A club that's just been founded has no connections, so it's hard to recruit new members, right? On top of that, considering your physical condition, having a few assistants to lend a hand might make things easier."
"…Is this also one of your ways of trying to get on good terms with me, senpai? Or is it just my sister giving you an assignment?"
A sharp intuition—unfortunately, it still left Narumi some room to wriggle out with sophistry.
"Because I'm bored."
"That explanation is even worse than the other two."
"But it's the truth. I can't very well say it's because I have inappropriate thoughts about you, Yukino, a minor high school girl, can I?"
"Put that way, I suppose that possibility can't be completely ruled out."
"So in your eyes my image is really that terrible, huh~"
The light, easy banter made the brows of Yukinoshita Yukino—who had been wearing a stiff expression all along—relax just a little, and the corners of her mouth occasionally lifted faintly in response to the young man's jabs—perhaps without her even realizing it herself.
"Since my sister doesn't mind, and you've got nothing better to do anyway, senpai, then as you wish—become my assistant."
The girl stood up from the edge of the bed and lifted her chin, gazing out at the deep blue sky beyond the window.
"Or should I say… Mr. Camera, sent by my sister to be installed at my side?"
"Today I seem to be getting objectified a bit too often. Even I would get hurt by that, you know."
The curly-haired young man spoke dejected words, but in truth he merely shook his head noncommittally.
"…Sorry. That was rather rude of me."
Yukinoshita Yukino fell silent for a moment, likely realizing herself that her aggressive tone had gone a bit too far.
"After resting a few days, I'll return to school. When that happens, please come meet me at the Service Club, senpai."
"Don't you think I should be given some of the authority that an assistant is supposed to have?"
"Oh?"
Yukinoshita Yukino turned her head with some curiosity, finally meeting his gaze.
"It's not impossible, but… what exactly do you mean by that, senpai?"
———
———
—The day Yukinoshita Yukino returned to school.
She stood before the club recruitment notice board on the first-floor hallway of the school building, her expression more complicated than ever before.
[This club has no interest in ordinary humans. If among you there are aliens, time travelers from the future, people from another world, espers, or anyone facing problems that are difficult to resolve, feel free to come to us!
—Sincerely, Service Club President Yukinoshita Yukino!]
"..."
"Wow, so that Yukinoshita Yukino actually talks like a chūnibyō too?"
"You really can't judge a book by its cover. These days, the 'iceberg beauty who's secretly an otaku' setting is pretty popular."
"I never would've guessed… I'm joining right now!"
Under the hushed murmurs of passing classmates who had stopped to gawk, she silently tore down the notice.
Then she set off straight toward the Service Club room and shoved the door open in one go.
"The most abnormal person here, and the one who most needs to be expelled, is you, senpai!"
Yukinoshita Yukino declared this judgment at the curly-haired young man who was lounging at the desk, leisurely savoring a cup of black tea.
Thank goodness this is only a simulation, she chanted inwardly no fewer than three times—otherwise, a full-blown social death would've been inevitable.
"Oh my, I put so much thought into coming up with such eye-catching copy for you, and to receive such high praise—this really makes my day."
A rather pleased smile spread across the young man's face as he pointed to the spotless room around him.
"I also cleaned the clubroom nice and thoroughly for you, Yukino. No need to thank me, no need at all."
"I had no intention of thanking you."
Yukinoshita Yukino snapped back to her senses and finally realized she'd been completely CPU'd—played like a processor.
"A rude club president won't leave a good impression on newcomers, you know~ Yukino."
Narumi pursed his lips and gestured with his eyes. Only then did Yukino, still simmering, notice—
Sitting stiffly upright across from him was a cowlicked, dead-fish-eyed boy, wearing an awkward expression as he stared straight at her in mild surprise.
Perhaps being stared at by a pair of dead fish eyes was inherently uncomfortable; realizing her lapse, Yukinoshita Yukino gave a small cough, nodded lightly to the cowlicked boy as she stepped inside, and spoke.
"…My apologies. I'm Yukinoshita Yukino, president of the Service Club. And you are…?"
"…Hikigaya Hachiman."
The dead-fish-eyed boy averted his gaze as he answered, fidgeting somewhat stiffly with his fingers under the desk, clearly unable to meet the president's eyes.
"I'm really sorry, but I'm neither an alien nor an esper—just an innocent, ordinary high school boy who got dragged here by a teacher."
"The 'ordinary' part is still up for debate."
Off to the side, Narumi raised a finger with mock seriousness to add that comment, which made a few veins pop unconsciously on Miss Yukinoshita Yukino's forehead.
"As an assistant, being too flippant and stealing the spotlight will get you fired, senpai."
"Yeah, figures—this guy's definitely not a high schooler. He reeks head to toe of that sly, worldly, fox-like salaryman stench…"
Hikigaya Hachiman's muttering drifted into both of their ears.
"On that point, I completely agree with you, Hikigaya-kun."
And thus earned the approval of the Service Club president.
"Oh? You two are already united against a common enemy? How wonderful! But I'm not a working adult—I'm just a perfectly ordinary, easy-to-find college student."
Narumi Tōru's cheerful reply, however, inevitably made Hikigaya Hachiman grow a bit more guarded. The feeling that everything unfolding right now was firmly under the other man's control did nothing to help him relax.
"Then my question is… why is there a college student hanging around in a high school club?"
So he voiced that question, somewhat awkwardly.
"Oh, that? It's because I'm Yukinoshita's ex-boyfriend."
Narumi answered quite naturally and sincerely—despite the fact that this response made the black-haired girl beside him, who had just sat down, tremble slightly as she picked up a tea bag.
"…Huh?"
This time, it was Hikigaya Hachiman who was completely at a loss.