Why establish Fire Country Telecom? First and foremost, because the low-orbit communication satellite network was nearing completion.
By the time the New Year of Year 41 arrived, the low-altitude satellite grid was fully operational. Through satellite relay, Snail Phones could finally support clear voice calls across distances of up to four thousand kilometers.
Users of the Snail Phones would need to upgrade to a newer model. Not only did these new snails boast vastly superior range, but they also featured point-to-point dialing for individual calls. Naturally, Tetsumaru planned to set the price just a tiny bit high.
The second reason was simple: Tetsumaru and his clones needed money. Lots and lots of money.
There was a massive gap between Tetsumaru's Broodmothers and the Zerg Hives of legend. The biggest difference was that his Hives lacked innate research capabilities. Every new insect strain required Tetsumaru to build a laboratory from scratch—experimenting, modulating, and verifying step-by-step—before finally finding a way to hard-code the data into the Broodmother's production system.
The resources consumed by these experiments were staggering. Tetsumaru had long ago realized that "money is merely the lubricant of governance," which was precisely why he had created the Mining Swarm to secure bulk resources independently.
However, since he had essentially established a breakaway domain in the Land of Tea and maintained a cold indifference toward Konoha, the village had retaliated by quietly throttling his commercial channels. His traditional supply lines for purchasing materials were effectively severed.
Currently, his Broodmothers possessed incredible production capacity for certain goods—food, oil, and sugar yields were off the charts, and his output of metals like copper, iron, lead, and tin was more than sufficient.
But for more specialized materials—glassware, laboratory equipment, chemical reagents, and high-end consumables—Tetsumaru was at a loss. While he could technically manufacture any of them, the time cost of setting up production lines for thousands of different items was something he simply couldn't afford.
Up until now, his research had been sustained by the "leeks" he had harvested from Root's stockpiles. He couldn't keep that up forever; he had to turn to the black market.
The problem was that Tetsumaru's primary exports were bulk commodities. Bulk goods relied on high-volume, low-margin sales—a model that was fundamentally incompatible with the black market's pursuit of maximum profit margins.
The black market dealt in high-value-density goods: specialized test tubes for a thousand Ryo each, rare animals worth tens of thousands, jewels worth a hundred thousand, and heads worth millions.
He had learned that money was the lubricant of the machine, but he was now learning that a machine without lubricant was a nightmare to run.
Tetsumaru needed a fortune to establish a broad network of contacts within the black market. Only then could he commission the labor-intensive equipment and reagents he required.
As the Shadow Clones put it: "Compared to our projected consumption, fleecing Root isn't enough anymore. We need to fleecing the entire Shinobi World through Telecom."
What could Tetsumaru do but agree? After all, "harvesting leeks" was a truly intoxicating feeling.
Once the preparations for the big harvest were ready, Tetsumaru submitted a report to the Hokage's office. It detailed the events at Awaji Village, noting that he had neutralized a Mist rogue responsible for a civilian massacre and secured the Executioner's Blade, one of the Seven Ninja Swords of the Mist.
The report concluded with a request for permission to return to the village with the rogue's head and the blade, allowing the Intelligence Division to extract info while the Hokage decided the fate of the sword.
Seeing that Tetsumaru was being "well-behaved," the Hokage approved the request and granted him leave to return to Konoha.
"Cheers!"
Tetsumaru, Inuzuka Takeshi, Nara Mao, Akimichi Daidou, Yamanaka Ame, and Uchiha Fueka raised their glasses in a rowdy toast before diving into a spread of delicacies.
After three rounds of drinks and five courses of food, the former classmates began to catch up, sharing stories of their progress and growth.
The Ino-Shika-Cho trio was developing steadily as a specialized combat unit. Consequently, the resolute and decisive Yamanaka Ame had officially taken the lead of the team.
Uchiha Fueka had returned to a post in the Konoha Military Police Force. Currently serving as a squad leader, he spent his days dealing with trivial, mind-numbing disputes. He was clearly dissatisfied with his lot in life, spending the evening grumbling into his cup.
"What about Hyuga Tokuma? He didn't come today?" Tetsumaru asked curiously.
The others exchanged a look before Nara Mao answered. "Tokuma hasn't been in touch with us for a while. He's likely been assigned as a personal guard to Hiashi Hyuga. We don't know the specifics."
"I see. For a member of the Branch House, that's a prestigious position."
"True."
The conversation eventually turned to Inuzuka Takeshi and his newborn son. The moment the topic was raised, the alcohol-fueled Takeshi's eyes lit up. He began to ramble incessantly, ignoring the dangerous glints in the eyes of his five single friends.
"You guys have no idea," Takeshi complained. "The kid was so ugly when he was born, I almost threw him out the window the first time I saw him."
The five single dogs: (＊￣︿￣)
Takeshi played the martyr: "You have no idea how hard he is to take care of. He wakes up multiple times a night. I haven't slept in weeks."
The five single dogs: o(＃￣︿￣)o
Takeshi bragged: "But you have no idea how cute he is now..."
The five single dogs: "Get him!"
Stung by the looming threat of "marriage nagging" waiting for them at home, the five friends channeled their frustration into their fists. They gave Takeshi a "warm" thrashing before dragging him home and taking turns smothering the little Inuzuka with kisses before scattering into the night.
Before they parted, Tetsumaru took back their old snails and handed each of them a new model.
To his surprise, the very next day, they all came back demanding their old snails. The reason? The new models didn't support group chats, which was unacceptable to them.
Hearing their feedback, Tetsumaru had a sudden realization. Crap. I got it backward.
In his previous life, technology had evolved from one-on-one telephones to group chat tools. But here, the Snail Phones had started with open, public channels. For a paid service, the main selling points should have been privacy and long-distance capability.
Luckily, he had used his friends as beta testers. If a marketing campaign misses the customer's pain point, even the best product is doomed to fail.
Tetsumaru set the price for the new snails at a staggering 300,000 Ryo. It was a heart-stopping figure. Anyone who asked was instantly startled and beat a hasty retreat.
Tetsumaru remained unbothered. He didn't open a shop or run ads. He simply relied on word-of-mouth from the friends and family he'd gifted them to, while he spent his days leisurely accompanying his mother on shopping trips.
Slowly, even the people asking about the price dwindled. His perceptive mother even questioned him a few times, but he managed to bluff his way through.
Two weeks later, a masked ANBU operative suddenly intercepted him. "Aburame Tetsumaru. Lord Hokage wishes to see you. Come with me immediately."
"Can't it wait a moment?" Tetsumaru asked, annoyed. "Just let me walk my mother home."
The operative remained silent, standing like a stone wall and staring fixedly at Tetsumaru, completely ignoring the heavily pregnant Aburame Aiko at his side.
So cold and indifferent... this must be Danzo's Root. That dog's nose is definitely sharper than the Hokage's.
As the atmosphere grew tense and passersby began to clear the area, Aiko stepped in to smooth things over. "It's alright, Tetsumaru. I can make it back on my own. Go see the Hokage."
Tetsumaru took a deep, frustrated breath and nodded. He gave her a few more careful instructions before following the masked ninja.
Aiko watched her eldest son disappear over a wall, sighed, and placed a hand on her lower back to resume her walk. She hadn't gone more than a few steps when a large pair of hands supported her elbow and waist. Aiko turned in shock to see Tetsumaru standing right there.
"Eh? You... you just left..."
"Don't worry, Mother. That was a Shadow Clone. You know how much I like that jutsu."
"Oh... oh, right. Wow, your hands are so warm. Shadow Clones are amazing."
Pregnancy brain is real, Tetsumaru mused as he carefully guided his mother home.
Meanwhile, in a secret underground chamber in the Root base, "Tetsumaru" sat calmly on an iron stool welded to the floor.
"Is anyone in charge here?" he asked impatiently. "I've been waiting forever. Is this how Root does business?"
In the corner of the room, two Root ninjas in intricate masks stood motionless, ignoring his shouts entirely.
"I'm giving you exactly one more minute," Tetsumaru barked. "Otherwise, the deal's off."
"What an insolent brat," Danzo Shimura muttered, watching the interrogation room through a surveillance jutsu. "Let him wait. Don't give him water. Don't give him food. Let him starve for a few days until his head clears."
"Three... two... one. Bye-bye."
Poof!
Tetsumaru vanished in a cloud of white smoke.
"A Shadow Clone?"
"How is that possible?"
"Dammit! That shameless brat is definitely going to Sarutobi to tattle!"
The Root chamber descended into chaos. Danzo scrambled toward the Hokage building, but he was a step too late. He arrived just in time to see Tetsumaru, using his Jonin status, waltz directly into the Hokage's office. Danzo's blood pressure spiked.
"Lord Hokage! You have to help me! Lord Shimura is being completely unreasonable!"
"It was horrible! Not even a drop of water!"
"And don't even get me started on the food!"
"The tragedy! What crime have I committed to suffer such torture?"
The 214-cm-tall Tetsumaru was crouched on the floor, his arms barely able to reach the shoulders of the 165-cm Hiruzen Sarutobi. He was holding four cicada-like insects that were playing these four lines of wailing complaints on a loop.
Several ninja in the office were turning red, desperately trying not to burst into laughter. When they saw Danzo enter, they practically fled the room to avoid offending Konoha's number-two power.
Danzo entered with a sharp bark: "Aburame Tetsumaru! You are out of line!"
"Huh?" Tetsumaru turned his head, spared him a glance, and then went right back to ignoring him.
"You!" Danzo's rage flared. "You were sent to see me, yet you dared to send a Shadow Clone? Insolence! Hiruzen, he must be punished!"
Tetsumaru pulled out another cicada and clicked it. The sounds of a noisy street filled the room, followed by the recorded command: "Aburame Tetsumaru. Lord Hokage wishes to see you. Come with me immediately."
Hiruzen's face darkened instantly. That damn Danzo is using my name to pull his 'recruitment' stunts again. More importantly, he failed and got caught on tape. Does my reputation as Hokage mean nothing to him?
I need to reel him in. Root needs a leash.
Hiruzen offered a pleasant, mediating smile. "Now, now. Danzo, what exactly did you need from the Aburame Jonin?"
Danzo took several deep breaths before answering. "I wish to purchase a batch of the new Snail Phones."
"That will be 300,000 Ryo per unit. How many do you require? I can offer a two-percent discount for orders over a hundred, 'dear customer'." Tetsumaru pulled out a third cicada and played a pre-recorded ad. The voice belonged to his cousin, a clan member so unremarkable Tetsumaru could never remember his name.
"That is exorbitant! I will not allow Konoha's funds to be bled dry by your greed!"
Tetsumaru & Hiruzen: "..."
"Take it or leave it," Tetsumaru said, speaking for himself this time. He adopted the arrogant posture of a true monopoly tycoon. "Don't want 'em? Walk away."
The Hokage quickly cut in. "Aburame-san..."
"Yes, Lord Hokage?"
"Could you offer a small discount? The war only ended a year ago; the village's finances are tight."
"Of course, Lord Hokage." Tetsumaru pulled two sheets of paper from his pocket and handed them over.
Hiruzen scanned them. There were two purchase options. The first was a "one-time preferred purchase" at 220,000 Ryo per snail, including unlimited use. The second was an "ultra-preferred plan": the snails were provided for free, but required a monthly pre-payment of 1,000 Ryo per snail, with additional charges based on the duration and frequency of calls. There was a time limit; go over it, and the price spiked.
Hiruzen hissed through his teeth at the first price, but the second one looked much better.
Wait... why do I feel a sudden chill? This text feels like a cold wind blowing through my very marrow.
The Hokage passed the sheets to Danzo. Danzo's eyebrows shot up at the first page, but he calmed down after seeing the second. He set them down and said coldly, "Still too expensive."
"Oh." Tetsumaru stood up immediately. "Then there's nothing more to discuss."
He bowed to the Hokage. "Sorry for the trouble, Lord Hokage. I'll take my leave."
With two long strides, he was out of the office.
"Hmph! To ignore me like that... what an insolent brat. Hiruzen, you've spoiled him." Danzo stood up and swept out as well, though he made sure to take the price list with him.
Hiruzen sighed and pulled a third sheet from his desk. This one was titled: Hokage Exclusive Special Rate: 100,000 Ryo per unit.
That evening, a Root ninja in a patterned mask visited Tetsumaru. He purchased six hundred Snail Phones under the second option, paying three months' worth of fees upfront.
They agreed on a settlement every three months, with a maximum grace period of six months.
Payment could be made in cash or equivalent materials. If Tetsumaru specified the materials, there was a 50% premium; for certain rare items, the premium was 100%.
The Root ninja left a small box and departed with two large crates and a contract.
Tetsumaru turned and entered his bedroom. A massive trunk was spread open on his bed. Half of it was stuffed with stacks of cash; the other half was filled with various jars, tubes, and containers.
This was the price the Hokage had paid for the ANBU's new Snail Phones. A flat-fee transaction, much cleaner than Root's. It was a bit of a shame he couldn't keep "harvesting" the Hokage.
Ah... being the sole communication provider truly is the life.