Amory's POV
My hands were hurting, my leg was numb, I couldn't feel it, but there was a place I felt the most, my mid region, I could feel it, and it feels like I have been sawn in half, I already know I can't stand but the pain was unbearable, I'm in excruciating pain, my eyelid opened and I saw a blurry figure above me, the crippling pain I felt worsened, someone was cutting through me, the pain turned to shocks, traveling through my entire being, I can't move, but I could feel, I was crying and groaning but nobody seem to hear me...
I ... I just wanted it to end, I wanted to stop feeling, the pain was just too much, shocks of current pain spread through me, till I couldn't anymore and I blanked out, darkness covered me.
I woke up again... My throat was patched and I was numb all over. It isn't a good feeling but better than the pain so I just lay there awake but unwilling to open my eyes.
I felt ruffling around me, and I lay there motionless until I heard the voice.
" Hey, Ames!! Are you awake, Ames !!!"
Atticus is here, I heard his voice recurring my head and I opened my eyes slowly and I was met with a bewildered eye of my brother staring down at me, the mop of ginger hair on his head almost covering his eyes and falling over his head , and in the midst of my not feeling...
I cracked a smile which was a chore on my own side but I couldn't help it, so I just smiled and he smiled back at me
" Are you alright?? The doctor said the surgery was successful"
I nodded, still unable to say anything, I touched my lips and he responded
" Are you thirsty, I'll bring water"
He came back with a glass of water but I couldn't reach him, he kept stretching his hand to me but I couldn't stand up to get it, I even tried standing but I couldn't feel any part of my body and as he tried he was getting sucked into a black void and I heard him keep saying
" Am...Ames I can't seem to reach you, I really want to give you the water but I ... I'm I can't reach you "
I watched him get sucked into the void, little by little till he disappeared completely, while I laid in the bed crying my eyes out... The fact that I couldn't move was more anguishing, because all I could do was cry, and cry utter despair.
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I woke up with a startle as I sat up but I found someone's arms around me holding me tightly so I struggled to break free, with tears streaming down my face
"Hey shhhh.... it's fine I'm here, hey it's me it's kale, calm down"
I quietened down when I heard his name, his arms tightened around me, while his hand stroked my head, and at that moment I didn't care about anything or anyone, I just wrapped my arm around him and wept, the wrenching feeling at the centre of chest was squeezing too tight, but Kale's arm was tight around me and my hand feasted his shirt as I wept in his neck.
" It's alright, it's going to be fine, I'm here "
He kept whispering
" It hurts " I said and my voice quivered
" I know and this too shall pass Amory, I'm here, I'll always be here "
I just lay snuggled in his chest as I felt the pressure in my chest start to elevate a little, it was after a while that I finally calmed down and my breathe evened out, I felt a state of calm come over me but I didn't stand up or untangle myself with Kale, I neither had the strength nor the will to do so and kale didn't object either, so I just stayed still letting myself dwell in that peace and eventually fell asleep.
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I woke up after some time, this time without a shocking nightmare filled with memories I would rather not remember, I looked around my bed, it was stretched out for me to lie back down, I looked around but I didn't see Kale anywhere around the room, did he leave?? Already, I couldn't repress the feeling of disappointment that started welling inside of me, but It didn't go so far because the next moment, the door of my room was opened and Kale walked inside gracefully as always with a nylon bag in his hands.
On noticing me sitting up on my bed, he increased his pace and dropped the bag on the table beside me before facing me, undividedly giving me his full attention.
" You are awake?? I didn't expect you would be wake up before I came back"
I watched him while he carefully sat in from of me, his eyes still trained on me
"Where did you go to" I voiced out, obviously without thinking it through
" I went to buy food, the nurse said you can eat now, she also mentioned that you will be discharged tomorrow " He said and stood up to get the food, but not before setting an eating table before me and laid out the food on the table with so much accurate precision I couldn't help but bite my lips at the sight.
It's not like it's the first time I have seen him do something that way, I can't just get used to it, every time he stretches out the tiniest crease, or places things orderly the way he thinks it should be, this room is a clear evidence of it, it's normal for a hospital room to be arranged especially a VIP one but evening it, I can still see traces of kale in every corner and he is before me now concentrating sorely on the task of setting the table and making sure everything is in order so that I can eat comfortable.
The feeling it roused inside of me didn't make me hot or bothered, it was something I couldn't quite explain considering it sat at the pit of my stomach and made me super uncomfortable, yet I couldn't say anything or tell him to stop doing it either, so I just stared at his perfectly chiseled face, and skilled hands move around the table, his forearm was on display since rolled his sleeves showing perfectly veiny arms, I didn't mean to hyper fixate on it but I couldn't help it and before I could get myself and my self control back, my hand was already on his arm, and he turned his attention to me, looking up at me, his eyes was boring into mine so I had to say something.
" Ugh... I that's enough, I can eat it now just pass me the spoon"
I said using my other hand to gesture to the spoon and fork put together at the corner end of the tray of food, he took a moment to stare at my hand on his arm, and I was immediately aware I was still holding his arm and I let go immediately and he subsequently gave me the spoon and I proceeded to eat, I didn't even pay attention to what I was eating or the other contents in the table, I was far too distracted for that.
He sat there dutifully, staring at me which just helped effectively to make my face burn in embarrassment, why ? I'm yet to figure out why
My head was bent with my loose hair falling down to cover my face as I ate my food. It worked perfectly for me to hide the fact that I was blushing profusely.
That didn't last long because moments later I was startled out of my mind when I felt a pair of cold hands reach for my face, before gathering my hair in his hands and tucking it behind my ear, before muttering slowly.
" The hair will get into your food"
With his hands still brushing the reminder of the hair on the other side that keeps falling over, seeing his struggle in an attempt to tame my wild hair, I chuckled a little
" It's fine, it's not going to get into my food I'll be careful, I'm just sick not a child"
But he was still not satisfied as he moved to sit beside me in the bed making me make room for him instinctively, both of his hands in my hair now.
Does he have any idea of how close he is to me right now?? And what it's doing to me.
" I can't see your face " he said in a monotone voice
And I was forced to look at him, and once again my eyes met those swirling ocean orbs that I have carefully avoided since and I clenched the spoon in my hand.
Get it together Amory.
" W..what" I ended up stuttering after I heard him, my eyes fixed on him
" I said I couldn't see your face, your hair was covering most of it, that was unsettling in a way"
And once again I'm transfixed, I closed my eyes and inhaled a considerable amount of oxygen to suit my aching lungs, considering I have been breathing well for the past 10 minutes, and scrambled out of the bed in the next.
" I'm going to the bathroom" I said before leaving the room in a hurry without glancing back at him.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror as I washed my hands and I couldn't help but bite my lips.
Who the hell taught this guy to say things like that and... With so much seriousness as if he was not flirting and like, almost like he means every word that ever leaves his mouth.
Making me clench my fingers and bite my lips every damn second to stop me from doing something I might regret the next second.
After I'm able to convince myself I look better, I tied my head up as lightly as I could so as not to draw or tighten the area of the injury. The bandage was around my head like a headband.
Somehow kale has managed to be with me and help me not think about all the things that went down before I ended up in the hospital or the fact that I have no idea where the hell the briefcase is which is supposed to be my mission box, and definitely not the fact that none of parents are here in the hospital, which is not much of a surprise, I didn't expect her to visit or anything...
But for some reason, the ugly feeling of hurt from not seeing her after I got hurt from the mission she gave me, started to spring up, I guess this is something that will always be here, even though I'm used to it, this compression in my chest, if I let it, it will soon grow to even be a physical pain, so I push it down as usual, push deep down where no one can see, even I can't reach it, and I smile at the mirror, my perfect mask and then walk out of the bathroom.
I walked back into the room to find Kale answering a call, his back was turned to me and he was speaking to the person. I couldn't help but notice how deep his voice had gotten and the thick accent of British English accentuated his voice as it rolled off his tongue.
He turned around to find me standing in the middle of the room and without notice he switched and suddenly he was speaking another language which took me a while to recognize.
It was French, I didn't want to think about how good he was at it, that his accent sounds like he's truly from France and absolutely can't speak another language so well.
I saw his body tense before he walked to me, the phone still held to his ear as he listened carefully to the person on the other end of the call.
I looked up to him as he looked down at me, his eyes scanning my still half dried face. I don't know if he realized but his hands were trailing around my face. I didn't stop him, I couldn't.
I have always seen him do things as if it's a subconscious action, I watched him say a few things to the phone, still french before ending the call and his attention was back on me.
" You alright??"
" Yeah" I answered.
" Do you have to do somewhere" I asked and he nodded
" But not until you fall asleep again," he added as if to reassure me.
I wanted to say something but he was already leading me to sit back down
" Don't worry I'll be back before you wake up I promise, just finish eating first"
I didn't have anything to say after that, so I just nodded