"The city's crisis appears to be quite dangerous," Aqua said as we ate breakfast.
The crisis is dangerous?
Yeah? No fucking shit. What're you gonna tell me next, the secrets are hidden? Water is wet, maybe?
"What crisis?" I asked instead.
"The water quality is dropping. Well, more like 'becoming poisonous'," she answered.
"Seriously? That can't be good for the 'City of Water'," I returned, "What kind of poisonous?"
"Strangely, it seems to only be the hot springs, and only some of them. People are coming out feeling sick or with rashes. Some have even fainted," she said.
Just the hot springs?
"Sounds like sabotage to me. I could understand if the same were happening with the drinking water, but it's just the springs? That's incredibly unlikely," I considered.
Aqua nodded her head, "I was thinking something similar,"
"What can we do though? I mean, you could purify it, but if someone is poisoning it intentionally, they'll just do it again once you leave,"
She chuckled guiltily.
"I've actually already tried that. But then the Cultists got mad at me because it became pure water instead of just destroying the poison,"
I snickered.
She pouted.
"It's not my fault!" she claimed, "I turn every water based liquid into pure water just by touching it! Look!"
With that, she leant forward and dipped her left index finger into my coffee, where it immediately changed from the rich brown to completely transparent.
I blinked.
"I was going to drink that,"
"Eh? Er… Sorry Kazuma-san,"
I waved her off, "Don't worry about it. So how pure does it become? Is it like, distilled water?"
"Even purer," she said proudly, "It also become Holy Water, 'cos, y'know, I'm a goddess,"
It was then that the rest of the party, that being Megumin, Darkness, Yunyun, and Wiz, arrived at the dining hall, and we switched to a safer topic.
With breakfast finished, I decided to do some reading.
While I had familiarised myself with essential information early on, like that of monsters and men, I didn't have as much as I wanted.
So I went to the hotel's library, and took out a history book, where I began searching for information that had intrigued me for some time.
That is, the lowest value coin, at 1 Eris, was made of bronze.
While back on earth, it had a decently high value, being ranked after gold and silver, but nothing more. But in this world, it was ordered differently.
Platinum sat at the top, worth 100,000 Eris by itself, followed by gold, worth 10,000. Each coin was worth an order of magnitude lower than the one before it. After gold came silver, then copper, then a dull brass, and finally, bronze, worth only a single Eris.
Long ago the 1 Eris coins were made of a dull and dark iron, unrefined and barely smelted, in an age where the iron could not be forged into the weapons of today.
As such, bronze was the go-to weapon material, and it filled everyone's desires. Eventually, with the growth of the economy, the single Eris coin was phased out, nothing being worth a measly 1 Eris. It was much easier to split a 10 Eris copper coin down the middle than it was to carry five iron coins.
Then the Demon King army appeared.
The bronze weapons adventurers had favoured for centuries suddenly lost their worth as they discovered that they could not be refined and sharpened enough to cut through the thick armour of the Demon King army's monstrous minions.
Society panicked as their weapons suddenly became obsolete, every smith scrambling to find the material that would be the one to finally cut through the monsters' hide, as all the while, the Demon King army pillaged and plundered.
Village and cities alike were razed to the ground, hundreds of millions of Eris being lost with the people who owned them.
The economy was plummeting, and hope was diminishing, but then one blacksmith by the name of Hagane Steel made a discovery.
He had, out of frustration, tossed some old iron coins to his furnace, and with nothing better to do, he began to work them.
The problem with iron had always been its high melting point, making it incredibly hard to work, so it had been ignored for bronze, despite its significant strength.
As the coins heated, still far from melting, in his efforts to increase the coal in his furnace, Hagane tripped, and though no coal landed in the furnace, the interior was coated in the dust.
As he peered within the furnace at the now coal dust-covered coins, you can imagine his surprise when instead of being ruined, the coins began to melt.
You see, at around 1200 degrees Celsius, the temperature Hagane had managed to get his coins above, iron begins to absorb carbon, which is what coal is made of. He had made it past this threshold unknowingly, but he was still nearly 400 degrees from the melting point of iron, which is where the carbon absorption comes into play.
When carbon is absorbed into iron, the melting temperature drops significantly, below the absorption temperature, in fact.
Hagane marvelled at the melting iron, despite knowing his furnace wasn't hot enough to melt it, so he tried to recreate it. He gathered as many coins as he could find, a few dozen, and tossed them in.
Once more, he coated the coins in coal dust, and like before, they melted.
With the metal liquefied, Hagane could now work.
He produced a simple dagger, as that was the largest thing he could create with his limited resources.
He then tested it. He sharpened it, struck it, and pit it against a bronze counterpart directly. I resulted with a sharper, stronger and lighter weapon that could beat its bronze counterparts in every front.
He brought his discovery straight to the royal family. He displayed its strength, its workability, the forging process, everything, and in his name, the miracle metal Steel was discovered.
A complete recall was made of every iron coin that could be found, and smiths worldwide were taught how to create steel.
Bronze weapons were discarded in an instant for the stronger, sharper, lighter steel weapons, and humanity finally began to fight back against the Demon King army.
However, it had come too late. Countless lives were lost, and the economy was at the lowest it had been in centuries. The 10 Eris copper coins were of too high a value for small transactions, so the price of food skyrocketed and poverty increased with every village taken by the Demon King army.
The kingdoms realised this quickly, but with all the iron coins having been turned to weapons, they had no 1 Eris coins to redistribute, so instead, they took the discarded tools and smelted them down to make a brand new coin.
As such, the bronze 1 Eris coins was born, the face of Hagane Steel stamped onto each and every one, with Eris's face upon the other.
It served as a reminder, of sorts.
Take heed, enemies of mankind, it said. Man lived with luck on their side, and they would not be so easily defeated.
I had decided to take a bath in the hot spring before engaging in any of my other tasks.
I approached the mixed bath we had used the night before, but stopped when I heard speaking within.
"That damned cult will finally be destroyed," said a male voice with a vicious tone, "The poisoning of their secret hot spring is complete, and the progress with the more popular ones are proceeding smoothly. Now we just have to wait. It should only take a few decades, nothing too extreme,"
Looks like I found the culprit, and he was some kind of long-living species, as was whoever he was speaking to.
"Hans, would you stop reporting all this to me? You know I'm not involved. I'm only here for the hot springs' healing," replied a feminine voice to the newly named 'Hans'.
"Don't be like that Wolbach," he whined, "This is a great opportunity to destroy the cult, and you know we wouldn't be able to do it head on. I'll meet with you to report periodically, so you just stay in the hotel and enjoy the waters while you can,"
Hmm. Sounds as though they are both generals of the Demon King army. I'd better go in before they discover me loitering here.
And 'Wolbach'. That sounds familiar, but I don't know where from.
I quickly stripped and wrapped a towel around my waist before opening the door to the spring.
It startled both of them, but they did a good job hiding it.
A beautiful woman, Wolbach, sat in the water, little of her naked figure covered with a towel. Short, dark red hair, long pointed ears, glowing golden eyes, and a strange, gem-like protrusion on her forehead only managed to enhance her stunning face, and with a well-proportioned body to boot, she was truly gorgeous.
The man, Hans, stood by the water's edge, towel around his waist like mine was. He was tall, with a well-muscled upper body and chiselled face. Brown, swept-back hair covered the top of his head, while a carefully trimmed beard covered his chin, drawing focus to the startling purple irises embedded in his face.
Interestingly enough, he was also completely dry, obviously not having touched the water.
They made for quite the striking pair, and, if my Detect Danger skill was correct, they were also incredibly powerful.
They, in turn, took in my appearance, eyes being drawn to the numerous, though thin, scars dotting my chest.
While Aqua was a great healer, she wasn't perfect, and not all wounds required her healing, so some marks still remained from my… less than intelligent moments.
I nodded to them, and slipped into the water as Hans knelt down and whispered to Wolbach.
"Did hear what we said?" he asked, though my skill enhanced senses still detected it.
"I… don't think so. He doesn't look suspicious or anything," she returned at equal volume.
"I agree," he continued before standing back up, "Alright," he said at a more normal volume, "I must go now, I have things to attend to,"
She nodded to him and he turned and walked out, still yet to touch the water.
With Hans gone, Wolbach turned to me.
"You… don't seem to be a resident. Are you here for vacation?" she asked.
I laughed, "To some degree. I'm an adventurer by trade, and my party-mates insisted we come here for a break. And I must admit, the springs certainly are good,"
She giggled, "They are. But you seem so young, why do you need to recuperate with the waters?"
I groaned, "A lot of things," I began, "My party always seems to be sucked into trouble," I elaborated, "What about you miss?"
She hummed aloud, "I was fighting my other half, but I couldn't completely snatch my powers back," she began nigh ironically, as though telling a joke, "so now I'm using the hot springs to recuperate," she said with a smile.
"You're quite good with stories, aren't you?" I laughed, not believing it was false for a moment, "I think a mage in my team would believe you, if you told her that," I said with a grin, "so be careful with those tales of yours,"
She grinned back, "Is your party-mate a Crimson Demon clan member, by any chance?" she laughed, before she turned more serious, "I wonder how that Crimson Demon girl is going? It has been so long since I taught her 'Explosion',"
That's dangerous. She's the one who convinced Megumin to use 'Explosion' exclusively then? She is truly powerful. And something else, too.
She sighed, oblivious to my musings, "I wouldn't need these baths if I could find my other half, though it won't be so easy to find her,"
"Maybe, but I'd say the hot springs are a whole lot more enjoyable," I countered.
"True," she admitted, "They almost make living here worthwhile,"
I groaned, "The cultists?" she nodded, "By the gods, they're so annoying," I said, looking back to her.
Oh. Now I remember who you are. Time to have a bit of fun
"I swear, if I found that goddess of theirs, I'd have words for her," I continued.
She giggled, "And how would you spot this goddess?" she returned.
I locked eyes with her, "Oh, I have my ways, Wolbach,"
After all, I had experience with goddess's. Recognising the one of Sloth and Violence wasn't a difficult task.
Her eyes widened as her jaw loosed in a perfect display of surprise.
I smirked as I stood and climbed out of the water, "Goodbye my lady, maybe we'll see each other again," I said, giving her a small bow as I left her within the water in a state of shock.
After I returned, I was immediately recruited into baby-sitting Megumin with Wiz, so she could cast her 'Explosion'.
We were nearing the exit to the city when Wiz stopped suddenly.
"That man looks familiar…" she said.
I followed her line of sight.
It was Hans.
"Don't worry about it," I said rather forcefully, taking her arm and dragging her back onto the path we had been following.
"Huh? But I'm sure I've seen him before," she argued.
"It's Hans," I told her after I leant in close to her ear, so that Megumin wouldn't hear me.
Her eyes widened in realisation, before she swallowed, and nodded to me, now wilfully following.
Megumin, thankfully, thought nothing of the incident. She did, however, have other questions for Wiz.
"Hey Wiz," she began upon exiting the city, "Was there anyone else in the Demon King army who could use 'Explosion'? Maybe a busty red-head woman?" she asked.
Wolbach.
Wiz hummed in thought, before shaking her head, "No, but when I left the main castle, there were only six generals, and now there are eight, so it could be one of those two,"
"I see," she said thoughtfully.
"Why do you want to know?" I asked in return, "Do you have a name maybe?"
"No," she answered, shaking her head, "She never told me her name. I wanted to know because that's the woman who showed me the strength of magic, and set me on the Path of Explosions,"
"Oh, neat," I said simply, before a ping of my 'Detect Enemy' went off.
"Heads up," I warned, "There are lots of enemies around here… but they don't seem to be approaching," I finished with confusion.
"The monsters around Alcanretia are notoriously passive. I heard they tend to shy away from Axis cultists," she explained, "Plus, I am a lich, so they would avoid me instinctively,"
I snorted, "Yeah, just might be that,"
She giggled, "Might be,"
Megumin sighed, "Might as well just use it here then. I wanted to use it on a whole heap of monsters and maybe catch up to Kazuma, but if they're all just hiding…"
She lifted her staff in preparation, and after a short incantation-
"'Explosion'!"
-was released.
The blast was smaller than normal, with the surrounding trees left (mostly) still standing.
Megumin began to collapse, but I caught her, my arms going under her armpits. I would have simply carried her on my back, but I had my bow with me, so that would make for uncomfortable travel for both parties.
Instead I transferred some of my mana and life-force over, enough that she could stand by herself.
She let out a breath, turning to face me, "Thanks, Kazuma,"
"No pro-"
'Detect Enemy' screamed at me.
Without hesitation, I pulled the bow from my back, drawing an arrow with it. I had the arrow nocked, and drawn before I had even aimed at the supposed enemy.
Suddenly, there was a roar, and a black panther/sabre-tooth tiger hybrid leapt from the underbrush only metres away.
The rookie-killer then used its face to greet my arrow.
I took a step left as the monster's momentum carried its corpse through the space my body had just occupied.
"Well," I huffed, as though we hadn't all just nearly been slaughtered, "That was something,"
The women looked at me in disbelief.
We returned to find the streets bustling with activity.
"What's going on?" Megumin asked, "Some kind of special event?"
"It is a tourist city, so maybe," Wiz agreed.
Curious, we wove through the crowd, only to find Aqua at the centre, standing on a small crate, a megaphone in hand, with Darkness and Yunyun at her side, both looking positively mortified.
The fuck is this girl doing now?
The two women with me seemed to have similar thoughts, judging by their expressions.
"Go back to the hotel you two," I said with a sigh, "I'll deal with her,"
They nodded gratefully before disappearing into the crowd.
"My beloved Axis cultists!" Aqua yelled into her megaphone, "Right now, the Demon King army are conducting destructive attacks on this city!"
The women to either side of her lowered their heads, looking as though they wanted nothing more than to disappear that instant.
"They're attempting to poison the city's hot springs! I have already confirmed that many of the hot springs have been hit!" Aqua continued.
"What do you mean?" a civilian challenged, "I used that hot spring right there this morning, and it was fine!"
Aqua nodded in agreement, to the confusion of many, "That is because I have gone through and systematically purified all of the hot springs to destroy any toxins within them!" she exclaimed proudly, "But don't let you're guard down, as they could poison them again! I ask that no-one use the hot springs for the time being until the problem is resolved!" she requested.
"Uh, Miss Priest," an older man began, "This is the city of hot springs. If none use our hot springs, how will we provide for ourselves?" he asked.
"Right!" a younger man agreed, "Why would the Demon King even poison a place like this?" he countered.
"They plan to destroy the economy in an attempt to bring the Axis Cult to its knees!" she declared, "They fear us, so they would use underhanded tactics to destroy us! But we will not bend, we will not bow! The Demon King shall forever fear the strength of the Axis Cult, and he will know we are not so easily tamed!"
I let out a low whistle.
Quite the speech.
"Hey!" screamed a menacing looking man, "You! What did you do to my hot spring?! It's all just warm water now!"
"Yeah! That's her!" yelled another man, "She's been ruining all the hot springs!" he claimed.
"I haven't been ruining them!" she shrieked back, "I was clearing all the springs of poison! I did it to protect the Axis Cult and its customers!"
"Bullshit!" the second man yelled, "There's no way you could have purified all the springs by yourself in such a short time without anyone seeing you! You must have suck in when they were closed!"
Aqua's face flushed a little, "I-I admit I did sneak in, but I did it because if anyone saw my purification, my identity would be exposed!"
Uh-oh. Time for you to stop Aqua.
I immediately began pushing for the front of the crowd.
"Oh?" the first man asked smugly, "And what is your identity?"
I reached the front of the crowd as Aqua began to panic, where I then used my magic to dump litres and litres of water vapour into the air, completely obscuring the crowd's focal point.
The harmless smoke-like substance caused people to panic, each scrambling away from the cloud, giving me enough time to grab Aqua's wrist and began pulling her in the opposite direction.
"Darkness! Yunyun!" I said as loudly as I dared, "Time to go!"
They nodded, relief colouring their features as they followed after me at a run.
"K-Kazuma?! What are you doing here?!" Aqua half-yelled.
"Saving your ass!" I returned, "The hell were you thinking? Were you trying to start a riot?"
"No!" she hurriedly denied, "I just wanted to protect my followers!"
I groaned, "I get that, but there are a lot of better ways you could have gone about it!" I countered, "C'mon, we'll meet up with Megumin and Wiz back at the hotel and then figure out what to do next,"
"O-okay!" she huffed, already tiring from the fast pace.
"We're not going to be dealing with this ourselves," I declared, "We're here on holiday, so we'll hand this over to the city guards and Adventurers' Guild to resolve,"
Aqua gritted her teeth, obviously wishing the deal with the threat to her following personally, but nodded regardless, accepting my leadership.
"Okay," she huffed, "Then we just need to figure out who the culprit is, then we can give them the information to get them arrested!"
I shook my head, "I already know who it is,"
Cue noises of surprise from all but Wiz.
"H-how do you know, Kazuma-san?" asked Yunyun timidly.
"I found out by accident. When I went to the hot spring this morning, I found a man boasting to himself," I decided to leave out Wolbach to keep Megumin out of the way, "about how he had poisoned the hot springs, and that 'that damned cult will finally be destroyed,'" I recited, "and with Wiz's help, I confirmed who it was,"
The women looked to me in anticipation.
"The culprit is Hans, general of the Demon King army,"
Yunyun, Darkness, and Megumin gasped, and Aqua sucked in a breath through her teeth, while Wiz nodded solemnly.
"From what I can tell with my skills, he's extremely powerful, much more so than Beldia was, so this is not a fight we should take," I instructed firmly, "Wiz? What else can you tell us about Hans?"
"Not much, unfortunately. He was always very secretive, despite his impressive power, and was very good at infiltration," she explained.
I nodded, picking up where she left off, "He's a tall, buff man. Tanned skin with brown spikey hair and purple eyes. I don't know what he wears though, as I only saw him at the hot spring and only for a second later today. But, for some reason, he never got in the hot spring, and he was completely dry, so maybe he doesn't like water, just like Beldia,"
Aqua's eyes gleamed.
"But as I said; we will not be interfering," Aqua sighed, "What we need now is evidence. We may be accomplished adventurers, but our word is not enough to convict a man. Have you guys got any ideas?"
"I do!" Aqua said, "We can use the plan I had to discover who it was! I was going to submit a survey to the hot spring owners to see which customers visit the most springs,"
I nodded.
"That, along with our warning, should be enough to put up a warrant for his arrest,"
Nods were shared among the five.
"Alright then," I said, drawing their attention back to myself, "Let's get to it,"
"So, surveys say the most common visitor is a," I paused to stifle my laughter, "girl with blue hair and eyes, wearing a purple hagoromo,"
I turned to Aqua.
"When did you join the Demon King army Aqua?"
She slapped my arm and took the survey from my hands, glaring at me.
"Here. Second most common was a tanned man with brown hair and purple eyes. Just as you suspected Kazuma,"
I nodded, "Let's take this to the guild. This, and my word, should be enough,"
After a short walk, we arrived at the, thankfully close, Adventurers' Guild.
"Hello miss," I said to the receptionist with a kind smile, "Do you have some time?"
She looked up from the papers before her and blinked, before nodding, "Sure. What do you need sir?"
"I'm here to have an arrest warrant issued for a man,"
"Eh? What for?"
I looked around at the partially filled hall before speaking once more, "Could we take this somewhere more private? This is a very dangerous matter,"
She nodded slowly, before opening a gate and beckoning me through it.
I turned to my companions, "Darkness, you're with me. Rest of you, sit tight. This shouldn't take too long,"
Darkness followed me through the gate dutifully.
The Guild employee led us to a small room. It looked somewhat alike to an interrogation room. A metal table, bolted to the floor in the middle, and two chairs on either side of it.
She sat on the other side of the table while Darkness and I took the closer ones.
"This man," I began, handing her a portrait Aqua had drawn of Hans, quite a good one too, "has been poisoning hot springs throughout the city," I paused to let her digest the information, "My priest, the girl with the blue hair, has since visited every hot spring in the city, purifying each of them in order to prevent anyone from being poisoned. We conducted a survey of the hot spring owners to see the most common customers, and as you can see, after my priest, is the man in the portrait,"
I handed her the compiled survey, and she looked it over.
"This… is suspicious. We've had reports of people getting sick after using hot springs, and poisonings would explain it," she began, before looking from the surveys back to me, "but this is not enough evidence to convict this man," she explained.
I nodded, "I had thought so. I know who he is, and his identity is incriminating in its own right,"
"And who is he?" she asked.
"Firstly, I can only give you my word that it is the truth, so I'll have to prove to you that my word is evidence enough. Here,"
I handed across my Adventurers' Card.
"Satou Kazuma-san" she read quietly, glancing up at me to confirm the portrait displayed on it, before her eyes went wide.
"Wait! Satou Kazuma?! You're the Satou Kazuma?!" she exclaimed in disbelief.
I lowered my head, "At your service,"
"You… you, you slew a Demon King general!" she said, barely containing her excitement, "You stopped the Destroyer! You're really that Satou Kazuma?!"
I laughed lightly, "That's me. And it was two of the Demon Kin generals, actually. I slew another just a week ago,"
"A-another one?!" she asked, looking star-struck.
"Aha, yeah. Vanir, the Duke of Hell," I answered, a little surprised by the adoration in her eyes.
"W-wow! You're incredible Satou-sama! And you're all the way up to level thirty-four!"
Oh? I had levelled? I hadn't noticed. Probably from all those Runners.
"I-I just wanted to say," the employee stammered, "it's an honour to meet you, Satou-sama,"
"That's very kind of you, but I'm really nothing special. I just do what I've got to do," I answered with a hint of bashfulness, "But onto business,"
"Eh? R-right!" she stammered, stopping to breathe deeply and collect herself, "So who is he Satou-sama?"
"This is Hans, another general of the Demon King army,"
She gasped, "And he's trying to poison the springs?" she asked.
I nodded in confirmation, "I managed to listen in on him gloating to himself about how he had been poisoning the pools, so my priest went and purified all of them. We couldn't have anyone being hurt,"
She looked at me with a mild blush to her cheeks, before she shook herself out of it and looked at me ruefully.
"I'm sorry Satou-sama, I really am, but your word still isn't enough evidence," she explained with sorrow, "I believe you! I really do! But it just won't hold up in court! The Guild can't be caught taking sides in this kind of altercations,"
I smiled at her, "Don't worry, I've got everything you should need,"
"Y-you do?"
"Darkness? Show her your pendant,"
"Eh? Alright Kazuma," Darkness answered.
She lifted her head to expose a thin chain around her neck, which she grabbed, pulling a pendant out into the light.
"T-the Dustiness Ford seal?!" the Guild woman squealed.
"Yep. That should be good right? A first class adventurer, and a high class noble, both willing to give testaments,"
"Y-yes!" she stammered, "That will be enough! I will go set up and distribute the warrant immediately!"
She stood quickly, and made her way to the exit before I caught her arm.
I looked to her name tag quickly to find her name.
"Miss Sola-" Oh the irony, "please be careful,"
She gulped and flushed again.
"Hans is incredibly dangerous. If you don't take the necessary precautions, a lot of people could get hurt," I told her, worry clear in my eyes.
She nodded, shaking now present in her arms, "I u-understand Satou-sama. I will be careful. And, um," she flushed deeply, "I know this isn't exactly appropriate, but could I please have your autograph?" she said, presenting a small notebook and pen.
I snickered, and she looked away, embarrassed.
"I-I'm sorry, I-I shouldn't-" she stammered.
"It's fine," I insisted, taking the notebook, "I was just surprised. I've never had anyone ask for an autograph before,"
"R-really? B-but you're so famous!" she returned.
"I am?" I asked, legitimately confused, opening the notebook.
"Y-yes! Everyone is always talking about your great endeavours! You're really popular here in Alcanretia," she explained.
Oh my. I hadn't expected my influence to spread so far so quickly. Though I suppose I had defeated a number of global threats.
"I had no idea," I laughed, finishing up with a signature on her notebook, "Well, please keep the fact that I'm here a secret Miss Sola. I'm here on holiday, after all,"
"O-of course, Satou-sama!" she said, taking the notebook back and reading what I had written.
'To Miss Sola,
It takes a great deal of courage to stand up against your enemies.
It takes a great deal more to stand up to your heroes.
Keep fighting the good fight.
- Satou Kazuma'
She flushed deeply as she read, before stuttering out a thanks and disappearing out the door.
Darkness looked at me, disbelief on her face.
"Well," I said, as though nothing particularly strange had happened, "That was something,"
We grouped up with the rest of the party.
The Guild told us they would keep us informed as to the progress of the arrest, and so, with our mission complete, we returned to our hotel, and took the day to relax within its walls, chatting, eating, and playing. We enjoyed ourselves until evening.
Then someone began knocking on the door frantically.
"Satou-sama! Satou-sama!" I heard through the door.
I rushed over and pulled it open, revealing an out of breath Sola.
"Satou-sama!" she repeated, "The hot springs! Poisonous water is flowing out of the hot springs all over the city!"
'Too easy'.
Me and my big fucking mouth.