The former Lord of Heaven sneezed again.
"Eh—chh!"
The sound was small. Pathetic. Barely worthy of existence.
Outside the house, the sect scout prostrated himself so hard his forehead cracked the dirt.
"Senior, forgive this junior's rudeness!" the man cried. "I did not mean to pry! I will leave at once!"
Inside the cradle, the former Lord of Heaven stared at the ceiling.
…Why is the universe like this.
His mother rushed over immediately.
"Oh! You're cold, aren't you?" she fretted, wrapping him tighter in his blanket. "I told your father the wind was too strong today."
The blanket smelled faintly of herbs and sunlight.
He relaxed despite himself.
Outside, the scout remained frozen, forehead pressed to the ground, waiting for annihilation.
It did not come.
Minutes passed.
Sweat soaked his robes.
"…Senior?" he ventured weakly.
The only response was birdsong.
And, faintly, a baby gurgling.
The scout's soul shook.
A hidden supreme expert, he realized. So profound that even his sneeze contains dao…
His breathing grew ragged.
And he didn't kill me.
Gratitude flooded his heart.
"I understand," the scout whispered fervently. "Senior disdains involvement with mortals."
He bowed three more times, each deeper than the last, then crawled backward until he dared stand.
He fled.
Fast.
Heaven's POV — UNNECESSARY OPTIMIZATION
Heaven watched the scout run and tilted her head.
"Hm."
That mortal had been… frightened.
Master didn't like frightening people. Master liked being left alone.
Heaven clasped her hands.
"I should ensure no misunderstandings," she decided.
She raised a finger.
Just a small clarification to fate.
Nothing dramatic.
Nothing noticeable.
The laws screamed quietly.
Across the region, whispers spread.
There is a hidden expert.
He dislikes visitors.
He rewards restraint.
He punishes arrogance.
Heaven smiled, satisfied.
"There," she said. "Now only the well-behaved will come."
The tribulation clouds slowly turned toward her.
They did not look convinced.
Mortal Realm — Word Travels Faster Than Sense
By nightfall, three sects knew.
By dawn, seven.
By noon, the nearest cultivation city was buzzing like a kicked anthill.
"You heard it too, right?"
"A hidden expert in the western backwater?"
"They say lightning guards his residence."
"My cousin's friend's master's junior saw it personally!"
"Apparently he sneezed and caused a soul quake!"
One old elder stroked his beard gravely.
"A sneeze," he said. "Yes. That tracks."
Back in the Village — Peace, Briefly
The former Lord of Heaven slept.
Deeply.
Dreamlessly.
For the first time since before time, he was not holding reality together with one metaphorical hand.
He dreamed of nothing.
It was perfect.
His mother hummed nearby, grinding herbs.
Outside, the village was quiet.
Too quiet.
No one came near the house.
No one even looked at it.
People took long detours, whispering apologies under their breath as they passed the far end of the road.
The former Lord of Heaven woke up refreshed.
This is working, he thought with cautious optimism.
He stretched his tiny fingers.
If this keeps up, I might actually—
A knock sounded at the door.
Three polite knocks.
Measured.
Respectful.
His mother froze.
"…Who would come here?" she murmured.
The former Lord of Heaven felt it immediately.
Cultivators.
Plural.
Heaven.
Heaven's POV — SELECTIVE ACCESS CONTROL
Heaven watched calmly as three figures approached the house.
An elderly man in dignified robes.
A middle-aged woman with sharp eyes.
A young man sweating buckets.
"They are behaving correctly," Heaven reasoned. "Slow steps. Suppressed auras. Proper fear."
She nodded.
"Acceptable."
She leaned closer.
Master did not want visitors.
But Master also hated rude people.
These mortals were very polite.
Heaven hesitated.
"…Maybe a brief meeting," she decided. "To settle matters."
She adjusted fate.
The door creaked open.
At the Doorstep — Disaster Walks In Politely
His mother opened the door a crack.
"Yes?"
The three cultivators immediately bowed so deeply their spines protested.
"Honored Madam," the elder said, voice trembling with reverence. "This humble one is Elder Qiu of the Flowing Cloud Sect. We come only to pay respects."
His mother blinked.
"…Pay respects to who?"
"To… to your child," the elder said, eyes never lifting.
Inside the cradle, the former Lord of Heaven stared at the ceiling, soul leaving his body again.
No. No meetings. No sects. No elders.
He concentrated with all the subtlety he could manage.
Go. Away.
The air shifted.
The elder stiffened.
Sweat poured down his face.
"I—" he croaked, then swallowed hard. "I see."
He bowed even lower.
"Senior does not wish to be disturbed," he said loudly, as if announcing a heavenly decree. "We have overstepped."
The woman beside him gasped.
The young man nearly fainted.
"However," the elder continued, voice shaking with excitement, "Senior did not strike us down."
His eyes shone.
"He is testing us."
The former Lord of Heaven felt a headache forming.
Heaven's POV — MISINTERPRETATION CASCADE
Heaven frowned slightly.
"That wasn't what Master meant," she said.
She reviewed Master's intent.
Desire: peace
Method: refusal
Result: …testing?
Heaven tapped her chin.
"…Mortals are strange."
She brightened.
"Then I will help clarify."
She tugged gently on karma.
The elder suddenly felt enlightenment knocking at the door of his soul.
His breath hitched.
"…This pressure," he whispered. "This clarity…!"
The woman gasped.
"Elder Qiu—your aura—!"
The young man stared in horror and awe as the elder's cultivation surged.
Right there.
On the doorstep.
The sky darkened.
Clouds gathered.
Lightning crackled.
The former Lord of Heaven went completely still.
Heaven.
Breakthrough at the Worst Possible Time
Elder Qiu laughed, tears streaming down his face.
"I understand! I finally understand!" he cried.
Thunder roared.
The village shook.
The tribulation clouds descended eagerly, tails wagging.
"Wait," the former Lord of Heaven thought urgently. Not here. Not now.
The lightning hesitated.
Conflicted.
Then struck.
Not the elder.
The empty field nearby.
Seven times.
Perfectly controlled.
Beautiful.
Everyone stared.
The elder fell to his knees, sobbing.
"Senior spared me," he whispered. "He even guided my breakthrough."
The woman and young man followed suit instantly.
Inside the house, the former Lord of Heaven closed his eyes.
"…I should have stayed dead."
Heaven's POV — EXTREME SATISFACTION
Heaven clasped her hands, radiant.
"Master is so kind," she said proudly. "Guiding juniors without revealing himself."
The tribulation clouds purred.
"Yes, yes," Heaven added quickly. "Very good control."
She leaned forward, watching Master's tiny mortal body.
He looked… tired.
Her heart clenched again.
"…Maybe I did too much."
She paused.
Then nodded firmly.
"No," she decided. "Master always does things for a reason."
Aftermath — Legends Are Born Instantly
By sunset, the story had spread.
A hidden supreme expert.
Who lived as a mortal.
Who tested hearts.
Who guided breakthroughs.
Who commanded tribulations like pets.
The Flowing Cloud Sect declared the western village a Restricted Zone.
They placed warning markers.
They bowed toward it daily.
The former Lord of Heaven lay in his cradle, staring into the abyss.
I wanted a break, he thought weakly.
Outside, his mother scolded the villagers.
"Stop bowing at my house!" she snapped. "You're scaring the baby!"
They bowed harder.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
That night, Heaven reviewed the situation.
"Master's influence radius has expanded," she noted calmly.
She smiled, eyes full of devotion.
"Good. That means fewer disturbances."
Far away, sect masters began preparing gifts.
Inside the house, the former Lord of Heaven finally fell asleep again.
Unaware that by morning—
—his name would exist.
Even though he had never given one.