so to speak.
Protracted civil unrest caused by Endbringers and Parahumans has caused Earth-Bet to have stunted economic innovations.
Several predatory business practices from the 21st century are viable to exploit Earth-Bet for immense profit.
Profit leads to Capital leads to Raw Materials leads to Gynoid Waifus.
Earth-Bet was already in a bad spot, do I really want to push it closer to the edge? Human morality was for humans, but I still can't help but feel disgusted with what I was considering doing. However, the prospect of obtaining massive amounts of money without breaking the law was a terribly attractive one. It will go a long way towards advancing my ultimate goal of gynoid tang after all. Having the capital to acquire all the raw materials that I need…
I sighed.
"Very well." I whispered in capitulation. "For the cause of gynoid waifus, may the Machine-God forgive me for the evil that I am about to unleash upon this already doomed world."
And so, I began weaving binary on my cogitator- forming the malevolent entity that will soon encompass the entire world of Earth-Bet… all for the promise of profit.
(72 Hours Later) [Hideout of 'The Undersiders']
Jean-Paul Vasil, or 'Alec' as he preferred to be called, was enjoying life.
He had the flat all to himself as everyone was off doing their own thing. Their 'unofficial-but-everyone-kinda-knows-it-by-now' team leader, Tattletale, was off being painfully smug somewhere. Grue, or 'Ole-tall-dark-and-edgy', was busy wrangling his brat of a sister. And Bitch 'I-like-dogs-a-bit-too-much' was off doing Bitch things. And it left him to enjoy some quality time the best way he knew how: alone.
The late morning sun was shining outside. He had spent the last hour hogging up all the hot water in his bath- rendering his fair skin and curly-brown hair all silky soft. He had a comfy couch to lay on with two freshly-delivered pizzas resting in front of him. And the cherry on top, the latest and hottest mobile game just finished downloading onto his tablet.
Call 4 Duty
It had been released just the other day, but everyone was already talking about it. A flashy and enjoyable shoot-em-up game for up to four person co-op about shooting zombies. The graphics were amazing (if you can run it). The Special undead with their unique abilities really gave the game depth. The In-game characters and the many guns were customisable with a lot of cosmetics that you randomly get at the end of each level. And craziest of all, it was completely free!
There was something inherently satisfying about shooting zombies. All the visceral action of killing someone without the ingrained guilt attached… and before he knew it, four hours had passed, all the pizza was now in his belly, his character was now a Lvl 3 Corporal, and his starter gun was now looking pleasingly tacti-cool with its foregrip, red dot sights and side-fold buttstock.
Then just as the level ended and he was about to open the prize chest, a congratulatory message popped up.
C4D =
Congratulations on your promotion, Corporal Jean16!
Your stellar zombie-killing prowess is an inspiration to us all. Your rank now allows you the privilege of the Loot Box. An additional prize chest that may hold fabulous rewards including one guaranteed to be at least Uncommon! These can be opened using Keys that can be assembled using key fragments that will now spawn in your matches. You also have the option to purchase them directly.
Would you like to purchase a ring of 3 keys for only $2.99?
YES! = / no
C4D =
"I can potentially quadruple my loot for just $2.99?" Alec murmured in disbelief before nodding in understanding, "Ah, that's clever. So that's why the game is free. I can see the tactic, but I'm too smart for that. The developer must be insane or altruistic or both, because I don't think this business model is going to be profitable at all… But sure, I'll spend the 2.99 bucks to help him out. That's me: the sparkling example of generosity."
He tapped the 'Yes' button to spend an inconsequential three dollars. And immediately as he did, his eyes flew wide as his Loot Box began shaking violently before flying wide open in an amazing lightshow of colours, the music reached a graceful crescendo and items flew out of the Loot Box before landing with a tablet-shaking thud front and centre of the screen. His heart rate quickened as he spotted the items he had earned.