I think...
No, forget that beginning.
...
Today Do-hyun said I've been smiling a lot lately.
That's why.
I denied it, of course.
Then he laughed in a provocative way.
I don't know why I feel like throwing something at his head whenever he mentions your name.
Maybe because he's right.
And that's annoying.
...
I've discovered something strange.
When I hear your footsteps in the hallway, I automatically look up.
Even if I'm busy.
Even if I'm not waiting for you.
My body always precedes me.
It's a little embarrassing.
...
I wanted to tell you something today.
But when you looked at me…
I forgot.
No, I didn't forget.
I pretended I did.
There's a difference.
...
Have you noticed that you look at people with a chilling calmness?
Then when you smile…
Your whole face changes.
Don't smile so much.
It's… unfair.
...
Today I came home and found the coffee cup I left out this morning washed up.
I didn't ask if it was you.
And I didn't ask Do-hyun either.
But I smiled.
It's strange how little things can make us happy.
...
I think I've been thinking about messages too much.
Every time my phone vibrates…
For a moment, I hope it's you.
Then I pretend it doesn't matter when I realize it isn't.
Childish behavior.
Don't tell anyone.
...
Do-hyun says I've become less grumpy.
Liar.
I'm still frowning.
Only...
Not as much.
...
There's a restaurant we passed last week.
I said it looked nice.
I don't know if I remembered that.
But I kept thinking about it all the way home.
...
Sometimes I feel like I talk too much when I'm with you.
Then I get home and remember every word I said.
And I decide I won't talk so much next time.
Then...
I fail.
...
Is this the stage where a person starts acting stupid?
If the answer is yes...
Then I don't want to know what the next stage is.
...
Today your hand accidentally touched mine.
For just a second.
The problem is, I kept thinking about that second all day.
This is ridiculous.
I know.
...
I wanted to write something...
But it looks awkward on paper.
So I'll write it down and then...
Maybe tear it up.
...
I feel comfortable when you're near.
...
No.
That's awkward too.
...
Let's write something else.
The sky was beautiful today.
That's better.
...
Sometimes I wonder...
Do you notice the same things I do?
Like you always walk more slowly when I'm tired.
Or that you wait for me without telling me to hurry.
Or that you open the door without even realizing it.
Maybe you don't even think about these things.
But I...
Notice them all.
...
I don't like being treated kindly.
Because I don't know how to respond.
But...
Don't stop.
...
There's a sentence I wrote here.
Then I crossed it out.
Then I wrote it again.
Then I crossed it out again.
So...
I won't write it down.
...
I think Do-hyun will keep making fun of me if I keep looking at you like that.
I'll have to learn to act.
...
By the way...
If you ever read this page...
It means I left it somewhere stupid.
Or Do-hyun stole it.
Either way...
Please...
Pretend you didn't read anything.
...
...
...
I think I...