Yaar, mujhe un logo se bahut chid hai jo zindgi ko 'IMDB' ki rating samajh baithe hai. Aap inke saath kahi bhi chale jao, inka internal kritic jaag jata hai.
Pichhle hafte mai apne ek dost ke saath momos khane gaya 60$ ki plate thi, sadak kinare rehadi wala khada tha.
Maine ek pees muh me dala, jannat ka ehsaas hua. Maine usse puchha, bhai, kaise hai ?
Wo Banda chatni ka ek katra chakhta hai, apni apni aankhe band krta hai jaise koi bahut bada seff ho, aur bolta hai - 'yaar, feeling me wo sofistication nahi hai, texture thoda ruff hai or spices ka balance... Hmmm, thoda off hai .'
Maine kaha - ' Abe oo MasterChef ke rejected damaad! 60$ me tujhe kya thiland ka seff lakar du jo tere samne live perform kre ? 60$ me agar pet kharab nahi hua, to wahi sabse badi rating hai."
Jab ye log movie dekhne jate hai....
" Inke saath film dekhna to sakshat narak hai.
puri film me aap emotional ho rahe ho, hero mar raha hai, aap ro rahe ho... Aur ye bagal se fusfusayenge - ' lighting dekhi ? Shado angeles bahut hi immature hai. Aur background score? ' Interstellar ki sasti copy lag rahi hai.
Bhai ! Mai yaha film dekhne aaya hu, tera Film making ka crash course attend karne nhi !
Aise logo ka bas chale to ye apni shadi ke fero ke baad pandit jii ko bhi bol de - ' mantro me wo gahrai nahi thi pandit jii, mantroccharan ki pitch thodi low thi. I will give this wedding...sorry. wedding....2.5 stars."
The ' free ' advise...
" Sabse jyada aag tab lagti hai jab aap inhe nahi chiz dikhao. Maine naya phone liya hai , badi khushi - Khushi dikhaya.
Mai : dekh Bhai , naya phone liya?
Wo : hmm.... Acchha hai . Per isi bajat me tu wo Chinese brand le leta na, to tujhe 0.002 megahurtz jyada process speed milti or camera me ' moon - zoom ka feature hota.'
Ab bhai, mujhe Chand ki photo khich kar isro ko thodi bhejni hai ? Mujhe bas apni dhundhli shakl saaf dekhni hai. Per nhi , inka kaam hai aapki Khushi ke gubbare me apni login ki pin chubhana ."
" Aise logo ke liye mere pass ek hi salah hai :
Kabhi dimaag ko ghar chhoro aur bas swad lo. Warna ek din yamraj bhi aayenge na to tum unse bologe - ' bhaise ki sawari thodi oudeted hai, airodynamics sahi nhi baith rahe ."